My Girls Always Leave Me
VI
Daughters are too much heartache. First came Ellie, my little girl. She's not so little now, and as she spat at me before, she's not my little girl anymore. Then there was Sara. She wasn't just lonely, she was alone. We were alone together. It wasn't something we ever classified or even named, it just was. She was the only one to ever remember my birthday, and any time I needed a pick-me-up, like on Father's Day or Thanksgiving, she was there with that sweet smile of hers.
I don't think anyone really realized how alone she really was. Or if they did, they just didn't care. I noticed and I cared, and I made sure she knew it.
Who held her while she cried, when she lost hope when we couldn't find Nick? Who drove her home when she was too tired to be behind a wheel? Who checked on her after she couldn't close the Eddie Willows case? Who spent Christmas Day with her when everyone else was gone? Who made sure she went to her PEAP counselor meetings after her near DUI? Who was the first, and one of the only people, to congratulate her when she made CSI III? Me. She wasn't my surrogate daughter and I wasn't her father figure, we were father and daughter where it mattered, we were family of the heart.
Then, just like Ellie left me, so did she. She went out protecting a child. It was noble, it was brave, it should have never happened. Why did it have to be my girl? Why then? Why there?
Maybe it's my fault. I'm just not cut out to be a father. That has to be it, why else would my girls always leave me?