"The muggle issue has gone over my head," the Unspeakable says, slumped into a transfigured bean bag chair they made from their office desk, peering at Harry through the mirror.
Harry is lying on the bed in front of his mirror, on his stomach and chin in hands. "Over your head?! Merlin, is that possible? Who's above you?"
The Unspeakable presses the tips of their fingers together under their chin (cloak) to make a triangle. "You see, Harry, there is the unfortunate matter of legality and considering it's an important international issue, I may no longer backhand plebs out of my way as I strut past."
"Poor you," Harry says sympathetically.
"That is why I am now mid-plan in taking over Italy-"
"Okay now we've gone too far," Harry cuts in. "Listen, I'd like to have this muggle spy thing under control but it's not like the boys won't ever face an opposing force. As long as we keep an eye on the situation, I think it'll be good for them."
The Unspeakable hums. "And who are you quoting from?"
"Gellert," Harry admits. "They think it's a fun little side project. They caught a spy the other day -lured the man in really- and they look so proud of themselves even though they didn't get anything worthwhile about why they're being targeted." Harry rolls his eyes. "I suppose we all had that James Bond phase - even if no one knows who James Bond is right now."
"Are they planning on selling the information they did get?"
Harry crosses his arms on the bed and lays his head down on top.
"Poor you," the Unspeakable echoes.
Harry's reply is cut off with a muffled shriek from downstairs. Harry is up on a knee in a split-second flat but hesitates because why is there spell fire when nothing can get past the wards-
A loud bang and the walls rattle.
Harry rushes downstairs and bursts into the library, immediately summoning the wands, which fly out of the boy's hands and into his own.
Understandably, the boys can do a lot of damage in a very short time. The room is cracked, the books are scattered with torn pages, Tom is bleeding from his arm, Gellert is taking in stuttered breaths and there's a post owl frantically scrambling out of the window.
"What are you doing?!" Harry cries. "What happened to talking out your differences, or literally anything else except for violence?"
"Gellert said he would skin my snake," Tom says, firmly shoving the blame over.
Gellert's head snaps to Tom, a twisted scowl flashing across his face before it smoothes out. "Harry is not to be involved in this."
Tom grits his teeth. "You broke the agreement, why would I bother respecting our previous contracts?"
Harry takes a deep breath. "Where are you hurt?" He pockets the elder wand and putters around for a moment casting what healing magic he can do.
"It's fine," Tom snaps, shoving Harry's hand away from his arm. "Small things."
The diagnostic charm comes back a cheery yellow and Harry refocuses now that they're not hurt. "What's the problem?"
Tom says nothing.
Gellert offers up a cute smile with dimples. "I wasn't actually going to skin his snake, it was an empty threat."
"What is the problem?" Harry repeats firmly. "This is no longer a joke. You hurt each other and that is not allowed."
Neither of them speak.
Harry sighs. "Alright then. No more wands, no more excursions down Knocktourn, no more side projects-"
"You can't!" Tom blurts out. "I just fixed the contamination in the fermentation process."
Gellert laces his fingers together in front of him. "Harry, dear, the project is at a delicate and time sensitive stage. This is nothing but punishment for the sake of punishment, it teaches us nothing, it means nothing."
Harry gestures around the room. "And what does this mean? What was the purpose of this? Because you could have talked it out, you could have taken a long walk to calm down, you could have even screamed into a pillow or gone to the Unspeakable to mediate. But you did this."
Gellert frowns. "How long will it be?"
"Until I stop being upset," Harry admits truthfully. "Give me your knife, Tom."
Tom starts to narrow his eyes.
"No," Harry states. "Not today. You are pushing it. Give me your knife."
Tom considers it but does unbuckle the holster and puts it into Harry's open palm.
"Go to your rooms," Harry tells them. "I'm going to fix this mess and then tell the Unspeakable to take over your projects. Your lessons with the shadow demon will also stop."
The two leave with perfectly bland expressions in their faces. Harry hesitates but ducks out of the room and the boys turns to look at him from the stairs.
Harry furrows his brows. "When you're ready to tell me what's wrong, we can deal with it together."
The Unspeakable arrives shortly after, considering the way Harry disappeared out of view so abruptly and they head out to the backyard and take a seat at their usual little table and chairs set up.
There are no biscuits however, and all Harry does is stare until the Unspeakable raises their hands in defence.
"Someone else is in the running to win," the Unspeakable explains.
"That dumb game?" Harry sighs. "They were fighting each other. I'm sorry but whatever you're doing isn't going to stand. They need to take a break."
"They're almost done," Unspeakable insists.
"They can take time off," Harry points out. "I don't want them fighting."
"It was a small argument, Harry," Unspeakable says, his tone becoming firm. "This is bigger than just you. Tom and Gellert are doing incredible things and this means more to them, to the entire wizarding world, than a short fight between boys-"
"Gellert had a cracked rib!" Harry screams, jerking to his feet. "Don't you give that shit like I'm being unreasonable, like this is the only chance they'll get, like they're not little fucking children! Nothing is more important than my family and if this causes them to fight then I am removing them from the situation. They are taking a break."
The Unspeakable sits back in the chair. "They'll hate you for this."
"Let them. If they snapped that hard, they're running themselves down. They need to rest and reassess what they've been doing."
The Unspeakable sighs. "Alright. But I warned you."