Author: mwahahahaha! i am writing a new story mwahaha!

Snow Bunny

Once upon a time there lived a woman. She had hair as dark as night, lips as red as rubies and skin as white as snow. She was called Snow White and she was the fairest of them all.

At another time and place there was Snow Bunny. She had hair as white as ice, eyes as red as blood and skin as pail as a vampire. She wasn't the fairest of them all. Don't get me wrong, she's pretty to look at, she is just to mean to be fair. "Hey!" said Bunny looking up at the narrator. "Say that again and Ill fry you to death!"

See what I mean? Anyway. This girl was born of a beautiful mother named Gwenafar. Now Gwenny was a beautiful lady, but she was married to a drunken slob of a man who just happened to be a Baron. A Baron that needed an heir. So Gwenafar went to a fortune teller who just happened to be in the neighborhood.

"What is it you need missy?" said the fortune teller named Tempest "Missy?" Tempest asks Narrator. "Just how old am I?"

None of your damn business. "I need to know if I will ever bare an heir for my husband."

"It won't be a hare it will be a Bunny." said the Gypsy

"Excuse me?" asked the Baroness confusedly.

"Nothing. Hmm. You will give birth to a baby girl. She will be the toughest of them all-"

"Don't you mean fairest?" asked the mother-to be.

"NOO. I mean toughest. A real spit fire." said Tempest, not bothering to confront the author about her dialog. "She will be pretty, pretty angry!" she said collapsing into laughter because that's what narrator told her to do. So Gwenny went on her way, back to her castle. "Maybe I shoulda told her she was gonna die…" mused the muse. "Oh well."

Soon the Baroness became pregnant. She had the child at the expense of her own life. The Baron became solemn for his wife was the only thing besides alcohol he actually liked. That and a girl can't be an heir. So he was heirless as well. Really. He was bald.

The Barons subjects at first loved the baby. Mostly cause they loved the late Baroness. However, they soon realized the baby was nothing like her mother. For example, she set things on fire. And she played tricks on people. Mostly she was just mean. The people begged their rule to get another wife. Maybe SHE could deal with the little demon.

So it came to pass the Baron got married again. He brought to the court a woman with blue hair and blue eyes. Her name was Setsuna. "WHAT? I'm the bad guy? How."

Cause you're an evil, manipulative bitch. Now the thing is, this woman was a witch. Not only that but an EVIL witch. And she liked it that way. Every night she would go to her mirror and chant. "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the meanest of them all?" and the mirror would answer. "You are the meaning of Evil my lady."

One day however the mirror answered "The peasants say your mean, that's true, but they say Snow Bunny is meaner than you!" That day Snow Bunny had set the chickens on fire, destroyed the kitchen, and put cow dung in all the chambers. Setsuna glared.

The Evil Baroness hired an assassin to kill the little girl. This would have worked except for one thing. That day the red eyed girl had found a squirrel. Of course everyone knows that squirrels are evil and must be disposed of, but the assassin was foreign and didn't know any better. He came upon his quarry torturing the rabid beast and thought her magnificent. He just couldn't kill the child. So instead he went up to her and said "oh magnificent one, your step mother seeks to kill you. Run into the forest and we will trick her."

Bunny just glared at him and walked off. He grabbed the little squirrel and carved out its heart. It is a little known fact squirrels have overgrown hearts, the size of human ones so that they can house their evil there. He took the heart back to the Baroness and told her it was the girl's heart. Amazingly, he was believed.

Now Bunny was going along walking threw the forest acting all tough, but really she was scared. She had no place to sleep and she wanted some sweet snow. Oh well. She could always sleep in a tree and eat pinecones. She stumbled onto a little house. She was extremely tired from walking so much so she lay down on a big bed and fell asleep.

"I think we should eat her." said a voice.

"That's not very nice!" said another voice.

"Where friggin demons were not sposed to be nice!"

Bunny woke up and screamed "MIDGETS!"

"Look who's talkin! Your not so tall yourself!" grumbled a voice connected to a very short dude.

"What are you?" asked Snow Bunny.

"Circus freaks. Oh and were demons." Explained another small person.

"Who are you?" asked the sixth dwarf.

"I am Snow Bunny. Protector of the universe defender of the week." is what Bunny could have said. Instead she said "I'm Bunny."

"Hiya Bunny." said the seventh little guy. "Do you wanna work for us? Well let you stay here."

"Why should we trust her?" asked one of the proverbial seven dwarfs.

"Cause she reminds me of our king." He said. "He's on a business trip now, but he should be back in a weak." he explained.

"Okay. Except one thing. No WAY am I doing house work." said Bunny. All she knew was she got a home.

Back with the Evil witch. "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the meanest of them all?" The Mirror sighed. "Your gonna see red, when you here Snow Bunny is not dead, and she is still the meanest meany-head." "Meany-head?" Setsuna asked.

Hey I'm not getting paid to think up stupid rhymes. Setsuna cursed the fact she was only a Baroness and couldn't buy a competent assassin, or else she would sick him on your loverly author.

There came a knock at the door at Snow Bunny's current abode. "What do you want?" she asked to a young woman at the door.

"I was wondering if you would like to buy something from me." she answered.

"What do you got?" asked Bunny suspiciously.

"This!" the woman pulled out a fishnet shirt.

"Oh its so PRETTY!" squealed Bunny (OOC much?) she took the shirt and shut the door in the girls face without paying. The joke was on her when she put it on and it began to suffocate her. She collapsed to the sound of evil laughter.

Fortunately for her she actually had been nice to a rat this morning by being a slob and leaving some food out. The rat crawled over an gnawed at the shirt, ripping it in half. Then he jumped on her stomach, forcing her to begin to breath. "Thank you rat minion." she said.

The evil queen started back home but not before bringing out a mirror and saying "Mirror mirror in my hand, who's the meanest in the land?" the mirror said simply "Snow Bunny the evil rat minion queen." Setsuna threw he mirror down and stalked back to Bunny's house. She broke open the door, grabbed Bunny and then poured some poison down her throat. "GET OUTA THAT ONE BITCH!" she said before leaving. Needless to say Bunny's rat couldn't help her.

In threw the door came the midget-demon-prince, also known as Hiei (betcha didn't see that one coming) He saw a dead body on the floor. "hmn." he kicked her in the stomach and Bunny rolled over, puking out the poison. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

"WELL IM NOT AM I?" she held her stomach. "it was my stupid step mother. Gosh, why does she want to kill me?"

"Your step mother tried to kill you?" asked Hiei.

"yep."

"Want me to help you kill her?" he asked.

"why?" Bunny asked suspiciously.

"I am a mother hater."

"Okay. Works for me." so they went to Bunny's old house and massacred the entire city, pay back for being idiots and not being nice to poor defenseless Bunny. The last one to die was Setsuna. Then her body went poof, being transported to a story having something to do with gingerbread…but that's another story. Hiei and Bunny became rulers of the world fulfilling an ancient prophesy stating, "midgets will rule your eternal soul" oh and they lived happily ever after…sorta