Chapter 24: With a little help from my friends.
It was a cool but sunny afternoon as Buffy and Willow sat at their table at the espresso pump. They'd been lucky to get it given the swarm of customers, most of them high school students with nowhere else to go. The two girls had arrived a little over half an hour ago and Willow was extracting information with her weapon of choice; the deluxe hot chocolate. She had observed over the years, that Buffy was always extra talkative after a hot chocolate, "He kissed you!" she exclaimed as she stared at Buffy in disbelief, "Wow…I mean what he did to you was wrong but… if you lo…"
"I don't," Buffy interrupted, "that's just it, I didn't feel anything," Buffy said, scooping the whip cream up with a straw.
"Nothing at all?" Willow confirmed.
Buffy shook her head, "I didn't want to hurt his feelings but, I don't think I ever loved him." She confirmed, "and I am so glad that we never…" Buffy trailed off giving Willow a suggestive look. Willow became fidgety and downed her drink, "oh, would you look at that I need more chocolaty goodness!"
Buffy laughed and made her way over to the counter. She found herself behind a group of girls, who were chatting animatedly.
"I will be so pleased when this year is over, I mean it's been one catastrophe after another," Sarah said dryly.
"Absolutely," Ashley agreed, flicking her long hair extensions over her skinny tanned shoulder, "I for one am just glad that the bleached bonehead won't be sticking around," she leaned in conspiratorially towards Sarah, "you know, I heard he's going back to England, like the first flight he can get, apparently there's nothing to keep him here in Sunnydale anymore." The two girls cackled like manic hyenas and flounced out with their takeaway coffees.
Buffy felt a stabbing pain course through her entire body, she rushed back to Willow, drinks forgotten. Willow noticed the tears bubbling in her eyes but before she could ask, Buffy spoke, "He's leaving!"
"Who?" Willow asked thoroughly confused.
"Spike!" Buffy cried, as she collapsed back onto the chair, "he can't go, Will, he just can't, I almost lost him on prom night, and I can't lose him…I need him…he's always been there for me Will, how am I going to…he's everything…he can't…he just can't," Buffy slumped down on the table and sobbed into her arms. Her pale denim jacket becoming darker as the tears ran freely.
Despite her friend's discernible turmoil, Willow suddenly felt very excited, "Oh my god…Buffy!" she exclaimed, "You love Spike." Willow said matter-of-factly.
Slowly, Buffy raised her head, "Well yeah," she sniffled, "he's my best friend, I feel like I've known him my whole life…we've…"
"No," Willow interrupted again, she stood from her seat and ran round the table. She crouched down, grabbing Buffy by the shoulders and forcing her to make eye contact, she studied them for a moment before her suspicions were confirmed. "You love Spike!" she repeated slowly and with more emphasis.
For several minutes Buffy just blinked at her friend, "I…I… "she eventually stammered.
Willow had summoned her resolve face. She noticed changes between Buffy and Spike, granted they hadn't been as evident as the changes she'd noticed between Xander and Cordelia, but they were there. There was something between them, an attraction she had thought at first, but it was more than just physical. There were feelings involved and Willow wasn't going to give Buffy any chance to reason her way out of admitting to it.
"Who's the first person you call when you're bursting with news?" Willow asked.
"Spike," Buffy answered truthfully, wiping away a few tears.
Willow remained outwardly calm although her insides were jumping and clapping like a little school girl; she'd made progress, "Who's the first person you call when your world is collapsing or at the very least you're mildly disgruntled?" she continued, while she still held Buffy's attention.
Buffy thought about the question. She failed her driving test; she phoned Spike, she'd had an argument with her sister; she phoned Spike, she needed help; she phoned Spike. He answered. He always answered. He was always there. Willow stared at her waiting for her answer, it was a little slower coming this time, but it was the same, "Spike," Buffy replied.
Willow squeezed her friends hand gently, "Who put you back together after Angel?"
Buffy closed her eyes, remembering that night. LA seemed like a distant memory and for once her mind wasn't drawn back to the row with her father or walking in on Angel. It went to the hotel room. The morning she woke up in his arms and wanted to stay there forever feeling safe and wanted. Buffy's eyes snapped open suddenly as realisation began to dawn, "Spike," she answered her eyes widening.
Willow began to smile as she went in for the kill, "Who's the reason you said no to everyone who asked you to prom?" Willow asked her eyes wide and fixed on Buffy.
Buffy's mind was swimming, Riley, Pete and Scott had all asked her. Each of them had been pleasing to look at and seemed like decent enough guys but Buffy had turned them all down. She hadn't quite known why. There was just something about them that didn't feel right. She remembered seeing the sign on Spike's window, the feeling of joy that ran through her at the mere words he had written. She remembered him standing at the bottom of her stairs, his smile, the tingling feeling she had dancing with him.
"S…Sp…Spike," Buffy said slowly, "I said no because they… because… they weren't Spike." There was a minute's silence as Willow waited with bated breath. She watched as Buffy's fingers brushed against her lips and wondered what could be going through her head but she knew better than to interrupt this crucial point. Buffy remembered that awful feeling when Spike had let go of her hand and disappeared into the smoke. Her heart was pounding, pleading with her, begging her; 'you've already chosen, you just have to listen'.
Buffy's head had flopped to her chest, Willow grew a little concerned when she felt her start to shake and saw a few tears drop down into her lap. For a brief moment Willow thought she had got everything wrong and opened up a can of worms, but then Buffy threw her head back taking in a big breath and Willow realised she was smiling, laughing even, "I do love him," Buffy said feeling elated.
"Who?" Willow asked with a sly grin, causing Buffy to laugh even more.
"Spike," Buffy replied, "I love Spike!" she froze for moment as she let the words sink in. They sounded like music. They sounded like freedom. She looked at Willow feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off her, "Oh god! I love Spike, I mean I really love him!"
"Yay!" Willow exclaimed hugging Buffy tightly and then pushing her away abruptly, "why are you still here?" she mock-scolded.
Buffy grinned as she stood to leave but a wave of doubt caused her to turn back, "What if he doesn't feel the same Will?" she asked with a frown.
Willow grasped her shoulders tightly and said, "He's getting on a plane, unless you give him a reason not to," She looked directly at Buffy, her resolve unwavering as she continued, "are you going to take that risk, or are you going to take a leap?"
"He'll catch you," Willow whispered to no-one but herself as she watched Buffy sprint out of the coffee house.
Spike and Cordelia had spent a long and boring morning at Sunnydale general, waiting for Xander to have his x-ray. Thankfully there weren't any broken bones, but that didn't stop him from soaking up the extra attention. He'd finally come out around lunch time with a sling wrapped around one arm, a lolly pop his other hand and was modelling an 'I've been a brave boy' sticker along with a goofy grin.
The three friends were now sat on a park bench enjoying the sunshine. With his free hand, Xander reached over and passed Spike and Cordelia a can from his gym bag.
"So Buff's back with Angel?" Xander ventured, "I gotta say I never saw that coming." He looked between his girlfriend and her brooding cousin, as he tried to get events straight in his head.
"They were kissing on the porch yesterday," Spike said trying not to let the image back in.
"As usual Spike adds two and two and comes up with a grapefruit," Cordelia sighed, not taking her eyes of the magazine article she was pretending to read, "one kiss doesn't mean anything, especially not when he doesn't love her, not like you do,"
"She's nice but I wouldn't say I loved Buffy," Xander joked flippantly.
"Not you, dumb ass," Cordelia said pointing to a very angry looking Spike, "him."
Xander looked at Spike amazed, "you love Buffy?" he questioned. Spike looked between the pair and finally admitted defeat as he gave a slight nod of confirmation.
"Buddy! That's great," Xander said patting his friend on the shoulder, "you know I had my suspicions."
"Yeah great," Spike mumbled sarcastically, before his temper started rising, he ran his hands through his hair, "I love Buffy. I love her so much I could explode." Jumping up from his seat he twirled around in a circle gesturing with his arms, "I'd do anything for her. Doesn't make a difference though, she doesn't love me."
As he turned away, Spike felt two hands rest on either side of his shoulders and was guided back on to the bench. "Yes, she does," Cordelia and Xander confirmed in unison. Spike looked blankly between them.
Cordelia was the first to speak, her voice calm and firm, "She loves you. If I hadn't have pulled her back on prom night, she would have followed you into that fire. She grabbed me so tightly."
"Yeah and I still have the bruises that prove it," Xander added helpfully, "She cried over you, she was completely broken."
Cordelia looked at him with her soft brown eyes, "Still think she doesn't love you?"
"B…But," Spike stammered, "she chose Angel, not me" he said still processing.
"Spike, you never told her," Cordelia reasoned, "How can she chose someone over you when she doesn't know you are an option?"
"So," Xander ventured after a nervous pause, "we just going to stand about here all day or are you going to get off your lazy bleached ass and profess your undying love for your loopy blonde neighbour?" Xander stretched out his good arm. Spike clasped it and pulled himself up, "thanks mate," he said and patted him heartily on the injured shoulder. Xander winced in pain at the contact.
"Oops!" Spike said shrugging, "Sorry."
"No you're not," Xander said as he turned to follow Spike and Cordelia to the car.
"No, I'm not," Spike agreed smirking as he swung Xander's bag in the car with his own. He sighed dejectedly and looked back at his friends, "I don't know what good it'll do though, she still kissed Angel, and she's still got a choice to make."
I choose you, Spike," came a voice from behind him.