Bill the Pokemaniac

I did my due diligence in looking for someone on the property before entering through the front door. I knew there was nothing dangerous inside. I was just being polite.

I called out many Hello's towards different directions, then raised my voice to near shouts. I waited a bit to see if there were passers-by, and no one came. The windows on both the ground and 2nd floor were curtained and showed no signs of anyone inside. There was a side path that led towards the backyard, but had a gate so I couldn't check. Eventually, I knocked on the front door.

No response. I tried the doorknob and found it unlocked.

It opened into a reception area, like in those Resident Evil mansions. I tried a door to the left that led to a large area of the building and it opened into a large lab with a high ceiling. There were some large computers by one wall with screens showing lifesigns and technical data. Bingo. Complete with capsule-looking machines, it had to be the right place.

But where was Bill?

According to the game plot and lore, Bill should be in a weird Pokemon form in this room. Nothing was in this room, except... I heard something fall behind a stack of big boxes in one corner of the room. As a precaution, I brought out Squirtle and turned the corner to find a Pokemon cowering in the corner.

It was like a freakish mix of Chansey and Machop, 4 feet high, plump, with gray skin.

"Screeech!" It cowered at the sight of me and Squirtle, covering its face with its hands. It was visibly bruised from some previous abuse it had suffered.

"Woah!" I said, putting my hands up and giving Squirtle the sign to stand down. "It's okay, buddy. We're not going to hurt you."

We backed off and the unknown Pokemon eventually looked up at us.

"We're just looking for Bill, the Pokemon researcher," I said. "I believe this is his house. Wait….YOU'RE Bill, aren't you?"

The Pokemon(?) sprung up with glee at the mention of Bill's name, screeching and yelping with excitement. Its short paws were flipping with energy.

"Wait, are you trying to point at yourself? HAHAHAHA!"

The Pokemon looked at me with some reproach, but was definitely happy to see that I had understood what the situation was. "Bill" was not able to speak words, but understood everything I said, so after a long series of yes-or-no questions, I was able to help him into the machine and help him return to his original human body.

"YOU'VE SAVED MY LIFE!" Bill, the young Pokemon Genius came out of the machine, dressed in his lab coat, and gave me a big bear hug.

"I was stuck in this body for DAYS," he explained.

He accidentally fused his body during a Pokemon DNA experiment, and was unable to input, with his chubby paws, the codes necessary to bring himself back.

"I had to eat this Pokemon food in the corner and drink - well, let's not talk about what I had to drink."

"Didn't anyone drop by?" I asked.

"One spikey-haired boy did drop by," he said. "I was outside and I got his attention. But instead of trying to understand the situation, he attacked me with his Pokemon and tried to CATCH ME."

Oh, Gary.

"So you didn't show him all your cool Pokemon research and gadgets?"

"What? No! I ran into the house and luckily I think another person came by the road so the boy didn't follow me inside the house. He eventually left. I left the door open to see if someone would come along to help and YOU CAME, MY SAVIOR!"

So Gary lied about having met Bill, too. Typical.

He summoned some of his Pokemon, naturally Chansey and Machamp, to bring out some tea and refreshments. They couldn't help him code stuff because even though Pokemon are very intelligent, it required technical human intelligence to be able to code the necessary settings to bring Bill back to human form.

For the next 2 hours we sat in his lab and he was like a kid again, showing me all the cool gadgets and research he was currently involved in.

Bill showed me the item and Pokemon storage systems (both of which he created) and how they worked. Some fascinating technology, and even though I don't understand how exactly this is possible, at least I know how to use it.

"You have a trainer ID, don't you?"

I did. It was the card that anyone could make at any of the Pokemon League Gyms or Pokemon Centers. It had your name, photo, unique ID number, etc. Kinda like your driver's license. You didn't HAVE to have it, if you're just into catching Pokemon in your local area or something, but if you were going to battle at gyms or something, you needed it.

"All licensed trainers have access to the public item and Pokemon storage systems. The things with Pokeballs is that you have to make sure you take the Pokemon out frequently, for their physical, mental, and emotional well-being."

Public Pokemon storage systems send Pokeballs to local Pokemon Centers to let the Pokemon out and roam, but obviously, these services are expensive and do not guarantee the best attention to your Pokemon.

"Why isn't this technology used everywhere for storing everyday items?" I asked.

"Too expensive," Bill shared. "So far, we're limited to storing Pokemon and Pokemon-related items only, simply because that's where the funding comes from. It just takes far too much energy to be applied to anything else."

"Is there anything else that you can tell me about this fascinating technology?"

Bill's face showed that he was both impressed with my ability to follow this conversation, and also showed a bit of professional pride in his work.

"Come, come," he said, leading me to a super-shiny supercomputer. "This is my own private server."

It was, Bill explained, the most advanced and stable server of them all. He asked me for my trainer identification.

"There," he said, adding my ID into the computer. "You're registered as my guest now. You have free and unlimited access to my own server from any functional kiosk. In fact, if you store your Pokemon, they're welcome to stay in the open on my property here."

"Uhh…like.. In your backyard?" I asked.

"Follow me." Bill smiled devilishly.

His "backyard" was actually a huge biodome. I just couldn't see it from in front of the house because the height of the dome was covered by the front of the house, and we descended into the gigantic volume of space. It was at least one football field big, and was like a giant bird cage.

"It's more to keep wild Pokemon out," Bill explained. "I'm a Pokemon RESEARCHER, not a trainer, so trainers often send the rarer Pokemon here so they can be in the open, but still be safe. Oh, don't worry. I segregate them by temperaments so they get along with each other well."

It was truly impressive. There was no doubt that Pokemon here would be able to behave like they would in the wild, but still be under Bill's care. There was a cave for your Rock and Ground types, an artificial river and lake, the woods, etc.

"Actually," Bill said, "I breed Eevees professionally here. I find their multi-evolutionary strands fascinating, so I've been doing this for years, and -"

Suddenly there was an OH YEAH expression on Bill's face.

"You wouldn't happen to have run into a spikey-haired boy, would you? The one that I mentioned attacked me?" He asked. "One of MY Eevees made his way outside - sometimes they go off on their own to explore - and the boy STOLE him! The Eevee was never caught in a Pokeball before, so the boy's Pokeball must have just worked, but he was MY EEVEE regardless!"

Oh Gary, what have you done?