Title: 50 ways to Freak out Yakushi Kabuto: THE FANFICTION
Rating: T
Author: ZukoKrazy
Summary: Based off of 50 ways to piss off/ freak out Yakushi Kabuto. The Sound nin read the fic and decide to pull the pranks on poor Kabuto! 5 ways to freak Kabuto out a chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own 50 ways to piss off/freak out Yakushi Kabuto. I do not own Naruto. I do, however, own this fanfiction.
Dedicated to: HarvestMoonRacoon and everyone who is fighting, have died of, or have survived cancer.
Special thanks to: Kimimaro-sama, SoundCloud, NoCareChakara, Lyemi, Miss Ninja Kimi, whatthehellwasithinkin, demon-ice-mirror, Eat, LaZyEnErGeTiC, firedragonknight, xpakux, Ickiakki, EKI-ember, Ribbonsandbows, conquerors star, rosefox89, A True Radical Dreamer, and Mel Fusinaw.
A/N: Hey everybody, I'm back! It was delightful to come back to like 20 reviews. Suggested reading: Pay The Piper: A rock 'N' Roll Fairy Tale by Jane Yolen and Adam Stemple. Great book, that is.
Anyways, yes, I had a wonderful vacation and I'm glad to be back on the computer! But enough of slabs of my boring life, let's get on with the tortu- I mean fanfiction! Oh, check out the author's note at the bottom for a special announcement and poll.
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The Sound Five and the Sound Trio, all in all making eight prankster Sound Ninja ready to annoy Kabuto to no end, all huddled around, once again, Kidoumaru's 20-year-old computer.
"That one," Tayuya pointed.
"No. That one," Sakon argued. All the Sound Nin froze at his bold argument and stared at the soon-to-be-dead boy, waiting for the explosion sure to come.
"NO! THAT ONE, YOU BASTARD!" Tayuya yelled at the top of her lungs.
Sakon threw down a smoke bomb, turned around and woke up Ukon, and fell asleep himself, laughing silently as he knew his twin would get the body.
Tayuya growled and punched Ukon clear across the room. What they didn't know, however, was that Haruno Sakura was doing the exact same thing to Uzumaki Naruto many miles away in Konoha.
As Tayuya walked slowly to the now-freshly-awake boy, shouting out swears, the other six cowered in fear.
"I…I think we should just do that one," Jiroubou said, his voice cracking. He pointed at Tayuya's suggestion and the others quickly nodded and ran off to go set up.
Meanwhile, Tayuya was tying up Ukon and Sakon in a chair.
She left for a couple minutes but soon came back with a simple match and…lighter fluid. Sakon and Ukon both screamed like little girls while Tayuya recorded all of this on a camera. After about 10 minutes of this, Tayuya doubled over in laughter while Sakon and Ukon growled and kicked the girl rolling around on the ground.
Ok, back from the world of randomness (a really fun place) to where the others were setting up the prank with glee…
Kabuto is in for it today.
THE SEVENTH CHAPTER OF 50 WAYS TO FREAK OUT YAKUSHI KABUTO:THE FANFICTION BEGINS NOW!
32. Fill his shoes with whipped cream.
Kabuto had just finished washing off his face and clearing his mind of the disturbing images that kept on popping into his head when he heard his master calling.
"KABUTO! SASUKE NEEDS FLUFFIER PILLOWS! GO OUT AND BUY SEVENTEEN!" the snake man yelled.
Kabuto sighed and slipped his shirt back on. "Orochimaru-sama, I'll need money," he said tiredly.
"Use your own," came the gruff reply.
Kabuto sighed again and walked to the door, slipping on his shoes. Hmmm…. soft…. Kabuto continued on his walk but stopped short when he noticed the white foamy stuff oozing out of his sandals.
Kabuto cried out and threw his shoes off. "Whipped cream!" he breathed in relief.
"WHIPPED CREAM!" he cried out in anger, stalking back towards the kitchen. "JIROUBOU!"
"What?" came the reply from the study.
"WHAT WAS WHIPPED CREAM DOING IN! MY! SHOES!" Kabuto spat out the last three words.
Jiroubou shrugged, sighed, and turned back to Pride and Prejudice.
Kabuto growled, and Jiroubou looked up and sighed at him.
Kabuto let out a yell of an animal and ran to the tape player, ripped out the tape, and broke it in half. After he did this, he stomped on it, burned it, ate a part of it, and finally threw it out the window, breathing heavily.
Jiroubou shrugged, got up from the couch, walked over to the closet and threw open the door.
Kabuto's mouth fell onto the floor. Millions. Of. Copies. Of. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!
Kabuto walked out of the room in a daze, slipped on his whipped cream shoes, and walked away as Jiroubou popped in the tape and settled down once more, sighing.
33. When he shaves his face and is millimeters from cutting himself, scream.
Kin, Dosu, and Zaku all positioned themselves on the ceiling, using their chakra to hold themselves up as Kabuto entered the bathroom.
Kabuto threw off his shirt as Kin blushed and Dosu and Zaku glared at the white haired man for being so incredibly handsome.
He took out his shaving cream, which was incidentally replaced with whipped cream, and his razor.
As he squirted the "shaving cream" onto his face, Kabuto hummed Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson.
When his razor was millimeters away from his face, Kin, Zaku, and Dosu all screamed as loud as they could, and with a cackle disappeared to watch the performance on Kidoumaru's computer.
They all sat around the tiny screen and laughed uproariously as Kabuto's blood poured everywhere.
34. Touch the bandage continually for the rest of the day.
Kabuto sat at the kitchen table, eating his bologna sandwich when Tayuya appeared right beside him.
"Tayuya, what do you want?" Kabuto asked.
Tayuya reached out and touch the bandage covering half his face. Kabuto backed up slightly as the girl kept poking it.
Suddenly, who would appear but Spiderman? Wait, I'm getting something…I'm sorry; we meant to actually say KIDOUMARU!
Kidoumaru strode up to Kabuto and promptly poked his bandage.
Pretty soon, the eight Sound Ninja were gathered around Kabuto, poking his bandage and admiring its softness.
Kabuto screamed and ran away from the surging crowd.
35. Stick your hand in a power box and scream "CHIDORI!" as you pass out.
"Kabuto-sensei!" Kimimaro called out. "Come on! Sakon wanted to show you something!"
Kabuto grumbled, but finished snapping his protective gear in place.
He was completely surrounded by bubble wrap. "Ready," he mumbled, following the teenager to the basement, where all the Sound Ninja were dancing on tabletops. Who knew Dosu could pole dance so well?
As Kabuto entered the drafty room, the ninja immediately sat down as Sakon stood in the front next to the power box.
As soon as everyone was comfortable, Sakon opened the power box, letting the "audience" look at all the cables inside.
Sakon stuck his hand into the power box. As his body jolted about, his hair standing on end, strangely resembling Kakashi, he bellowed, "CHIDORI!" and passed out.
Kabuto stared while the others stood up, clapping and cheering. Was Jiroubou actually crying?
Two paramedics walked in with a stretcher as the crowd got silent. As Sakon was wheeled out, he woke up and was asked, "How did you do it?"
He smiled weakly and said, "A magician never reveals his secrets."
Kabuto just stared. Was he the only sane one here?
36. Stand on the kitchen table when the entire group is there, and serenade them with excerpts from Kabuto's diary.
Dinnertime at the Sound village. Usually it was a fairly normal affair, but today's was…different.
Sakon sat with bandages covering most of his body, grinning like an idiot. Kimimaro, Jiroubou, Kidoumaru, Kin, Dosu, Zaku, Tayuya, Kabuto, Sasuke, and Orochimaru all sat around the table, eating silently.
Suddenly, Tayuya jumped onto the table, holding a small, worn book.
"This is straight from the Life and Times of Yakushi Kabuto," she said. Kabuto's eyes widened and then narrowed as he discovered himself bound and gagged.
"Dear Diary,
Today Orochimaru-sama wanted me in his room. I've never been in there before. Does anyone else know that Orochimaru-sama loves bunnies? And pink? Anyways, he told me to clean his room while he went and sparred with Sasuke. You'll never guess what I found. A man-thong. Yup, I've always had my suspicions before, but this proves it. Orochimaru-sama is GAY.
-Kabuto," Tayuya read aloud. Orochimaru blushed crimson while Sasuke moved away from the Gaylord.
"Dear Diary,
I rather dislike ginger ale. It's so…gross. Root Beer has much more taste to it. Do you know what else I found in Orochimaru's room? Tsunade's phone number. I'm going to go call her now…I hope she's single.
-Kabuto," Tayuya choked out, laughing so hard.
"Hey!" Orochimaru cried out. "That's where that phone number went! I thought I lost it…"
All the Sound Nin stared.
"What? I'm a bi!" he cried out.
Kabuto fainted while Sakon and Ukon barfed. Kin, Dosu, and Zaku looked at each other and quickly excused themselves.
Kimimaro, Kidoumaru, Jiroubou, and Tayuya all disappeared before they exploded of laughter.
Orochimaru looked at Sasuke, who concentrated on his ramen.
Do not think about Naruto like that, Sasuke scolded himself before excusing himself to go take a cool shower.
Orochimaru shrugged and went to go join him.
Kabuto struggled upright and grabbed his diary with his feet.
Mine, he thought.
Sakon saw this and took the diary away.
"Mine," he said aloud, walking away.
Kabuto sighed and started on the ropes bounding him. Hopefully tomorrow will be better…he thought in hope.
Little did he know that the worse was still to come…
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A/N: -sighs- I got chapter seven out of the way. A terrible chapter, in my opinion.
Ok, here's the important announcement.
If HarvestMoonRacoon allows it, should I do another of these stories? Like, a fanfiction version of a 30 ways? If so, I would maybe do Iruka, but you guys can vote on who you want it to be. Garden of Everything already asked me if she could use my format to do Neji, so he's out of the question. Still, there are many others. When the poll comes in, I will ask HarvestMoonRacoon if I can do another. Sound good? Now, REVIEW!
I wonder if anyone actually reads these…
-ZK