Chapter 17 - Vows

A white steeple appeared as they hit the edge of town, the top adorned with an elegant gold cross which shone in the sunlight. The building was painted in the brightest of whites save for the brick red door, pale green roof and the specks of color from intricate stained glass windows.

Harm stopped walking at the steps. He seemed visibly nervous and her own heart hadn't stopped racing. "A church? Getting religious on me, Harm?"

"Something like that. Come, I want to show you something." He held the door open and was thankful there wasn't another living soul inside. The beautiful structure was absolutely quiet and it gave him time to study Mac's reaction.

They walked past the arched entryway beneath the choir loft and into the main room. Vaulted, wooden ceilings stretched up high and the sunlight shining through stained glass made the loveliest patterns on the ground. The pews were a rich mahogany and the smell of wax and incense hung in the air, the pleasant scent that reminded him of Sunday mass with his grandmother.

The aisle was carpeted, a brick red which led its way to the altar and up the steps. Beautiful bouquets of white flowers hung throughout most of the space from a wedding that was held that morning and had yet to be taken down. That had to be some sort of sign, he believed. "Pretty isn't it?"

"It is. It's…" Mac made it past two pews when she felt something hard hit the center of her chest. It sucked the breath right out of her and for a moment she wondered if she'd been shot. The edges of her vision began to dim, tunneling until she began to fall into a deep abyss. "Harm…"

Mac heard herself call his name although it seemed so far away. Strong arms kept her upright but she fainted anyway and actually traveled to another time.

January 1st, 2003

Kennebunkport, Maine

The wedding dress was simple but very elegant, a long beige gown with a V neck covered by a lacy pattern that was sexy and yet modest enough for a church. Her short brown locks had been tastefully frizzed; a crown of small, white flowers sat atop her head. She was radiant, glowing like the blushing bride she was.

Mac stared at her reflection in the mirror making sure everything looked just right. Today would be the start of a new life with a man she loved more than anything. She still didn't know what possessed him to ask or why she agreed but the wedding had come together quickly.

After a final look and a quick touch up, she took a breath and stepped out of the bridal room and stepped out to find one beaming Jack Keeter. His eyes came alive when he saw her, that flyboy grin replaced by a devastatingly charming smile. He whistled and gave a thumbs up when Mac modeled the dress for him. "You clean up well for a Marine."

"As do you, Navy." She stopped and ran her hands down the skirt. "Does it really look good?"

"Oh yeah. Harm will die of pride the second you walk down the aisle. Speaking of which, you may want to get going, he thinks you're getting cold feet."

"I may have if it were anyone else. I've wanted this, wanted him for a very long time. This still doesn't feel real."

Keeter took her hand squeezing it gently. "In the desert I told you once that Harm had a thing for you. I also told you that if he never made up his mind I'd wait for you." He had and she punched him for flirting.

"I still can't believe you of all people got hitched. From what I heard you and Harm had a running bet on who had more girls in every port."

Keeter blushed, that had been the younger version of them, the ones who thought that ruling the skies meant they were invisible. "I got tired of waiting on you, darlin' and had to find a love of my own. She's a catch and I keep wondering what she saw in me."

"You're a good guy, like Harm. And you fell in love, it happens when you aren't trying to." She threaded her arm through his but then stopped him from moving. Jack was giving her away, something she might have liked Chegwidden or even her uncle Matt to do. "Tell me I'm not dreaming."

"You aren't darlin'. It's real and he's a damned lucky son of a you know what." He motioned to the archway right beneath the choir loft. "C'mon before Rabb has a heart attack."

A gentle tune played on the grand piano situated to the right of the altar. It wasn't the traditional wedding march nor the love song of the year but it was lovely. Mac let out a deep breath and began walking, her hands shook and not from nervousness but excitement.

The church was devoid of any patrons except for the small wedding party in the future church members required to hold even the simplest of weddings. Although neither of them wanted any Pomp and Circumstance, she did miss having some of their closest friends nearby. Harm promised to fix that someday, to have some larger ceremony back home that they could share with friends and family.

Harm stood at the altar, his back turned until she made it half way down the aisle. When he turned she saw his lips curve into that wide flyboy smile. He wasn't wearing dress whites or a uniform of any type just a simple grey suit and yet he was the most handsome man she'd ever seen. She saw his eyes drink her in, locking onto her own as he pressed a hand to the center of his chest.

Her breath caught when she reached him, the blue of his eyes had never been that intense. She slipped her hand into his and that delicious electric shock moved between them in waves. Any reservations that she may have had vanished the second she touched him.

A short ceremony that's what they'd agreed to. Some words from the priest, an exchange of vows and before long he was sliding his ring onto her finger. Mac held her breath as he spoke, uniting her to him for all time. "I, Harmon take Sarah to be my wife. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. As long as we both shall live."

There was a tremble in his voice and she knew he was holding back his emotions, trying to be that pillar of strength even as his voice shook. She repeated the same vows, brushed her thumb over the band now resting on his finger, the ultimate sign that he'd given up his precious freedom for her.

Mac tried not to cry but stubborn tears still fell anyway, the happy kind as the priest wound down the ceremony and pronounced them man and wife. Harm brushed the tears away with his thumbs, cupping her face tenderly. He simply looked at her for a moment although the priest had told him to kiss his wife.

"I love you, Sarah." Harm said, his voice finally giving into that emotion he bottled up. And when he finally kissed her it felt like nothing she'd experienced before. Familiar and yet not. Intense and still chaste until he deepened the kiss like a lover whose desire would never be tamed.

Behind them the priest cleared his throat, Keeter gave out a cat call and his wife could only giggle. Mac simply kissed him back with equal fervor. "I love you, Harm." She said once they broke the kiss and the ceremony finished.

Her knuckles were white from gripping the back of the pew. The memory had played out before her like a movie that she was both a protagonist and the viewer - an out of body experience that had left her shaken.

She closed her eyes and opened them slowly focusing on the altar. The fading images of them walking down the aisle lingered blissfully unaware of the chaos that would come months later.

"Mac. Talk to me." Harm's voice was thick as he spoke. He had one arm wrapped around her like a blanket of warmth and safety. This had been his secret, the one she needed to unravel for herself. "Please talk to me."

Tears streamed down her cheeks and her heart came back to life in such a feeling of euphoria she could barely contain it. "We were married here." She looked around as if seeing the church for the first time.

"Yes."

The pads of his thumbs brushed away the tears and she shook from the contact. More memories returned like that of driving to the dock, the boat ride down the river where they just couldn't keep their hands to themselves. The cabin, owned by a friend of Keeter's, secluded enough that they would be completely alone. "The cabin...we stayed there. I remember you carrying me over the threshold even though I told you to put me down." She looked at him then and found Harm was crying too, a solitary tear slipping from one eye.

"The tub had no plumbing." She laughed. "Oh God, I was still in my dress and you in your suit when we filled it."

Harm didn't say a word just kept a hold on her as she spoke out of fear that something would make Mac stop. She kept speaking detailing their little messages on the Scrabble board that began at the cabin and continued back home. "I burnt my fingers in the oven making breakfast pulling biscuits out….I was cursing when you found me with my hand under the faucet."

Everything was so good for a time. He agreed to move into her apartment and eventually, they would find a place that was theirs. Mac recalled seeing his suits next to her uniform and the tingling feeling of knowing he was hers.

The judiciary, Singer, his trial she remembered it all especially running away to Paraguay - the one mistake that had cost them everything. It had been her fault for not talking to him but then she was far too upset and irrational. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. How long...How long has it been?"

"Almost four years." He gulped. Harm was terrified he was imagining this or that it was a dream and Nazanin would return when he woke. His grip tightened around her when she sat back and he was better able to look at her. He hated that her eyes only got that specific shade of amber and gold when she cried.

"Four years?"

Harm nodded. "I wouldn't stop loving you. I couldn't. Damn Mac, I really didn't know what I had until you were gone."

"I feel like I was asleep and someone else was living my life." She looked around again and more things clicked. When Harm took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers she realized something was missing. "You're not wearing your ring?"

For some reason that notion pained her although it wasn't fair for Harm to remain faithful. Seeing his finger bare still hurt.

Harm let her go and then pulled at the dog tags

around his neck. He unfastened them and spilled two rings onto the palm of his hand. His and hers - he was never without one or the other. "I couldn't let you go."

"Oh." Mac pinched his ring between her fingers and raised it up to study the unique engraving, a testament that the hardened Naval officer could also have a romantic streak. What Harm couldn't put into words, he did with actions and the design of their rings spoke more than words ever could. Mac slid off his Naval Academy ring and replaced it with his wedding band. "I, Sarah take Harmon to be my husband. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. As long as we both shall live."

In the palm of his hand lay her wedding band

that managed to catch a sliver of sunlight gleaming through the stained glass window. He slid it onto her finger repeating the same vow only meaning it more now than he had when they first married. "May I kiss the bride?"

Harm moved closer to her, his head stopping a fraction away from hers when he heard Mac speak. "Ask me who I am."

His brow furled at her request at first because he'd forgotten the words she used when at their most intimate. A slow smile spread across her lips and this time the tone was much stronger. She remembered. She remembered everything about them. "Ask me who I am."

"Who are you?"

"Your wife." When she kissed him there was no mistaking who the woman in his arms was. He felt the flutter in his chest, the recognition between two souls that had lost each other and had now returned home. His tongue slipped into her mouth, tasting the sweetness he thought would be lost to him forever. He drank of her like a man dying of thirst and only pulled away because, as usual, their kisses became too heated. "Take me home." She requested and hand in hand husband and wife left the church.