Ike&Kyle Shade Shore
comedy/ Short story


The sun rose up in the morning sky, melting the crisp air. Orange and yellow light cast on the streets of South Park. Snow shimmered and sparkled by the bus stop where a young flop-headed Canadian child with bushy black hair stood with a fairly older male who wore a green ushanka. A young boy, around the same age as the boy who wore the ushanka trotted towards the two boys, wearing a wide suspicious smile.
" Hey, Kyle. I saw some Shade Shores last night. " he grinned, fitting his hand into his mouth.
" Sick dude! My little brother is right here! " Kyle screeched.
" Oh, sorry. But I threw up when when I saw it. It was sick dude! " Stan laughed.
" Ike, I hope you're not listening. This is mature conversations. " Kyle pointed at his little brother.
" But I'm mature. I'm in the 4nd grade now. " Ike whined.
" I know you think you are old enough to listen to anything, but you have to understand, Shade Shore is NOTHING to be talked about when you are only a 4nd grader. " Kyle and Stan nodded.
" But- but you said that being once I become a second grader everything will be changed once I turn into a 4th grader! " Ike cried.
" Yeah, but Shade shores is not a 4th grade thing. " Kyle responded.
" B-but... " Ike stumbled.
" Sorry, kid, but words from our grade has to be kept a secret. You have to understand that there are some things that are mature and some that are not. " Stan told him, shifting his backpack to his other arm.
" yeah, dude. If you learn things too young, you can DIE! " Kyle and Stan laughed.
The bus pulled over and the boys walked on, after hearing the usual order from the bus driver. She waited for them to sit down properly and closed the door. Ike sat in front of Kyle and Stan, listening to their conversation.
I'm in the fourth grade. I am mature enough to handle Shade Shore. What could one little word do? Ike asked himself, nodding and a wide smile appeared on his face.

The bus stopped at the South Park Elementary school. Ike hopped off the bus and waved to Kyle and Stan, entering to the school hall way. Everyone crowded around their lockers. Ike walked to his locker and banged the door open. The blue metal door creaked open as he placed his books inside it. The bell rang and everyone stomped to their classes. Ike sighed and looked at himself in the tiny mirror he had hung in his locker door and gave a hopeful smile.
I'm going to prove to everyone I'm mature enough to handle Shade shores. Yeah. Yeah. Ike grinned to himself and took a deep breath and slammed his locker shut. He puffed up his chest and walked in to his class.
Mrs. Garrison; a woman with a large bald spot on her head had already started their lesson. Ike blushed but continue to walk and sat on his desk. Mrs. Garrison paused and glanced at Ike.
" Ike Broflovski, do you have a good explanation why you are late for class today? " she asked, crossing her arms.
" Well, okay. I'll tell you why I am late today. I am sure you will think this is a very good explanation; a very mature explanation. " Ike stood up and walked to the front of the class, holding his head up high and shined his eyes at the class. " I happen to be outside with the older kids talking about mature stuff like cars, girls, sex, Barbara Streisand's fat nose job and..."
" Oh, okay then sit down. Why the hell do I care what you boys are talking about. " Mrs. Garrison went back to face the chalkboard.
" And we also talked about Shade Shore. " Ike added, closing his eyes and smirking.
Mrs. Garrison stopped writing and slowly turned to Ike. The class' mouth dropped. Ike started walking towards to his seat.
" What-what did you say, Ike Broflovski? " she asked slowly.
" I said we talked about Shade Shore. It was nothing. " Ike shrugged and walked to his desk.
" How dare you. " Mrs. Garrison raised her voice. " You are not permitted to talk about...that word here on school ground! You are going to have detention ... no you are going to go to the principal's office. I am calling your parents. "

Mrs. Garrison walked to the phone and began to dial. Ike gasped and began to sweat. He stared at the class' expression. Everyone shook their heads and stayed quit.
" Wait why am I going to the office! I didn't do anything! " Ike cried.
" Hello, I have a child that needs to be sent to the principal as soon as possible. Please call Ike Broflovski's parents. That is I-K-E B-R-O-F-L-O-V-S-K-I. Uh huh. Yes. Yeah. He and some older children were discussing the S.S word. " Mrs. Garrison explained on the phone.
There was a loud shriek on the phone line and Mrs. Garrison held the phone away from her. Ike's eyes began to water. He looked to the floor and whimpered.
" Now, go to the office. Now! " Mrs. Garrison hollered. " You will discuss this further there. "
" But I didn't do anything... " Ike tried to explain.
" Huh. My ass. Tell your parents you didn't say anything. They'll make sure you never see sun rise ever again once you tell them. Now, leave. I don't want you going around telling the other kids about S.S. "

Ike slowly made his way to the principal's office. He opened the door, seeing his father nodding his head to the councilor, Mr. Mackey and the principal who sat in her desk, her eye brows darkening her eyes. Ike took a deep breath and entered the room with his head towards the ground.
" So you see, being that he has never known those words, he really is a good boy. He's just a little confuse; you know how it is. We were all children once." Ike's father explained.
" But as you see, m'kay, the S.S word is not suppose to be said in school, m'kay. " Mr. Mackey crossed his thin arms.
" I understand your concerns but- "
" Allowing one child to say the ...S.S word would be like saying kids can drink at age 2. If your son says the word, then everyone else would think that it's okay to say it, too. I just can't allow that. " the principal replied.
" But because we are good friends, and Ike has been able to stay out of trouble for years, we'll let you take him home. Just pretend this never happened, m'kay?. " Mr. Mackey sighed.
" Thank you so much. I'll be sure Ike will never say ...what ever he said ever again. Thank you so much. " Ike and his father waved and walked out the door.
Ike looked up at his father. His father held his hand and lead him to the car. A gust of grass scented air blew at Ike's face as he stepped into the car with his father. He looked at his father's expression in the car mirror.
" Dad, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to get in trouble, I just wanted to be mature and- " Ike explained.
" Son, it's okay. It's nothing. Besides, I don't even care. Who cares if you said the S.S word thing. I have no idea what they were talking about anyway. I'd say, these days, school is trying to get rid of their kids each day. " He laughed.
Ike smiled and laughed along with him. They drove to their house and parked the car by the garage of their gray-green house. Ike hopped off the car and followed his father to the house. His mother and Kyle sat at the dinner table, in individual chairs.
" It's okay, Sheila, the school just went a little nuts about him saying the S.S word. " replied his father.

" Oh, okay then. Because you know that if you did something really bad we are going to punish you, Ike Broflovski. " his mother walked to the fridge and reached for a box of oreo cookies. " You want some cookies, dear? "

" I know. " Ike sighed, picking out a perfect oreo.
" Oh my god! You two don't care that he said the S.S word?" Kyle exclaimed.
" Come on son. Everyone says Silly Sally all the time. We use to say that all the time at our age. " their father bit into the oreo.
" Yeah, Kyle- Wait a minute. I thought S.S means Sex Slave. That would be a more appropriate way to get sent to the principal's office. " Sheila sat next to Kyle.
" No, you guys had it all wrong. The double 'S' means - " Kyle began to whisper the word.
Ike watched his mother and father's eyes widen. His father looked away and threw up his oreos. The vomit flowed in a group around Ike's chair, the room smelt of sour milk. Kyle made a look on his face and ran to the living room. Their mother stood up. Her face became as red as her hair.
" WHAT! " She shrieked.
" B-but I thought you said it was no big deal... " Ike hid behind his chair.
" Not a big deal! This is- why you- I am going to-Gerald! Do something about your son! " she hollered.
" My son! He is as much as my son as your son. But right now, I only have one son! And his name is Kyle! " his father wiped his mouth with his sleeves.
" Is that so? Ike, go to the living room. I don't want to see your face right now. " his mother commanded.
Ike walked over to the living room and sat next to Kyle. His lips began to tremble and tears rolled down his eyes. Kyle put a arm around his brother and smiled.
" Ike, I guess it's time for you to find out the meaning of Shade Shore. " Kyle smiled. " You see, Shade Shore is- "

Ike listened as Kyle whispered the words in his ears. His mouth widen with a smile. The tears on his chin dripped to his palm and he embraced his brother.
" Thank you so much! Now I feel grown up! I can hear the bells again! " Ike hopped off the couch and ran to the door.
" Where are you going, Ike? " Kyle asked.
" I am going to tell the world what Shade Shore is. No one should feel trapped and immature for the rest of their childhood. If they want to grow up and die, we shall not stop them. We must create a dream come true for the kids of South Park. It is time I enlighten everyone! " Ike ran out the door and to the streets. " Everyone! Kid of South park! Shade Shores is- "

R.I.P

Ike Broflovski

Got hit by a garbage truck
" Shade Shores is - "