Author's Note - Sorry it took a while to write this…stuff happened. I planned on having this done last night, but nooo…anyways. Yeah, so I'm likin' the reviews I'm getting, and at this rate, who knows…? I MAY EVEN MAKE MORE. Heh heh heh. Anyways! Enough of this…more important things await you!

Oh, and another thing…yeah, I'm gonna make this even longer, now that I'm on a roll. It might even be a three-shot one-shot… :O

Disclaimer - Once again, I don't own Naruto, so leave me alone, bodaggit. weeps

Rated...!
T! For an old lady constantly hitting on Kakashi in strange, disturbing ways, language, emo-ness (for example, sasuke), et cetera.

Chronic Tardiness, You Say?
Part Two

"…Kisame, I…" Itachi began, almost stuttering.

"Itachi…"

"Kisame…!"

"Oh, Itachi!"

"…Wait, what the duck!"

The two snapped out of it, wondering what had brought about the unexplainable romantic twist.

"Man, this bites…" Kisame began, sighing. He took another sip of his coffee, and waited a full five minutes before continuing, simply watching the old lady beat the stuffing out of the elite ninja, Kakashi. (Yeah, she's still at it.)

"…Oh, right. This really bites, because…I mean…dang it, that cane was not meant to be used in…oh, dear lord…" Kisame turned away from the window, a hint of a blush appearing on his face. Itachi's curiosity was piqued, and he too looked out the window…only to sweat visibly and turn away swiftly, gulping.

"…I don't even remember what I was going to say, anymore."

"You were saying something about how "this bites"…maybe you were talking about a shark, or something? I mean, they bite and stuff…"

Kisame simply stared at Itachi.

"Dude, I am a shark."

"I don't believe you, man." Was Itachi's swift, curt response. The two glared at each other.

"I'm a freakin' shark, bro, believe it." Kisame growled, showing off his teeth. Itachi mock-yawned, and began to hum.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Itachi smirked, apparently completely unaware that he had just lose the argument in favor of Kisame by his own comeback.

"A flippin' emo, that's what!" Kisame growled back, and Itachi gasped in a very womanly manner.

"You better take that back!"

"Or else what?"

"I'll cut myself, that's what!" Itachi shouted back, as the others in the starbucks ignored the two (just as they had done in the previous installment, though the two called the most attention to themselves.)

"WHAT THE…SEE, YOU ARE AN EMO!"

(Author's Note: Itachi rocks, I'm just adding this stuff in for comical…comical, uh…erm…dammit, it's my fic.)

"WAITER! GET ME A GOD DAMN SPOON!" Itachi shouted, spit coming out of his mouth.

"Ewww, that's nasty…" Kisame said, scrunching up his face.

"SHUT UP, SHARK-BOY! I'M BEATIFUL! I DON'T CARE WHAT THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS!"

"Why are we yelling at each other!"

"I DUNNO, YOU GOD DAMN DOLPHIN!"

"I'M A SHARK, DAMMIT!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

"YES I…Why the freakin' beans are we still yelling?"

"I'LL CUT MYSELF, I WILL! AND…AND THEN I'LL CUT YOU!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, DOOFUS!"

"SHUT UP, YOU FRIGGIN' SHARK!"

- Meanwhile, Outside the peaceful realm of star bucks… -

"Please, Ma'am, All I…"

Finally, after what seemed to have been nearly an hour of non-stop beating by an old lady with a cane, she stopped, glaring down at him.

"…All I wanted was…to h-help you cross t-the street…" He wheezed, finding it hard to speak.

The old woman grinned. "You don't know who I am, do you!"

Suddenly, the starbucks across the street exploded violently, leaving no chance whatsoever of survivors. A moment after that, two lone survivors walked out of the debris, unscathed. No one even seemed to have noticed the explosion, due to the fanfic's lack of anything that made perfect sense.

"Kisame, I don't know why we were arguing just a moment ago, but that explosion certainly set my head back on straight. We forgot our original purpose!"

"Yes, of course!" Kisame shouted, strangling his comrade in excitement.

Itachi glared at him menacingly, and he let go, pouting like a little kid.

"To…KIDNAP…HERRR!" Itachi yelled dramatically (and also very, very OOC, such as the way he's been acting this whole fic), struck a pose, and pointed at the old lady, his teeth ping-ing just like Gai-Sensei. Kisame struck a similar pose, though was insignificant compared to Itachi's shining figure.

Kakashi groaned, managing to turn his head slightly to see who was causing all the ruckus…and gasped.

"What the…Why are you two here? What business does Akatsuki have with this woman!"

"…Akatsuki? Whatever do you mean…? I have heard of no such organization, nor am I affiliated with them." Was Itachi's response, though he had somehow managed to disguise himself in a woman's dress and a false mustache in the time it had taken Kakashi to finish his counts fingers two sentences.

Kisame chuckled, standing next to Itachi. He was dressed in a rather swell tuxedo, wearing a false hairpiece. "Why, Marlene, do you have any idea what this poor, deluded soul is blathering on about, my dear?"

Itachi giggled in a very womanish manner (he was good at that), blushing.

"Oh, why, of course not, my wonderful husband! Why would I associate myself with such people?" She…dammit, he…continued chuckling.

The old lady wasn't fooled. She growled, pointing a finger at the two of them.

"You two call those disguises!"

Dammit, she's on to us! Kisame thought, sweat beginning to form on his brow.

Hmmm, this dress really compliments my eyes…yes. God, I am hot as a female. Itachi thought, completely ignorant to the situation surrounding him.

Kakashi, However, simply stared at the two.

"What the…where did…who are you people?" Kakashi asked, dumbfounded. The old lady stared at him, mouth agape in awe. This jounin, this elite ninja, who had a freakin' sharingan eye, to boot, didn't see through their disguises!

"You BAKA! You call yourself a ninja!" The old woman yelled, but Kakashi seemed to be too busy staring, eye wide, at Itachi's female disguise (complete with false mustache).

"Oh…sweet kami…How I have dreamt of such a beautiful presence to grace my pleasure-less life!" Kakashi shouted dramatically, falling to the ground, weeping tears of happiness.

"…Dammit Itachi, this is degrading." Kisame said, glaring at the man in the dirt before them.

"I dunno Kisame, don't you think…I mean, I kind of enjoy…"

Kisame stared incredulously at his partner.

"…I mean, yeah, this is stupid."

The two ripped off their disguises, revealing, once again, their akatsuki outfits underneath. Kakashi gasped, jumping to his feet, panting.

"…How could you trick me like that...?"

Itachi chuckled darkly, which was followed by a fit of pure, unadulterated evil laughter.

"Bwahahahaha! My elite concealment skills have once again proven too much for my competition to handle! Now I, Uchiha Itachi, Akatsuki elite and master of the sh-sharingun…spareisgone…"

Kisame sighed, fighting back the urge to slap his forehead.

"…Sharingan…" He muttered.

"…SHARINGAN eye! Yeah, that's what I'm master of."

Kakashi growled, glaring the two down, who simply smiled idiotically in return.

"Why do you want the old lady, anyways? HUH? ANSWER ME, IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!"

Itachi lept up into the air, squeeling, apparently high on evil.

"BECAUSE…"

He paused for a moment in mid-air, a blank expression painted upon his face. He looked to his shark-like comrade for some help.

"What was it again, dolphin-man?"

"…Because…"

Kakashi held his breath…

"…Because…?"

Itachi grinned. "Because…" Though he didn't know the reason himself.

Kisame grinned as well, chuckling in a very evil manner. "Because this woman is…!"

TO BE CONCLUDED IN PART THREE OF THE THREE-SHOT ONE-SHOT WHICH DOESN'T REALLY MAKE THE STORY QUALIFIED TO BE A ONE-SHOT ANYMORE BUT I'M CALLING IT THAT ANYWAYS! YAHHH!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

grins

I'm so dang evil…I love cliffhangers, even if they're stupid. So anyways, this turned out to be more than just a one-shot, so…
Stayed tuned for part three:O