Chapter 50: Year of Firsts - Recovery

Not one dared speak.

The very presence of the king entering the ill-kept room set the dwarves on edge, cowering behind shadows like a child being told no. Thorin's face grew taut as blue eyes that had once shown bright, dimmed with a coldness that sent chills down the spines of those who would dare challenge him. He surveyed all who stood before him.

Holding a meeting in secrecy was inexcusable. Toying with the fate of one of his people, a member of his Company, was infuriating. Still, he remained composed, albeit his wounds held him back from doing anything rash.

He whispered lowly to his youngest kin, a message for no other to intervene. Without another word, Kíli nodded in acknowledgement and strode towards Éla, beckoning her to follow in a whisper.

As the pair was ushered out, Thorin mouthed to Kíli, 'Stay with her.'

Once the echoes of their boots faded beyond reach, Thorin's full attention was back on those who deceived the line of Durin; for he had much to discuss with this lot.

"Now," Thorin took a seat at the head of the crumbled table which Fíli had vacated upon his known arrival, his hardened stare challenging any dwarf, opposite of festering wounds, "we have much to discuss."

The council seated themselves, clearly agitated by their low grumbles and grunts, signifying displeasure of staying longer than planned.

Thorin's pensive scan of those present told him all he needed to know. He waited, giving this broken council a chance to speak before pressing on.

"I have but one question: why exile?" He glared with intent.

"My lord, you should not bother yourself with matters of state until you are fully healed." Falo pointedly ignored the question. "That is our purpose, after all."

"You will show respect to your king." Fíli warned, his earlier temperament cooling

"I will not cast out my people into a raging storm." Thorin noted, bitterness hanging on the edge of his words. They were well into winter now and there were more important matters to deal with.

"Last I recall, you were not part of my Company to seek out the return of our homeland. So tell me, Falo, under what right do you have to strike one of my people?"

"A maiden no less!" Fili added, enthusiasm igniting pent up frustration.

Falo did not answer.

"Éla poses no threat." Thorin warned.

"Her actions were dishonorable."

Thorin shot him a deathly glare. Had he been in better health, fists might've been thrown. "My personal affairs are of no concern to you. You speak of honour?! Yet you sit here and continue to disgrace a member of my Company, question my authority."

Thorin rose from his seat, anger fueling his warning to those present. "I'm aware of your concerns. I've heard enough on my way here." He calculated their reactions carefully. "Know this; should anyone lay a hand on her again, I will see to it that you lose yours. Now go."

Faint scratches of quill on parchment filled the still air amidst clanging of coins and mumbled counts. Ori had been hard at work with his brother Nori in the treasury for the latter took it upon himself to begin sorting the great wealth of the chambers below in recent weeks. Ori swapped between journal writings from their ventures and recording tallies of coin and trinkets that his brother shared. There was no doubt the former thief smuggled an odd gold coin or two down his boot or pocket when prying eyes were off him. Dain had one of his accomplices aid with the reorganization of the gold hoard when he found several members of Thorin's Company down this way.

The two dwarves were also joined by Gloin, who had become a treasurer of sorts on their quest, keeping tabs on expenses.

Nori scratched his beard as he mumbled a large count to himself, calculating how many coins were rolled up in one of the many pillars surrounding the room, humming a tune as he went. Every once in a while, Gloin would pass along a note filled with markings to Ori to inscribe for the books. Piece by piece, gold was being added to endless rows around them.

It could take months, even years to sort through it all properly. For the time being, Nori seemed content to continue the task himself. Perhaps he'd receive a small cut for his hard work, not that anyone noticed the occasional jangles coming from hidden pockets.

"Nori!"

The call stopped him dead in his tracks as he was about to slip another small coin in his boots. Turning around to the source, he noticed Gloin at the top of the stairs outside the chamber, pointing right at him.

"Get a bucket."

Confused, the dwarf looked opposite him to a door ajar, full of tools and items useful to their job at hand. Breathing a sigh of relief, he gave the red-headed dwarf a thumbs-up and retrieved what was needed.

"It was so quiet, you scared the wits out of me!" He proclaimed, laughing off nearly getting caught red-handed as he passed an empty bucket to his comrade.

Gloin chuckled. "Aye, we could use more hands down below if ye can join us."

"On it." Nori saluted the dwarf as he went back for a second bucket. With no prying eyes on him, he shoved the coin hidden up his sleeve into his boot, grabbed the items needed, and followed after Gloin.

Passing the scribe's desk, he shot his younger brother a cheeky grin, who simply eyed him quizzily as the 'Ri brother disappeared from sight.

Little did the thief know, that Ori was deducting the count at every coin's disappearance. A deduction most likely reduced from his fourteenth share if Thorin ever found out. He laughed to himself and their little secret. Gold was plenty, so maybe, just maybe, no one would know.

Dain, Balin & Fili remained with Thorin as the councilors took their leave.

"Cousin, it is good to see you well."

"How much do they know?" Thorin asked straight away, sighing as one hand was placed above his belt, steadying himself as he lowered himself into the chair, the other raising to halt any assistance from the others.

"As much as I. Only speculations."

Thorin groaned in distaste.

"These...delicate matters must be resolved. The council does not trust her." Dain added.

"By what trust have you allowed them to stray, cousin?" Thorin spoke between clenched teeth. Anger boiling within his blood by deceit he had witnessed earlier. Dain was not to blame, not entirely, no. Still, the king required answers during his absence. Kili's words still rung in afterthought.

"Thorin, ya'll were wounded!" Dain exclaimed. "Secrets surround the lass. I have no means of getting between yer' business but we needed answers and no one would give it." After taking a breath, defeat plastering his expression, "Ye may be bound to each other, but yer not wed. She cannot be held as regent even if you do. Not like this."

Fili was puzzled by the Iron Lord's way with words. They were different from the common tongue spoken amidst the dwarves of the Blue Mountains. "I thought kings' wives were made regent by fault?"

"No, lad." Balin went on. "Should Thorin sire an heir, then, and only then, a king's wife may become regent if something befalls the crown."

"Aye, but only if his wife produces a son." Dain further added, gesturing towards the young prince. "Such as yer'self."

"Enough." Thorin said, tiring of this event.

Balin leant down, whispering inaudibly only for him to hear. Eyes narrowed and brow wrinkling as his friend shared a few words, and then faced Dain.

"There's no good dwelling on past ventures." Balin suggested. "What's done is done. Let us move forward in better light."

"If that's what ya want, I will stand by ye decision." Dain saw Thorin's wordless question and surrendered what they needed to hear. "Truly Thorin, you have my word."

"Will Falo be a problem?" Fili asked.

Dain laughed, shaking his head with confirmation.

"Would ye mind leaving us, lad?" Dain asked of Fili as he closed the distance to his cousin.

Thorin nodded, signaling for the young prince to take his leave. The firebearded dwarf waited long enough for privy ears to be far away.

"Now that that's settled. How much were ye told about yer lass?''

Thorin closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in hopes of ridding himself from this pestering headache of a discussion.

"What else do you know, Dain."

"Only that yer nephews protect her as if she were yer bride." Dain chose his words carefully. 'You're our king but by Durin what were ye thinking?! Her presence outside the safety of your borders is concerning. People will talk.'

"It was safer for her to travel with us rather than venture alone back to Ered Luin." Was all Balin felt compelled to add.

Thorin sighed. "What's done is in the past. The council has no right to exile her."

"Yer lass may be a beauty, but that won't save her." Dain placed a gloved hand on the table between them so they'd lock onto each other. He knew he needed to get through to his cousin before the council did another rash decision. "Thorin, even if ye take her to be yer wife, she cannot give you any bairns. Battle saw to that."

He allowed his words to sink in a moment further. "You have yer nephews yes, but you are our king now and yer both nearing the end of yer prime."

Thorin processed what was said. "The line of Durin is still secure." He glanced back to Dain again. "Fíli will be next as intended. As for Éla, she deserves more than to be met with banishment."

"To be honest cousin, I'm not one to ask about personal affairs but if the rumors are true," he scoffed in disbelief to himself, as if reliving the memory in that tent weeks ago was enough to send him back into battle, "ye need to talk with the lass because the way I see it, ye have a decision to make before the next caravans arrive."

"Dain, see to it that Falo..."

"Already on it." Dain waved farewell as heavy boots and clunked armour echoed down the halls in his leave.

Thorin exhaled deeply, not realizing he'd been holding it in. "Balin?"

The old dwarf patted his friend on the shoulder. "I'll see about keeping the council at bay. Take what time you need, lad."

The two vacated the room, hoping to seek those who've scattered.

Kili ushered after the female dwarf down corridor after corridor. He didn't know where she was headed and frankly, neither did she. He nearly lost her when they rounded a corner into an opened door as she hid inside. The young dwarf scanned the area that appeared to be a study. Shelves lined with rows of dusted books with a desk in disarray. Upon closer inspection, he saw that papers had been sifted and organized. Someone had been in here recently.

His attention shot back to Éla, who'd hissed suddenly.

Fingers shakily touched the point of contact which seared in pain upon contact from prior abuse. Éla found an abandoned fragment of what was once some kind of mirror, although the image reflected was distorted from the mangled cracks in its odd shape. She had hoped to inspect the damage to her face, although no skin had torn for blood had not been drawn. Her cheek just hurt, a lot.

Kíli began to fuss over her, rage building as he mumbled to himself about revenge. Éla whirled around to stop him, nearly colliding with the young prince, not realizing how close he was on her heel.

"How did you find us?"

Her question snapped Kíli out of his reverie. "What?"

"How did you know where we were? The council, they-"

"Thorin." It was Kíli's turn to show hesitance like a child caught red-handed. "Please don't be mad but I told him about the council wanting to send you away."

He appeared lost, unsure of himself now, his voice dropping quietly. "He knew where you all might've been, and I couldn't stand by and watch them do that to you. Not after what Fíli shared."

The dwarf prince stepped forward. "You're family."

"But I'm not, am I?" She shot back. Her harsh tone pierced him like daggers and she was immediately filled with regret. "I can't be..."

Sorrow filled the air between them.

Kili awkwardly stepped away, unsure of himself. "I'll be outside if you need me."

He left her alone in the solitary room as tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. She took a few shaky breaths, not knowing how to proceed. They were all doing their best and she kept pushing away anyone who dared to look after her amidst the chaos.

When she heard footsteps approaching she made for the door, readying herself to apologize to the prince. He meant well, and she was angry at herself for her short fuse towards everyone. Looking up from clasped hands, she wanted to make amends.

"Kili, I -" Words faltered in confusion as the dwarf standing in the doorway was not who she expected to see.

"Thorin..."

Éla averted her gaze, unable to look at him as he entered, shutting the door behind him with a small click so they wouldn't be disturbed.

He strode towards her but paused mid-stride as she backed away, unable to look at him directly.

"Éla?"

She took a deep, shaky breath, glancing over his wounds. He was heavily bandaged around his torso beneath his shirt, but it didn't seem to impair the dwarf's mobility as he slowly continued towards her.

"There's something you need to know.". Éla mentioned quietly. She was having trouble finding her voice amidst fears of rejection and dishonor now being in the presence before the King Under the Mountain.

"I..." When Thorin was an arms length away, she instinctively reached out a trembling hand to stop him where he stood, not wanting him any closer. His warmth felt nice to the touch. Éla sought the comfort he possessed but stopped, wishing she could be led back to the battle where death awaited her. This was never a situation she had wanted to unfold yet guilt suppressed her within.

"Fili told me everything." Thorin revealed calmly. Watching the misery which shrouded her as she fought against an unknown enemy. When she attempted to keep him at arm's length, he held her hand to his chest, shortening the space between them.

"I've done you wrong on so many levels, Éla." She shook her head at him, bowing in disagreement. "All I ask is forgiveness in due time."

"How much pain and suffering must one go through for a brief moment of happiness?" She whispered.

Thorin kept her close, never loosening his hold on her hand. He could feel her body trembling as he sought to embrace her as shaky hands clenched the fabric of his shirt. Whether it was out of happiness or something else, he wasn't entirely sure.

Without moving, Éla mustered the courage to say what troubled her to the core. In one small, quiet breath, she freed her subconscious mind.

"The healer's believed I was with child...although nothing was certain." She felt Thorin's body tense, not one word spoken. Éla waited for a response, a reaction, but Thorin didn't move a muscle. She feared looking up at him and yet he did not push her away.

Tears began to swell in her eyes, unable to contain the emotions she had bottled inside since she was told the news herself. In that moment, she gave up control as her body trembled with silent sobs, covering her mouth with a hand in hopes that it would give her some form of sway against these stray emotions. Thorin eased them to the ground. He couldn't hold her weight, not with damage to his side from battle.

"Do not blame yourself." He held her close to him, allowing her the much needed comfort.

Éla calmed herself as quickly as she could manage. Still, she was grateful for Thorin to allow her these moments of shattered barriers entwined in stolen consolation as he peaceably rubbed small circles on her back. Wiping away stray tears, she laughed at the thought of them sitting on the floor in a dusty old room. De-tangling herself from his sturdy embrace, she found what little courage and pride she had left and faced him as they rose to their feet.

"It might be for the best that I do leave." She suggested, looking for any sign of similar thoughts in her king, her sincere smile fading just as quickly as it came.

"Why do u stray from your heart?" He reached to wipe away the stains on her cheeks but she stopped him. Tears threatened to flood again and Thorin's heart ached from guilt to see her so broken by his actions.

"Thorin, can they?" Her voice quivered. She took hold of his sleeve. "Can they overrule you?"

"No." He responded firmly, wanting nothing more than for her to feel safe within their homeland. "-But they will make life difficult."

"Éla, if we do not wed properly you may become an outcast within this mountain."

"But you said-" He shushed her. "We have a decision to make. One that can't be taken lightly."

He stepped forward, knowing full well that she understood his implications.

"I'm undeserving of your presence, Thorin." Éla shook her head disapprovingly, voice cracking by the threat of losing control again. "I shouldn't be here."

"Éla, look at me." Thorin feared touching her, afraid she would slip from his grasp at any moment. He tried reassurance through his voice, remaining collected yet soothing. "I have no right to ask you to stay after all that's happened nor do I have such a right to ask anything more of you."

''I..."

"If you do not wish to stay, I will see to your safe return to the Blue Mountains."

Thorin moved closer, her glazed eyes finally meeting his in shock by the suggestion.

"They decided on exile?" She asked quietly, breaking away from his stare.

"That will not be your fate." Thorin gently lifted her chin so she would meet him again, sorrow and yearning showing through the gleam of his eyes as she questioned his intentions. "I can't lose you, not after everything that's happened."

"Could you learn to love me if I did stay, knowing I may never bare children?"

He cautiously reached for her hands, encasing them within his. She had every right to question him for his dragon-sickness had cast her aside. He wanted to show her his mending heart, give her all the comforts she desperately needed. "Barren or not, having you by my side till the end of our days would be more than I deserve."

"Was it not your desire to produce an heir if the mountain was won?" She questioned out of pain, allowing emotion to wash over her after years of hiding, her voice trembled from realization that she would be cast aside. "Kíli told me. Was that why you never married? You could not bring yourself to love another unless your duty was fulfilled?"

Thorin's expression twisted with hurt. She was well educated on the pressures that were bound to women and wives of royalty. He affirmed with a curt nod.

Her chest heaved in despair by the notion that this should never have happened. "If I stay I may not be able to be give you what you need as king."

"That matters not."

"I will soon be at the end of my prime, Thorin." She said shakily, inhaling the courage to continue. "It might be best that you find someone younger to-"

"Have you forgotten?" Thorin forced her to look at him, a tender smile comforting any doubts as he whispered a few phrases in Khuzdul. His reassurance was welcoming and Éla found herself being drawn back to him by sheer will as she leaned into his touch.

"Will you allow me to care for you?" Thorin asked as she closed her eyes, focusing on his warmth.

"We are but strangers in this new world." She responded, unsure of herself and her own desires. "Where does one learn to care for a king?"

Thorin contemplated her question a moment, pressing her hand flat above his beating heart. "In due time, all wounds will heal. Not everything is lost, Éla."

In truth, what has not yet passed still scared the female dwarf but Thorin's embrace convinced her that maybe, just maybe, they could find peace within each other. It would be a long road to recovery, but she was willing to try if he wished the same.

"You've already become a second mother to Fili and Kili from this venture." Thorin said playfully, relaxing a bit as he watched Éla's face brighten by the comment.

"They are your kin." She corrected.

Thorin chuckled. "They could be your nephews as well should you formally choose it."

A/N:

First of all, yes, f*ck Falo. I'd threaten a hammer to his head lol, but in a male dominated society, he does have some validity which I hope explained Thorin's stance on the matter. (Hell no to the violent backhand though...)

I also wanted to add that I enforced Dwarven courting traditions to be more public than intended. They're supposed to secretive, and I feel as if I failed that in earlier chapters...anyway, if you noticed the change with how I write Dain, that's due to researching the appendices on the Hobbit films. He has an Irish/Scottish accent so I tried to portray that properly going forward.

The wait might not be as long between newer chapters since I was writing backwards when filling in gaps for later content. (Most major scenes had already been pre-written before my hiatus, so that's helpful.)

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned! ^-^