It had been nearly two years since Olivia had felt Alex's body below hers, and every touch sent nerve endings firing. Olivia moved her hands underneath Alex's sweater, sliding her palms up Alex's waist to cup soft breasts through Alex's silky bra. She let her thumbs brush against the outline of nipples, felt them harden under her gentle touch.
Below her, Alex had thrown her head back, exposing the curve of her neck. Olivia took advantage of the easy access and ran her tongue down Alex's neck, kissing her way down. Alex's hips bucked as Olivia applied gentle pressure to her breasts.
"Clothes...off. Please, Liv?" Alex bit out, eagerly anticipating Olivia's hands elsewhere. Her lover complied, working the sweater over her head and hanging it on the back of a chair. She was less careful with the bra, unsnapping it quickly and throwing it to the floor. Olivia stared for a moment at Alex's breasts, bigger than she remembered, nipples just a little darker, before attacking them, pulling one nipple into her mouth, biting gently while working at the other with her fingers. Alex slid her hands down Olivia's sides to the hem of her shirt, pulling Olivia's t-shirt from her waistband and working at the button on Olivia's pants. Just as Olivia switched to the other breast, Alex pulled the zipper down and smoothed two fingers over Olivia's sensitive flesh. She moaned into Alex's chest but did not pull away, even when Alex used her other hand to attempt to pull Olivia's shirt off.
Finally, Olivia released Alex, allowing her to pull the shirt off. She snorted delicately as Alex threw it away from the bed. She gave Olivia a gentle shove off of her, rolling over to cover Olivia's body with her own.
Olivia grinned, "In a hurry, Alex?"
Alex leaned forward, catching Olivia's lower lip between her teeth, "Mmmhmmmm," she purred, teasing Olivia with two fingers poised at her entrance. Olivia's intake of breath was all the encouragement she needed, pulling down her lover's jeans with one hand and sliding two fingers quickly into Olivia. Olivia moaned, grabbing at Alex, pulling her in for a bruising kiss.
As Alex increased speed, Olivia's hands sought purchase, pulling at handfuls of the bed sheets and running her fingers through Alex's long hair. Her hips had long since taken on a mind of their own and they moved to an unconscious rhythm as Alex added another finger, circling Olivia's clit with her thumb.
"Alex," she managed, having long since lost the verbal capacity for any other words. Alex gave her a predatory smile, then slid down Olivia's writhing body. She moved a third finger deep into her lover as Alex took her into her mouth, allowing her tongue to gently tease over Olivia's clit. Olivia pulled her legs up, bending her knees to give Alex easier access as she knelt between Olivia's legs, alternating quick thrusts with calm, smooth strokes of her tongue. Olivia's eyes were closed in bliss and Alex relished the power she had over the other woman. She could feel Olivia's orgasm building as her inner walls clenched against her moving fingers and she quickened her pace, applying more pressure with her tongue as Olivia finally let go of the abused blankets and gasped out her lover's name. Minutes passed as Alex continued her rhythmic strokes and Olivia came down from her orgasm, finally allowing her eyes to blink open at the beautiful blonde between her legs.
"Hi," she smiled brightly.
"Hi, yourself. How are you feeling?" Alex returned her smile.
"Mmhmmm," Olivia moaned, stretching her arms out above her head, "Better now."
Before Alex knew what had happened, Olivia had flipped their positions, leaving Alex flat on her back and Olivia half kneeling, half lying on top of her.
"You are amazing," Olivia whispered, resuming her previous position of dominance. She used the tips of her fingers to trace silvery stretch marks down Alex's stomach. When she reached the waistband of Alex's jeans, she wasted no time in pulling apart the snaps on the button fly and pushing the material away to reveal a triangle of black lace. She needed no more incentive. She ran her fingers around the waistband of Alex's pants, then gently tugged them off, throwing the jeans to the floor. Alex lay back, watching Olivia with dark eyes. Instead of pulling the panties off, Olivia slipped two fingers under the elastic, sliding her fingers through Alex's soft folds. Alex's back arched, pushing her towards Olivia's exploring fingers. Olivia knelt between the blonde's legs, moving her fingers away only long enough to tug Alex's underwear down over her toned legs and throw the offending garment across the room. She slid her palms under Alex's ass, lifting her lover up off the bed before taking her into her mouth, sucking gently on her clit. Alex moaned, her hands coming to rest in Olivia's hair. She tried vainly not to push Olivia into her, instead twining her fingers in Olivia's cropped hair. Olivia lapped at the wetness gathering in Alex's folds, eager to make up for time lost. One hand moved from under Alex to her breast, cupping the weight before running soft fingers over sensitive nipples.
Just as Alex felt her orgasm building, Olivia slid two fingers into her and pushed her right over the edge. Olivia smiled to herself as Alex's body trembled with her release, almost proud that she remembered how to play Alex so well.
Alex opened bright eyes to find that Olivia had crawled up from her previous position to lie next to Alex. Sighing deeply, Alex pulled the covers over them, nestling into Olivia's arms, wrapping them around her and holding them in place with her hands. Olivia placed loving kisses on the top of Alex's head, working her way down her neck, and kissing her ear softly. Alex turned her head, capturing Olivia's lips.
"I missed you so much, Liv," she whispered as her eyes finally drifted shut.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Watching Antonio walk from the room, scared and alone, Alex felt her heart break. He truly had no one left in the world, and now they were asking the impossible from him. To go in front of a jury...to go in front of the man who'd shot his family, and tell the Judge exactly what he'd witnessed.
"If Antonio doesn't testify, we're screwed," Casey told her, pointing out that which Alex already knew.
"I know," she said, pausing. She thought of Adia and Olivia, safe together, and wondered what her little girl would do if she were in Antonio's position, "We should keep preparing my testimony," she said, hoping that repetition would make her less nervous.
"Y'know, we've gone over all my questions. I think you're ready."
"Are you?" Alex shot back without thinking, taking her frustrations and fears out on the person nearest to her, "I'm sorry, Casey. That was...out of line."
"It's got to be hard, to be on that side of the courtroom," Casey sympathized. It was hard for her, too, she wanted to yell. Hard to come here to replace the Golden Girl and then, just as she was beginning to get her footing, to have her come waltzing back.
Alex nodded, not wanting to delve into details with this person she knew solely in the professional sense. She wanted to go back to the hotel room, where Olivia was, where she was allowed to be afraid. Where she wouldn't be judged and held up next to the image she'd left behind. Because as much as she wanted to deny it, she wasn't the same Alex Cabot anymore.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Adia, breastfed and changed, had finally been laid down to sleep. Elliot smiled at the baby, a tiny miniature replica of his partner, and then turned to Alex, "Wanna play? I brought games."
Alex grinned, "Sure. Whatcha got?"
As Elliot listed off choices, Alex tried not to stare at her watch. Olivia would be here. 8 pm at the latest, she'd promised. And she did enjoy being with Elliot. He was good company, keeping her mind off the horror that tomorrow would bring.
Three games, and three losses, later Alex glanced up at her friend, "You win. Next game, your ass is mine."
Elliot dropped the dice, "You're going to do great tomorrow," he said simply, not knowing what other comfort he could offer.
A knock at the door startled them. It was only 7, but Alex hoped that Olivia'd managed to get away sooner. Elliot pulled his gun and waited for the person to talk.
"Hey, it's Liv. Open up," Alex about sighed in relief and Elliot opened the door.
"Go home, get some rest," Olivia spoke to her partner, then smiled at Alex, "Hey."
Alex smiled back, hoping to cover the fear behind her eyes. Elliot said goodbye and headed for the door as Olivia dropped her overnight bag on the bed, "You wanna keep playing?"
Alex most certainly did not want to keep playing. She made a non-committal shrug, wrapping her arms around herself and walking towards the giant window, "I wish these opened. I want to smell the city."
"You mean the rotting garbage and diesel exhaust?" Olivia teased.
"Wisconsin is so quiet at night," bit out Alex, as though Wisconsin had both kicked her puppy and taken her ice cream.
Olivia leaned against the window, watching the tears brim Alex's eyes but not fall, "Are you making any friends?"
Now or Never, Alex thought, "There's a man at the insurance agency where I work. He's a good man...and when we're in bed together at night he whispers my name...Emily."
Olivia swallowed the sob that was building in the back of her throat, "It's hard to be someone that you're not," she managed, refusing to acknowledge the tears building in her own eyes by wiping them away.
"Sometimes, when I get homesick, I hum the Mr. Softee song," Alex said, refusing to comment any more on Martin or on being someone that she wasn't.
Olivia wanted nothing more than to pull Alex into her arms as Alex finally allowed her fears a voice, "I can't stop thinking like a prosecutor. It should be me up there tomorrow, trying the man that shot that little boy. He's going to sit there tomorrow, looking like a perfect gentleman. He's going to charm the jury with his Irish brogue and I don't know how to show them..."
Olivia turned away, rooting in her bag, "Alex, you didn't see this file."
Alex's mouth dropped as she opened the manila envelope, reading his secrets and slipping more and more into the Alex of two years ago. She moved slowly over to the couch, allowing Olivia to sit down and then settling into the space between Olivia's legs as her legal mind woke up from two years rest and begin to process the information within the file.
Two hours later, Alex felt one hundred times more confident. Reassured that tomorrow would not be a complete bust, she turned in Olivia's arms, planting kisses along her jaw line.
"I love you, Olivia," she whispered, hoping Olivia wouldn't want to pursue earlier comments.
"You know I love you," Olivia said, taking the file from Alex and setting it on the table, "But I know how hard it is to be alone. You don't need to feel guilty for seeking out someone..."
"It didn't start like that," Alex said, needing to explain. Olivia raised her hand in acceptance but Alex barged on, "He was kind to me when I was new. He was so nice to me during my pregnancy, Olivia it just happened. I...I needed someone. To touch me, to show me I was still alive. Because it hurt so much not having you with me..."
Olivia smoothed Alex's hair away from her face, "Shhh. Alex, honey. It's okay. I understand. I didn't expect you to go about the rest of your life alone. I want to be there for you, baby, but if I can't, I want you to know it's okay that you meet people. I don't want you to be alone."
"I don't want anyone but you, Liv," Alex said, wrapping her arms tight around Olivia and snuggling closer, "I wish this was over. I want to come home."
"I want you home, too. You and Adia."
As if on cue, a tiny wail was heard from the other room, "You woke her up!" Alex teased, pushing herself out of Olivia's embrace. As she went to go get Adia, Olivia stopped her.
"Let me? Please," Olivia asked, standing and walking towards the tiny sobs. Alex conceded easily, sinking back into the couch as her girlfriend went to get their daughter.
"I think she's hungry," Olivia guessed, gently rocking Adia in her arms, "Her diaper's clean."
Alex grinned, "Yes, you're probably right. She eats like her mama," she said, raising an eyebrow at Olivia and taking the blanket wrapped baby from her arms. Unconsciously, she pushed up her shirt and unsnapped the clasps on her nursing bra, bringing Adia close to her. Adia latched on immediately, dark eyes watching her mommy as she nursed.
Olivia stared openly at Alex and Adia, not exactly knowing what to do. IDo I go into the other room or do I.../I
Alex looked up from her daughter, catching the panicked look in Olivia's eyes, "Here, sweetie. Come sit by us," she patted the couch, "It's okay, I'm used to this."
Olivia perched on the couch arm, scooting in closer at Alex's look. She peered over Alex's shoulder, watching as Adia's eyes begin to drift shut in sleep, "Maybe she wasn't hungry. Maybe she was just bored."
"She does that sometimes. I think she misses out on the action and wants to be part of whatever is going on in the room she isn't in. She's nosey," Alex said, leaning over to kiss Olivia, "Like someone else I know."