Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

IMPORTANT A/N : Due to the coming exams, I might NOT be updating daily. Inconvenience is sorely regretted. Also, CAN ALL YOU #!$# OUT THERE UPDATE! It ain't easy thinking up moronic funny things to torture Naruto and co. with, ya'know!

BOOK 1: Ninja Kitsune: Promise Of A Lifetime

Blonde Pervert Caught Peeking! Injured By Angry, Naked Females Of All Ages Who Were In Hot Spring

Below was a picture of a burning pile of unrecognizable flesh with a large amount of blood splattered on the walls and ground.

Uzumaki Naruto, 5 ( above ), was caught peeking into the hot springs yesterday by an unnamed girl who kicked him straight through the wooden fence protecting the modesty of Konoha's female population...straight into the large busts of Mitarashi Anko, Tokubetsu Jounin. The famous female sadist was said to have been heard cackling evilly as screams of the young pervert rang through the air. Assaulted by nude females who were too busy torturing him to protect their modesty, he is said to have been knocked out by a massive nosebleed and had to be sent to the Konoha Hospital for emergency blood transfusion.

Iruka's laugh could be heard throughout Konoha, whoever had kicked him had just gotten his instant trust and heartfelt thanks. It was just so funny that he couldn't stop laughing. Eventually, one of his lungs imploded from lack of oxygen and he had to be sent for emergency treatment in the Konoha Hospital.

On the other side of Konoha, Hyuuga Hinata sneezed.

Chapter 6: Rivalry With Sensei's Lil' Bro!

I jumped from rooftop to rooftop as I attempted to escape from the mob of crazy females who wanted more revenge due to my peeking.

' They sure are persistent, aren't they? '

I jumped down an alley, quickly performed Kage Bunshin no jutsu and set my clones in different directions as I Henge into a small cat and hid myself. It worked.

' Thank Kami-sama! '

I continued on my way to the Academy as I once again cursed the $!# who caused my predicament, unaware of the Hyuuga Heiress sneezing in rhythm with every swear I could think of.

As I entered the class, having abandoned the Henge a while back, I was treated with the glares of every female. I sweatdropped.

' Damnit! Now they'll all be on guard around me and I can't grope them and frame others! GAH! I hate you, whoever-you-are! '

Hinata, who was watching the blonde from her seat near the back, sneezed again.

' Shimatta, I must have caught a cold... '

Our sensei, Iruka, walked in, smirking at me along the way, even though his torso was wrapped up in bandages due to who-knows-what.

" Okay, class! Today, I will be testing all of you on what you have learned in the past week. Also, due to a request by Hokage-sama, there shall be a Academy Tournament in one week! The winner of the tournament will receive a powerful, Raiton jutsu, which was offered by Kumo after their failed attempt to gain the Byakugan, for us to not declare war on them, and depending on your performance, you might get to skip first year and start at the second or third years. "

Instantly, everyone sat up straighter. The boys wanted that jutsu, to prove themselves to their crushes and friends, while most of the girls just wanted to impress their precious, they said, and I quote, " Sasuke-kuuuuun! "

' Cheh! What's so good about that homosexual pretty-boy anyway? I can beat him any day! '

That was a fact. I might not have enough chakra to do Katon: Karyuu Endan without the fox helping me but Katon: Ryuuka no jutsu is more than enough for the gay pretty-boy.

I smirked.

' I wonder how he'll like it if I burn off his clothes during the tournament? The girls will love it, that's a fact. '

" MuahahahaHaHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "

Everyone around me sweatdropped and inched away from me.

After school, Training Ground 13...

I walked towards my sensei for the last two years and bowed slightly.

" Naruto-san, for today, we will improve your stamina and chakra enough to use Katon: Karyuu Endan without your...tenant. "

" Hai, Itachi-sensei! "

And so we began...

Our relationship was strictly business, and we preferred it that way. Him, because he treats everyone the same way, while me because I don't like him much.

Itachi always seem to be keeping something from everyone, true or false no one knows, he just has that aura.

" ...Naruto-san, next you will do three hundred push-ups and sit-ups and punch the log a thousand times. "

...Did I mention that he was also a slave-driver?

After training, Uchiha Sector...

Young Sasuke ran into the house and searched all rooms for his prodigal brother, wanting the powerful teen to assist him in his training.

" Is something wrong, Otouto? "

" Aniki! There's an Academy Tournament in a week and I wanted to ask if you could train me! Can you? "

" Gomen, Sasuke. Naruto-san has already asked for me to train him during the week. Maybe next time. "

Sasuke's face darkened with his mood as he thought once again about Uzumaki Naruto. This wasn't the first time this had happened and young Sasuke was sure it wouldn't be the last. Everytime he asked his brother to train him, he would always go ' Naruto-san this, Naruto-san that ', and he hated it.

" Why can't you just tell him that you won't train him then! You're my brother, not his! "

Itachi's eyes narrowed.

It was yet another thing to hate this family for. As an Uchiha, his younger brother seems to think that everything should be handed to him on a silver platter., and he hated it. At least Naruto-san never whined nor complained.

" I'm sure Otou-san will be more than happy to train you, Otouto. "

With that said, the pride of the Uchiha's left the house.

During Naruto's training, Hokage Tower...

Sarutobi, Sandaime Hokage of Konoha, sighed, as he gazed upon the village from the balcony in his office.

Even though Naruto was now pretty famous among those of his age, he was still an outcast. The children seemed to have picked up their parents' hatred of Naruto and, being kids, naturally imitated them.

Sometimes, he wished he never agreed to once again taking over this job.

' Konoha is going to pay dearly if young Naruto fails to handle the hatred and snaps. If that does happen, I will not help Konoha. The villagers have dug their own grave and it would be their duty to get out of it. '

Sigh.

The venerable ninja turned around and stared at the picture of the Yondaime Hokage, his fallen friend.

" I am sorry, Arashi...I fear that this is not going to end well for both Konoha and your son. "