TWENTY-THREE

"Actions are the first tragedy in life, words are the second. Words are perhaps the worst. Words are merciless…"

—Oscar Wilde

VICTORIA

I used to hate hospitals. Everyone was either dying or dead. Yet, right now I felt like I was going to die from excitement. Or nervousness.

"What has you looking like a megawatt light bulb?" Mina asked, sitting across from me and calmly checking her phone.

"What?"

"Your face. You look like you're about to break out into a show tune. Which is a little twisted seeing as Jen is losing her baby again."

She was such a bitch.

"Mina, you don't know that," Bambam whispered, sitting up in his plastic chair.

"She was bleeding, and curled up in a ball, I'm sure every news outlet is talking by now…"

"Unless you've magically gone to medical school in the last two hours, shut up, Mina. You don't know shit," I couldn't help but snap at her.

She drove me insane.

Rolling her eyes at me, she frowned. "I forgot, you're her little lackey. I wonder how long that will last when she plans to kill your father."

"Mina, enough." Bambam grabbed her arm.

She looked him dead in the eyes. "You were going to kill him, weren't you? From wherever you were hiding, you were going to kill him at the end of the night."

"This is not the time or the place for this," he hissed at her.

"For what? To discuss your loyalty? Because apparently you can't even stand up for me, your wife. Other men would move heaven and earth. You on the other hand, don't give a damn. It's all about twisted fucking Jen, and now karma is biting her in the ass. So let go of me," she yelled, pulling her arm away and forcing him to let go. She went to rise, but before she could leave, Nickhun made his way over.

He smiled, running his hands through his hair. "She's fine. So is their son."

"A boy?" I jumped up into his arms. "Evelyn must be in overdrive right now."

"Who says God doesn't have favorites?" Mina sneered before walking off to some random part of the hospital.

"Tell Lisa I said congrats," Bambam said, shaking Nickhun's hand before following his wife.

"Mina is driving me up the wall," I whispered, holding onto him.

Kissing my nose, he just smiled.

"What?"

"Jen is fine. We're in a hospital with all types of devices that can find out whether or not you're pregnant," he whispered.

Biting my lip, I nodded as he led me to the front desk.

"Is there anyway we can get a pregnancy test done now?" He winked at the woman who could only smile and nod.

"If I am, Evelyn is going to have a heart attack if we tell her now." I could just see her face; not able to process the information we were telling her before she jumped me.

"Then we'll tell her later and make it our little secret for now." He grinned, kissing my cheek.

MINA

It's not fair. I was always the one being shit on. I was always the one watching as everyone else moved forward while I was pulled back. Jen was a evil bitch! She broke every law; every commandment under God, yet still, her life was perfect. Her life was just the way she wanted it to be.

"You suck, you know!" I yelled up at the sky. "I'm not sure what you do all day, but it isn't working! Life is shit and you know it."

"Are you yelling at me or God?" Bambam called out behind me.

"Go away, Bambam!" He disgusted me.

He touched my shoulder softly and I was tempted to lean into him. "Mina…"

"Were you or were you not going to kill my father tonight?" I turned to stare into his eyes, but he couldn't meet my gaze. "I can't believe you."

"Mina…" he tried pulling me to him

"NO!" I snapped, pulling out of his arms. "Ever since that woman has come into our lives, shit has gone to hell! What happen to the rules? We killed for family, we die for family? Yet nobody is safe! God forbid you even blink in their direction. Family used to be important to you and everyone else. But now, fuck it. It's every person for themselves, and you don't even have my back. No one has my back but me. So fuck you, fuck Jennie Kim, and fuck everything you pretend to stand for."

I tried to leave, but he grabbed onto my arms, shoving me against the door and leading back into the hospital.

"Let go of me!" I pushed. "Bambam—"

"No! You've spoken, now it's my turn!" he yelled, grabbing my hands. "First of all, I've had your back. I've had your back the moment you came into my life. I've had your back even after you couldn't trust me with your secret. Even after the family told me not to marry you. I've always had your back because for some stupid reason I love you. I wasn't going to kill your father tonight."

"What?"

He frowned. "I sat on top of that roof, my rifle pointed at the First Lady. I spoke to your father, he was supposed to push her out of the way and take a bullet to the arm. I'm always on your side. So fuck you for not trusting me again."

Letting go of me, he reached for the door handle at my side.

"Move, Mina."

"No," I whispered, as I jumped up into his arms, trying to kiss him. "I'm sorry."

NICKHUN

"What's taking so long?" Victoria sighed, kicking her legs back and forth on the edge of the bed.

The nurse had left with her blood samples over two hours ago. If I knew it took this long to take a pregnancy test, I'm sure Victoria would've rather we waited and done this in the comfortable privacy of our own home.

"Baby, I'm sure they are going as fast as they can." I tried to hide my skepticism. She was excited. She was trying so hard not to be, but she couldn't help it. Her whole body was shaking and in return, so was mine.

We had come so far in the last year and a half. We hadn't fixed everything, and we still went to therapy, but we were happy. I kept trying to imagine us both as parents. What would I teach him or her? Who would they look like? I was hoping that our girls would look like her; had her smile.

"Stop looking at me like that." She laughed, kicking her feet at me.

"This is how I always look at you," I replied, grabbing hold of her legs and kissing her thighs. "And I was thinking of names for our son, Brendan."

"Brendan Manoban? It sounds so boring and simple."

"Well excuse me, what names do you have in mind?"

"Our first kid is going to be girl." She laughed.

"Sorry, baby. Manoban swimmers seem to only produce males."

Before she could respond, the door opened. I stood up as the doctor walked in.

"Please don't make us wait another second. We're both going crazy here." She smiled up at him, taking my hand.

However something felt odd. The doctor before us didn't smile, he looked as though he was in pain. Like he didn't want to break our hearts. When he frowned, I felt her try to pull her hand away.

"We're not pregnant," she said slowly, trying not cry. "I'm sorry we wasted your time, we were just excited. I think we should just go."

"Mrs. Manoban, can you answer some questions for me?" he said to us. We both froze, staring at one another before looking back at him.

"Why? We aren't pregnant, right?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, you're not pregnant. But we did find something else in our tests that raised some questions."

"What?"

"We found that you have abnormally high levels of CA 125. From there, we ran a few other tests…" He paused, and took a deep breath as if readying himself.

"The high levels of this protein suggest that there is a form of antigen that exists. It has symptoms that led you to falsely believe you were pregnant. There is a high chance that the antigen is attacking parts of your reproductive system. You explained earlier to the nurse that you have been feeling tired, experiencing abdominal pains as well lower back pains, these symptoms can be a sign of stress, other physical activities, or—"

"Just spit it out already," I snapped; he was going to make her panic.

He seemed to pause to collect his breath, as if reading himself for another long-winded speech. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Manoban, but such levels of CA 125 leads us to believe that there is a possibility that you may have a cancerous growth in your body. There are other reasons for such high levels of CA 125, but seeing as you are young and not premenopausal, it's my professional opinion that these markers are evidence of ovarian cancer. There are other tests—" The moment he uttered his damning opinion, she stumbled back as if he had slapped her across the face. She grabbed hold of the bed, trying to catch her breath.

"Mrs. Manoban, there are procedures and tests…"

"GET OUT!" I roared at him, causing him to stumble. He was the cause of her upset, her unhappiness. All rational thought left me as he stumbled feebly to the door. I didn't care that he had the unfortunate job of delivering such news to us, it didn't matter that it was his job to do so, all I saw was him talking and as a result, my wife, my purpose for living, seemingly being ripped in two right before my very eyes. He was right to leave. I was feeling the irrational urge to make Victoria smile, as she was ten minutes ago, through any means necessary.

One of those means may have included carving his face from his body.

I stepped towards my wife, holding her tightly and hoping for some way to carry all of this burden. I didn't care that marriage was supposed to be a fifty-fifty deal, when it came to anything that hurt my wife, I'd carry all of the burden without a thought.

"Victoria. Victoria, baby, breathe." I held onto her, but she just kept sobbing, until her knees went out and we were both on the floor.

"I'm so sorry," she cried into my shirt.

Biting on my lips, I fought my own tears; she didn't need that from me, not now.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, baby. We're going to fight this," I whispered, kissing her head. "We're going to fight this and win."

She only cried harder, and I lost the battle against my tears as they started to stream down my face.

Fifteen minutes ago, we were thinking about baby names, laughing, happy, dying to hear two little words: you're pregnant. Now I was trying my best not to think about funerals, or about losing her, my reason for living.

Staring up at the flickering lights, I found myself speaking to God, truly speaking to him for the first time in what felt like forever.

If you think you can take her away from me without a fight, you're fucking mistaken. She will not die from this; I won't let her.