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Sing this to the tune of YMCA by The Village People!
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Lucius starts us off with the first verse, Hermione sings all the rest, and then the elves come in at the end for the grand finale….
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S.P.E.W!
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Lucius Malfoy:
"House Elf!
Make my breakfast for me,
I said, House Elf!
Sweep the floor and make tea,
I said, House Elf!
Make the silverware gleam!
And don't slack – cos – I'll – be – watch - ing!"
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Hermione (covered from head to foot in S.P.E.W. badges):
"House Elf!
You must put up a fight!
I said House Elf!
Don't you cower in fright
I said House Elf!
You stand up for your rights
And you'll find - you - won't - be – sor - ry….
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Join my society – S.P.E.W!
Join my society – S.P.E.W!
I can hardly explain
Just how madly insane
I become when I see elves in pain
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Become a member of – S.P.E.W!
Become a member of – S.P.E.W!
I will make your life hell
If you mistreat an elf
So you'd better just join up and help
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House Elf!
Put that cleaning brush down,
I said House Elf!
Try this lovely red gown
I said House Elf!
Turn your frown upside down
Because I - have - come - to - save - you!
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House Elf!
Go and shop 'til you drop
I said House Elf!
Treat yourself and don't stop
Until, House Elf!
You feel like you're on top
Of the world - 'cause - you – de - serve – it…."
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(Hermione turns towards all the wizards and witches that have gathered around)
"You'd better sign up for S.P.E.W!
You'd better sign up for S.P.E.W!
If you dare to ignore
I will scream, and what's more
I will vomit all over the floor!
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You'll get a badge that says S.P.E.W!
You'll get a badge that says S.P.E.W!
As you'll probably see
They are hand-made by me
You can choose from red, blue or green
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House Elf!
You've got nothing to lose
I said House Elf!
Book yourself on a cruise
Because House Elf!
You've a pension to use
You can store – it – all – in – Grin – gotts!"
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(Hermione throws handfuls of stripey socks to every house elf she can see):
"House Elf!
Don't you ever look back
I said House Elf!
No more wearing a sack
You've got clothes now!
And I'm sure you will find
That these stri – pey – socks - are – sub – lime…."
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Elves (all now wearing stripey socks):
"We've all been rescued by S.P.E.W!
We've all been rescued by S.P.E.W!
What a wonderful girl
With her hair all in curls
She has totally changed our world!
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S.P.E.W!
S.P.E.W!
What a wonderful girl
With her hair all in curls
She has totally changed our world!"
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Repeat chorus to fade….
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Power to the elves! Here are the real lyrics for Y.M.C.A.
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Young Man
There's no need to feel down,
I said, Young Man
Get yourself off the ground,
I said, Young Man
'Cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be un-happy….
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Young Man
There's a place you can go,
I said, Young Man
When you're short on your dough,
You can stay there
And I'm sure you will find,
Many ways to have a good time….
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It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys….
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It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
You can get yourself clean,
You can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel….
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Young Man - Are you listening to me?
I said, Young Man,
What do you wanna' be?
I said, Young Man
You can make real your dreams,
But you've got to know this one thing:
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No man,
Does it all by himself,
I said, Young Man
Put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there –
To the YMCA,
I'm sure they can help you today….
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It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys….
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It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
You can get yourself clean,
You can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel….
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Young Man,
I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was –
Down and out with the blues,
I felt no man cared that I were alive,
I felt the whole world was so tired.
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That's when,
Someone came up to me,
And said, Young Man
Take a walk up the street,
It's a place there –
Called the YMCA,
They can start you back on your way….
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It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys….
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YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the
YMCA….
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Young Man, Young Man
There's no need to feel down,
Young Man, Young Man
Pick yourself off the ground….