Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, or the concept of taboo. I just find it really fascinating, and was bored. A slight AU, takes place after Whisper to a Scream, as though Paige never told Ms. Suave about Ellie.

Chapter 9

Ellie was still fuming as she sat back down at the kitchen table, and consequently her chow mein was at the receiving end of a particularly nasty stab with a stainless steel knife. The overhead lamp reflected off the knife, and Ellie ceased her rage against the chow mein. The shining of the knife caught her attention, and even when she turned away and faced the sink, the image of the shining blade caught in her mind's eye.

The knife still in Ellie's hand had chow mein juice on it, so she pulled a clean one out of the drawer next to the sink. Rolling up her left sleeve, Ellie spent a good fifteen seconds trying to find space, finally settling on a slice of pale, untouched skin halfway up her upper arm. Pressing the knife to her skin, Ellie thought about how mad Paige made her, and about how much she wanted her. Why couldn't she mind her own damn business? Ellie began moving the blade along her fle-

"Ellie, stop."

The knife clattered as it fell into the sink. Ellie spun around. Paige Michaelchuck was standing in her kitchen. Ellie instinctively looked into the living room, and was relieved to see her mother still fast asleep. Ellie glanced back at Paige, and saw that the blonde had followed Ellie's gaze and was now staring into the half-lit living room. Paige looked back at Ellie, concern written all over her face.

"Ellie, is that… your mo-"

"How the hell did you get inside?" Ellie really didn't care, but was desperate to make Paige forget what she had seen in the living room.

"You didn't close the door all the way. My foot was in the jam." Paige glanced again into the living room, then back at Ellie. "I need to talk to you."

It was a mark of how frantic Ellie was to get Paige out of her house that she agreed. "Only, outside. It's really hot in here."

Paige nodded immediately, and led the way back out the front door, Ellie following behind. The knife lay forgotten in the sink.

"Is your mom all right?" Paige asked, as she walked a couple of feet away from the steps leading up to Ellie's front door.

"What did you want to tell me?" Ellie asked as she sat down on the concrete steps, wanting to get this over with. Paige sat down next to her on her left side, her bare arm brushing up against Ellie's. Realizing she still had her sleeve rolled up, Ellie shoved it back down forcefully, waiting for Paige to respond.

"Well," Paige said tentatively, and Ellie wanted to slap her, "I was sitting at home, and I kept thinking… about… you. And… your things. And… how you didn't believe that I was so worried about you. And then, I started thinking about i why /i I'm so worried about you. And then I was thinking about Dylan, and about grapes and lipgloss and-"

"You were thinking, I get it. And the point of all this thinking was…?"

"Ellie, I l-" Paige let out a huge sigh and looked away from Ellie, her lips half-forming words but no sound coming out. "Ellie, I… I think I… I think I like you."

Ellie was confused. "Well, I can see the dilemma in a cheerleader wanting to be friends with someone like me, but-"

"Ellie, that's not what I meant. I- I like you." Ellie's heart flew up to her throat and tingling excitement flooded her body for a couple seconds, then as suddenly all of her organs seemed to plummet down into her feet. Cold anger filled her stomach. She could feel Paige's eyes on her, but she couldn't bear to return the gaze. Instead, she stood up and walked several feet down the concrete path, away from her house and the girl of her dreams.

"That's really funny Paige, you almost got me," Ellie spat out, her insides seething with rage. She turned around and yelled to the neighborhood: "Hazel! Terri! You can come out now! Sorry, but your little joke didn't work!" She turned back to Paige. "How long have you been planning this? A couple weeks? A month, even? Well, I'm really flattered that humiliating me was worth that much of your time, but sorry, didn't work."

Paige looked shocked. "It's… I'm not.. This isn't a joke."

"You can stop with the act, Paige, I know what's up. The panicky phone call was a nice touch, might I add, but you'll have to agree you could have been a little more subtle."

"Ellie, I'm not kidding around! I really do-"

Ellie was still seething, and not listening to what the blonde was saying. "Shall we go through a recap of the past week's events? You find me in the bathroom once, promise not to tell. This past Tuesday, you find me again, and still promise not to tell. Friday, you decide to do cutting for your MI assignment, and suddenly pretend to start caring about me. Then today you make me feel like complete and utter shit in class, then call me, asking if I'm okay, then show up at my fucking house and profess your undying love to me. I think you can understand why I'm finding it very hard to take you seriously."

"Well, I am serious, okay?" Paige was practically yelling in frustration. "I'm just as confused as you are about all of this, but I know what I know, and I know that I like you."

"You like me?" Ellie asked back, walking back towards Paige, matching the blonde in tone and volume, "Fine then, if you like me so much, prove it."

Without any warning, Paige stood up from the steps and closed the remaining distance between her and Ellie, pulling the redhead into her arms and kissing her, hard, on the lips.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, then Paige tried to open Ellie's mouth with her tongue. This seemed to snap Ellie back into her normal mental state, and she pushed Paige away from her. "Fuck you." Ellie snarled, walking past Paige and back into the house, closing and locking the door behind her.