The day we received the news of their death was one of the worst days we experienced as a family.

Mister Silver and Miss Mika came over to the house with Gray.

Karissa was sobbing in Mika's arms.

Pandora just sat on the couch next to Silver with a blank expression.

I sat next to Gray who quietly took in the sight of our broken states.

How was I feeling?

I don't really remember. All I know is that I felt useless and sad when I saw my sisters express their own version of sadness. I could only sit there and observe. I felt like a spectator of a theatre piece.

It wouldn't be long until Karissa began crying in her room as she tried to muffle her cries. As an older sibling, even I couldn't find a way to console her. Pathetic, really.

Even when Gray dropped by to try and help her come out of her room, she'd just refuse him and tell him to go home. He always looked disappointed that he couldn't do anything to help her. But he would still keep trying either way. I'm pretty sure Mister Silver told him not to be too pushy about it because he didn't show up everyday.

One day, when it was snowing, Gray finally persuaded her to come out of her room. I watched from the living room window as they walked together in front of the house, making footprints in the snow. What a boring activity. I could see him talking to her as he walked by her side while she just stared at her feet. I thought that would at least help her in some way. But alas, the wounds were still so fresh and she started crying again, outside in the cold. I could only fist my hand in the pillow I held and watched as Gray hesitantly hugged her while she kept her hands over her face, trying to veil away her tears.

It was around that time that Pandora started asking Miss Mika some lessons on how to cook. I don't know if she cried or not because she usually just locked herself in her room, trying to avoid as much contact as possible. Her case was even worse than Karissa's back then. But even so, I could tell she was just trying to keep herself occupied by cooking because she still looked spaced out most of the time.

And then there was me.

Useless.

At this rate, nothing was improving. We were all still stuck in a pit of devastation after losing our parents, trying to grasp onto whatever we could to keep us afloat.

No one was strong enough to carry on and help us move forward even with Gray's parents helping us.

But someone had to do it. Someone had to set aside what they felt for the purpose of keeping things together. In order to quell the despair that was weighing heavily on their shoulders, someone had to come back and give comfort.

A mirage.

I sat in my room, in the dark, at night, sitting on my bed with the blankets over my head. The tall mirror hanging on the wall in front of me reflected my image.

"Good morning." I tried with a lighter tone.

Not good.

"Good morning." I repeated.

Try again.

"Good morning."

Still not good.

I kept trying to change the tone in my voice to make it sound a little less… immature.

"Who wants hot chocolate?"

"You look pretty today."

"Did you enjoy your meal?"

"Let's go to the park."

"Sweet dreams."

"I love you."

…

…

…

I implemented this new tone in my daily life while also adjusting a few things. I certainly got some weird looks about it and was asked about it, but I would just smile and tell them that they were just imagining things. At first, it made Pandora a little annoyed for some reason, she once walked out of the kitchen and locked herself in her room while Karissa looked a little solemn. I didn't like it, and I almost dropped it all together when I saw that it was doing no one any good. But as time passed, they had grown accustomed to it and grew to like it. I was overjoyed. My efforts were finally paying off. I couldn't take all the credit for it though since Pandora started doing more for us as the oldest sibling.

She was young yet she proved herself capable of taking on a job to earn us money. We couldn't keep relying on the funds left behind while also relying on Gray's family.

I could only provide a familiar comfort and happiness to keep things what we called 'perfect' at that time.

I loved how I became a source of comfort at home.

"Are you okay?"

I looked at Miss Mika with a curious expression. I cocked my head to the side as stopped cutting the carrots with her. "What do you mean?"

"… I'm worried about you." She admitted, pulling away from the stove to face me. She got down on her knees and then placed her hands on my shoulders. "I've never seen cry or express anything when your parents died. Have you expressed how you felt?" she wondered.

Grieving, huh?

I lowered my head and just blinked slowly at that question. How could I properly answer this without making her worry? Miss Mika was a nice lady; I didn't want to her to be worried about me when she was already going out of her way to help us.

I turned my head to look outside the window of the backdoor. I saw Mister Silver, Gray and Karissa sitting together and laughing about something I didn't know about. Pandora wasn't with them, she was out working at the grocery store. I had to make sure a meal was ready for her. Miss Mika was helping out because I was very inexperienced in cooking.

"You have to understand that grieving is good for you."

I understood her concerns, truly.

Of course, it was odd that I simple bounced back with a smile and tried to cheer everyone up.

But that was my way of keeping things together for their sake, and my own.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm okay, really." I grinned. "I just want to keep Pandora and Karissa happy since things are hard."

A sympathetic expression graced Miss Mika's face. She softly stroked my cheeks with her thumbs, they felt very soft and comforting. I couldn't help but remember how my own mother used to hold my face. The memory of her flashed in my mind, almost taunting me to break down in tears right then and there. But I refused to let it win.

I am in control.

"You're such a nice boy."

"Heheh, thank you."

We struggled financially so we couldn't even afford to buy groceries in our own town. We had to go to the next town to buy some that were cheaper to make it easy on the money. Honestly, there was a town before the next one that sold even cheaper food, but we just didn't want to spend too long away from home.

"If you behave, I'll ask sis to buy you something cool. So just behave and focus on getting better, alright?" I told my little sister as I affectionately ruffled her hair with a jovial smile. She could only nod sleepily in her state, dazed.

Karissa couldn't come with us because she caught a fever, poor thing. I really wanted to stay home and take care of her but I knew our older sister needed help carrying the groceries home. It was tough. I'll always be grateful for Miss Mika and Mister Silver for being there for us. They were really too kind. Much like my older sister, I tend to feel bad for relying on them too much.

"I want a mango." she mumbled.

Mangoes were her favorite fruit. If I could, I would spoil her and buy two. But I knew better than to spoil her. Girls who get spoiled while growing up don't learn how the real world works. However, I don't think Karissa adopted any bratty behaviour because our mother never gave in to her demands just because she was a child. My father sided with my mother most of the times, but there were times where he gave in for the little things. I wanted to do the same with the mangoes.

I couldn't help but chuckle and poke one of her soft cheeks for being adorable.

"We'll get you one, don't worry." Pandora giggled at the simple request.

Silver put his hands on his hips. "You kids be careful out there, okay?"

"We will, sir!" I grinned while making a salute.

…

…

…

I never thought that leaving without Karissa that day would result into another state of devastation.

We came back home and saw what was left of what we called home. Any structure that was left standing was either half destroyed or barely hanging on as it was on the verge of collapsing. A sigh could echo in this destroyed town.

My older sister dropped everything and ran into the ruins of our home. The apples we bought just rolled out of the bag and onto the some ashes.

"P-Pandora! Wait!" I shouted as I hurried to pick up the bags and set them upright so that nothing else would fall out. I clumsily straightened up and ran after her. I wondered if she even knew where she was going considering how there were no directions anywhere, we might as well have been running in the dark. My eyes witnessed the blood and dead bodies laid around the area, pitiful souls who couldn't escape whatever came to wreak havoc on our hometown. There were also some people alive who were crying over some bodies. I figured they escaped doom when it came.

With a gulp, I turned my attention on Pandora, the only person so active in their movements in this scene that breathed destruction. And I have no idea how she did it, but she managed to find the Fullbuster residence. I was amazed that she was still able to make use of the mental map she had of the town to find her way there. I knew it was the right house because their mailbox was miraculously intact.

The house of the Fullbusters was absolutely wrecked, and I was scared to get near it.

There was dead people everywhere.

And I didn't want to see Miss Mika or Mister Silver's bodies. I don't know if I would be able to swallow the sight.

But I still had to help my sister look through the rubble. I got a splinter or two in my fingers but that didn't matter. I had to help find Karissa and bring her back to us. That was the only thing that mattered to both of us. We had to find her somehow.

We couldn't find her among the rubble.

"No, no, no…!" Pandora clutched her head and gritted her teeth. "Okay… we need, we- we need, we…." She stammered, trying to calm herself before she started bawling on the spot. I was worried about her. The memory of Pandora looking spaced out and withdrawn flashed in my mind, and I wanted to stop it somehow. The world was crashing around us again.

"Okay…" I got down on one knee and held her shoulders when she kept staring at some broken wooden beam. "Don't lose hope yet… there should be a place where survivors go." I looked around and pointed at the people who were alive. "Some of those guys lived here too and they're alive. So, there must be a place- a shelter, right?"

Pandora stiffened, her hands loosening. "… Y-Yeah… you're right…" she swallowed, nodding a few times as my words registered in her brain. "She should be at a shelter…! Mister Silver and Miss Mika aren't here so they must be alive somewhere."

I kept her from crying. I gave her hope. I kept it together.

But that didn't last long.

I watched her fall apart when we couldn't find her at the shelter. She was shaken to the core. Her face was the colour of despair.

"Karissa…!" she managed to breathe out through her hiccups. "No…!"

This time, instead of using words, I simply held her to me to try and console her. It wouldn't be easy, but I still had to try. Her sobbing was muffled in my sweater as I rubbed my hand on her back. I don't know how much time had passed. She eventually pulled away to look up at my face. I was the younger brother but I was still taller than her without my growth spurt.

"Aren't you sad…? We just lost our sister..."

Sad? I suppose I am.

"But I don't like seeing you sad." I admitted, reaching up to wipe her tears away. Pandora's eyes widened, very slightly. "So, I have to be strong and keep it together for the both of us."

"I don't get you… you should be crying…!"

I honestly thought I was sad, that I was trying to be strong. That's what I truly believed. But I was proven wrong.

Apparently, she was safe. She and Gray were safe. All this time, when we were preparing to move to Fiore, a place my parents once spoke of, to start anew together, she was well.

They were taken in by a mage who took them on as their apprentices. That person's name was Ur.

She let us enter her home and we saw her sitting on the floor, drawing on the coffee table. Gray was there too. There was another boy there who I didn't recognize. She didn't see us enter because she was so focused but the two boys most certainly did. She was clean and in perfect shape. She was safe.

Pandora dropped her backpack and exclaimed her name. It took a moment for Karissa to lift her head and look up, her face expressed immense surprise mixed with confusion. But she dropped what she was doing to move around the table and run into Pandora's arm, sobbing into the comfort of family.

I couldn't believe it. She was alive.

And that's when I felt it.

The emptiness that I mistook as my strength to stay strong was being filled. My fingers trembled when I began to recognize what was going on inside me.

I began to tear up when I stepped closer to them.

I am so fixed on them.

I don't want to feel empty again.

It's been several years since we moved to Fiore and joined the Fairy Tail guild. It was the best idea Pandora came up with. Living here was more pleasant than living back in Iceberg for the obvious reason that we we're actually living with more money. People like to tell me that money isn't everything, but in our case, it certainly was most of the time.

I was eighteen and I was content with life. I made friends at the guild and learned more about my parents who were apparently a big deal with this world of magic. When I first joined, I often got remarks about how I resembled my father. We had the same eyes. Learning about this made me feel much closer to him.

But throughout the years, I developed a quick temper. I don't know how I ended up like this. I just know that sometimes, letting out my anger made me feel so free.

My sisters were doing well in terms of their magical abilities that was gifted from our parents. The two of them were very strong so I didn't have to worry about the danger they had to encounter on jobs. Karissa had two types of magic since she trained with Ur. Speaking of Ur, she died. Gray showed up at Fairy Tail sometime after we did and he told her that she had sacrificed herself to seal away that accursed demon that wrecked our hometown.

Pandora was a strong woman. I couldn't be any more proud of her for becoming the strong mage she was today. She even became an S-Class mage at the age of seventeen. She and Laxus were the only ones who passed the exam on the year X778. Speaking of Laxus, I think he might have a thing for her. I see the way he looks at her when he thinks no one is looking. It made me feel scared for Pandora. They always used to be at each other's throats with the arguing. But the more I catch Pandora and Laxus talking amicably and having lighthearted bickering, I can't help but think she would be safe and respected with him. She deserves only the best after all.

As for Karissa, she's strong in her own way but has an anxiety to deal with. I have no idea where it sprouted it from. It came out of nowhere and just hindered her. She would often be withdrawn from the crowds and stay in her corner. In no way was she totally anti-social though because she still talked with her friends. Cana and Gray were able to go easy on her when they saw how hard it was for her. At first, Gray was quite the jerk and basically sent her away with her tail between her legs when he called her silly for being so isolated. Cana was the one who gave him an earful and told him not take it so lightly. Ever since then, her close friends were patient and understanding with her. I really hoped she became less withdrawn one day. I wanted her to be more open with others instead of staying away from them. I try my best to help her too, as I should be doing.

Gray and Karissa were much closer compared to when we were younger. I wondered if they would one day fall for each other.

I would feel at ease if it was him.

…

…

…

"What are you talking about?" I gasped.

"What? It's the truth." Karissa huffed and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Nu-uh." I stood up and pulled her off couch of our living room. We were all finally living together again after a few years of living in a dormitory. I dragged her to the bathroom and made her stand in front of the bathroom sink. With my hands on her shoulders, I looked at her in the mirror with a stern look.

"What's there not to like about you?!"

"I don't have to name it… It's pretty obvious." She rolled her eyes. "You're just bias because I'm your sister."

"No way." I released her to stand with my arms crossed. "I'm telling you, you're not ugly! You're a very pretty girl! You just don't have confidence."

"…"

I got her there.

"You're strong, amazing, pretty, talented and smart." I told her sincerely. "All those things makes you unique and beautiful."

I could see her become embarrassed from the words that spilled from my mouth. She told me to stop, saying that she understood and that it was enough. I knew that was just a lie to get me to stop talking. No matter. If she dared say negative things about herself like that in front of me again, I would continue to incite self-love for her until she finally got the message.

"S-Class? No need."

Pandora crossed her arms behind the counter, displeased with my nonchalant attitude. I casually smiled at her as I ate my slice of pizza. We were talking about our jobs and how our skills were improving until she decided to bring up my status as a regular mage after I recounted a feat from one of my jobs. It was impressive. I had stopped a clan of giant ogres who were disrupting the peace in a nearby town. The job was meant for a team of three but I proved them wrong by dealing with it myself. I sent those annoying pests running for the mountains.

"You are more than capable of taking on the S-Class exam." She told me with a deep frown.

"Yeah, and I can see how much work it must be. When you first started taking jobs, you were completely exhausted."

"That's because I wasn't used to it." She defended.

"Right. and I'm not ready for that just yet." I said while plucking off a piece of green pepper from my food. "I still need to get some personal things done before I can let myself become an S-Class mage." I smiled before biting the green vegetable.

"So, you're still going to tell Master Makarov you won't take it this year?"

"Bingo." I playfully stuck my tongue out.

"I don't get you." Pandora huffed, walking off to the bathroom.

Ever since I was sixteen, I was selected to be a candidate for the S-Class exam. But for three years in a row, I refused to take part of it. I was nineteen this year and I was still going to refuse it.

Master Makarov could try and persuade me all he wanted, but I would still turn down the opportunity.

I simply couldn't take the exam because my younger sister wasn't selected yet. It was my role to ensure that she achieved her rank. As much as I wanted to play the role model, Pandora already secured that role once she became an S-Class mage. So what could I do?

Easy. Support.

He had never told anyone about that. He would never dare to because it was only meant for him to know and understand. Only he could fully comprehend his motives, and he wanted to keep it that way.

But there was one person who was an exception.

He couldn't help it.

She was just the kind of person that people could let their guard down around. Her kindness and caring persona gently lowered his guard and he didn't even realize it.

"For your sisters?" Mirajane lightly laughed at the reason. It was such a kind reason. She always saw him as the kind of person who would help his sisters no matter what, always pushing them forward to be great. But even with that kindness… something was weird. "You're always there for them. It's so sweet." She gave him his drink with a pleasant smile.

"What can I say? I just love them."

"But you know, when I see you like that, I can't help but think that you're there but at the same time you're not."

He froze and stared at the white haired mage, his hand frozen just as he was about to grab his glass. Mirajane blinked at the flustered look on his face, she couldn't understand why he suddenly stared at her like she offended him immensely. She was about to say his name when she saw him just staring but not looking at her.

However, he just got up and left his seat, running away, leaving his drink behind and untouched.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that she chose Gray as her partner for the exam.

In no way did I dislike my old friend, but I felt like I should have been the one to help her become an S-Class mage. It didn't matter if I became one too in the process. But I didn't want to show off an ugly side of myself and force her to choose me instead. So, I chose to have faith in those two. They looked determined to pass the exam together.

But, they failed during the second test against Pandora. When I heard about that, I honestly wondered if I could have helped her passed the second test if I was chosen as her partner.

So, I trained even harder.

I needed to make sure she passed her exam the next time she was chosen.

"Haaah… Haaah…"

I clutched my shirt where my heart was after stumbling into my room, locking the door behind me.

Karissa nearly died on her job and she wouldn't have survived if Gray wasn't with her.

When I heard the news, I disappeared from the guild and went straight home to try and get a grip. One of my anchors keeping me afloat nearly died and I couldn't do anything about it. Oh, it was so terrifying. I am on the verge of breaking down as I fell on my knees and lied on my side.

It's different from when I thought she died because of Deliora.

I need her alive no matter what.

That's when I knew I was too into it with no way to break free. The mirage was so deeply engraved into my being that I was losing it once the reason for it was threatening to slip away from me. I'm scared of losing myself.

What was once born from the kindness of my own heart was twisted into something else.

I would definitely feel lost without them.

…

…

…

The S-Class Exam.

The exam was put on hold once someone shot the flare into the skies, signaling the presence of an enemy attack. Van and Karissa made it past a number of trees and came across Gray, Loke, Cana and Lucy. Despite Cana's protests, they all decided to head to the rendezvous point go get more information from those who were more aware of the situation.

They didn't make it very far. Orbs began falling from the sky, then they shattered, releasing a large number of mages who were ready to attack them on sight. The enemy was sending in the first wave of their forces, hoping that numbers would be at least good enough to stop them. But it wasn't.

Five skilled mages and one celestial spirit was strong enough to fight off the fodder.

And then, they all disappeared in a blink of an eye. A man-goat appeared before them. He was most likely responsible for it. Through demands, they learned that one of the dark guilds, Grimoire Heart, of the Balam Alliance was on their scared ground searching for the Black Wizard Zeref who was located on Tenrou Island. They plan to make the World of Great Magic where only the mages would be only to survive and those who couldn't use magic were destined to perish. This ideal world of theirs would have Zeref standing at the top. The Eight Kin Of Purgatory were all searching for him.

The goat looked up at the sky. "I cannot say that I fully understand the true intentions of Master Hades... But such is the life of one who has seen the abyss of magic. Zeref is on this island. And the moment we acquire him... the world will be suffused in magic and reborn."

The goat leaped back when an ice drill pierced the spot he was standing in. Karissa was glaring at him, impatient and fed up, with her magic power flaring up. "So you just waltzed oh so rudely onto this island for a stupid vision."

The goat man wrinkled his nose. "It is not stupid."

"It's idiotic!" Gray snapped, slamming his fist into his palm. "And I hope you're prepared for the consequences when you make a mess outta someone else's house!"

"We were assigned two duties..." their enemy dragged his foot back to prepare for the fight. "The first was to obtain Zeref and turn him over to Master Hades. The other: to annihilate Fairy Tail."

Van had a sadistic smile on his face as the ground cracked under his foot. "Bring it, you ugly shit. I can bet you'll die first here though."

"Wait." Loke pulled back Van's shoulder just as he was about to take a step forward. "All three of you, stand down."

"What?!" Van growled. "No way—"

"I'll take him." Loke said, cutting him off, and made his way forward. "Since they're called the Eight Kin, we have to figure there are seven others as strong as he is."

"You have six to find now."

A young boy, no older than fourteen, stepped out from behind the goat and smiled at the group. He had short curly orange hair that fell just beyond his ears that covered his eyes. He wore a red long sleeve shirt, white shorts and black fingerless gloves, held up with black suspenders. In addition, he wore dark brown boots up to his shins, and a black cloak.

"A kid?" Lucy gasped.

"Yeah. Doesn't it make you feel like you can let your guard down?" the boy grinned before his cloak began to whip around. The six light mages winced when they felt the pressure of the air weigh down on them. Cana and Lucy fell to their knees while Loke, Gray, Van and Karissa were struggling to stand upright.

"So much pressure...!" Loke winced.

"It's not gravity." Van spat.

Karissa stared at the boy quietly, watching his every move.

"Lukius." The goat said with a warning tone. "What are you doing? Have you forgotten Master Hades' orders?"

"Of course not, Mr. Goat." Lukius sang while casually striding over to the Fairy Tail mages. "I just want to get rid of the troublesome ones." He turned his sights on Karissa. "Starting with her."

Van, Loke, and Gray's eyes widened while Karissa's eyes narrowed sharply.

Lukius's body began to flicker in black sparks. In a beat, he lunged at Karissa with a grin and grabbed her by the throat, shocking her, she didn't even have time to react. Then, she was dragged away from the boy who kicked them off the ground with his immense strength, leaving the others baffled.

Karissa gritted her teeth as they flew in the air. She grabbed his wrist and was about to make her move.

"I have to deal with you first." Lukius told her before pitching her down at the ground.

Karissa quickly casted her wind magic to stop her fall, leaving her suspended in the air. When she saw Lukius dropping down on her, she dodged him by a hair and their eyes locked for a split second, dark brown meeting crystal pink.

…

…

…

It happened so fast, a gust of wind was left behind after Lukius dragged her up into the air to land who knows where on the island.

Gray never really worried about Karissa when it came to fighting, but given the circumstances, he couldn't help but worry now. He wanted to go after her.

"Where did that brat take her?!" Cana breathed once the pressure eased.

Everyone shouted when the earth suddenly broke under their feet. Van sped off after Lukius and Karissa after breaking the ground with his first step.

"Van!" Gray yelled.

"Don't be impulsive!" Loke hollered.

Don't be impulsive? But I can't stay calm.

Someone is threatening to take her away from me.

"And I can't let that go." Van gritted his teeth. He lifted his head, revealing a menacing dark look that promised death.

...

...

...

We were at the park with Gray. For once, Pandora was free to hang out with us. They were playing on a spinner. Karissa was running around while holding onto the bars and then hopped on with Pandora. They were both squealing and trying to maintain their balance as the world spun around.

A young Gray cocked his head to the side at my request.

"Van? Why?"

"I think it sounds much better than Vanitas." I shrugged with my hands in my pockets. "Besides, I've always wanted a nickname. Pandora and Karissa started calling me that, and I like it. So, could you call me that too?"

That was a lie.

Gray frowned suspiciously. He looked at the spinner and scratched his head, still confused, not understanding why I suddenly asked to be called as such.

"Sure."

I never wanted a nickname.

I never understood the point of it. If you have a name, why let yourself be called by something else other than the name you were given? It was weird.

But…

If that brings me closer to him.

Then Vanitas should just disappear.

Yes. Van's real name is Vanitas.

Have you figured out what Van's been masquerading as all these 12 long years? Their father. I vaguely hinted it when there were remarks about him being like a father/Zack. Why the name Van? Zack's name has one syllable. Vanitas has three, so he cuts it down to one to get closer to his father. Mirajane is the only person so far to even realize his mask.

That scene where he is mumbling in the dark in his room is when he begins to mimic Zack's tone to sound less childish and more adult-like. It becomes so alike that Pandora and Karissa become uncomfortable but eventually find comfort in it.

Aside from his temper, I tried to keep Vanitas' personality pretty unremarkable other than the qualities of being like a 'father'.

Tenrou Island Arc is going to give spotlight to Vanitas and Pandora because they're not just background characters with nothing going on.

Zekken182: A good distraction that will result in tombstone with Gray's name on it.

SnowPaws101Reverie: I hope this answers your questions :D. But if I were to give more details for why Karissa chose Gray: She chose Gray as her partner because they work well together. Plus, she wanted to give Gray (who was a little jealous) the chance to become S-Class because he's strong... until Pandora said 'nahh we don't do that here' lol.

By the way, I have this story up on Wattpad, part of the reason is because I keep drawing stuff/scenes from Re:Freezing and I wanted to share. This story just gives me inspiration to draw. So, if you want, you can take a look. Not all chapters have drawings in them, they start around chapter 27 (chapters 1-3 have some too). You can already bet I'm drawing out that confession scene. (I already drew out a favorite scene of mine from the next chapter and istg Juvia's hair nearly gave me a stroke x_x)

Anyway! See you in the next chapter and have a nice day!