A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I've been busy with school and stuff. But here it is. Hope you like
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CHAPTER 45 – By Your Side
Scott rubbed at the back of his neck as he walked down the hallway. It had been a long day and the deal with Tristian and what he did for John was not helping him. Images of Tristian healing the teenager still flowed through his memory and he found himself liking Tristian instead of hating him with a passion. He was starting to believe Jean was right, Tristian was a good guy. And he had been such an asshole to him for no apparent reason.
God how he hated himself for it. For everything he had done in general. First to Jean then to Tristian and partially toward Logan. He had let his own anger and hurt mix with his everyday life and let it out on others. The thought of losing Jean to Logan had hurt him then thinking of losing her to Tristian hurt worse. He realized now that he couldn't stop her from choosing who she loved. He could only supporter her and make it easier for her by being less of an asshole and more helpful.
If he lost her still, at least he'd know he did it fairly and while being his usual content self and whom ever she chose would be best for her because they'd beat him out.
He glanced at her door and decided to talk to her in the morning. But a noise made him pause and frown. He walked closer, putting his ear against the wood. Crying. She was crying.
He knocked on the door gently and pushed it open. "Jean?"
The crying stopped and he heard a sniffle.
"Are you alright?" he peeked his head in carefully. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, back to him, shoulders slumped and shaking slightly from her crying.
He stepped inside carefully, still not sure on what he should he doing. If this had happened a year and a half ago, he'd be holding her in his arms, but now things were different and it made it all the more awkward for him.
He took another step toward her, coming around the bed. "Jean, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she sniffled her voice thick from crying.
"No, I don't think you are or you wouldn't be crying," he sat down on the edge of the bed a few feet away from her. He fought the temptation to reach out and grab her hand.
She let out a dry laugh, "You know me to well."
He smiled faintly. "You know I do."
She glanced at him, eyes puffy from her sobs and cheeks tear stained. "God, I must look like a mess." She grabbed a tissue off her dresser and dabbed at her eyes.
"I've seen you in worse states," he shrugged and scooted a bit closer. "Mind telling me what happened?"
"Nothing," she shook her head.
"Jean you hardly ever cry. Something made you cry."
"You promise you won't get upset with me?"
"Yes, I promise," he told her.
She let out a shaky breath. "I went in Tristian's mind."
Scott blinked and bit back his protest. He wanted to get angry but thought better of it, beside she was here so apparently nothing went wrong. "You did?"
"Yes," she looked at him like she was waiting for him to blow up any minute.
He gave her a feeble smile. "I'm not going to get angry. As a matter of fact I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I've been acting like an asshole to you and everyone else…and I'm sorry. I just decided to accept the fact that it's your heart therefore it's your choice and no matter what you do I'm always going to be right here for you."
A tear slid down her cheek and her chin quivered.
"Oh God, Jean. I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" he apologized realizing he made her cry again.
"No," she sobbed, holding back her cries. "It's just…I saw things in Tristian's mind I never want to see again. And there are things I'll never forget."
"What did you see?"
"Everything…but the worst thing I saw was when he lost Bonnie," she looked at him, green eyes glazed with tears. "Scott there was so much pain…it was so real and so raw and it hurt him so much when he watched her die and he couldn't stop it…I never want that to happen. It made me realize I could never live with having that happen to you or to Logan." She started to cry again, burying her face in her hands.
Scott pulled her close to him, deciding that was what she needed right now. "It's okay, Jean," he soothed her, shushing her. "It's okay, everything's fine."
"It was just so scary…all I could think about was what if that happened to me like it did Tristian…what if I lost Logan that way," her eyes met his sunglasses. "Or you…Scott, what if you died in my arms like Bonnie died in his." The very thought made a sob escape her lips and made him tighten his grip on her.
"It didn't Jean…I'm right here," he brushed a strand of hair from her face. "See, I'm real…I'm here…no matter what I'll always be here."
She smiled faintly. "Thank you."
"For what?" he relaxed his grip.
"For finally understanding."
"No problem Jean," he gave her shoulder one last squeeze and stood up. "You need to get some sleep. If you need me I'll be right down the hall."
She nodded. "Thank you."
"Anytime," he watched while she crawled in to bed then left the room, closing the door. He stared at it for a minute and smiled. Still standing by what he had said. No matter what her choice, he'd still stand by her side.
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CHAPTER 45 – By Your Side
Scott rubbed at the back of his neck as he walked down the hallway. It had been a long day and the deal with Tristian and what he did for John was not helping him. Images of Tristian healing the teenager still flowed through his memory and he found himself liking Tristian instead of hating him with a passion. He was starting to believe Jean was right, Tristian was a good guy. And he had been such an asshole to him for no apparent reason.
God how he hated himself for it. For everything he had done in general. First to Jean then to Tristian and partially toward Logan. He had let his own anger and hurt mix with his everyday life and let it out on others. The thought of losing Jean to Logan had hurt him then thinking of losing her to Tristian hurt worse. He realized now that he couldn't stop her from choosing who she loved. He could only supporter her and make it easier for her by being less of an asshole and more helpful.
If he lost her still, at least he'd know he did it fairly and while being his usual content self and whom ever she chose would be best for her because they'd beat him out.
He glanced at her door and decided to talk to her in the morning. But a noise made him pause and frown. He walked closer, putting his ear against the wood. Crying. She was crying.
He knocked on the door gently and pushed it open. "Jean?"
The crying stopped and he heard a sniffle.
"Are you alright?" he peeked his head in carefully. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, back to him, shoulders slumped and shaking slightly from her crying.
He stepped inside carefully, still not sure on what he should he doing. If this had happened a year and a half ago, he'd be holding her in his arms, but now things were different and it made it all the more awkward for him.
He took another step toward her, coming around the bed. "Jean, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she sniffled her voice thick from crying.
"No, I don't think you are or you wouldn't be crying," he sat down on the edge of the bed a few feet away from her. He fought the temptation to reach out and grab her hand.
She let out a dry laugh, "You know me to well."
He smiled faintly. "You know I do."
She glanced at him, eyes puffy from her sobs and cheeks tear stained. "God, I must look like a mess." She grabbed a tissue off her dresser and dabbed at her eyes.
"I've seen you in worse states," he shrugged and scooted a bit closer. "Mind telling me what happened?"
"Nothing," she shook her head.
"Jean you hardly ever cry. Something made you cry."
"You promise you won't get upset with me?"
"Yes, I promise," he told her.
She let out a shaky breath. "I went in Tristian's mind."
Scott blinked and bit back his protest. He wanted to get angry but thought better of it, beside she was here so apparently nothing went wrong. "You did?"
"Yes," she looked at him like she was waiting for him to blow up any minute.
He gave her a feeble smile. "I'm not going to get angry. As a matter of fact I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I've been acting like an asshole to you and everyone else…and I'm sorry. I just decided to accept the fact that it's your heart therefore it's your choice and no matter what you do I'm always going to be right here for you."
A tear slid down her cheek and her chin quivered.
"Oh God, Jean. I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" he apologized realizing he made her cry again.
"No," she sobbed, holding back her cries. "It's just…I saw things in Tristian's mind I never want to see again. And there are things I'll never forget."
"What did you see?"
"Everything…but the worst thing I saw was when he lost Bonnie," she looked at him, green eyes glazed with tears. "Scott there was so much pain…it was so real and so raw and it hurt him so much when he watched her die and he couldn't stop it…I never want that to happen. It made me realize I could never live with having that happen to you or to Logan." She started to cry again, burying her face in her hands.
Scott pulled her close to him, deciding that was what she needed right now. "It's okay, Jean," he soothed her, shushing her. "It's okay, everything's fine."
"It was just so scary…all I could think about was what if that happened to me like it did Tristian…what if I lost Logan that way," her eyes met his sunglasses. "Or you…Scott, what if you died in my arms like Bonnie died in his." The very thought made a sob escape her lips and made him tighten his grip on her.
"It didn't Jean…I'm right here," he brushed a strand of hair from her face. "See, I'm real…I'm here…no matter what I'll always be here."
She smiled faintly. "Thank you."
"For what?" he relaxed his grip.
"For finally understanding."
"No problem Jean," he gave her shoulder one last squeeze and stood up. "You need to get some sleep. If you need me I'll be right down the hall."
She nodded. "Thank you."
"Anytime," he watched while she crawled in to bed then left the room, closing the door. He stared at it for a minute and smiled. Still standing by what he had said. No matter what her choice, he'd still stand by her side.