Title: 50 ways to Freak out Yakushi Kabuto: THE FANFICTION
Rating: T
Author: ZukoKrazy
Summary: Based off of 50 ways to piss off/ freak out Yakushi Kabuto. The Sound nin read the fic and decide to pull the pranks on poor Kabuto! 5 ways to freak Kabuto out a chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own 50 ways to piss off/freak out Yakushi Kabuto. I do not own Naruto. I do, however, own this fanfiction.
Dedicated to: HarvestMoonRacoon.
Special thanks to: HarvestMoonRacoon, Lyemi, DragonRiderShoya, Mewy, 2stupid, NoCareChakara, and Zidra.
A/N: HALDO EVERYONE! I am very VERY happy right now, so I decided to update! YAAY!
Thanks to all my reviewers!
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Tayuya, Kidoumaru, Jiroubou, Sakon, Ukon, and Kimimaro all huddled around the computer.
"What next Kidoumaru?" Jiroubou asked.
"I don't know...they are all so amazing. THAT ONE!" he cried out suddenly.
Tayuya looked at it at cackled evilly.
"Let's go," she said sinisterly.
THE FOURTH CHAPTER OF 50 WAYS TO FREAK OUT YAKUSHI KABUTO: THE FANFICTION BEGINS NOW!
Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after Kabuto. Separate Kabuto's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake Kabuto's potato and eat it. Explain to him, "He just didn't belong"
The Sound Five, Kabuto and Orochimaru were eating dinner one night when suddenly Tayuya left the table.
Coming back about five minutes later, Tayuya was hauling a large sack.
Sitting down, she reached in and pulled out a potato.
"This one is Kidoumaru," she showed the chibi face painted on the potato.
"This one is Kimimaro," she said, holding up another one.
"This is Sakon, this is Ukon, this is Jiroubou," for Jiroubou she held up an abnormally large potato, "this is Orochimaru-sama, and this one's Kabuto."
All of the potatoes were beautifully drawn, except Kabuto's. His was ugly.
Kabuto raised an eyebrow and continued eating his meal.
A few days later, Kabuto walked down to the kitchen to the smell of potatoes. Puzzled, Kabuto walked into the kitchen to see The Sound Five and Orochimaru huddled around the oven, which was cooking something, chanting "Bake! Bake! Bake!"
"Orochimaru-sama? What's going on?" Kabuto asked.
"DINNER YOU DAMNED BASTARDS!" Tayuya screamed out suddenly.
All the guys sat down as Tayuya served them all potatoes.
Puzzled, Kabuto asked, "Tayuya, what did you make this of? We're out of potatoes."
Tayuya looked sad and said, "I made it out of Kabuto. He just didn't belong."
Kabuto looked scared and walked to his lab.
Call Kabuto "Pinky."
Kabuto was pouring a deadly potion carefully into another one when suddenly a voice in his ear said seductively, "Hey there, Pinky."
Kabuto jumped and dropped both potions which started burning the floor beneath him.
Whipping around wildly, Kabuto shrieked as he came face-to-face with Sakon.
"Sakon! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Kabuto yelled, furious.
"Just saying hi, Pinky," was the reply.
Kabuto growled and set off to find a broom to clean up the mess.
"Goddammit Sakon," Kabuto muttered.
"How 'ya doin', Pinky?" Jiroubou asked, passing him in the hall.
Kabuto growled and kept walking.
"PINKY!" Tayuya yelled from the other end of the hall, waving happily.
Kabuto twitched and ran after the poor girl.
"AAHHHH! STOP! I'M TUCKLISH THERE! CUT IT OUT DAMMIT!" Tayuya screamed as Kabuto tickled her arms.
"Kabuto?" someone said from above the two.
"Kimimaro!" Tayuya screamed with glee, glomping the silver-haired boy.
"Uh...hi, Tayuya," Kimimaro said.
"Make Pinky stop tickling me!" she cried, hiding behind Kimimaro.
"Pinky?" Kimimaro asked, clearly confused.
"PINKY!" Tayuya screamed, pointing at Kabuto.
"..."
Kimimaro sweat dropped and led Tayuya to a quiet room where she sat for a couple hours trying to regain her sanity.
During the night, position yourself over his head while he sleeps. Then, sometime, preferably a few hours before dawn, loudly say, "Kabuto, why do we have five toes instead of four?"
At about two-thirty A.M, Kidoumaru hung on the ceiling above where Kabuto slept.
Positioning himself so his mouth was right next to Kabuto's ear, Kidoumaru screamed out, "Hey, Pinky, how come we have five toes instead of four?"
Kabuto screamed and pushed Kidoumaru, who was laughing like a maniac, over the edge of the bed.
Kimimaro was walking downstairs to get a glass of milk when a cry sounded from the other side of the base.
"KIDOUMARUUUUUUUUU!" it was Kabuto.
Kimimaro dropped his glass onto the floor and ran.
"Kabuto-sensei!" Kimimaro cried out. "Don't kill him!"
Insist on calling Sakon and Ukon "Thing 1" and "Thing 2".
"Kabuto! Come here, quick! Kabutooooooooo!" Jiroubou screamed at the top of his lungs.
"What! What is it!" Kabuto cried, skidding around the corner.
"LOOK! THING 1 AND THING 2!" Jiroubou screamed, laughing.
Sakon and Ukon both glared at the fat man.
"Jiroubou..." they started in unison, growling.
The man paled and shoved Kabuto in front of him.
"TAYUYA! GET YOUR BOYFRIENDS THING 1 AND THING 2 TO NOT HURT ME!" Jiroubou screamed as they pushed Kabuto out of the way.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU FAT BASTARD!" Tayuya screamed at the large man.
"Uh...heh heh," Jiroubou said.
"JIROUBOU I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Sakon, Ukon, and Tayuya all screamed at once.
Jiroubou screamed and ran for it.
A sweat drop appeared on the back of Kabuto's head.
Wait until Kabuto is almost finished eating a bran muffin and say, "Boy. You're eating that? Hope it tastes better then it felt. I tried sitting on it, but the bran was too rough"
Kabuto flopped into a chair for breakfast.
Orochimaru slid over to him and said, "What's wrong, Kabuto?"
Kabuto looked at his master with tiredness in his eyes and black bags under his eyes.
"N-Nothing Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto stuttered, yawning.
He hadn't been able to get back to sleep after Kidoumaru had woken him up at two A.M.
Sasuke walked into the room and Orochimaru pushed Kabuto out of his chair.
"Sasuke-kun! Over here!" Orochimaru called.
Grumbling, Sasuke sat next to the perverted old man.
Kabuto sighed and grabbed a bran muffin. The Sound Five looked at each other with glee as Kabuto started eating it.
Five minutes later, Kabuto was almost done when Tayuya suddenly burst out, "Boy. You're eating that? Hope it tastes better then it felt. I tried sitting on it, but the bran was too rough."
Kabuto chocked on the muffin while Jiroubou, Kimimaro, Thing 1, Thing 2, and Kidoumaru all agreed.
"We threw it around and tried stabbing it with some rusty kunai we found in the bathroom, but it just wouldn't break," Kidoumaru shrugged.
Kabuto fainted and the Sound Five cried with laughter.
They wiped their tears and picked him up, placing Kabuto on his bed.
Kidoumaru, Kimimaro, Jiroubou, Thing 1 and Thing 2 all walked out the door, laughing and joking.
Tayuya's flute was snagged on Kabuto's sheet. She growled and bent closer to the snare.
Kabuto whimpered and Tayuya froze. Kabuto reached up in his sleep and grabbed the girl, pulling her down next to him.
Kabuto buried his face into the red hair and Tayuya turned as red as her hair.
He pulled her small figure into him Tayuya blushed furiously.
She shut her eyes tightly and Kabuto grinned, still feigning sleep.
Moving slightly, Kabuto whispered seductively into her hair, "Tayuya..."
Tayuya shivered and Kabuto knew he had her.
"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked quietly.
Instantly Tayuya dropped her gaze to the floor and mumbled something incoherent.
Kabuto pulled her into him and whispered into her ear, "You know these pranks hurt me, don't you?"
Tayuya shivered and Kabuto licked her ear lobe gently.
"Kabuto..." she whimpered.
"Tayuya," he growled huskily.
Sliding his hands along her stomach, Kabuto grinned as Tayuya shivered and moaned softly.
"Kabuto! Tayuya!" a voice cried out.
Kabuto looked up with an annoyed expression but paled when he saw the figure standing in the doorway.
The devil. It was the devil!
"Kimimaro!" Tayuya gasped out.
...Or it could just be Kimimaro.
"What are you doing!" Kimimaro cried, pulling Tayuya away from Kabuto.
Looking away, Kabuto mumbled something about bran muffins.
Shaking his head at the white-haired man, Kimimaro grabbed Tayuya's hand and strode out of the room.
Kabuto would pay. Kabuto would pay dearly.
Said man sighed and laid back down.
Why him?
A war cry sounded from the other end of the base and Kabuto groaned. Kimimaro had told Sakon.
Great. Just fuckin' great. Kabuto thought.
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A/N: Not my best. It's 1:10 A.M. And I just had to update. Review please!
-ZK