THIRTY-ONE

"Nothing thicker than a knife's blade separates happiness from melancholy."

—Virginia Woolf

JENNIE

"Mrs. Manoban, are you sure you don't need a doctor?" Scooter, the know-it-all cop, asked me as I rested against our Range Rover.

The whole opera house had been cleared just a few moments ago, but none of the guests had left. The only thing more tragic than an opera was our real lives. With dogs, the pigs were there with their flashing lights, silver badges and yellow tape; all of them taking pictures of Antonio's body as he lay there, cold and lifeless. He wasn't supposed to die. My men died when I fucking said they died…at least if the world worked as it should.

"Mrs. Manoban?"

"We're fine, officer," Lisa said. "I think it's time I took my wife home." He came to stand beside me.

"Ms. Manoban, if you have anything to add to this investigation—"

"Like I said before, we were leaving the opera when our bodyguard was shot," Lisa hissed, opening the car door for me.

"That's what we're trying to get at. There is no reason for anyone to kill your bodyguard. That bullet may have been for you, Mrs. Manoban. This type of shot was the same used on the President." Scooter stood up straighter, as he grabbed hold of my car door.

"On the news they said that was the First Lady…" I started when he cut me off.

"It was, but she has an accomplice we have no information about. If you could just come down to the station, maybe help to find the connection—"

"You're a cop, not a detective, if you have any more questions for us, please contact our lawyer. Goodnight, Officer," Lisa stated, helping me into the car before slamming the door closed. "Drive."

Hanbin didn't need to be told twice. It felt odd leaving a man behind. Antonio had been with me for years—with Hanbin for years. Antonio was a mentor to both Hanbin and Adriana. I knew Chanyeol must have called her. It wasn't the type of news you broke over the phone, but Adriana would want time to separate herself from us.

Next to me, Lisa was so tense she felt frozen, and all I could do was stare into the darkness of the night sky. Chicago was used to death. I was used to death. Neither was I grief stricken nor was I in shock; I was just fucking angry. I felt powerless, and it was a feeling I wasn't familiar with. This was bad. We need to retaliate quickly or we would have anarchy. The reason our men trusted us and were loyal to us was for the simple reason that we were the biggest and baddest animals. Scarlet was making us look weak. This has to end, I just wasn't sure how. How could she be so fucking good? How could she kill, get into our house, know where we were going? Who knew that much?

I sighed as we pulled to a stop in front of the house. When Hanbin opened the door for me, I didn't even wait for Lisa, or anyone else for that matter, to help me. Seeing Evelyn and Marco along with Mina and Bambam all huddled in the middle of the foyer made me want to scream. I didn't want to deal with this shit right now.

"Thank God you're alright." Evelyn sighed, making beeline for my stomach as I took off my coat and handed it to the maid.

"That depends on your definition of alright, Mother," Lisa stated, walking in and standing beside me. "May I ask what you two are doing back here?"

"We live here," Mina snapped.

"Mina…"

"Lisa, I'm sorry, it's a force of habit. My father is done campaigning and is back in Chicago so we…"

Bambam grabbed her hand, stepping forward in the hopes of shutting her up. "Nickhun and Victoria will be back in the morning. I figured you would want the family together before we get even with this bitch. Tell me what…"

I couldn't listen to them for another goddamn second. They were just so fucking idiotic, why waste my energy on the waste of space. Walking past them, I pretended they weren't even there while walking up the stairs. The bottom of my feet hurt like a bitch's ass at a BDSM club. All I wanted was my bed, but sadly I knew I couldn't go there just yet. I didn't usually go to Adriana's room. It was sort of beyond decorum, but what hell, I made the fucking rules. Pushing into her room, I knew wouldn't see her.

Her bed was made, every book she surrounded herself with was stacked around the room like erected monuments, and her curtains were closed. Breathing deeply, I walked over to her bed and grabbed every one of her pillows and threw them to the ground, creating a makeshift bed for me to lie on. I felt like a damn penguin, but it was the only way I could see her. The moment I was on my side, I saw her curled up under the bed, her eyes spilling tears she couldn't control.

This was Adriana. After everything she had been through, the only place she ever really felt safe was under the bed. It was a habit she couldn't shake after being taken.

"He asked me to marry him," she whispered, moving her hand so I could see the ring. Even in the darkness, I could tell it was small and forged into the shape of a teardrop. It was very much Adriana. "I told him I wanted to think about it. I told him I wanted to talk to you. But the truth was, I was scared. He told me to keep the ring, that it would help me think. I should have just said yes."

"We all know you would have. So did he." I smiled at her. Like me, she just wanted to be difficult.

She rolled her eyes, hoping to stop her tears but it didn't work. "I can't move. If I move, life continues on and I can't…I loved him so much."

"Then don't move," I whispered to her. The problem with loving someone that much was the fact that it hurt ten times more to lose them. Great love only equaled great pain eventually…that's why Lisa was going to have to die after I did.

LISA

"What number are you on?" Bambam asked, stepping into my office.

Staring at the glass in my hand, I downed it quickly before pulling out another bottle from my bottom drawer.

"I'm not counting. What do you want?"

Sitting across from me, he sighed and pulled out two cigars. "I want to help you. I want to be your brother again. I've spent weeks on a campaign, being asked how it feels to be a Manoban, what we're like, what do I think about families on food stamps right after I bought Mina another diamond necklace. Father told me that I would hate it; being without the family and having to actually pretend I give fuck almost drove me mad. Mina ate it up. She loved it. We were like string puppets on stage dancing for everyone else; going where we were told, keeping our comments rehearsed, being the better fucking person to people whose necks I could snap off if I wanted to. Part of me had a hard time dealing with you as my boss, but I'd rather dance under your strings than anyone else's."

Staring at him for a moment, I handed Bambam a glass and took the cigar. "Do you have a light?"

"As long as you don't tell my wife." He laughed, holding the flame at the end of it.

"At least you can lie to yours. Jen can sense smoke like a bloodhound. Truthfully, she knows me well enough that she just lets me slide on some lies for the sake of my pride." We both sucked in smoke.

"You've both come a long way from trying to kill each other." He had no idea how wrong and right he was. She still tried to kill me, except now it usually had us both naked. "What are we going to do about this Scarlet bitch?"

"She's one step ahead of everything. We make a play, she makes one better. Any thoughts?" Because I was all out of motherfucking ideas.

He sat back, leaning against his chair and scratching the back of his head. "None. I don't get it. That shot… it was a fucking good one. It's the type of shot I aim to take."

"Get to your point."

"My point is, she could have easily killed Jen. Just like she could have after the accident. She had Jen in her crosshairs, so why didn't she?"

"That I understand." I wish I didn't, but I did. "She gets off on the physical torture. She poisoned Dong-suk for years. Now she's making sure her daughter lives in fear. I want to know her end game. There is a bigger picture here. What's going to happen when Myoi wins office? We both know it's going to happen, that's why you're home early. He has a ninety-one percent likelihood to win. That's higher than any test you've ever taken."

"Fuck you."

I grinned, downing the rest of my brandy.

"So? What do you want us to do?" he asked seriously.

Smoking, I thought about that for a moment before pulling out the phone in my pocket.

"Scarlet called Jen right before she took the shot. I'm sure it's a burned phone, but still, look into it for me." Dropping it on the table in front of him, I put out my cigar and stood.

"Yes, boss."

I didn't trust him as much I as I wished I could. Moreover, I didn't trust his wife. There was a rift between us that went beyond just our childhood. However, if there was anyone in the world able to gain my trust, it was him. After all, he was blood.

"Don't finish all my brandy," I directed before leaving. I hadn't seen Jen in over an hour and my hands were starting to twitch. Every damn lock had been changed for a second time, we had added at least twenty different cameras and now had men checking the grounds every hour. None of that extra security really gave me any peace of mind when it came to her.

"Jen," I called out when I entered our room. Our bed was still made. I had figured she would be asleep.

"In here," she yelled from the bathroom. Following the scent of vanilla and the soft glow of candlelight, I noticed her dress and shoes in a pile next to the door. The sight of her soaking in our bathtub—the mounds of her breasts covered with suds, her hair in a messy bun, strands sticking to her neck and her eyes closed—was almost enough to bring me to my knees.

"Stop staring. I would invite you in, but it's a little warm for you," she said softly, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. You and I both know you want that tub to yourself." Rolling up my sleeves, I took a seat on the marble right next to the pearlescent tub, and rubbed circles onto her stomach. She took a deep breath, her breasts rising, before she relaxed into my hand.

"Antonio asked Adriana to marry him," she whispered. "I'm not sure how she's going to handle this, and I don't have time to help her…I don't know how."

"We can't. The only thing we can do is cut off the witch's head."

She smiled, her eyes only opening slightly. "Who gets what part? I want more than a pound of her flesh. One for me and one for my father."

"You've been reading The Merchant of Venice to him again, haven't you?" The kid was going to come out speaking old English.

"It beats you reading Atlas Shrugged any day."

"That novel is—"

"A vision of what the world could be, blah, blah, blah. Thank God you read it while I'm sleeping."

"Obviously you weren't in a deep enough sleep…"

Before I could finish, she splashed the water with her hands, soaking my face.

"Couldn't help myself." She laughed.

"You're lucky you're pregnant."

"Correction: you're lucky I'm pregnant because I would so easily kick your ass. Again."

"You beat me once."

"Once is all you need." She waved her hand over her stomach as if to prove her point.

I was too tired to even argue. Resting my head against the tub, we both sat in the calmness trying to unwind. But my wife didn't believe in rest. She was always thinking about work.

"How much did Roy pay us?"

Sighing, I didn't move. "We made just over 312 million, most of the money is going offshore, remember? Are you planning on taking the money and running?"

She shook her head and sat up straighter. "Nope, just thinking maybe we should go away when the baby is born."

"We have a few weeks."

"Actually, I think my water just broke."

"What!" I yelled, jumping up. "Are you sure? How can you fucking tell? You're in water!"

"Ahh…" she hissed, grabbing the sides of the tub. "I'm fucking sure, so stop panicking and help me out of this damn thing!"

Dropping a few towels on the floor, I grasped her arm and her waist, holding her to me as I pulled her out. I wanted to just lift her, but I doubted that I would be able to. Slowly, I walked her back into our room, and helped her onto the bed.

"Adriana packed a bag."

"Got it," I stated, running to her clothes. "Ahh shit, I just stepped on one of your fucking heels!"

"Lisa, I need clothes, my soft sweats."

Glancing around the rows upon rows of clothing, I had no idea where the hell any of her shit was.

Grabbing the black pair, I rushed over to see her breathing quickly. Looking up at me, she stared at the sweats in my hands. "That's not the one."

"Does it really mat—"

"Your son is trying to push his way through my motherfucking vagina! I want my bloody grey sweatsuit!" she screamed, before taking a deep breath, and rubbing my hand onto her stomach.

I felt myself freeze. She's in labor. Holy shit, my wife is in fucking labor.

"Oh, please, please don't do this, Lisa! Don't be that guy who faints! I need my clothes!"

Nodding, I ran back into her closet, avoiding her damn shoes, and pulling the suit off the hanger before rushing back to her. Kneeling before her, I pulled her pants up around her legs.

"Ah, this really fucking hurts," she hissed, grabbing hold of my shoulders as another contraction started.

"Just breathe, baby." Holding the sides of her stomach, we stared at each other, breathing until it passed.

Sighing and cracking her neck, she put on her jacket.

"Thank God for baby books."

"Dad," I said into the phone. "Listen, Jen's water just broke…"

"What?" he screamed before yelling for my mother. "Evelyn! Jen's in labor…"

"Pop, listen to me! I need a barrier around us as we get to the hospital. We're heading down now." I think he got me, but I couldn't tell with all the shuffling around the room.

"Of course you were going to come early and when I was exhausted," Jen whispered to her stomach. "As if I wasn't nervous already."

Taking her hands, I kissed the palms of each of them. "We're going to be okay. All of us are going to be okay, I swear."

She nodded, her eyes drooping slightly; the clock on the dresser beside us seemed to taunt us, as it flashed, 2:04 a.m.

"I'm not ready for this. He's early, Lisa. He can't be early because I'm not fucking ready. I can only do this when I'm ready," she whispered through deep breaths, as who could only be my mother, knocked against our door repeatedly.

"Lisa? Jen? Are you okay? Can we come in? How far apart are your contractions?" My mother knocked like she was fucking SWAT.

"If there is any woman on this planet that can do this, it's you." I waited for her to nod before calling out to my mother. "We're good, come in."

"Oh thank Jesus!" she yelled, running in with curlers still in her hair, while wearing a pair of sweatpants I didn't even know she owned.

"ARGH!" Jen screeched through her teeth. "Can someone please get me to a damn hospital? No way in hell I'm having this baby here."

JENNIE

"These endorphins better kick in hard when he gets here!" I screamed through another contraction before falling back onto the pillows. "It's been nine hours. I just want sleep, damn it."

"Shh, baby, I know," Lisa whispered, dabbing the sweat off my skin.

Finally, I smacked her hands away. "Your fucking hands were what got me in this shit. The moment this is over, I'm cutting your dick off and buying pit bulls just so they can eat it!"

"Mrs. Manoban, we need you to relax—" said a nurse.

"Have you ever tried to relax with a head trying spilt your vagina? I have a nice vagina. A cute, tight, great vagina! Ask her, that's the reason why I'm like this. I'm trying to calm down, but again, there's a head coming through my fucking awesome vagina! Now, you people leave me alone, I want everyone out!"

I'd tried everything and the damn meds they were giving me weren't working. This was what you got when you spent years experimenting with different drugs. My body could eat epidurals for damn breakfast. They wouldn't give me more for the baby's safety and what I could say to that? Fuck it, I want meds. The doctors and nurses wouldn't leave, they just wrote me off as though I was just another bitching pregnant woman.

"Lisa, I want them out. I need a second, please," I whined, covering my face with the blanket.

"Okay." She kissed my head before snapping at the doctor,

She ushered them out of our birthing suite. Our usual doctor wasn't here, so we were stuck with some random woman who kept probing me like we were on a damn date. I didn't look up. I just wanted the pain to stop.

She brushed my hair back as she spoke. "I know this is a dumb question, but how do you feel?"

"Scared. Tired. Frustrated, and so fucking tired," I whispered, leaning into her as she held me in her arms.

"You're doing great, love. It's almost over."

"How do you know?" I'd overheard the damn nurses say this could be another long one and that was only after hour eight. "I'm so done being pregnant, Lisa. I swear to God!"

Before she could tell me some other placating bullshit, I clutched her hand as another wave of aching rushed through me. I clenched my teeth together so hard I thought they would break; I couldn't even hear myself scream.

"Mrs. Manoban? What are you feeling?" The doctor yelled, rushing back in with a new pair of gloves in her hands.

Staring at her for a moment fighting the urge to rip her head off. What the hell? I was feeling pain! What kind of motherfucking question was that?

"Pain. I want to push," was all I could bring myself to say.

She checked my dilation with one hand as she used her other hand to push against my stomach "I'm sorry, Mrs. Manoban. You can't."

Fuck.

"How are her vital signs?" she asked, turning to the male nurse next me.

"Her blood pressure is elevating with each contraction, but not going down."

"What the hell does that mean?" Lisa snapped, pulling away from me for the first time since we had come into the suite.

She looked at the number on the monitor as she listened to my stomach for a moment, then the doctor shook her head. "We're going to have to do a cesarean, Mrs. Manoban."

"You want to cut her open." Lisa shook her head, as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She glanced at me helplessly, and I could see the worry in her eyes.

"Your baby isn't positioning himself right, and your blood pressure is rising. This is the safest way for you and your child—"

"Then do it," I demanded, taking Lisa's hand. "If it's the safest way."

Nodding at her, Lisa kissed the back of my hand as she sat beside me. "You're going to be fine."

"Okay, we're going to prep you…"

I just tuned her out, and focused on the lights above me. I relaxed slightly at the feeling of the cold towel Lisa was using to blot my skin. Everything just had to be so fucking complicated, damn it.

"Mrs. Manoban, I'm the anesthesiologist, Dr. Meroe. I'm going to give you something to make sure you feel nothing, but you'll still be aware enough to greet your bundle."

I wanted to speak but I couldn't. I was too tried, and all I could do was nod and fight back the nervousness building at the base of my throat.

"Can you feel that?" Lisa whispered, staring down at my stomach, her eyes glistening with…something…as she watched me.

"Believe me, if I felt it, you would know," I said, trying to readjust myself.

"Okay, Mrs. Manoban. Your son is going to be here in a few seconds…"

"Seconds!" My head snapped to the side, but I couldn't see anything. Hands gripped me and loosened just slightly. There was a tug, and a lot of pressure, then nothing.

"Here we are," the doctor cooed from behind her mask as a soft cry—my son's cry—rang throughout the room.

I felt myself take in a deep breath just as Lisa did, biting her lips and trying her best not to let the water building under her eyes to fall. There he was, a bundle of blood and fluid, wailing.

"Would you like to…"

"Yes," Lisa answered, cutting her off and taking the pair of scissors. I didn't realize I was crying until I had to wipe my face, as I watched Lisa cut the cord.

Our son's little hands were waving everywhere.

I held my arms out for him, and the moment he was in them, I knew I never wanted to let him go.

"Hello…" I cried, kissing his head, "I'm your m…mo…"

"She's your mommy." Lisa finished for me as she kissed my shoulder. She stood beside me before brushing our son's little red checks.

Nodding, I cooed to him softly. "I'm your mommy, Ethan."

"Thank you," Lisa whispered before kissing me once again. "Thank you so much for this…for him."