"You don't keep library books, Gellert," Harry argues. "You know this, you can only borrow."

The blond has stuffed books under the couch cushion and is sitting on it like that would hide the two dozen books they need to return by today.

"We have to go to the meeting with the Department of Education," Gellert tries.

"We can do both."

"But they're in entirely different directions."

"We can use the floo," Harry deadpans. "Or apparate. Or, you know, any of the many instantaneous transportation methods available to wizards like us."

"These are from the Library of Alexandria, they have spells to keep them from being copied and I haven't finished them," Gellert whines.

"Good news then, you have-" Harry looks at his non-existent watch "-twenty minutes until we have to drop them off, get reading."

Gellert jumps off the couch, flips off the cushion and shoves two of the books at a watching Tom. "Quick, read these!" Gellert shoves two others at Credence and then hurls one at Death who's standing too far away to just pass the books over.

Death is also a tiny duck sitting on his rock throne so the duck does not catch the book.

Tom fumbles the books at first and then raises an eyebrow. "When did you go to the Library of Alexandria and why did you not take me?"

"I didn't go, the books were through favours a while back," Gellert dismisses.

They drop off the books (still unread) at the local library with a nice staff member, who are supposed to then transport it back to Greece, but Harry asks very nicely and gets the man to mess around with the dates in the filing system.

"Just one more week," the man tsks but he's smiling.

"Thank you," Harry says gratefully. "Gellert, say thanks."

"Thank you," Gellert says sweetly as he takes the stack of books back.

They get to the Department of Education and Harry has a short chat to the receptionist, and they laugh about the weather or something and suddenly she's ushering them straight through to the office of the head of department, an older woman who looks like the stern type but she has a desk full of cute stationary.

Five minutes later, Harry is presenting the paperwork one by one, the places to sign labelled by sticky notes and he's laughing with the woman as she flips through carelessly, signing away.

"And then he gives me the masters certificate," Harry is saying, swapping out stapled papers for her to sign. "And I'm like; no, Tom, you need your OWLS and NEWTS too because it's a very important test. So now we've come to bother you about it, honestly this is so much paperwork, I'm so sorry."

"No, no, I understand," she chuckles, flipping a few more pages and signing again. "This whole building is made of paperwork. I'm used to it; go through quills like nothing else."

"Oh, those self-inking quills at Flourish and Blotts?" Harry begins, leaning in. "On sale right now, forty percent off."

The woman gasps, looking up at him. "No way."

"I bought like twenty. I don't even use quills anymore," Harry admits, subtly putting a new file down.

"Did it just start today?" she asks, sliding over the other one she finished. "Gosh, how did I miss that?"

"Today is the last day. Be careful though, because I also got suckered into buying in a tiny niffler tray that holds all your loose paperclips and such," Harry sighs, putting a hand to his chest. "It has a little pouch, it's so cute."

"I have this," she complains, picking up a tiny metal bucket.

"I mean it is office supplies, you get tax back," Harry says coaxingly.

"That's true!"

"Just get a new everything – something, something, new environment good for mental health, you know how it is," Harry jokes. "Actually, lets speed this up, I want to get another niffler downstairs for my keys too."

Harry drops the last two forms off on the table, the other six stacked on Gellert's lap.

The department head laughs and does the last two thinner ones quickly. "Leave it with me, I'll get it filed and we'll send you a letter in a week or so with any last details. Contact my assistant if you need anything, yeah?"

"Perfect!" Harry says happily, helping Gellert shift the forms back onto the desk. "Thank you so much, you've been really helpful."

"Don't worry about it, it's my job," she says happily. "You have a lovely day now, boys."

"Thank you." Harry gestures at the three boys.

They all chirp out cute thanks and goodbyes and the four of them are in and out of the office in under fifteen minutes.

Harry waves happily to the receptionist too as they pass.

"What just happened?" Gellert blurts out.

"You didn't even threaten her or…" Tom looks back over his shoulder at the hallway, confused. "Where were the favours and the…what?"

Credence blinks. "Wow, am I the most well adjusted one right now?"

"This is why you need socialisation," Harry explains as they step into the elevator at the end of the hall. "Some people are normal, you know, it's not always subtle aggression and doublespeak." He frowns at them. "You have been making friends at school, haven't you?"

"Yes, you don't need to keep asking-"

"Of course, like everyone in the dorm-"

"A few here or there-"

Harry clearly doesn't believe them. "Real friends, not 'I need a favour'."

"Hmm-"

"I could…you know, if I tried-"

"I have lunch with a cat sometimes," Credence says hopefully.

Harry pets Credence on the head as they step out of the elevator into the atrium and more people file past to take the lift back down. "I'm proud of you."

"It's Schrodinger the inferi kitten," Tom deadpans. "It doesn't count."

Harry pauses, pats his pockets because Tom reminded him of something. "Oh shit, where did I put Death?" Harry looks around frantically and then starts rapidly pushing the down button to call another elevator. "Everyone spread out, I'm going back down the elevator."

"Did you have it when we left the library?" Gellert asks, taking out the elder wand because it can faintly sense Death if Gellert concentrates.

"I don't even remember," Harry says, voice raising in pitch as he starts to panic. If Death is somewhere watching someone die then Harry is going to feel so bad.

"Wait, look," Tom says and dives into Harry's mind as soon as they make eye contact. "It left when we passed the ice cream shop."

"It can't even eat ice cream!" Harry cries in outrage, ushering the kids out ahead of him as he speed walks across the atrium to the floos.

Harry stops an ice cream maker from exploding into shrapnel, saves a kid from choking and retrieves his tiny black demon moth from the window.

.

A/N: I'm stalling because I need to write a magical science chapter next...