TEN
"I used to murder people for money, but these days it's more of a survival technique."
—Jennifer Estep
HANBIN
Some people think you'd have to be a real messed up son of a bitch to live the life I do. I see them walking around with their heads held up high, talking on their cell phones, pretending to be good people. But the truth is, they're not. Truly good people, which are very hard to find, don't think they're good people. They believe that they're doing what anyone else would do. The truth is, ninety percent of us are hiding from the world and our true selves. We force ourselves to do the "right" thing because we're afraid of the consequences of doing what we really want to do.
I used to be one of those people. I used to lie to myself too. I knew what my father—Gino the One-Eye—did for a living. I only saw him on holidays, and on my birthday, but I knew I didn't want to be like him. Every time my mother washed the blood out of his shirts, I felt my disgust build. I didn't want to be like him, I didn't want his life, and I didn't want to spend my time kissing people's shoes.
And then he came back in a wheelchair and told me I was going to go work for the devil himself. Gino's loyalty to Dong-suk knew no bounds, and I guess Dong-suk liked the old man. So when Gino lost his legs, Dong-suk allowed him a way out of the life and to prove his gratitude, and Gino gave me up; I would work in his place, that way no one would ever think he would become a rat. A man could rat on his boss, but a true man could never rat out his only son.
I hated him for it. I tried to run. I packed all my shit in a bag, jumped out the window and ran down the street, only to find Dong-suk's daughter leaning against a beat up old Chevy.
"I told my dad you were going to run." She said, as the wall of muscle I grew to know as Antonio opened the door for her and myself. The look in his eyes as he held the door open, and his visible gun, told me I didn't have any choice in the matter.
Jennie didn't speak to me. Instead she sat back, flipping through an Thai-to-English dictionary. I tried getting them to talk, I called them every name in the book, but Jennie's only response was to take out a knife and drive its blade deep into the dashboard. That shut me up quick.
As we pulled up to their mansion, she laid down the law. "Your loyalty is to my father and me for the rest of your life," she said. "You will kill for us, you will fight for us, and you will lie for us. In return, you will not only be a very wealthy man, but you will be much safer than you would be without us. Your father has pissed off a lot of people, all of whom would kill you just to get back at him. Run again, and Antonio will put a bullet in the back of your skull. Goodnight." And with that, she got out of the car and walked into her house, leaving me completely stumped.
"How old is she?" I asked Antonio.
"Fourteen," he said, as he shook his head, a thin smile playing on his lips. "The boss wanted to put her in high school, but was afraid she would eat the other students." He laughed. "Come on, time to show the new dog his cage. Wouldn't want to kill you so soon. She ain't joking about the rules."
No, she wasn't. Over the years I spent there, I grew to understand my place. I grew more loyal to her. I wasn't sure why. She just had a way of getting into your head and staying there. She worked ten times harder than the rest of us, and never asked for anything in return. She just worked…more than any girl her age should. You wanted to make her life easier. You wanted to do anything she needed. And by doing almost nothing but being cold, calculating and murderous, she had gained our loyalty. She was the reason I was making this call now.
"Gino," I said into the phone.
"Hanbin? Why…"
"I don't have time, Pop. I have one question and I need you to answer it as honestly as possible." I could feel her gaze on the back of my neck.
"I cannot lie," he lied into the phone.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "What do you know about Scarlet, Dong-suk's ex-wife?"
"Scarlet? Why are you asking? That woman has been dead for years," he replied, lying to me again.
Damn it, Pop.
"Do you know anything?" I asked again.
"No son, I don't."
With that, I hung up.
I was going to have to do this the hard way.
"Well?" she asked, seated behind me as Antonio pulled up at the looney bin. She never spoke unless she had to.
I met her brown eyes in the rear-view mirror.
"He's lying, ma'am. He knows something," I told her honestly, and I watched her as she stared at me.
"Can I trust you to do what's needed?" she asked.
"Yes." Because I was loyal; the ranking of my life was Jennie, Lisa, God, then family. It was fucked up, but that was just part of life.
JENNIE
Was my request of Hanbin too much? Would he really do everything he needed to do to get the job done? Time would only tell, and right now, I had bigger fish to fry. As I walked up the stairs and into the stone structure—which looked like it belonged in a Stephen King novel—rats ran freely into building.
"Mrs. Manoban, I was so happ…"
"I want Nancy McDonie, you can kiss my ass later," I told the short doctor, who looked like he needed to be a patient himself.
"You can wait out here."
"Take me to her." I leaned into his face. "Now."
He jumped, and the nurses behind him stood back as he opened the door for me. I could feel Antonio walking beside me. The moment the doors opened, all I could hear was gibberish mixed in with different levels of screaming. It was madhouse, that was for sure. The women were all frizzy-haired and pale faced, and they seemed to be in their own worlds. Some sat in the corner shaking, while others played with their hands or talked to themselves.
"Shoes!" A woman yelled suddenly, trying to reach for me. Antonio grabbed her, though I doubt she noticed. "Shoes! Me want shoes! Red Shoes! Me want red shoes!"
"What good are shoes with no feet?" I warned her, just as the doctor told the two nurses to take her away.
"I dated a chick like her once." Antonio stated. "Actually, I think that may very well have been her."
"I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Manoban," said the doctor. "I try to let them out of their rooms so they can socialize and so they don't feel like caged animals. Believe me, you are perfectly…"
"Are you trying to sell me something, Doctor?" I asked.
"No ma'am…"
"Then stop wasting my time," I hissed through my teeth, causing him to drop his keys. He grabbed them quickly before rushing down the hall.
Her "room," which looked more like a cell, was the last door on the left. Through the small window, I could see that her dark hair was all over the floor as she sat in the corner. Every time she brushed a lock back, it seemed to fall off, making her sob… it kind of reminded me of Dong-suk.
"Ms. McDonie, Mrs. Manoban is here to see you." The moment he said it was me, she was up and pushing herself further into the wall.
"No. No. No. Please, no. NO!" she screamed before she started crying.
The doctor turned for the nurses, but that wouldn't help.
"Open the door," I demanded. Before he could argue, Antonio took the keys and opened the door himself.
"NO! PLEASE NO!" Nancy begged, curling into a ball.
"'No. No. No.' Oh shut up," I snapped, pulling her from the ground. Her eyes were wide, and she was covered in dirt and dried blood—from only God knows what or where. She looked like a complete savage, and she sure as hell smelled like one.
"It's your lucky day. I've come to save you."
"No," she said again. "You don't know how to save. God saves. The devil destroys."
"Good thing I'm neither. But I can do both. Now, do you want to leave or would you rather stay here with the good doctor?" I didn't give her time to think before pushing her to Antonio.
"You can't just take her!" The doctor yelled as we walked out.
"Who's going to stop me?" I called out as I walked away. "Watch out, doctor. I like destroying things way more than I do saving them."
The moment we stepped out, Bambam and Chanyeol pulled up in the car behind Hanbin. Walking up to her, Chanyeol pressed the needle into her arm.
"What are you doing? Stop, please stop," Nancy cried, forcing me to take a deep breath.
"We're clearing your system of any drugs you may have been given. So stop struggling," I replied, waiting for Chanyeol to finish as Hanbin held open the door for us.
Bambam handed me the burger and milkshake before helping Nancy into the car. It was only when she was seated that I stepped inside and handed her the food. She eyed it before glaring up at me.
"I wouldn't have gone through all that trouble just to poison you." I leaned against the seat, texting Lisa to let her know we were on our way back. With Antonio driving, we would be there in two hours.
She didn't speak. Instead, she stuffed her face as quickly and savagely as possible. Licking her hands and lips, Hanbin turned to her, which caused her to slow down and freeze.
"Do you need something, Hanbin?" I glared at him, forcing him to meet my gaze.
"No, ma'am," he said, turning around once more.
I handed her a tissue and she slowed down, but she still continued eating at a steady pace, all while watching me carefully.
"If you don't want to kill me, what do you want?" she asked. She sounded so tired, as though she hadn't slept in years.
At least she hasn't lost her mind yet.
"Just eat and rest. We can talk about that later. I promise I won't hurt you." She was the only piece of the puzzle we had.
She glared and it almost made her look like the old Nancy…almost.
"I've already hurt myself. So whatever it is—"
"Nancy," I cut her off. "I don't care about your pain. I don't care about your suffering. I warned you and you didn't make the right choice. You chose your fate and lost. But now you've become useful again, and you have a second chance. Don't fuck it up, Nancy. Be smart."
She stared at me again, making her look like a deer caught in headlights, before she dropped her head and finished her meal.
Placing my sunglasses back on, I tried to calm the raging headache that had been on and off for the last week. My head felt as though it was going to explode. No matter how much either Lisa or I tried to piece together the mystery of our lives, we both came up empty handed. All of Shamus' records had been whipped clean. There were no traces that he even had records to begin with. Every last cent of his wealth was gone as well. There was no way that that much money could be just wiped from the system without any trace. Even if it were in a private offshore account, there would still be a trace.
Someone had all but erased Shamus from history. Most things that included his name were either gone or unimportant. I didn't like this. I felt like we were in the middle of some sort of spy novel. This was the mafia. I didn't have time to be chasing down secrets or trying to find the key to the past. We had a drug shipment coming in this morning and instead of checking it out with Lisa, I was here, in a car with Nancy.
"Ma'am, your phone," Hanbin called, pulling me away from my train of thought.
My phone was ringing.
"Well?" I asked into the receiver.
"Hello, love. How are you today? Did you miss me? Those are the questions I would like hear when you answer the phone." Lisa said.
"Lisa, I don't…" I stopped, not because I wanted to, but because the phone was no longer in my hand, and I was no longer in my seat…and the car was no longer on the road… In that moment, everything was in the air.
The glass shattered. Metal sheared against metal, ripping part of the car off as we rolled. Nancy screamed, or it looked like she was screaming, but I was deaf to it all. It felt like hours—years, maybe—when the car finally stopped. I was too dazed to move for a moment. I just sat there, hanging upside down, staring at the blood that dripped down Hanbin's arm.
Was he dead?
"What happened?" Antonio yelled, trying to pull on his seat belt. "What the…what just happened?"
It was then that I noticed the large piece of glass in his arm. He was losing blood—a lot of blood—and he was panicking.
"Antonio, breathe." He wasn't listening to me. "Antonio! Listen to me right now."
Pulling off my seatbelt, I fell straight to the top of the car. Nancy lay there, knocked out, but still breathing. Crawling forward, I pulled my knife from my thigh, and reached up to cut his seat belt.
"Are you alive in there, sweetheart?" Someone called, and I froze. Antonio looked me in the eye before taking the knife from my hands.
"Nini bear? I'm going to be really disappointed if you're dead."
Scarlet.
I fought back the memories; ones of me in her arms as she called me Nini bear. Grabbing a spear gun that had fallen, I tucked it into the back of my pants before I made a move to the window.
"Don't go," Hanbin whispered. "Trap."
"Help him when you're stable, Antonio," was all I could bring myself to say as I crawled on my stomach and hands, ignoring the shards of glass that cut into my skin.
I pulled myself out through the window, and onto the grass, only to find six guns pointed in my face, and my mother, white gloves and all, smiling down at me. She, unlike the rest of her men, looked as though she was going for lunch with the queen and not out for blood.
She looked so much like me. Her dark hair cropped at her shoulders with bright brown eyes staring back. Grabbing onto my arm, one of her men pulled me up, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bambam crawling out of his mangled car, but I couldn't see Chanyeol anywhere.
"Despite the blood and mud, I have to say, I made one attractive kid." Scarlet smirked.
I spat at her feet and was slapped by one of her men. I felt the blood pool at the side of my mouth.
"So rude. Is this what your father taught you?" she asked, walking toward me.
"He taught me a lot of things before you killed him." With my only free hand, I was able to reach my gun and shoot the man who'd slapped me in his back.
He screamed and a bullet went through my shoulder, sending me onto my back.
"Rude and rash," Scarlet said, kneeling next to me as I gripped my shoulder and fought the urge to scream.
"You'd better kill me now, Scarlet," I hissed up at her. "Or I swear to God, I will not rest until I take your head from your shoulders."
She pulled a gun and pressed it into my wound.
"You are a cub. I'm a lioness, sweetheart. Count your lucky stars you're not on my list today." With that, she shot me once more before rising.
The sun was in my eyes and all I could see was her shadow as she pulled off her white gloves.
"I'm your daughter…" I whispered as I started to fade.
"I never wanted you. I had orders. I followed them, and you were a side effect. No hard feelings." Another gunshot went off, but I didn't feel it. Everything went dark and all I could think of was…Lisa.
LISA
"Where is my wife?" I roared to the hospital nurse behind the desk.
"Lisa, breathe." Marco pulled me back as I tried to keep calm. But that was hopeless at this point. I could barely see straight.
"I am breathing, where the fuck is my wife?" I screamed again, pulling the very first nurse who came out.
She stared at me, wide eyed, buckling under my grip.
"My wife," I hissed into her face.
"I…I you're hurting me." She sobbed, trying to pull away.
"Lisa, they just took her to room 228," Nickhun called out and I ran. I ran like a man without his head.
I was going mad.
I knew it.
I could feel it.
One moment she was there, on the phone and the next, all I could hear were the windows shattering, the grating sounds of metal, and finally a chorus of screams.
Over and over again I called into the phone.
Over and over again I tried to get a message out to any of them, but nothing. For over two hours, we had nothing but radio silence. The GPS on all of our cars had been stripped. I demanded Jinx to take me to their last signal location, but she wasn't there.
It wasn't until my mother called, saying someone had leaked to the press about a car accident, that we were we able to find her. She was in some small rundown hospital on the edge of the city, and I didn't even know if she was alive, or…I didn't know anything. She wasn't answering my calls. Neither was my brother. But I knew this wasn't just a car accident. The bullet shells and Nancy's skull had proven that.
They had killed her. Two shots to the back of the head. That was now Nancy McDonie. Her body was found only two miles from the "accident" and the moment we found it, I feared what had happened to Jen… my Jen.
The moment I opened—more liked kicked down—the door, I came face to face with Bambam, who sat at her side; busted eye, broken ribs and arm. He looked like hell.
But Jen, who lay as pale as the sheet on top of her body, looked far worse.
"They fucked us, brother…" Bambam whispered. "Scarlet DeRosa and her men. They waited until we got Nancy and ran us off the road. It happened so fast. She shot Jen three times…I tried. I tried to get her, but Scarlet's men. She had the power to kill us. She could have killed us. She wanted us to know she could fuck with us. Us. We Manobans, she could bring us to our knees."
I grabbed his face, grabbing on to his hand before walking over to my wife. Sitting on the side of her bed, I brushed her hair back, trying my best not to imagine her being shot three times.
"Rest, brother," I said. "Rest long. Rest well. Because they will pay for this. I will make her suffer. I swear it. She thinks she can bring us to our knees, but she can't. No one can." I kissed Jen's lips before lying next to her and I felt myself calm at the sound of her heart.
Bambam looked as though he didn't believe me. Like he had seen the devil, and suddenly I didn't seem as scary anymore.
But this wasn't over.
This was far from over.
He shook his head before leaving, and I saw a flash of blonde hair that had to be his wife's.
"She was toying with me," Jen whispered, gripping onto my chest.
Pulling her closer, I kissed the top of her head. "I didn't know you were up."
"She played me like a child. She outdid me with ease, and left me on the ground powerless to stop her, Lisa. She…"
"Shh, love. Rest. Just rest. This isn't the end," I told her.
"It's not the end because she let me live."
The thought of her being "allowed" to live angered me like nothing else.
"Jen, rest," I hissed, holding her tighter.
Scarlet would pay. She would pay dearly. Nothing, not even God himself could stop me from getting revenge. But right now I needed to keep my wife calm. I need the family calm. We would come out on top. We were Manobans, no matter what, we came out better and stronger. We couldn't ignore this anymore. We couldn't ignore her.
You did not fuck with my business. You did not fuck with my brother, and you sure as hell did not fucking mess with my wife. There would be blood. It would rain blood until justice was met.
We were going to Thailand.
"Lisa," Jen whispered into my ear as I stroked her arm.
"Yes, love."
"…I'm pregnant again."
God had a twisted sense of humor.