"So," Harry begins, arms crossed, crowding the Unspeakable into a corner of the large demonstration room. "Do you want to tell me how Albus Dumbledore got my information?"
The Unspeakable says nothing for a moment, the hood and disguise spells casting their face into a shadowed blur. "I know you can't see it, but I'm making a shocked face."
"Sometimes," Harry sighs like the breath was punched out of him. "Sometimes, you know, I just…"
"He got nothing on your precious boys that was truly secret," the Unspeakable reassures. "Just that they are very smart and very proactive."
"Which was apparently more than enough to catch his interest," Harry hisses.
"It was for a purpose," the Unspeakable soothes. "I spread different amounts of information to different people. I know who he has now and I'll…cull the herd, as it were."
"Do I look like I care?" Harry wonders. "Because I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you that impression."
"My, you are being very rude today," they tsk. "I like it."
Harry leans forward. "You don't check. Those cookies and brownies and cupcakes I give you when you visit? You don't check for poison. You never do."
The Unspeakable throws back their head and laughs, loud and genuinely delighted. The boys and the other Unspeakables, they turn away from their floating city to look.
Harry gives everyone a sheepish smile and waves them off. He takes a step back from the Unspeakable and clears his throat. "He said the boys needed a mentor to be truly great."
The Unspeakable stops laughing. "That ginger bitch said what?"
"Does he know about you?" Harry asks. "Because it sounded like he did. So he knows what you're doing with the boys and just verbally pimp slapped you-"
"No, no. Harry, I'm winning here because I'm purging his followers. I set this up-"
"And he now has information on the boys," Harry grits out. "They are too young for this. They can't stand on their own, don't have the power to make their own choices, and you'll help them but you play games and I know I can't do shit about any of this."
"You can do a lot more than you think," the Unspeakable sighs. "Harry, I will take care of you and yours. I promise you that." They gesture Harry closer. "Come here. Before we really get into it, let me check for any spells on you."
"I think I would notice him putting spells on me," Harry huffs but obligingly goes along with it as the Unspeakable pulls out a wand. "He cornered me in the café you always treat me to lunch in, that place is pretty open-"
The Unspeakable tugs and Harry glows, the shifting, mixing lights washing over his skin now each gathering to a different point on his body and then seeping off into misty orbs.
Harry's mouth shuts, teeth clicking together.
"Interesting," the Unspeakable muses. "He actually didn't put any monitoring spells on you. I would have scared you and watched as you ran back to someone you trusted and spilled all your secrets."
"What?" Harry blurts out. "Then who-"
Tom hurries up and collects a bright pink orb with the end of his (Harry's) holly wand, dragging it back onto Harry. He does the same to a dark blue, and then a sunny yellow-
"Excuse me?" Harry says pointedly, bending down to Tom's height with hands on his hips. "Hello, yes, filial child whom I have raised."
Harry recognises half of the spells as ones parents use to inform them of where the children are and if the child gets injured. Harry recognises them because he has also put them on Tom and Gellert, except he asked for permission, a step which the boys apparently deemed unnecessary when they did it to Harry.
Tom pauses. "It's nothing bad." He looks to his brother for help.
Gellert has also approached but he's patting his pockets because he can't find the elder wand. His expression abruptly smoothes over when the attention is on him. "Oh, yeah, it's nothing bad." Gellert looks away and then seems to come to a decision. "Harry, I don't know where the elder wand is."
Harry straightens up and pulls the wand out of his pocket. "I borrowed it when Albus approached me. I mean, no, I took the wand back because it's actually mine."
Gellert quickly trots up, takes the wand and starts replacing the spells back onto Harry.
"No dessert for a month," Harry declares.
Tom locks onto an electric blue orb, the last one, and frowns. "This isn't ours."
"That's mine," the Unspeakable says and with a flick of his wand, it starts moving towards Harry.
Harry slaps the spell away with a tiny protego shield stuck to his hand and it splashes against a wall before dissolving. "Unspeakable number Three, would you like to explain yourself?"
"It was a teaching experience?" the Unspeakable suggests. "For the boys. To see if they would notice the tampering?"
Harry looks around in vain, trying to find someone to take his side. The other Unspeakables have cleared out and Death is lounging on a chair, dressed as an Unspeakable, sipping what looks like a soul out of a teacup.
Harry finds no help whatsoever.
The Unspeakable tsks. "Don't bother, Harry, you're outnumbered."
Harry just ignores this whole matter and instead turns to the boys. "Okay, so about the man I just met…I don't want you to find him in a rush. I want you to be completely informed and prepared when you decide for yourselves whether you want to meet or not."
"You said Albus," Tom remembers. "Albus Dumbledore, the Dark Lord? He approached you about us?" Tom narrows his eyes. "Was he mean to you?"
"No, no. Quite polite, it just caught me off guard, having to deal with him when you're both still so young," Harry says quickly. He runs through his meeting with Dumbledore, wondering for a moment if he should gloss over the whole Order of the Phoenix matter but ends up just telling them all anyway because the boys should know.
It's really quite embarrassing because Harry blurted that out in annoyance, knowing it held certain connotation for his previous world's Dumbledore. In hindsight, maybe Harry should have kept his mouth shut. The look Albus got on his face was not the nicest.
The Unspeakable tilts their head at hearing the name.
"I will join with him," Tom declares. "Brother, watch Harry and don't mess up my project."
"No revenge," Harry cuts. "No stabbing people. Let's talk about this with a clear head."
"He's specialised in transfiguration, isn't he?" Gellert muses at Tom. "My interests are more compatible and I'm much better at acting normal. You should stay here instead."
Tom shakes his head. "Dumbledore doesn't want normal, he wants genius children to mentor. You are too good at pretending but even if I try to fake it, there is always something off about me that people are scared of. I would fit his preconceived notions."
"He'll take one look at you and decide he'll never be able to control you," Gellert points out.
"Even better," the Unspeakable muses. "The truly strong always want a challenge."
Harry drags a hand down his face. "Listen. Dumble – I mean Albus can do a lot of good for you. It is genuinely a good offer. He's great at networking, and if he really tries then he can make people love him – die for him. He also travels a lot, which you can't get with my - our - the Unspeakable. I want you to think about it, really weigh up the pros and cons."
"We already have," Tom points out.
"It's been like three minutes since I finished the story…" Harry trails off when he sees all three of them staring at him.
Gellert pats Harry on the arm. "It's okay, we'll be smart for you."
"Thanks," Harry says dryly. "You're lucky you're cute or I would be offended."
Tom is frowning and quickly brings their attention back to the matter at hand. "The Unspeakable has a point. The strong want a challenge. It would be more spiteful to not even give him that."
Gellert perks up. "Oh, yes. Boredom would be a stagnant frustration, nothing to fight against because there is nothing to begin with."
Harry sighs. "This is very childish of you both."
The Unspeakable raises a hand. "I will one hundred percent take credit for this idea."