I had realllllyyy hoped this one wouldn't stretch over a year of writing but, here we are.

1 Chapter to wrap it all up and put it to bed. It's been a ride but, for me, once the angst is over I get bored. It is what it is. But what a ride!

I've been a little too busy to write, work has been crazy and I have a cat that can't see you on the phone because she gets pissy. LOL! I do have a new story lined up but I want to have several chapters put together before I post, it's another wild ride. ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter 44 - Consideration

Harm knew he wasn't a forgive and forget type of man. Certain things that had been done to him bore nothing but an undying contempt that would fester until it eventually exploded at the most inopportune times. He realized, working in Washington, he would often rub elbows with certain kinds of enemies but this one in particular was almost a ghost since his incarceration nearly four years prior. "Agent Gibbs."

"Commander Rabb." The silver haired man was dressed in his usual sports jacket, polo shirt and dark slacks. He had a small white bag in one hand and the other balanced a carrier with two cups of what smelled like coffee - a peace offering. They never came to an understanding and with his struggles trying to find Mac, Harm all but forgot the NCIS agent had a lot to atone for. "This is about four years too late."

"What do you want?"

"Don't tell me lawyers hold grudges."

Harm's jaw tightened, his mind flashed back to the hours he sat in the investigation room wondering how the hell his life took such a twisted turn. He could still see the way Gibbs was smirking, they had their man, the evidence pointed as much and without remorse, he sliced out his own verdict that could have landed Harm in prison for life.

What's worse - he could have been sentenced to death due to the heinous nature of Singer's murder. "Oh we do. Especially when we aren't given the benefit of the doubt."

"I follow the evidence and the facts all pointed at you, Rabb. It didn't help that you were acting guilty as hell."

The fingers on the doorknob tightened so much that it hurt Harm's hand. The anger he'd been taming breathed life, the want to strike and beat the man across from him to a pulp almost overridden any other senses. It was only after he thought of Mac and the mistakes they both made that Harm took a breath and reluctantly let the other man inside. "I'm gonna regret this but, come in."

Gibbs stood in the center of the apartment, his investigative mind churning as he looked around at the mix of Harm's belongings and that of a woman. He noticed the picture on the side table, an enlargement of the one taken outside the small church on the day of their wedding. The rumors were true. "How long have you been married to MacKenzie?"

"About four years."

"So you were married during the Singer case?" Gibbs was surprised given how, during an interview the woman did not act like a concerned wife, just an upset colleague.

"Just a few months, yeah. I asked Chegwidden to keep her away, he didn't really understand the reason but I didn't want her involved. No one knew we were married."

"Isn't that a no-no, fraternization?" Off of Harm's shrug, Gibbs raised his burden and motioned towards the dining table. "Coffee and some pastries, you can assume it's an olive branch while we talk about a few things."

Harm shoved his hands in his pockets, a visible sign that he was still uncomfortable with the other man. The years hadn't done much to improve the disdain for NCIS or how they had stepped into far too many of his cases for Harm's liking. "Is an apology one of those things?'

"No. The evidence against you was staggering."

"I…" Any defense fell short when Harm began to recall the way he treated Lauren. While she wasn't a favorite at JAG, he considered his ire at any man even speaking of Mac in a derogatory form, let alone grabbing her arm forcefully. He acted like a righteous, pompous ass and it was all for naught. "I guess it didn't help that she wasn't well liked at headquarters. Singer was too ambitious, would do anything to be at the top, left a lot of people bruised along the way. But, she didn't deserve what happened."

"Is that remorse?"

Harm shook his head. He had little time to think about Singer's death because the moment he was let out of the brig, Mac was leaving and he would soon follow. After that his preoccupation began and ended with finding her. He didn't think about Singer's death, how she was discarded like garbage, he only thought about the acts that incarcerated him. Now, he felt numb. "No, it's shame. Maybe I could have helped her. Hell, I tried before things got so jumbled. My approach wasn't the best."

"Can't say I liked your methods but, I understand wanting to protect your brother."

The two men sat at the dining table in an odd kind of silence. Not uncomfortable but not familiar either when Harm decided to take the peace offering while he mulled over the unexpected visit. "Did you just come to bring me breakfast or-"

"I'll cut to the chase; heard you resigned. Why?"

Harm chewed on his croissant thoughtfully. "I did it to find my wife. Mac was taped to help the CIA, the assignment went south, she fell off the radar along with the officer that dragged her along...Figured if anyone could find her, it's me…"

"And you obviously did."

"About a minute away from being tortured." That image was permanently seared in his brain, seeing Mac tied to some table with a crude instrument of pain just a foot away. She had been struggling against the restraints when he broke in and that look in her eyes, a mix of fear and shock would haunt him for all time. If Harm had been a minute too late….he took a breath and tried to get that gruesome thought out of his head.

"The mission didn't go well, she and her partner were set up. We almost made it out...almost." Harm raised his shirt, exposing the wounds he'd bare for life. Bullet wounds and surgical scars that he wore like a tattoo, his daily reminder to never take his wife for granted again. "I was left for dead and she was taken."

Gibbs hid his cringe, he'd seen enough war wounds during his time as a Marine and these scars he was too familiar with. "That explains why you were in the hospital. I was told that you had an accident and that recovery would be long. I hate to ask but how are you alive?"

Harm wondered the same. "I don't know. I remember getting shot...I died. I know I died." There was a moment where his life was suspended in a kind of limbo, one where he pleasantly lived with Mac. It was a place he chased to keep the pain away until he was thrust back to reality to find Mac gone.

"Are you alright now?"

"Rehab was a bitch but, I haven't felt this good in years."

Gibbs took a sip from his coffee knowing that Harm's story had several missing parts. Everyone related to the military in some way knew that the Commander's partner was missing, if not killed in action. There was a fabricated story, of course, one that had MacKenzie never returning after a JAGman investigation. "And your wife? I know she was recently found."

"My wife-" Harm stalled. Farid Ahmadi was never too far from his mind or the lasting effects despite Mac's ongoing therapy. Part of him believed the Iranian would one day jump out at them like a bogeyman; the other part was still healing - the one that needed to trust his wife. "My wife lost her memory and married another man."

Gibbs nearly choked on his coffee, "What?"

"Parts are classified but, in a nutshell-" He told Gibbs what he could, how three years of searching led to nothing more than dead ends and bad leads. A new commission and command was waived in hopes that staying in Washington would help find his Marine. "I was in Paris, walking the streets alone when I found her."

The eyes without a face, a hue he'd never forget that would have Harm divulge his and Mac's secret marriage. "It was a chance encounter, she didn't recognize me. The agency helped me rescue her and it took some time for her to remember."

"I know she spent time with Farid Ahmadi." Off of Harm's shocked expression, Gibbs only shrugged. "One of the members of my team helped Webb extract her and you. Not everything is as classified as they say."

"So I've learned."

"How is she doing?"

Honestly? Harm wasn't sure, she seemed to have rotated back rather well minus a few hiccups and fears. Mac was adjusting and he was splitting at the seams. "She wants to move forward and going back to JAG will do that. Mac's always been the better lawyer and I-"

"-You have a job with NCIS if you want it." Gibbs suddenly said. He expected the Commander to be surprised and wasn't mistaken by the way Harm's mouth simply hung open.

"What?"

"I need someone new on my team. Fresh blood that knows investigations. You've always been JAG's go to for those things."

Certainly he wasn't hearing right. A man who had tried to pin a murder on him couldn't now offer a position in his group. NCIS and JAG never played well together, the investigative unit had clearance and authority that was often hard to challenge. "You want me to work for you?"

"Yes," Gibbs nodded. "I spoke to the SECNAV, you'll keep your commission, even climb up the ladder somewhat. Consider it a liaison between the NAVY and NCIS."

Harm squared his eyes, looking for any signs that this was a maligned joke of some sort. As a lawyer, he knew when people lied and at the moment, Gibbs was an open book. "Would I get to carry a firearm?"

"Once you qualify, yes but not in uniform."

"Why are you doing this?"

Gibbs sighed heavily. It was Ted Lindsey's case that was up for appeal which made him curious about Harm's whereabouts. There had been chatter about his missing partner, even more now that she came home. But the Naval officer had little mention. No more glowing reviews in the Times, only silence and after some snooping, he knew why. "We need you and I suspect you need us. I know the review board will let you back but you can't go back, which is why you resigned."

"I'm a lawyer not a cop."

"You're more than just a lawyer. And I owe you, don't I?"

Harm chuckled and his eyes found a light that only glowed in Mac's presence. "I'm in therapy, Gibbs and the review board hasn't cleared me for shit."

The other man had pushed himself away from the dining table and was halfway to the door when he turned to face Harm. "I can speed up the review board with just one call and as for therapy, take your time, just don't bring your baggage to work."

"Gibbs, I didn't say yes."

"Talk to your wife. I'll see you on Monday at 8am sharp." And with that, he left Harm to decide his future once again.

"You're good at this, you know?"

Harm grinned, compliments from his new partner were few and far between. The Marine was a tough cookie who expected a lot of herself and equally the person she worked with. Mac had an impressive mind, one that was keeping him on his toes. He liked that and loved working with her.

"Good at what? Lawyering?"

"Hah, no. In court you take the bleeding heart approach. I prefer to let the law dictate right or wrong."

"I search for the truth, Major."

She rolled her eyes and offered a sweet smile he had started to see more of. He liked that too, it made her eyes light up. "Some clients manipulate your so-called truth...And I mean investigations, the ones where we get to play detective..You're good at those, you think outside the box and your knowledge of aircraft...I have to admit, I'm impressed."

Harm felt something then, butterflies in his stomach that he ignored because he was determined not to ruin another partnership. He liked that she was impressed by something he did, it showed he was finally breaking through Mac's tightly guarded walls. Maybe he wasn't so 'overrated' after all.

He considered an arrogant response, the kind that would make him seem like a cocky jerk. Her smile and the sincerity in her pretty eyes. "Thank you, Mac. I appreciate it...Tell you what, when we wrap up this case, I'll show you around and F-14. There are a few spots that are important for these cases. If you're interested, maybe I'll take you up sometime."

"You'd do that?"

"I would under one condition: show me how you do that time thing."

Mac's laugh was contagious, especially because he knew his request would lead to nothing. "Sorry, flyboy, no can do."

"Why not?"

"I have to keep some secrets to myself."

Harm could swear she was flirting by the way she tapped his chest with her finger and walked on with a certain sway of her hips. As he stared at Mac's retreating form her deceased doppelganger all but disappeared.

He smiled at that memory, the casual flirting that they shared from the very beginning. As usual he lamented not pursuing her sooner, it would have stopped so much pain and heartache. He shook his head of those thoughts, choosing to consider Mac's compliments on his investigative skills.

Harm knew he had a good handle on interviewing witnesses, years as a lawyer had sharpened his instincts. And Mac was right, he had a knack for analysis and enjoyed it far more than the courtroom.

What held him back from accepting was his disdain for NCIS and how they'd failed him twice. He spent a few weeks locked up over letters an agent didn't understand and his closeness to the victim. Diane's murder was blamed solely on him and salvation was found only at Chegwidden's intervention. If not, Harm would have spent his life in prison.

He could help fix those mistakes and protect the innocent. He may even bump into former coworkers and colleagues, aid them in convicting the right culprit. But he wouldn't do anything without consulting his wife. And there was still the impending review board to consider along with the SECNAV who'd undoubtedly stick his nose into matters that didn't concern him.

Harm let out a frustrated sigh and then raised himself out of the chair. Once Gibbs left he tried to muddle through more case files but he couldn't focus. The words blurred and after reading the same sentence five or six times, Harm simply gave up and began to pace and pace and pace, eventually changing into his running clothes.

As his feet pounded the pavement he considered pros and cons, weighed any decisions that could tip the balance either way until he felt like a lion in a cage. Harm long since had lost his passion for the law and though he still won a fair share of cases, the edge was gone.

Working for NCIS could revive the parts of him that died, giving him a new purpose. Maybe even make him a better man for her. So what if he was starting over again? This time the change wouldn't be as abrupt. If Mac didn't agree, he wasn't sure what he'd do and so he ran a little farther until he was too tired to go on.

Mac sighed heavily when she reached the door to their apartment. While the day hadn't been quite as long, she was exhausted. Reviewing files for the last several days had begun to take its toll on her although she couldn't really understand why. She supposed it was a direct correlation to the last 3 years being sedentary. As much as Harm had helped her get back into some sort of presentable shape, there was still much work to be done.

Her refusal to quit despite the headache that had etched a pained demeanor across her face, was not taken well by Chegwidden who sent her home once he noticed she was practically lethargic. "I'm fine, sir."

"No Colonel, you're not. Tomorrow's a new day. I'm ordering you to go home to your husband."

It made her feel like a failure although realistically she was nothing of the sort. Mac knew she'd be recovering for a time, slipping on the uniform was not enough to make her super human. Even Harm had taken months of strength work to be accepted back. Although her wounds were mostly emotional, those often bore the longer scars.

She stepped into their apartment, figuring she'd find him still pouring over investigations and murder trials. His case had been mostly under scrutiny seeing Caroline had been fired and a civilian lawyer - Sarah MacKenzie - had taken over and won.

They both found Caroline's defense to be lacking, pointing to a novice attorney when he needed someone with sharp legal prowess. In the end, Harm forgave but Mac never forgot despite having a kind of friendship with the woman.

Files were spread across the dining table along with remnants of croissants and a half drunk cup of coffee - two, one of which did not belong to her. They had a visitor and Mac hated the way the hair suddenly stood up on her neck. She trusted her husband, Harm would never by the kind to stray but for the briefest of moments, she wondered. "Harm? I'm home."

There was no sound when she called out for him a second time but the movement on the balcony and a sudden scent of cigar smoke brought her to the double French doors where her husband stood hunched over the railing.

He had stopped smoking years earlier, stating it had become too much of an addiction although Harm did imbibe time and again, once or twice a year as far she recalled when he was a bit stressed. "Hey."

"Oh...hey." Harm jumped as she pushed the door open. He started guilty at the cigar and then up at his wife who scrunched her nose at the offending smell. "Mac, I'm sorry...thought you'd come home later..I know you don't like the smell, I-"

Her hand pressed against his back, that same delicate touch that was like a calming balm. She felt the air woosh out of his lungs, felt him take a breath and Harm's defensive posture all but erased. "It's okay. You don't need to hide it from me."

"You hate it."

She nodded softly. "I hate the smell. But, as long as you keep it outside and don't make it a habit we'll be fine."

"It won't be a habit." He promised and took a quick puff before smothering the rest into an ashtray. "Your home early...really early. Did something happen?"

"Chegwidden literally told me to come to you."

"Why?"

"I'm exhausted." Mac shrugged, it was difficult to admit knowing Harm would be concerned. "I'm just reviewing cases, rubber stamping and I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

Harm turned to her, his hands coming to her shoulders which he rubbed gently. "Maybe you started too soon?"

"I couldn't wait anymore. You have to understand that."

He did because his own waiting game was making him anxious. "I do. But, it's only been a few days, don't be frustrated. You'll get your swag back."

She almost moaned as his hands squeezed a little tighter and his body moved closer. The headache was magically going away, her tension vanished enough that Mac's irritation was gone as well. "Chegwidden wants me to sit second chair on Bud's case next week. It's amazing how far he's come."

"Mmm. We taught him well, too well. He's got your legal prowess and my sense for impassioned pleas. He's unassuming with that bumbling Bud routine...He's dangerous."

"So I heard. They want us to come over, Bud and Harriet, have a little get together with everyone."

That made him stiffen and his hands stopped suddenly. "No...Not yet." He chewed his lower lip and began to slowly work her shoulders again. "I still feel like a live wire sometimes."

"Is that why you were smoking?"

"No." He deadpanned and dropped into one of the two chairs on the balcony. Harm pressed his elbows against his knees, scrubbed a hand over his face and wondered if this was all too soon for both of them. He could feel Mac's eyes on him, sense that concern and with a huff he spoke. "Gibbs came to see me."

"Gibbs? NCIS Gibbs?" Off his nod, that apprehension returned in full force and she could recall Harm being arrested, the imposed 'no contact' order which left her desperate to see him. The events that followed would never leave her mind and she was scared that some anomaly could take Harm away from her again. "Should I be concerned?"

"I don't know. He came to offer me a job."

Mac noticed how his chest rose after he spoke, like a decision had been made by his part and he waited on baited breath for her approval. He seemed apprehensive, shoulders slightly slumped but when his eyes met hers they were an icy blue, crisp and hopeful. He wanted this, she could tell. He needed it as much as she needed JAG because even with her exhaustion, the work gave Mac a purpose she'd been lacking with Farid. "Did you accept?"

"Not without running it by you." He shrugged and that cute, little boy smirk spread across his lips. "We're married, isn't that one of the things we should talk about?"

She grinned, the man could be so darn adorable sometimes. "I think you made up your mind."

"It's attractive, yeah."

"Then do it. Who knows? We may even wind up working on the same case together."

"You're sure?"

Was she? No but, part of her therapy was accepting that life could never go exactly as planned and that was okay. This was a chance for him to have purpose and she welcomed it especially if it made him smile like he did. "I am."

"I'm going to miss working with you everyday." He said solemnly and reached a hand for hers, squeezing gently as her delicate fingers threaded with his. "That was the best part of JAG, you."

"I already miss that but, I like the trade off: I get to come home to you and not an empty apartment. This has a lot of possibilities." Mac decided, considering that they could never take leave at the same time due to staffing needs and lack of competent senior officers. That would change, vacations would be possible and maybe a few weekend getaways. "We can actually go out as a couple and not worry about fraternization."

Harm nodded, the idea of showing her off made him smile. "Call Harriet when you get a chance, tell her we'd love to come over." The look in her eyes made something split open in him, a joy he'd been lacking for reasons he couldn't understand. Yes, he still had a few hurdles to jump over but, at the least, they didn't feel as insurmountable.