THIRTY-FIVE

"Imagine trying to live without air. Now imagine something worse."

—Amy Reed

JENNIE

"Five days ago, my wife Jennie Kim Manoban was kidnapped only hours after giving birth to our son. I want her back. My son and I need her. My family and I are offering one hundred million dollars for her safe return. Jen, if you're watching, I'm not giving up. I won't ever give up until I have you back. Our son and I miss you and love you so much…"

"I think that's enough for now." Scarlet's voice grated on every nerve in my body.

My hatred for her continued to fester each moment spent in her presence. She turned off the television, and rushed from the kitchen to place a plate in front of me. "Giant meatballs and spaghetti. Your favorite, right?"

I just stared at her, doing nothing to hide my hatred and disgust for the woman who gave birth to me.

"A hundred million? You should be insulted." She took a seat at the other end of the luxurious dining room table before spreading her napkin and dropping it on her lap. She had chained me to every fucking chair until we reached this place, which, from what I could tell, was on the edge of a beach. Then, I was upgraded to a wheelchair. The last two days had been more of the same rhetoric about how she was trying to save me, how she only did this to protect me.

I didn't know who she was trying to convince.

All this time I thought she was some cold-hearted mastermind, always plotting, always one step ahead of us because she was just that good. But I was wrong. She was delusional; I wasn't even sure if she really understood what she was doing. Part of her still saw me as that little girl she left in the middle of the ocean, while another part of her understood I was grown.

I thought she was strong; I'd admired her tenacity and her tactics in getting what she wanted done efficiently and effectively, but the moment she spoke of her father, Ivan, she became weak. Whatever he had done to her had broken her. She was at his beck and call—his lap dog—and it disgusted me. She was no better than the low-level sycophants that worked for me.

Every day she washed and combed my hair and even dressed me, all while keeping me chained. She treated me like I was her own personal doll. The second day I tried playing nice, today I tried not speaking. There was something seriously wrong with this woman.

Despite my tactics to evoke a reaction from her, she acted as if nothing fazed her. The only time I got a response from her was when I "misbehaved." Other than that, she gave no indication that she was here in this space other than physically. I needed to get out of here but I didn't even know what country I was in.

"Do you need me to get someone to help you, sweetheart?" she asked, cutting into her food with her finely polished silverware. She nodded over at the soon-to-be dead rat's rail thin frame at the door. Nelson came over, and like a robot, he cut into my food before bringing it to my lips.

I guess even sycophants can have sycophants.

Opening my mouth, I took the food into it and chewed it briefly before I spat it into his face.

"JENNIE!"

He took a step back as Scarlet walked forward. Nelson wiped his face slowly before glaring at me.

Scarlet grabbed my face, forcing me to meet her eyes. "I am trying here, Jennie. I want you to be happy with me, okay? I love you, but you have to let go of her and that child. They are your past, a past you would never have had if we could've been together. I love you, so please behave, because I don't want to hurt you."

"The only thing stopping me from snapping your fucking neck right now are these damn cuffs. So fuck y—"

She slapped me so hard my teeth cut the bottom of my lip. Licking the blood off, I looked up to her, smiling. "You're a horrible mother, always have been… always will be."

She slapped me twice, then a third time before she pulled back.

"Stop making me hurt you!"

My face burned and I knew without looking that my cheek would have an imprint of her hand on it.

I laughed without humor, and wondered briefly if her brand of crazy was infectious or hereditary. Banishing the thought from my mind, I focused on the woman breathing harshly before me.

"Is that what dear old grandpa used to say to you?"

"You know nothing."

"I know enough. This isn't helping. You think you are, but you aren't. Let me go, tell me who Ivan is and we can all be free of him."

She shook her head, running her hands through her short hair. "No, no. You don't know him. You don't know anything. Just let me protect you, sweetheart. You can't beat him, no one beats him. It's okay…"

"You, me, and Lisa, we can take—"

"NO! I said no! I'm going to protect you, okay? Me, your mommy. Not Lisa, not anyone else. You're gone now. Ivan won't bother your family. Just be good, Jennie. Be good for me, okay?"

It was like trying to reason with a child having a tantrum. "Ivan is just a man."

"ENOUGH!" Taking a deep breath, she smoothed out her expression. "You've ruined a perfectly enjoyable dinner. You were so well behaved when I was raising you."

"You never raised me, Scarlet."

She looked me in the eyes then and they seemed flat; there was no depth to her, just a hollow shell of the woman that was once my mother. Standing up straighter, she walked over to the fireplace that was situated under a painting of a younger version of herself. Pulling a syringe off the mantle, she sighed before turning to me.

"Scarlet," I hissed, knowing what was coming. I tried to back away from her but she just kept coming.

She brushed the side of my face, and if it weren't for what she was about to do, I'd think she was attempting to be tender. "This will help your pain."

"SCARLET, DON'T!" She pushed my sleeve up my arm and I tried to fight her off but the robot came to her aid, grabbing my shoulders.

"No," I said as the needle found my vein.

"You know what's ironic?" Scarlet asked. "I bought this batch from your dealer."

"Mom," I whispered as everything spun in colors.

"Shh, sweetheart. We will try again tomorrow, okay? You will be good for me later. Everything will look and feel so much better. I promise, okay baby? I promise."

I felt like I was floating, drifting towards Ethan and Lisa. No one could hurt us here. No one could find us; we were all drifting. We were happy, I was happy.

LISA

"Our son and I miss you and love you so much, Jen. Thank you." As I pulled away from the microphones, the reporters began shouting their questions as their camera flashes blinded me.

"Ma'am, the car is ready," Chanyeol said, leading us into the hospital.

We were supposed to be checking out today. The cars were already waiting around back for us. Part of me wanted to stay. I came with my wife; I should be leaving with my wife. But I couldn't stay, the faster I got home, the faster I could get out and work.

My mother stepped forward with my son—my and Jen's son—who was fast asleep wrapped in a small blanket and wool hat. He was a good sleeper. Jen had talked to him in her womb, demanding that he get used to her sleep patterns when he was still in her. It was a tad bit crazy, but mostly beautiful. She claimed she wouldn't be a good mother, but I saw it everyday, and now she didn't even have the chance to prove it to herself.

Before I could walk to him, officer pain-in-my-ass was already on my tail. "Ms. Manoban, we asked you not to do the ransom."

"And I ignored you."

"Ms. Manoban, with a record like that, we are going to get thousands upon thousands of calls distracting us from the real leads, making it harder—"

"Then get more people on the damn phones," I roared. "You want me to do nothing? My wife is out there and I plan on getting her back, even if I have to give away all my money, seeing as how the Chicago PD can't do their jobs."

"You said you wanted a real FBI agent. Well, I called in a favor, Ms. Manoban and we will find your wife. Avian Doers, the director of the FBI has now commissioned a team. Just give us—"

He was cut off as Ethan began to whimper in my mother's arms.

"All I hear are words, Officer. Now if you'll excuse me, my family and I would like to get home."

"Ms. Manoban, is there something you're hi—"

"Officer Scooter," Nickhun said. "Lisa has just asked you to leave us alone. Please do so before we refuse to speak with any more of your kind." He was wheeling in Victoria, who hung her head low as she stared at her thin hands.

The officer shook his head. "I wouldn't advise that, sir. That would only make us think you have something to hide. You don't have anything to hide, correct?"

"Goodbye, Officer," Nickhun said as I took my son. He smelled like air-dried laundry and flowers.

No one had really spoken to me within our family; it was hard to do so when so many people were listening in. Bambam and Mina were at the house, waiting for our return, and doing a sweep of the house…or at least Bambam was. I had no idea what his wife did other than spit poison.

"Oh no you don't," I whispered to the little man. He yawned, his face scrunching up like a prune. "Get some real sleep."

"Lisa, I also got a car seat for him. I gave it to Chanyeol, so it should be in the car," my mother said once we reached the alleyway. The same alleyway the doctor had died in. The fresh snowfall had covered all traces of her.

"Thank you, Mother," I replied, pulling Ethan's hat down to cover his ears. He was more than ready for the weather with all the clothes on him; I was worried he was going to be too warm, but the nurses told me to keep him as warm as possible.

"Lisa, we need to go." My father held the door open for me. I looked at the baby seat and realized this would be his first car ride.

Jen would have wanted to put him in herself.

He yawned once again when I put him inside, smacking his own face a little as he tried to get his thumb into his mouth before drifting off.

Nickhun came up to me with a phone in his hands as I took a seat inside the car. "Bambam says the house is clear. He's ready to fly anywhere you needed him to."

"Have him check it again," I said, rolling up the window. Without another word Chanyeol drove, leaving the rest of them to get into the fourth car. The car before us and behind us pulled in tightly. Through the rear mirror I could see our men.

"Ma'am," Chanyeol said. "I have to tell you something."

"Are you betraying us, Chanyeol?" Because somebody was…someone close and he was as close as they came.

His eyes met mine through the mirror before he shook his head. "No, Ma'am. Never."

As if the guilty ever admitted it.

"Then speak."

"There is this rumor spreading among the Koreans that you had the boss taken and killed."

My blood felt as though it was boiling right under my skin. I didn't have time for this shit!

"How bad?"

"The old five families are meeting tonight. They want your head."

"How did you come by this information, Chanyeol?"

He smiled. "The boss, Ma'am. Hanbin handled the men in the house, and I handle the moles outside. When Jennie took over, she made sure to have a mole within all the old families. It's how she stayed ahead. Only I know who they are, but they are completely loyal to her."

Apparently my wife had more secrets than I knew. "They reported to you?"

"They aren't aware of Scarlet or Ivan. That's how the boss wanted it. They knew nothing about her or her family, and she knew everything about them. Now they don't know what to believe," he said, obviously picking his words very carefully. "What do you want me to do?"

My phone rang before I could answer.

"Nickhun."

"That burn phone Scarlet used didn't tell us where—"

"Nickhun. Why was he wasting my time?"

"Lisa, I was able to get a record of all the calls she made on a payphone near the train station. I got the camera feed, and you will never believe who was there to pick up her call. They finally fucked up."

"Nickhun."

"Adriana, Lisa. Adriana is the mole. I'll send the video to your phone."

JENNIE

"Agh…" I moaned. I still felt like I was spinning, and there was a horrible taste in the back of my throat. Nelson sat on the other end of the tea table, which had nothing but sweets on it. The rest of the room was about the size of my closet back home; it didn't make sense, it was designed for adults but covered in small dolls.

"Where's Scarlet?"

"Most likely calling your right-hand woman. Adriana, right? Did you know she was the reason I got a position on your jet?" He leaned back in his chair. "No, you wouldn't have known that. Your mother outsmarted you in every way, and you can't even be a nice little girl for her."

This motherfucker.

"Look who found his balls."

"I never lost them! Do you remember this?" he asked, lifting the stained white jacket I had given him the very first time we met.

But I wouldn't waste my breath on him.

"When you threw this at my face like I was less than human, it took all of my control not to put a bullet in you right then and there." He pulled a gun out from behind him, placing it on the tea table. "You told me to give it to my sister not knowing it was your drugs that killed her!"

"People die everyday, I don't force them to take the things they do."

"Don't play coy with me!" he yelled. "You don't know how long I've waited for this day. You destroyed my family. She was doing so well, and then you had to tempt her with your new shit. They were so fucking strong, she lost it. You fucking killed her!"

"Your family destroyed itself. Don't blame me because your sister lacked self-control! Would you threaten McDonald's because you ate their food and got high blood pressure? Now please, get out of my fucking face, you little prick." My head felt as though it was going to explode.

"I thought you'd say that. You have no fucking shame," he hissed, pulling out the same syringe Scarlet had used. "I wonder how much fucking self-control you'll have left. By the time I'm done, you'll be begging for it."

Again I pulled on the cuffs; they were weaker. Five days of pulling had started to wear them out. But before I could do anything, he held my arm down.

"Think wisely, Nelson," I said. "I will break free and—"

"Shut up!" His fist connected with my cheek. "You're full of nothing but hot fucking air."

"Don't."

But he didn't listen. Once again, the needle found its way into my vein, and once again I felt euphoria. Biting my lip, I tried to ignore the colors in my eyes, the pleasure flowing through my body.

He pulled my hair back, smiling only an inch from my face. "What was it that you called my sister, a crack-whore?"

He stroked the side of my face with his gun as if I were his pet, and even brushed back my hair with his other hand. "How do you feel?"

Throwing my head forward, I smashed it against his nose.

"FUCK!" he screamed, holding onto his nose. The best thing about being so fucking high was that nothing hurt and I felt invincible. So even when I should have stopped as the cuff dug into my skin, I pulled hard against them and for the first time in five days I managed to free my wrist. I wish I could have said the same for my ankles.

He turned as blood dripped down his nose, but before he could point his gun in my direction, I grabbed the fork on the table and stabbed him as hard as I could. I thrust the fork so hard into his arm that the only reason it stopped was because it hit bone. He dropped the gun, reached over and clawed at my hands trying in vain to pull the fork out; a feat I was sure his scrawny ass would never accomplish.

"You little bitch!" He reached for my hair again, but I pulled the fork from his arm, causing him to scream before I stabbed him in the shoulder. This time, I didn't linger in one place too long. I stabbed him over and over, and his blood splattered across my face until his knees buckled, forcing him to kneel before me. He held onto his neck, trying to stop the river of blood that was soaking his shirt.

"You should have walked away!" Pulling the fork out one last time, I drove it into his throat. "You should have never fucking crossed me, bitch. Scream and you'll bleed out faster."

Pushing him out of my face, he fell onto the floor. He looked like a fish out of water, trying to breathe, yet drowning in his own blood. I had no idea how much time I had. Scarlet came to me every night to read, smack, or insult me, depending on how she was feeling.

"Keys," I hissed, pointing down at my ankles. He wasn't dead yet, the least he could do was be helpful. But he didn't move; his eyes slowly began to turn into his skull.

Well he's useless.

I had no other choice but to use the bloody fork. Bending to the chains at my feet, I tried to focus, all too aware of the clock ticking behind me.

"Focus, Jen. Focus." It didn't help. The drugs burned in my veins. What was worse was the voice in the back of my mind. I wanted to give into the false sense of peace they provided. I wanted to be on a different plane with Lisa and Ethan again. I was fucked in every sense of the word, but I couldn't focus on that now.

"Finally." Pulling off the chains around my feet, I tried to stand, but my legs buckled under my own weight. Grabbing hold of the end of the table, I wobbled over to Nelson. I took the gun right next to his head and kneeled next to him, pressing it into his eye.

"Where is she?"

He didn't get a chance to reply before the door opened. "Shit, Cod—"

Before he could even get the words out, I fired, signaling a parade of alarms to sound throughout the house.

"You…re…ne…ver…get…ting…out…" Nelson sneered as the blood poured from his ears.

"Tell your sister I said hello." I thrust the gun into his eye before pulling the trigger.

Step one: Call Lisa.

Step two: Kill Scarlet.

LISA

We fucked up. Jen and I had come to trust the people that surrounded us. We'd gotten used to them, and in a way, we cared for them as though they were our own family. But they weren't. The truth was, they were broken China that we'd found, hot glued together, and still tried to use. No matter how hard we tried, and no matter how much glue we used, it would never change the fact that they were cracked; broken plates would never be reliable. A broken cup still leaked.

We had trusted Adriana. I had trusted Adriana. Yet here I was, standing on platform B of the Ogilvie transportation center, waiting for Judas. My hand trembled with rage, wanting nothing more than to rip her apart. For five days she had watched us, watched me and my son suffer in agony; she probably laughed her ugly fucking head off.

"Boss, she's coming your way," Chanyeol spoke in my ear. When I turned towards the stairs there she was, blonde wig, giant glasses and all.

When she saw me, she tried to turn, but Chanyeol was already waiting behind her. Pulling off her wig, she turned to me, sighing deeply as she made her final free walk towards me.

"I've been waiting for you to find out," she whispered, keeping her head down.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"What does Scarlet want?"

"To save her from Ivan. Lis—"

Grabbing her arm, I pulled her closer to me. "Do not say my name. I want to snap your fucking neck right now. Was Antonio betraying us too, or were you lying to everyone?"

"No. Antonio would have never—"

"And yet you did." She winced as I squeezed. "Who is Ivan?"

"He's demented, a psychopath."

"So are we! The only reason you're still alive is because Jennie would want to kill you herself."

"I've suffered," she whispered. "I did this to protect her. Scarlet may be insane but she knows how to protect her! She's been doing it for years. She loves—"

"Do you hear yourself?" How had we been so blind to who she really was? "Make contact now."

The moment I let go, she wiped the tears falling from her eyes. It only served to anger me even more. How dare she cry!

"Adriana, do not test my patience."

"After taking Jennie, Scarlet sent me this." She threw her phone at me.

If she had this, why did she bother coming?

"She calls every Thursday at 12:01am. Answer only on the third ring. Tell Jen I'm so sorry."

I didn't even have time to blink. She threw herself off the platform, and her body disappeared as the train swept it down the tunnel, screeching as it tried to stop.

"Fuck."