24

On her first day back to work, everyone had a billion questions. Sara and Grissom hadn't come to the previous week's Friday breakfast, so everyone wanted to know about the cruise. She tried to answer everyone's questions while she kept up with her work. It was funny answering to Catherine, not Grissom, and even funnier not having him there at all. She'd thought a lot about what Grissom had told her about not having to work. Maybe she'd talk more about it when she got home.

His first night by himself was not that bad. He'd called a few of his contacts and scheduled a couple seminars in March, April and May, so he was doing some research. It kept him busy enough not to go crazy. He couldn't believe how much he missed her after only a couple hours. But it was nice to look around his apartment and see all of her things. She'd moved practically everything in. Her major furniture was still at her apartment, but they were thinking about switching some of his things out for hers. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible since she'd voluntarily given up her place.

When Sara finally got home, he was at the door to greet her. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"How was it?"

"It was fine."

"Just fine?"

"It was weird without you."

"Here, too. Anything new?"

"Um…there's an opening in day shift."

"Day shift?"

"Yeah, shift supervisor."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was thinking I might apply."

"Oh?"

"You know, until I figure out whether I want to keep working, I should at least keep my options open. Besides, if I work days, at least our schedule would be a little more normal. I mean, then we could at least sleep at night and go out to dinner at night like regular people."

"Oh."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"I think it would be great if you got the job, if that's what you wanted."

"But?"

"No but. Hungry?"

"Yeah. A little."

"Fruit and oatmeal?"

"Sounds good. I'm going to go shower."

When she was walking away he said, "Hey!"

"What?"

"Can I have a kiss first?"

Sara laughed, walked back to give him a kiss then walked back to take her shower.

They ate breakfast on the couch while they told each other about their night. "I got a lot of research done for my seminars."

"Good. First one's in March, right? You've gotta write down the dates for me if you want me to go with you so I can ask for the days off."

"All right. So what's your first case?"

"My favorite; abuse."

"Spouse or child?"

"Both. Wife was murdered, though. Little girl wasn't so lucky."

"You think she'd be luckier, dead?"

"I just know how hard it was when I was little. I saw my father get murdered. I got all the looks. The foster homes were mostly bad. I hated it."

"But look at you, now. You made it through and now you're a strong, independent woman."

"I guess."

"So, you're sure the husband's guilty?"

"He confessed. The little girl pointed to her private parts and said her daddy touched her there. His fingerprints were on the knife and he had cuts on his hand where his hand slipped. The little girl saw everything. She locked herself in her room and called 911 like her mother taught her to. You know, if I felt like I needed to teach my daughter how to call 911 in case she saw my husband hurting me, I would have left."

"Not all women are as strong as you, Sara. So, the husband goes to jail and the little girl goes to foster care."

"And the brother."

"Brother?"

"Yeah, she has a baby brother. He's the lucky one. He's only a baby. He won't even know that he never knew his parents or his sister."

"There's no family that will take them?"

"I don't know, Grissom. You told me not to get involved."

"When has that ever stopped you?"

"No, there's no family. Grandparents are all dead. The father has one brother; incarcerated. Life sentence. The mother was an only child."

"I knew you'd know."

"God, Grissom. What is this world coming to? Why are there good people out there that would make such great parents that can't have children, but there are abusers and drug addicts out there who just keep popping them out? There are so many women out there that could give those two children a good home. But they'll get split up. The little girl's been abused and she's five. No one wants five year olds, especially if they've been abused. But the baby boy will be gone before you know it. A family will take him in and not even care that he has a sister. I wish someone could just see reality. I wish someone could understand how important it is for those two children to grow up together."

"Someone…like you?"

"Me? What are you talking about?"

"What about you? You understand how important it is for those two children to stay together. You know what it's like to grow up like that little girl. You'd make a wonderful mother."

"Me? Grissom! Do you remember the Collins case where you made me stay with the little girl?"

"Brenda?"

"Yeah! I'm not good with kids."

"I seem to remember that Brenda loved you. At one point, she wouldn't let you go. And, I believe, there was a point when you wouldn't let her go either."

"It…was a case."

"Yeah. And the letters?"

"Letters? Wh-What letters?"

"Sara! You and she wrote to each other for a while. She mailed the letters to you at CSI. I saw the envelopes."

"You do see everything."

"Mmm. Why did you stop writing?"

"One day, I mailed a letter to her and I got it back. I called the group home were she was and they said she'd been placed in a foster home. They said they felt like she needed time to adjust. They asked me to stop writing."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago."

"That doesn't change the current situation."

"What situation, Grissom? There is no situation."

"Sara, all I'm trying to say is that…well…those children won't be put up for adoption until after the father stands trial. And even if it's not those children, maybe you could think about other children."

"Do you have any idea what you're talking about?"

"Yes."

"I don't think you do. You've been sitting here telling me that I should look into adopting these children. That I could be a good mother to them."

"Yes."

"Grissom, there is no I anymore."

"I realize that, Sara."

"You do?"

"Yes. But I can't make a decision for you. I know how strongly you feel about abused children and kids in foster care. All I was trying to say was that, maybe, if you wanted to, we could look into adopting. I don't know how you feel about wanting children, but I'm fifty years old, Sara. No offense, but you're 35. Isn't that the pre-determined cutoff age for bearing children? I'm not against trying, but…"

"Grissom! I can't believe we're talking about this. You? You actually want to have children?"

"I did when I was younger. Then, well, then my work became my child. And I guess I haven't thought about it until you…well…us. I don't think, no I know, I wouldn't be a good single father. But I think the two of us, together, could raise a nice family."

"Are you serious?"

"Don't I sound serious?"

"Yes. And it's kind of scary."

"Why?"

"Because I never would have guessed that you ever wanted children."

"Well, now you know. Listen, I'm happy just to be with you. I don't need to have children. You and I will be a family with or without a child. All I'm saying is that, if you're interested in having children, adopted or not, I'm okay with that."

"Wow. I'm…stunned. I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything. Let's go get some sleep. When you feel like talking about it, I'll listen."