Garrus looked around nervously. This part of the Presidium was far too crowded for his liking; he didn't feel very comfortable in large groups of people. It went against all of his instincts as a sniper and what he was used to as a soldier. But this was the place he'd been supposed to get, so he awkwardly stood there, leaning on the wall, trying to appear aloof and casual. The looks a few passersby shot him suggested he wasn't doing a good job.
"Garrus. You came."
He immediately stood up straight.
"Shepard. Hi..." He drifted off, staring at the human standing in front of him. "I... Wow."
Her hair was... different. At first, he thought that maybe she'd cut it again, but no, it was still all there, just... in a completely different shape than the one he was used to. All of it had been pulled up to the top of her head, where it had been pinned by various utensils he couldn't name or recognize, styled into a fantastical roll.
"Your... hair," he managed to choke out. He wanted to touch it so badly. It was only social norms that held him back. "It's... wow."
"Oh..." Shepard laughed nervously. "Yeah, I suppose you've never seen me with my hair up. This is just a bun, nothing special, really..."
"Speak for yourself." Garrus couldn't keep his eyes off her head. What else could she do with her hair? He stared at her, completely mesmerized by the structures, loops, and twists individual hair strands had to take in order to produce this... bun, had she called it? "You're really something else, Shepard, you know that?"
She shook her head and he got the idea that she also wanted to roll her eyes at him. She was treating all of this human stuff as completely normal; she wasn't seeing how absolutely wonderful it was to someone who'd never seen it before.
Then again, Garrus thought, it also goes the other way around... He'd seen Shepard get overwhelmed by things he considered completely natural or had never given second thoughts to.
"You wanted to see me...?" He immediately regretted asking it that way, because it sounded much more formal than he would have liked.
"We've been on the Citadel for almost a month now." She put a hand on her hip, a small smirk playing on her lips. "And I can remember you promising to buy me a drink once we're on the Citadel. In fact," she raised an eyebrow, "you said it at least on three occasions. I'm just holding you to your word."
"I did promise you that, didn't I... Feels like so long ago. It completely slipped my mind."
Shepard looked at him with an expression that he couldn't, for the life of him, begin to decipher. "I can see that."
Garrus thought for a moment. He hadn't been to the Citadel in a few years, but he still remembered a few places that should be open even this early in the day.
"Alright," he said. "I think I know a great place we can go. You're not allergic to milk, are you?"
She deadpanned. "What kind of milk? You're talking about alien milk now. How am I supposed to know?"
He held up a finger, but he couldn't find anything to say to that argument. He just shut up afterward.
Garrus nodded at the barkeeper and held up two fingers.
He could tell the salarian was trying very hard not to stare at Shepard because it got to the point of him actively avoiding looking at her and only focusing on Garrus instead—which was probably him trying to be considerate but didn't come off as such.
Then again, it was slightly better than all the looks they got from practically everyone else around. Even though there was already a small population of humans living on the Citadel—mostly politicians and diplomats—they still weren't a common sight. Garrus instinctively put a hand around Shepard's waist, keeping her close to his body as if that would change anything.
Her shoulders tensed. "People are just gonna be... staring, huh?"
"Well, I can't say I blame them. You're beautiful. I'd be staring at you too."
Shepard glanced at him. "You are staring at me." She shoved her hand into his face, a playful push. He laughed.
"One levo, one dextro, coming up," the salarian barkeeper passed them two nearly identical cups.
"Thanks." Garrus took his drink and flashed a credit chit at the terminal.
"So, what do you call these?" Shepard stirred her drink with the straw as they walked down the boulevard.
"Sokni. They're actually really good if you're looking for non-alcoholic options." Garrus took a sip of his drink. As refreshing as he remembered.
He looked up at Shepard. She was smiling at him with a strange, knowing look in her eyes.
"What is it...?" Garrus clicked his mandibles. "Oh. Is... this supposed to be that... first date thing?"
She laughed.
"Sure, big guy. Why not." She took a sip of her sokni. "Mmm, that's really good. They don't make 'em like that in Alliance mess halls."
"Yeah. So you're, uh... a soldier, then?" What a beautifully stupid question to ask. Great job, Vakarian.
"...Yeah. So are you." She was looking at him as if she were about to burst into laughter. Garrus wasn't sure if he wanted to just die or to kill himself.
"True enough," he muttered. This is a disaster. It wasn't that he didn't know how to talk to people - it was just that when things turned to the romantic, it suddenly got so real... And with Shepard? He cared about Shepard. He really, really didn't want to screw it up with her. Which of course meant that he was that much more likely to screw it up. "I, uh... I'm sorry... This feels so awkward." Great. You've said that. Internally, he was screaming. Oh, I hate myself.
"Maybe we could just skip the whole pretending-we-don't-know-each-other thing?" Shepard exhaled, amused. "Might get hard to keep track of."
"Yeah... Yeah." Garrus nodded. "First date doesn't mean we have to... you know. Pretend."
"Why don't we just... get to know each other? Outside of the work aspect, I mean."
"And we'd do that... How, exactly?"
"Look, there's no need to make this thing any more awkward than it already is," she chuckled nervously. Her fingers idly played with her hair. "Why don't you just ask me something about myself and... then I can ask you something. Like that."
"Huh... There's so much I want to know," Garrus realized. They'd been together for a few weeks now and despite that, he still didn't really know her. Even the simple things. "Like, um..." He shrugged. "I don't know. What's your favourite colour?"
"I've... been partial to blue lately," Shepard answered after a moment's deliberation. For some reason, she blushed. "Yours?"
"It's called mellory... I don't think humans can see it." Most species couldn't. Some issue with reflected light or something.
Shepard leaned in, intrigued. "What's it look like?"
Garrus stared at her, hoping she would understand what she'd just asked him.
"How do you even describe a colour?" he asked once it became apparent that she didn't see the difficulty of that task.
"I don't know, the way you describe anything." She looked around, as if searching for inspiration. "Like... Red is the warmth of the sun on closed eyelids, and the crackling of a fire. Blue is the feeling of putting one foot in cool water on a summer's day. Green is the smell of fresh flowers in spring and the taste of water from a mountain creek. Yellow is..." She blinked. "...Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You're a soldier," Garrus said slowly.
"I thought that much was clear."
"No, I meant... You're not at all like what I expected."
"What did you expect, then?"
"I don't know. You're usually more closed off and professional... I was expecting a soldier. A person who wouldn't step out of line as often as you have been. Someone without your confidence, someone who definitely wouldn't have come up with all that poetic stuff about colours. I guess... someone like me."
She didn't answer that for a moment, absently staring into her drink.
"I... don't think you give yourself enough credit," she said eventually, carefully weighing every word that left her mouth. "I think you're... so much more than what you think of yourself."
"That's a nice thought. But no, I don't think I am." Not compared to her, definitely.
Shepard pursed her lips. Neither of them spoke for a while.
"So your favourite colour. What does it look like? Now that I've taught you to describe colours."
"Hmpf." Garrus crossed his arms. He couldn't say he was sold on her idea of describing colour. The way he saw it, it was something that couldn't be put into words. But then he looked at her and she was looking at him with so much expectation that he couldn't leave her hanging. "I mean... I guess..." He thought. Mellory. What did mellory look like? No. The way she'd described colors was more about feelings than appearances. "I guess it's like... when you shoot a gun after you've cleaned it for the first time in a while. Or when you get home after a long and tiring day."
"It sounds nice."
"It is." It was also the exact colour of the lightwaves reflecting in her eyes. Garrus didn't mention that part aloud, he didn't want to come on too strong. "...Shepard, why did you ask me out now?"
She sighed. She used her straw to draw circles inside her drink and only focused on that for a while.
"They asked me to be Ambassador," she said eventually. "Full-time."
Garrus straightened up. "That's great! That's great news." He looked at her and immediately regretted the energy he'd chosen to respond to the news with. Shepard wasn't enthusiastic at all.
"Except what if it's not? This is not how I imagined my career going... well, ever."
"You did good those few days as ambassador," Garrus noticed.
"Yeah, that's why they asked me. I don't know... I feel like this might end up getting out of hand, and... It should be a politician instead of me. It should be someone who knows how this all works... Besides, you don't want a soldier in your most important diplomatic position. "
"Why wouldn't you want a soldier as ambassador?" Garrus wrinkled his nose, trying to follow the idea. "What's wrong with soldiers?"
She snorted.
"What isn't?"
He looked down. "Back home, everyone has to go through mandatory military service. Part of growing up." His nose twitched a bit. "Every turian is a soldier, in a way... What's wrong with soldiers?"
Shepard didn't answer. She smiled.
"You're cute, Vakarian." She booped his nose. Garrus couldn't tell if she was really feeling better or if she was just masking her feelings.
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
"No idea. I mean... If I say yes, we'll just have to spend a lot more time together. That doesn't sound so bad."
Garrus flared his mandibles, smiling. "It doesn't."
He'd been offered a job at the embassies a few weeks earlier, which he'd reluctantly accepted. It would probably cause some raised eyebrows to see a turian working at the human embassy, but he would be mainly handling foreign affairs, nothing representative. Besides, it was a job—and his only alternative would have been C-Sec, which he didn't really see happening. If he was going to push papers all day anyway, he would prefer to do it with Shepard than alone.
"You know I can't tell you what to do?" He stopped by a trash can to throw out his now-empty cup. He wasn't going to make Shepard's decision for her. Especially if it was one that would affect her entire species.
"I know. That's not why I wanted to see you." She blushed for some reason Garrus couldn't understand, and kept on staring only at her feet—deliberately avoiding looking him in the eyes. "...I already agreed."
Garrus tried to hide his surprise. It really helped that she wasn't looking at him.
"Why... did you want to see me, then?" he asked quietly.
Shepard stopped. She nervously tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm going to be a public person now... I have no idea what that means for us."
"Why does it have to mean anything?" Garrus stood beside her. "Why can't it just be us? Like it was on Shanxi?"
"But we're not on Shanxi anymore," she said quietly. "Things are different now, and they are gonna be different... I just— I don't want to drag you into anything... anything."
"You won't," Garrus said simply.
She looked up at him. "You can't know that."
He shook his head, amused. She was completely missing the point he was trying to make.
"You won't drag me into anything," he repeated, this time with more certainty. "No. You won't drag me into anything. That's it. You can't drag me into anything I haven't already dragged myself into. Believe me, if there are any more repercussions to come from our choices, they won't just be because of what you do. I've made choices too—choices that led to us ending up here. I..." He couldn't help chuckling. "We're in this together, Shepard—whether you like it or not. We've been for a while now."
She just stared at him, her lips moving even though no sound left them.
"...I didn't think of that," she said eventually.
"Well, I did." Garrus laughed nervously. "I've...had a while to think on it, actually. And the thing is... Our lives are now intertwined. In so many ways, we've forced ourselves together. You can't drag me into anything because chances are, I'll already be there with you." He exhaled nervously. "...Like it or not, we're a team now."
Shepard smiled.
"Well, I for one think we'll make a great team."