I'm so sorry this chapter is up so late! Technically it's still Friday, but only for thirty more minutes. I was super busy today and didn't have internet access this morning, so I give you my apologies. Next Friday I'm going to be out of town, but hopefully will still be able to update. And just a heads up, after this chapter there are only three more to go.
Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm
This chapter is based on the song "That's How I Knew This Story Would Break My Heart," and I dare you to listen to that song and not feel a deep, dark depression well in the pit of your stomach.
Chapter Nine: You Might Want to Know
It felt good to punch something. Or, in Starfire's case, to throw starbolts at someone. Crime had been down lately, and when you're life revolves around fighting and detaining criminals, long stretches of time with no one to fight can make you tense.
Focusing her energy into her fists, Starfire threw a few well-aimed starbolts at Mumbo's back, abruptly cutting off his chant of "Alakazam." The crooked magician had decided that were he had failed three times before, he might succeed today, and had broken into the same bank that he always chose. He'd gotten as far as the bottom of the front steps, bags full of money clutched in his gloved hands, before the Titans had intercepted him. Where Mumbo's magic had been tricky to deal with in the past, the Titans had learned a few tricks of their own. The most important thing, they'd found, was to hit him on all sides and keep him too off-balance to catch any of them with his spells. Currently, Starfire was hitting him from above, Beast Boy's hawk form was attempting to snatch his wand, and Cyborg was sending out small waves of white noise towards the criminal. Starfire threw a series of eyebolts at Mumbo's feet, and as he struggled to regain his footing Beast Boy grabbed the wand.
"Raven, keep him down!" Cyborg shouted. Raven had been off to the side, waiting for the right moment to strike, and at Cyborg's words she let off an "Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos," before using her powers to lift a portion of the sidewalk and fold it on top of Mumbo, effectively pinning him to the ground. Mumbo, trapped under an envelope of concrete, squirmed in an attempt to escape, his head the only visible part of his body. The Titans waited for the police to arrive, and after giving them a brief report of the situation, turned to go. As Cyborg started towards the T-Car and Raven and Starfire began lifting to the skies, Beast Boy pointed down the street in the opposite direction.
"Guys, we're out of chips and soy milk. I'm gonna pick some up at the market before going back to the Tower." Then, as a second thought, he adsked, "Do any of you need anything?"
Raven and Starfire shook their heads, and Cyborg said, "Nah, you'd probably end up buying the soy variety of whatever we wanted anyway. We'll meet you back at the Tower, BB."
"See you in a little while." Beast Boy headed back down the street to the grocery store, and Cyborg walked the half-block to where the T-Car was parked. Leaning out the window, he called to the two remaining Titans.
"You two sure you don't want a ride?"
"No thanks," Raven said, and Starfire shook her head, adding, "Thank you, but I would prefer to fly."
Cyborg nodded and pulled onto the street, just as Starfire and Raven took off in the same direction, only a few dozen feet higher up.
They flew without talking for a little while, before Raven, surprisingly, broke the silence.
"You seem like you're in a better mood these days." She didn't look at Starfire as she spoke, just kept gazing straight ahead.
"I suppose so."
"Have you talked to Robin?"
"No." Starfire paused, wondering how much to tell Raven. To be sure Raven was trustworthy and wasn't one to gossip, but Starfire wasn't sure she wanted to get into it all right now. "I am not sure at this point whether or not it would be constructive to continue communicating with Robin. I have not tried to call him for over a week."
"And that's… okay with you?" Raven, not one to usually bring up this sort of topic, was struggling to find the right words.
"To be honest I do not know what is okay. I wish I could talk to him, but it is too frustrating to try to reach out to him when he will not reach back."
"Well, I guess all you can do it take it one day at a time."
"Then I guess that is what I will do."
Having arrived at the Tower, the two girls landed outside before walking up to the front door. Not long after they entered the common room Cyborg walked in.
"I'm gonna go update the case file on Mumbo," he said, heading towards the elevators. "For such a failed criminal, he sure does have a long file." Cyborg stepped into the waiting elevator and the doors closed behind him.
Raven started walking the same direction Cyborg had. "I'll be in my room," she said, and a moment later Starfire was alone. The Tamaranian looked around, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, she decided to take advantage of the quiet to read, and after retrieving her book from her bedroom, sat down cross legged on the couch in the common room. It was unusual for her to spend time in the common room when no one else was there- it was a big room to be all alone in- but now she felt the need for a change of scenery from her bedroom. Opening her book, Starfire set it down on her crossed legs and tried to get into the story.
But for some reason, Starfire found it difficult to concentrate on anything after returning from a fight, probably a result of the heightened adrenaline, and now she struggled to focus on the book in front of her. She folded her arms, unfolded them, and tried again to get through the next page.
A moment later a door slammed, and Starfire looked up to see Beast Boy, apparently back from the market, walking hurriedly towards her from the other side of the room.
"Uh, Starfire, you're probably gonna want to see this," Beast Boy said hesitantly as he approached her. Raising an eyebrow, Starfire put her book down and took the rolled up magazine he handed to her, unfurling it. Her shoulders sagged when she saw the headline.
"Oh no…"
On the top of the tabloid's cover, above a picture presumably taken last week, big bold letters made their statement loud and clear:
STARFIRE AND AQUALAD: JUMP CITY'S HOTTEST NEW COUPLE!
TT
Gripping the magazine loosely, Starfire let her eyes skim over the picture of her and Aqualad. When they'd been walking around town last week she hadn't even noticed anyone with a camera, but she berated herself now for letting her guard down. It was something she'd learned from her years with the Titans: Someone with a camera was always around. And it was bad enough that there were pictures at all, but this photo was taken just as they had been departing… when Aqualad had kissed her on the cheek. The article following did nothing to help the situation.
It seems that "out of sight, out of mind" is the motto of Teen Titans member Starfire. Just weeks after rumors of her break-up with Titans leader Robin, who has been spotted lately in Coal City, Starfire has a new love interest in solo Steel City crime fighter Aqualad. The two were seen last week on a date in downtown Jump, and even shared a goodbye kiss. Witnesses agree this is no mere fling. Continued on page A4.
But Starfire didn't need to continue to page A4. She'd seen articles like this before, and they all said the same thing: Said pair had secretly been dating for months, were most likely engaged, and the couples' previous partners were sick with jealousy. It was that last part that had Starfire concerned.
"You know, he might not even find out. I mean, just because this paper is sold in Coal doesn't mean he'll see it. He's probably too busy to read tabloids," Beast Boy said, but Starfire shook her head.
"He will find out."
"Well even if he does, he won't believe it. We all know it's not true, and he knows you better than that."
Starfire rubbed her forehead. "I believe I need some time to think. I will be on the roof." Without waiting for a response, Starfire set the paper down on the table and walked slowly towards the stairs.
It was cold out, and it would probably rain later today, but the chill felt good. Starfire sat down at the edge of the roof and rested her chin on her hands, trying to figure out what to do.
The thing was, Beast Boy was right: Under normal circumstances, Starfire couldn't have cared less what the tabloids said about her and Aqualad, or about her and anyone else for that matter. She wouldn't have cared if they proclaimed her and Aqualad to be a couple, even if she was with Robin, because all parties involved knew the tabloids were not to be taken seriously.
But this was not normal circumstances.
How long had it been since she last talked to Robin? Ten days ago? And even before that hadn't she left their relationship on shaky ground?
No, this was not normal circumstances, because had circumstances been normal, Robin would be home, Starfire would not have left him, and Robin's emotional status wouldn't have been so fragile. And that fragility was exactly what she was worried about. Because if Robin was already in one of his obsessive moods, if he was already distancing himself from everyone who cared about him, if Starfire had already cut their connection… Why wouldn't he believe what he read?
As Starfire saw it she had only two hopes. The first was that Robin wouldn't see the headline at all. That, she knew, was unlikely, as Robin hadn't gotten to where he was today without knowing everything that was going on all around him. And the second hope… The second hope was that Robin knew her well enough to know she would never betray him.
Starfire crossed her fingers and waited for the inevitable call.
TT
The call came sooner than she expected it to. Not ten minutes later her communicator began to ring, and she held it in her hand for as long as she dared before answering it.
"Hello?"
"Starfire." It was a statement, not a question, and a cold one at that.
"Hello, Robin." Trying to keep her voice steady, Starfire knew there was still a miniscule chance that he hadn't yet seen the paper.
"Anything you want to tell me?" A chance about as big as that of Robin coming back to Jump.
"You have heard the rumors, then?"
"They're pretty hard to miss."
Starfire sighed. "You have read tabloids before. You know they never tell the truth and are not to be believed."
"They have a picture of him kissing you, Starfire. What am I supposed to believe?"
"You would believe that I am so low as to be seeing someone else?" Her feelings were hurt; as much as she knew Robin would overreact, she had hoped he would trust her enough to know there was another side to the story.
"It's not like you would be cheating on me, Star. You broke things off pretty nicely between us as I recall," he responded sarcastically.
The hurt Starfire felt was passing quickly, morphing into anger akin to Robin's, and her tone became bitter. "And you think I care so little about you that I would have forgotten about you?"
"I really don't know anymore."
"How can you say that!" She was yelling at him now, letting her anger out loudly. "We have known each other for three years! We have been through more in that time than most people go through in their entire lives!" She shook her head. "How can you know me so little?"
"You're saying I'm misjudging you?" Robin exclaimed. "You're the one that wanted to put me in some asylum! The only reason I don't trust you is because you don't trust me!" His voice was static-y over the comm. link, and was made even more so by the harsh volume he was using.
"You know that is not true."
"How can I know that? Ever since the dust none of your have trusted me. You think I'm going crazy! You think I don't know what I'm doing!"
"You know, Robin, you are right," Starfire conceded angrily. "I do not think you do know what you are doing."
"What am I supposed to say to that!" He exploded. "What do you want me to say? That you're right, and I have no plan and I'm just running around in circles and crashing into walls and have nothing to show for it?"
"Then show me something! Show me what you have come up with! You will not speak to me of your progress! You will not speak to me of anything!" Starfire briefly noted how strange it was to be yelling at someone she could not see. "You say you do not know what to say to me. Well I do not know what to say to you!"
"So after I won't go along with your plan to go to some asylum in Metropolis you have nothing left to talk to me about?"
"There was no plan, Robin! There was never a plan to send you to 'some asylum in Metropolis.' I only wanted to help you." Shaking her head sadly, she added, "All any of us wish to do is help you." And then, determined not to fall back into the fight they always had, at least not without resolving what the papers were saying about her, Starfire made an attempt to change the subject, however slightly. "And this is not what you are calling about."
"What do you mean this isn't what I'm calling about? How can you tell me what I'm calling about?"
"You called because you wanted to know what happened between me and Aqualad."
Robin was silent, and Starfire waited, anxious to know if her reminding him of this would make him calm down or flare up.
"What did happen?" His voice was guarded but collected, and Starfire let out a breath.
"Nothing happened."
"You want to expand on that?" Or in other words, Obviously something happened.
"After Cyborg returned home from seeing you, he informed us of your status." She half expected Robin to jump in and rebuke anything Cyborg had said, but she continued on, not giving him a chance to do so. "Afterwards I felt very guilty about what happened between us. I was walking around the city and came across Aqualad, and we talked. That was all that happened. We talked for a while, and when he left he kissed me on the cheek." She blushed now, telling Robin this. What had seemed like a friendly and innocent gesture now embarrassed her. "There is not anything between us. There never was."
Without being able to see Robin's face on the comm. screen, Starfire had no idea how he would react. She hoped he would believe her, but she still held onto the hurt she felt when he assumed she had betrayed him. Like she ever could betray him.
"You shouldn't feel guilty." Robin's voice had quieted to the tone he used when he accepted that he'd been proven wrong.
"Then you believe me?"
"Yeah. Of course I do, Star. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have believed what the papers said. It's just been hard." Starfire could sense there was more he wanted to say, but when he didn't volunteer the information she didn't push him. "Please don't feel guilty," he repeated.
"I am afraid that if I do not feel guilty I will not know what to feel."
"You have no reason to feel guilty. None of this is your fault. You just did what you had to do."
Starfire bit her lip. She wasn't sure if it was wise to say this, but she couldn't keep it in. "I miss you, Robin."
"Starfire, I miss you, too." The words rushed out of his mouth, and if he'd been trying to hold them in, it was too late now.
"I want to see you." Her words surprised her, but his answer surprised her even more.
"I want to see you, too."
"Really?" She immediately regretted her choice of words, and tried to contain her surprise. "You will come home, then? Just for a little while?"
"You can come to Coal." Where Robin had been so angry before, now he sounded tired, sad.
"Would it not be better if you came to Jump? You would be able to replenish your supplies and use the Tower's computers for any research you might need and-"
"No." But it wasn't the No she was used to hearing when she suggested he come home. It wasn't the No that said, "I'm too busy to come to Jump." It was the No that said, "I can't face the pressure right now." It was the defeated No, one she never thought she'd hear come from Robin. "You can come to Coal."
"Of course I can come to Coal," she agreed. Even if he wouldn't come back to Jump, her going to Coal wasn't bad, either.
"When will you be able to come out here?"
"There is nothing important happening around here at the moment. Anytime is alright."
"How will you get here? It's a long way- I don't want you to have to fly all the way here." Starfire smiled slightly at his concern.
"I will talk to Cyborg. Perhaps he will let me use his car. I will figure something out." When Robin didn't respond, she added, "I can come tomorrow, if that is alright with you."
"Tomorrow works. Call me when you're leaving the Tower, alright?"
"I will."
"I'm happy you're coming." He spoke softly, but still truthfully. "I..." He trailed off momentarily, as if wondering whether or not to continue. "I love you, Starfire."
She smiled. "I love you, too, Robin."
"I'll see you tomorrow, then. Don't forget to call before you leave."
"I will not forget. Goodbye, Robin."
"Bye, Star."
Starfire set her communicator down on the ground next to her. Then she pinched her arm. No, the sharp sting told her that this was, in fact, not a dream. She was going to see Robin. He'd told her he missed her. He'd told her he loved her. It had all happened so fast- it just didn't seem possible.
But where Starfire had thought she'd feel nothing but happiness as this moment, a sense of melancholy was thick in the air around her. For sure she was happy that Robin didn't believe the tabloids, for sure she was happy he was letting her come to see him, for sure she was happy that the rift between them seemed to be vanishing. And yet…
The Robin she'd spoken to just now was not one she'd ever spoken to before. Defeat had been present in so much that he'd said, fatigue- of the mind, not to mention the body- permeated his words. He hadn't said anything about stopping his search, but she could sense that his spirit, if not his investigation, was dying.
Standing up and making her way downstairs to tell the rest of the team about her trip, Starfire found herself torn between a powerful elation at the prospect of finally seeing Robin again after all this time, and an overwhelming trepidation of what she might find.
TT
Miles away in Coal City, Robin placed his communicator carefully on the bed next to him. He was trying to process what had just happened, but each event seemed more unlikely than the one before.
First of all, how could he have been as dense as to believe that Starfire and Aqualad were together? He'd passed a newsstand while patrolling and upon seeing the devastating headline and picture had flipped out, making a beeline back to his apartment as fast as he could and calling Starfire immediately. Had he given himself even a minute to think it through, Robin knew- or at least hoped- that he would've been able to take a deep breath and dismiss the rumor as just that- a rumor. He could feel guilt rising in his chest as he thought of how fast he'd jumped to conclusions and at how he'd written off Starfire's faithfulness so quickly. She had every right to be angry with him, he knew, especially since his own anxiety was what had led him to believe the rumors. Anxieties brought on by his latest nightmares; anxieties she'd hopefully never learn the cause of.
And second of all, the other incident that couldn't possibly, and yet was, real, was that she was coming to Coal tomorrow. For the hundredth time Robin did the math: It had been six weeks since he'd seen her; 42 days. It felt like so much longer than that, and at the same time, so much shorter.
Standing up, Robin walked over to the window and looked out at the city. Somewhere out there there were clues about Slade. And somewhere out there, much more easily found and apprehended, were burglars, arsonists, muggers.
For the first time in a long while Robin found himself not wanting to venture out into the crime-ridden streets, not wanting to fight, not wanting to get on the R-Cycle, still not repaired from when it had crashed, and not return back to his apartment until dusk.
But all the same, he did.
Because as Robin grabbed his helmet, checked his utility belt, and revved the engine of his motorcycle, he realized this was all he really remembered how to do.