THIRTY-TWO

"The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults."

—Peter De Vries

LISA

I watched him. I couldn't help it. He was just so tiny. I could hold him with just one hand. I hadn't slept in hours…days? Who gave a shit, I had a son. He was here in my arms, drooling. He'd been in the world for only six hours, yet still I couldn't imagine a moment without him.

"Lisa, please, stop hogging him," My father huffed, moving to stand behind me. "The old folks would like to hold him before we die."

"Be careful," I hissed, slowly transferring him into Marco's arms.

"Hello, little one," he said to him, and once again, my son just waved his arms around in his sleep, as if he wasn't used to all the space around him. "Your mom says I have to be careful, but forgets that I once held her and her brothers like this. Thankfully you got your looks, and hopefully your smarts from your mother."

"I'm right here." I rolled my eyes at him as he walked over to the couch next to Jen's bed. She was only partially asleep, watching my father and me through barely opened eyes. She had only taken short naps; surely she needed more sleep.

"Love," I murmured, brushing her hair back before kissing her head. "Sleep. You not only need it, but deserve it."

She smiled, her eyes closing as she reached for my hands, which rested on the side of her face. "I know, and I want to, but I'm afraid. What if I miss something or he needs something? He'll be hungry again soon. It's been a few hours since I fed him."

That was probably the most awe-inspiring thing I had ever seen in my life. Before I could say anything, there was a short and soft knock on the door right before my mother wheeled in a very excited Victoria. She had a yellow scarf around her head, and shopping bags in her lap. Behind her came Nickhun, Bambam and Mina, each of them holding balloons, flowers and cards.

"Oh my God, he's so cute!" Victoria squealed, trying her best to keep her voice down while bouncing out of her seat. "Cancer survivor calls dibs after grandpapa!"

"Victoria! I called it already, I'm his first uncle." Bambam scowled at her as a faint smile played on his lips.

"Cancer beats uncle." Victoria stuck her tongue out at him. "Doesn't it, Jen?"

Jen giggled—actually giggled, nodding for her to go next.

"Only six hours old and he's the most mature person in the room," my mother stated, kissing his little feet before coming over to us. I wasn't sure if I liked the fact that all of them were here, hovering over my son. In all honesty, I just wanted it to be my wife, my son and myself for now. Guessing what I must have been thinking, Jen took my hand, and squeezed tightly before letting go.

"Congrats, Lisa, he already looks like a hell raiser." Nickhun laughed, pulling me into a quick hug.

"If he's anything like how we used to be, I may end up with more gray hairs than Mom and Dad."

"I don't have gray hair, Lisa."

"Of course, Mother," Nickhun and I said at the same time, which only made us both laugh and grip hands again.

Yeah, I was going to be in for it, but I had no doubt that it would be worth it.

"May I say Jen, you look beautiful." Bambam smiled, handing her a bundle of yellow roses.

"You may, even though I know you're lying," she replied, taking the flowers from him. "Thank you, Bambam. They smell great."

"Look at this, I turn my back for one moment, and he's charming my wife immediately after she gave birth to my child," I joked as he reached out to shake my hand. I pulled him in, giving him the same hug I gave Nickhun.

"He's just trying to charm her so that he can hold Ethan before anyone else." Mina smiled, her gaze fixated on the little man now in Victoria's arms.

Evelyn was close by, showing her how to hold him.

"So it's official, right? Ethan Antonio Manoban?" Victoria asked and when he took a deep breath, she, my mother and Mina practically melted where they stood.

The sight of his little chest going up and down was the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Actually, it's Ethan Antonio Kim Manoban," Jen spoke up, reminding me of our earlier conversation.

"Antonio?" Mina frowned. "You mean after the guard who died?"

"Yes, the guard who took a bullet for me…for us both. It was the least I could do for a man who was in many ways my friend as well." No one could argue with that. No one dared.

Ethan hadn't been in Bambam's arms for more than a few minutes before he started to wail. Jen sat up, immediately reaching for him. Swaying back and forth, Bambam placed him in her arms. I had no idea how she knew what to do or when those instincts kicked in, but she knew exactly what he needed.

"Now, why are you crying?" she whispered to him. He reached up, smacking her face a few times and putting his hand into her mouth before relaxing. It was like he knew who she was, and just by knowing she was his mother, he was at ease. Part of me felt a twinge of jealously at how close they were already, but it was overwhelmed by the amount of joy and excitement I felt. He was finally relaxed when a flash went off, causing him to stir again.

"Mom!" I snapped, as she held her phone to her chest.

"Oh hush before you make him cry. Let me enjoy this. I need to send this to the rest of the family, and you can't expect me not have his picture." She grinned, flipping through her phone.

"You already took a hundred pictures from the second you saw him." She was going crazy with glee, and not just her, my father was just as giddy. They were…well, they were happy. We were all happy. Reaching out, my son grabbed hold of my finger, squeezing as tightly as he could, as though he was trying to prove something. Like he was trying to say 'Look dad, look how strong I am'.

"What color eyes do you think he'll have?" Jen asked me. Right now they were the standard blue that apparently most babies were born with.

Before I could answer, everyone else took it upon themselves to do it for me: "Brown."

"Can the father get a word in please?" I mocked them, turning to my wife and child once more. I stared in awe at the new person that was half of me; my heart stuttered at the thought. Brushing his hair back, I answered my wife. "Before the peanut gallery can interrupt again, I think…I really don't care, as long as he's healthy."

"That's why I'm here." An overly preppy red-headed doctor walked in with a single nurse at her side. "Hello, everyone. I'm Dr. Yang and I just need to run a few more tests on him, and if—"

"Don't say if." Jen frowned, her eyes glaring into her. "He's fine, and you're just making sure he's still fine, got it?"

My father laughed at how wide the woman's eyes opened. "Of course, Mrs. Manoban. We're going to take him for an hour or two and then we will be right back with him. I'm sure he's fine."

Jen's body tensed and I knew she was going to ask to accompany him, but she really needed to rest.

"I'll go with him," I said. "I'll feel better if you get at least two hours of sleep."

Sighing, she kissed his forehead before slowly handing him over to me. He smelled like fresh flowers, and rain, and just baby, an indescribable scent that seemed to permeate his skin. Kissing her quickly, I walked over to the doctor.

Don't drop him. Keep his head up. Don't hold him too tightly. Is he breathing? Don't wake him! Those were some of the thoughts that ran through my mind; it was like my whole being was now wrapped around him.

Holy shit.

JENNIE

"Don't worry, you're going to close your eyes and before you even know it, they will both be back demanding your attention." Evelyn laughed, kissing my forehead. It was odd. I wasn't used to anyone other than Lisa doing that, and even so, it had taken me a while to adjust to her. But I guess seeing me with a baby tucked into my arms made her forget who I was.

"We're going to head out and let you have some space." Marco smiled at me. He looked as if he were holding back a hug or something. The best I could do right now was squeeze his hand.

I was pleased that I still felt like myself, only now I had a greater priority and that was my son. He was the person I now lived, and would die, for and I would do everything in my power to make sure he was safe. Which meant I had to be stronger, maybe even harsher with those around me. I would be anything, do anything, to protect him.

"Bye, Jen. Oh, I got Ethan some cute new clothes for him to come home in." Victoria grinned, leaving the baby blue bag on the chair Marco had previously occupied.

"That reminds me, the press will be tripping over themselves for pictures…" Mina started, but I cut her off quickly.

"Bambam, make sure any and all press around our house is taken care of immediately. Also, I want a new car, something that isn't too flashy, with tinted windows. A Volvo, maybe?" I'd heard all this shit about them being safe, so I might as well.

"I'll get right on it, boss." He grinned, but I still didn't trust him. He made way too many fucking mistakes, and if he weren't family, I would have already killed him. Mina bit her tongue—as she should—before taking a deep breath and playing with the pearls at her neck.

"Nickhun, stay a moment?" I turned to him. None of them waited or even looked back. Evelyn wheeled Victoria out, giving us the privacy my statement insinuated.

"What do you need?" he asked, rolling up his sleeves.

"The house swept, I want every last one of our security cameras firewalled and impossible to be hacked. Then get a profile of all of our employees. Make sure they know their lives depend on what they don't see or hear, and who they let into my house. We brought a little boy over the border to keep his mother quiet. The police want to use her as an informant. Focus more on her." Saying it all out loud made me relax, just a little bit.

"I'll get working on everything, but Bambam told me that Lisa is having the house swept again as we speak. She has fifteen men walking the property here and roaming the surrounding areas." Of course she was. She and I were too much alike; sometimes it was crazy.

"I'll leave you to get some res—"

"How's Victoria?"

He frowned. "She's doing better, but I don't think she's up to do anything right now."

"I'm not asking as your boss."

"Oh." He nodded slowly. This was one of the hassles when dealing with family. "She has her dark days, but she's been doing better. It's a slow process but she's getting there. It's been a few weeks since she's been off the chemo, and she starts therapy soon."

"Good. I'm glad." I yawned. My entire body felt so heavy.

He said something before stepping out the door, leaving only silence and the muted whirring of the machines in his wake. Finally, I could rest and allow my eyes to close.

"Hi, sweetheart," someone whispered over me.

I felt like I had only just closed my eyes, but now they felt harder to open. "Wh…I…wha…" I couldn't form words. What the hell was going on?

"Don't worry, this will be over very soon." I knew that voice. With all the might I had, I forced my eyelids open, blinking quickly at the stream of light pouring into my eyes.

"S..Sca…" I hissed through my teeth.

"Not here." She grinned, looking at the name on her lab coat. "Here, I'm Doctor Yang."

She was pushing my bed down the hall. I tried to move, but my body felt like it was encased in lead. Nurses, doctors, patients, and walls passed me by without my control. All I could see were her damn blue scrubs and bad red wig hovering over me. Clenching my teeth, I tried my best to speak but the muscles in my jaw were useless. Whatever she fucking drugged me with, I wasn't used to it.

"Lisa…kill…"

"My doctor friend will keep her and little Ethan so busy she won't notice until it's too late. Now sleep, sweetheart." I didn't have time to brace myself before she stabbed me in the fucking neck. I no longer had any control over my body. That's when the tears started to fall. I refused to believe that I may never see my family again.

Fuck her. If she thought she could end me like this, she didn't know who she was fucking with.

LISA

Something was wrong. I could fucking feel it in the pit of my stomach. The fucking doctor was taking her sweet time looking him over, but that wasn't my problem. Something was off and I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Lisa." Nickhun stepped in next to me, staring at Ethan through the window. He was blissful as he gurgled in his little incubator.

Nickhun was stiff, his jaw was clenched so tightly that it looked like stone, he breathed through his nose slowly, watching the doctor's hands carefully. Hearing the door slide open, I watched as my father walked in without even bothering to look at me. He stepped up to my son, blocking my view of the doctor.

"You have five seconds to start speaking, Nickhun." My hands twitched, more than ready to bash someone's head in.

"Don't make a scen—"

"I asked you a motherfucking question, you work for me, now answer. What fuck is going on Nickhun?"

He was silent.

"If I have to ask you again…"

"Jen." He paused. "She's gone."

Taking a deep breath, I tried to ignore how quickly my heart was pounding. "Did you check with the—"

"She's gone. Evelyn went back to check on her and noticed. No one has seen her in the last two hours. I hacked the hospital cameras…" He handed me his cell phone, but I didn't need to fucking see it.

"Scarlet."

The bitch! I'm going to fucking kill her!

"Lisa, breathe."

"I want this whole fucking hospital on lockdown! Every fucking exit, shut! How the hell did she get to my wife?" Right under my nose.

Every head in the vicinity turned towards me, but I didn't give a fuck. I would slit each one of their fucking throats.

"She got in using Dr. Yang's badge and a wig. Lisa, don't…"

I started towards the door before he could even finish, but he jumped in front of me, halting my steps. "We have eyes everywhere. There are cops all over this place."

"Bring me Dr. Yang! Take her out back. Block out the damn cameras."

"Okay. I know you're panicking, but Lisa, breathe," he replied.

Running my hands through my hair, I took a step back, and breathed through my nose before nodding.

"Get her the fuck away from my son. I want men around him at all times."

When he left me, I tried not to think about her. I couldn't think about her not being in her room waiting for me. I just couldn't handle that. Fuck. How did she fucking get her? Fuck.

"Let go of me!" The bitch hissed as Nickhun all but dragged her out of the Ethan's room by the arm, lifting her tiny frame towards me.

"You better speak before I get down there or so help me God, your definition of pain will be obsolete by the time I'm through with you." That's all I said before walking into my son's room. Seeing Ethan in my father's arms burned deep down into my soul. She wasn't just my fucking wife, she was his mother. He had a mother that loved him and I had to bring her back. He wasn't even a fucking day old and he already had to deal with this shit. Kissing him, I stepped away, and watched him rest in my father's arms.

"Dad…"

"Go. No one is getting near him. Your mother will be here in a few."

I nodded. I couldn't even breathe correctly anymore. I felt like Atlas, struggling to balance the weight of the world.

"Lisa, if there is someone who can get her back, it's you."

I had no fucking choice. How could I live without her? I couldn't even think. Rolling my sleeves up, I walked away. I told myself over and over again that I couldn't kill the doctor. But the line between the living and the dead was a very thin one. I would see how far I could take it before she broke; I had no doubt that she would.

Bambam was already waiting for me when I stepped out into the sterile hallway. His body was as rigid as mine. No words were needed, so we didn't waste them. Scarlet came after the family. She stole our family; my fucking wife. Someone was going to die, that went without being said.

Pushing open the door to the staircase, Bambam handed me a gun, but I shook it off. Scarlet chose this woman as a decoy; I doubted a gun was enough to scare her. I was going to beat it out of her.

My Jen is gone. How the fuck? She took my fucking wife. She took my motherfucking wife! My mind was in a loop as we went down the stairs.

I didn't want to think, for when I did, I felt like a failure; I felt pain and anger.

Pushing open the door, I was hit with a harsh blast of cold dry air and snow. There, begging, as she was held against the wall next to the dumpster with rats at her feet was Dr. Yang. Her lips were busted and her eyes held tears. Nickhun shook his head, stepping back to let me through.

I didn't have time for this. Marching forward, I grabbed a fist full of her fake red hair. I pulled her off the wall before slamming her face repeatedly into the dumpster before throwing her body aside. I was tempted to keep going, but surely if I continued I would permanently incapacitate her.

"AHH!" She groaned, spitting out what looked to be at least three of her teeth onto the white canvas of snow. It was sort of beautiful, the contrast of her red blood on the untainted ground. I relished in causing her distress, making her feel a fraction of the pain that was radiating through my entire being. Kneeling next to her, I pulled a switchblade out of my sock and held it to her hairline.

"I will scalp you alive and then let the rats eat your fucking face, do you understand? Now, tell me everything you fucking know!"

"Ahh…" She groaned.

"Do you think I'm fucking joking? MY WIFE IS GONE!" I slid the razor across the skin of her hairline. She tried to fight, but I pulled her hair back, exposing her newly torn flesh, as blood streamed down her face and stained the snow around us.

"Please! I'll tell you everything," she wailed.

"Start talking before I remove your entire face," I snapped. Either way, I was going kill her.

"All she told me was that she wanted her daughter back. I gave her my badge; she was going to save her daughter. She said that if she stayed with you, she and her son were going to die—"

"Where are they?" I roared, slicing the blade behind her ear, almost detaching it. Her blood flowed, rolling down her face and neck. I doubted her ability to see as she opened her eyes, the normal whites were saturated with red.

"I don't know, I swear all she said is that they were going home! That's all I know, I swear. I'm so sorry, she told me I was saving her…"

"Police!" Hanbin alerted, forcing me to momentarily let her go. Dr. Yang crawled into a little ball, sobbing in the dirt and snow as the rats sniffed her blood. Looking at her broken form, I still wasn't satisfied. She wasn't writhing in pain and that was unacceptable.

Sure enough, down the alleyway a cop car slowed, stepping out with a flashlight. Each one of them pulled out their guns. These fools wouldn't be the first Chicago officers gunned down in a back alleyway, and I didn't have time for this shit.

"Is there problem here?"

"Please! Help me!" Dr. Yang suddenly yelled from behind me. Their eyes went wide, running towards her until they saw my face clearly.

"Ms. Manoban."

"Get in your car. Drive away. You didn't see anything. You have two seconds."

"NO!" Doctor Yang said from behind me. "PLEASE! PLEASE HELP!"

"One," I stated and they both nodded, ignoring her.

"Sorry for bothering you, ma'am," the older of the two men said before turning around and retreating; the doctor gave a defeated cry when his car drove off.

"Kill her, and I want a list of all the properties the Kims held." Wiping the blood off my blade, I headed back to my son.

Jen, I will find you. By God, I will find you.