Harry doesn't know where he is but he's holding a certificate and shaking hands with a smiling woman, while he stares down from the raised platform at a crowd of reporters and their flashing cameras.
"It's incredible what you're doing," the woman says, clearly the person running this show. "We're proud to have worked with you, Harry Riddle."
Ah, so this was Tom.
"It's a pleasure to be here," Harry says even though he doesn't know what's happening or who this person is. "Thank you for allowing me this opportunity. I know this can do great things for the community."
As soon as Harry gets the chance he slips away to find Tom and Gellert eating ice cream without a care in the world.
"Thanks for the heads up," Harry says pointedly and shoves the certificate at Tom before then ducking down to eat a large mouthful from Gellert's cone.
"Harry!" Gellert complains.
Tom scans the certificate. "You handled it well enough. You seemed accustomed to the crowd, have you done this before?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Harry grumbles and goes back for some more ice cream.
Gellert dodges but it was a feint and Harry munches down on Tom's instead. It gives him a brain freeze and soon he's squatting on the ground beside the table holding his head.
"That's what you deserve," Tom says placidly.
Harry wheezes but straightens up. "Oh, look at the hour, no time to be smug, we're going to be late visiting your friends!"
"Minions," Tom corrects.
Popping out through the Floo, Yaxley manor is less pure white than Malfoy manor (more of a deep blue) but otherwise isn't much different in terms of ostentatiousness.
Gellert goes first, then Harry stumbles out with Death in his pants pocket looking like a cursed doll, and finally Tom. Harry got lost once and now they don't trust him to do anything alone when it comes to the Floo.
To be fair, why was the Floo connected to a public pool in Sri Lanka? Harry is pretty sure it shouldn't have even reached that far.
Harry is looking around everywhere excitedly because he knows it embarrasses Tom but actually it's all pretty basic. He's definitely biased but he thinks his home is more incredible than the fancy but empty mansions like this with only portraits staring you down.
Portraits and some full-grown Purebloods staring him down, actually.
What looks to be five families have gathered, Harry has no idea who, and no children. Which is not weird, because Harry knows the boys have made allies with the adults (but he was still hoping for some socialisation).
Yaxley –the wife- greets them politely, and the others look super respectful, and Harry is already bored. He came to ensure they knew what they were getting into with the boys but then Gellert insisted that Harry needs to meet the normal, weak minions who aren't a threat so they can assist him if it becomes necessary.
So what could have been a short meeting in Diagon became a house visit.
"Harry, we'll be talking about the Wizengamot," Gellert says, already moving off as the party splits into their specialisations.
"I'll be discussing other known families in Europe and how to make contact with them," Tom explains, leading his party off too.
"Both of those things sound great," Harry begins with maybe too exaggerated enthusiasm. "But I'll duck into the bathroom first." Which is a lie, he's just trying to escape the business talk.
"I'll show you the way," says someone who is clearly the spitting image of Pansy Parkinson except gender swapped.
Harry pauses and that gives enough time for the rest to clear out of the room. "What do you want?" Because why would a Parkinson show Harry around a Yaxley manor? At the very least it would have been a house elf.
The Parkinson smiles thinly, a respectful and restrained expression. "You look like a Potter."
"I'm not like Tom and Gellert," Harry admits straight up. "I'm...the simple guardian basically. I don't do what they do. I don't want to get involved."
"How did you find them?" Parkinson demands now that he's assured of Harry's 'lower standing'.
"They found me," Harry muses, thinking back to two children appearing in his house. It's not technically correct because Harry started it but there's no way to explain it that doesn't come off as kidnapping children.
"What are they planning?"
Harry shrugs. "You're not people, you're tools. They're going to use you, and if you do well, you'll have so much more wealth and influence than you'll ever attain by yourselves."
"But who taught them?" Parkinson asks insistently. "They're often seen visiting the Unspeakable laboratories, but it only started recently. Who's their mentor?"
"This is Tom and Gellert," Harry tries to explain. "They've had opportunities but they've worked this hard themselves." He shakes his head and almost sticks his hands in his pockets but remembers Doll Death just in time. "I came to warn you all; decide if you want to step back now and be a normal ally because you can't half-ass this follower thing."
"Follower?" Parkinson scoffs.
Harry rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I know, you're all testing each other right now. Something about psychological warfare. Just think about it carefully because if you betray them, they don't forgive. While I've made them promise to not go too far…they're very creative and I can't stop them."
Harry leans back, rocking on his heels. "Or, I mean, I won't stop them. Because if you do hurt my boys, it's kind of a toss-up for which one of us three gets to you first." Harry offers a wave and calls over his shoulder as he leaves, "I'll be walking around the gardens, you all have fun though."
Parkinson considers things a bit longer before leaving, only noticing the silencing ward when he steps outside it. His head snaps back around but Harry is long gone and Parkinson realises the simple guardian did not once pull out his wand to cast.
Harry meets the adorably vicious seven-year-old Yaxley daughter and the tiny three-year-old son tottering around and has fun playing with them in the garden until Gellert comes to fetch him.
"I made friends," Harry says happily.
And Gellert decides to never again bring Harry back to Yaxley manor.