A Thousand Reasons
V
They asked me to clean out her locker. None of them could bring themselves to do it. They think I hated her, and the truth is I wanted to. God, I wanted to hate her. There were a thousand reasons to hate her. I wanted to hate her for her youth, for her beauty, for her incredible mind. I wanted to hate her because of her dedication and passion. I wanted to hate her for being Grissom's favorite. I wanted to hate her for not closing Eddie's case. I wanted to hate her for her insubordination. I wanted to hate her for a thousand reasons.
I loved her for those same thousand reasons. I loved her smile; I loved the way her eyes would light up when she figured something out. I loved her for the way she would sing under her breathe and for the way that she'd push that same strand of hair behind her ear again and again.
Staring into the locker, the one with little pieces of Sara scattered around it, my heart breaks again. I'm finally able to hate her now, I hate her because she left me. She left me alone. She chose that little boy's life over her own. She had to be the hero she was born to be. She died without saying goodbye, and for that I think I'll always hate her.