Chapter Two: The Bird and the Snake
In a rather futile effort to placate his young ward, Amon had announced shortly after Nagira departed that they would take an excursion to a nearby café. There were some things that Robin could simply not refuse – espresso being one of these. He watched her now, quietly sipping her coffee as they sat on the café's veranda, iced this time, still insistent on giving him the cold shoulder. That was fine. He would let her stew in her female anger. Perhaps this was what he needed to get Robin off his trail for a while. She could finally understand that he, like all men, was not perfect. His attention turned towards the iced coffee within his own hand.
"Did Nagira say who he was meeting today?" Amon ventured, not particularly interested in the answer.
Robin's head came up quickly, startled by Amon's voice. She shook her head and looked to the ground. "No, he didn't. I forgot to ask."
"That's fine, it doesn't really matter" he assured, then paused. "I know that we just bought all of those groceries, but I was wondering if you would like to eat at the hotel restaurant tonight. Perhaps somewhere new?"
Slowly, Robin's expression changed, growing softer as she considered her options. "The hotel restaurant would be fine," she said eventually. Her gaze returned to the empty coffee container. "Maybe I should get another," Robin wondered aloud.
"I think you've had enough coffee for the day," he replied, leaning over the table and pulling the receptacle out of her hand. Amon pointedly sent his brain the command to ignore the electrical jolt through his body as their fingers briefly connected. "You really should cut back."
Robin did not answer, merely glaring instead by way of a reply. Pushing back his chair, Amon stood up and extended his hand. "Ready for dinner?" She glanced at his outstretched arm a moment then accepted with a reluctant smile, blushing when she bumped against him as she stood.
The two remained silent as they picked their way back to the hotel. They were often quiet around the other, but today the silence seemed almost oppressive to Amon. There was also an uncomfortable nagging in his mind that he couldn't place.
"I should probably change," Robin said suddenly as they entered the lobby.
Amon turned to face her, his eyes involuntarily running over her figure. "What?"
She looked down to her clothes. "I think I should probably change before dinner," she repeated. At Amon's dubious face, her eyes wavered. "You know, look a little nicer."
Amon shrugged. "Fine. I'll be waiting." He squinted into the restaurant. "Probably at the bar," he added.
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Robin waited until Amon had fully entered the restaurant, before turning to hurry towards the elevator in the lobby. She was halfway there before a man in a hotel uniform flagged her down. Surprised, she spun around to meet the employee.
"Miss, this message came for you," was all the man said before thrusting a folded piece of yellow paper at her and promptly scurrying away.
Perplexed, Robin hurried to the elevator, opening the paper as she went. The elevator doors closing behind her, Robin felt her heart skip a beat as she recognized Nagira's handwriting on the page. Quickly she skimmed the words.
Robin,
I think I may have found someone who can read the microfiche. I should be able to give you the information when I see you again tomorrow. Cross your fingers.
Nagira
Heart racing, Robin skimmed the words several times, then collapsed against the rear wall of the elevator. Tomorrow. She would discover what secrets the microfiche held tomorrow. In the meantime, she still needed to find the right time to broach the subject to Amon. Robin's hands quaked at the thought.
Over dinner, she decided with a determined nod as the elevator doors opened. Robin would tell him over dinner – which happened to be in a few minutes. Quickly, she rushed to her suitcase and rummaged through her belongings, tucking the note inside. Something nice. Her hands stopped rummaging, a pain coursing through her heart. Why did she continue to dress up for Amon anyway? Robin fought back the ever familiar rising anger. It wasn't as though he ever noticed when she went out of her way to look good for him. At least he never said anything. She frowned, lost in her thoughts on Amon. Her mind wandered back to the evening before and to the odd look in his eyes tonight as he had looked her over after she had insisted on changing for dinner.
On the other hand…
Hadn't Amon said he wasn't interested in finding a woman just before he shared his bed with her? That had to mean something. Didn't it? Robin sighed and resumed scavenging through her luggage. If only she could just get inside that man's head, maybe then she could understand him a bit better.
Maybe.
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Amon had hardly taken a sip of his whiskey before a familiar face sidled up to him.
"Hi!" the woman they had seen earlier greeted with a coy smile. This time she was dressed more casually then at the grocery store that morning. "Fancy meeting you here."
Amon turned his head away. "Indeed."
"You're alone, I see."
"For the moment."
"I see," she repeated, before sticking her hand out at Amon. "My name is Janet. I'm here visiting Japan for business." Grudgingly, Amon reciprocated, finding the woman's hand surprisingly strong. Her eyes sparkled in amusement when he remained silent. "And your name would be?" she asked pointedly.
"Amon," he responded tersely.
"Amon," she repeated slowly with a nod. "Just a first name, but I guess that's a start." Janet took a sip from her own drink. "I wonder why someone would name their child after an Egyptian god," she mused aloud.
Amon merely shrugged his shoulders. "Are you positive that it isn't my last name?"
Janet's smile widened into a grin. "I guess it could be." She paused. "If you have a son, you could name him Akhenaten," she mused. "Or I guess Tutankhaten is also a possibility."
"That would depend on what the child's mother would want in a name."
"I suppose," Janet replied with a sigh. She leaned forward conspiratorially. "What do you say to dinner?"
His hand holding the drink stopped halfway to his mouth in mild surprise, Amon paused and looked to the woman. "Dinner?" he repeated.
"Yes." Janet hesitated. "I hope you do not think too much of me being so forward."
"No, it's not that," Amon responded, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I already have plans for dinner," he finished evasively.
Janet stared at the side of his face for a few moments. "I see," she said.
He shot a glance from the corner of his eye. "Don't take it personally. People have told me that I'm difficult to get to know."
The woman smiled sadly. "That's not it. You're already involved with someone, aren't you?"
Puzzled, Amon turned to face her. "What makes you say that?"
"Please don't think I'm vain or self-centered, but men – whether single or attached -- only refuse me if they already have someone else they care about," Janet replied with a little laugh.
Amon turned away and took another sip of his whiskey. "I assure you, I'm not involved with anyone at the moment." A part of his brain nagged about why he was so insistent to establish this point to a complete stranger.
"Are you staying at this hotel alone?" Janet asked pointedly.
His drink finished, Amon gently set it on the counter. "No," he admitted quietly without looking up.
"Are you staying with that girl I saw you with earlier?"
"I'm her legal guardian."
Janet did not respond, merely lifting an eyebrow at the clipped remark. That and the uncomfortable aura wafting off Amon in waves.
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Smartly dressed in a different black calf-length skirt – this one with small slits in the sides – and bravely sporting a short-sleeve, fitted pale blue blouse, Robin arrived downstairs to the lobby. After the news from Nagira, she was elated and quickly growing a little braver to tell Amon about her recent discovery in the amulet. Her joy, however, quickly fell as she spotted Amon at the bar as he had said he would be, but chatting with the very same woman from earlier that day. In disbelief, she stood frozen to the ground as she watched them a few moments, before numbly turning around and exiting the restaurant.
In the lobby, she paced along the creamy marbled floor from one side to the other. Confused and hurt, Robin mused over the situation. She had agreed to meet Amon in the restaurant, so she couldn't very well return to their room. On the other hand, Robin could not bring herself to go inside and confront the two either.
What to do. What to do…
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Feeling something amiss, Amon found himself strumming his fingers impatiently along the bar counter. He leaned back towards Janet. "Do you know what time it is?" he asked lowly.
She glanced down at her watch. "It's a little after seven."
Amon turned back to face forward, brows creasing. After seven. That meant it had been well over a half an hour since he had sat down at the bar. His frown increased as his dormant Hunter skills picked up. Something had to be wrong with Robin to keep her for so long. The bartender re-approached the two, offering more drinks. Janet accepted, but Amon tossed some bills on the counter and stood up.
"Please excuse me," he said politely before turning to leave. Janet merely lifted a delicate hand in farewell and sighed in disappointment.
Deciding the first place he should check was their room, just to be sure, Amon hurried towards the elevators. He stopped short as he caught sight of Robin pacing the lobby, a distressed expression on her face. A short sleeve shirt, he noted as he took in her pale, thin arms. She needs more sunlight. Perplexed, Amon strode up to her.
"Robin, where have you been?" he asked. Robin stopped short, swiveling around abruptly, her mouth opening in surprise at having been caught.
"Wh-what?"
"Where have you been," Amon repeated. "Don't you want to get dinner?"
"I, uh, um…not really." Her face flushed and she looked down at the ground.
"Robin," he began patiently, "what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied insistently, then turned and punched the up button for the elevator with her index finger. Behind them, Janet exited out of the restaurant, pausing as she caught sight of Amon and Robin. The two females' eyes met briefly, then Robin snapped her head around to glare at the elevator doors. Amon intently watched her shift from one foot to the other. "You seemed busy," she shot back.
"Don't be ridiculous," Amon retorted as the doors opened and they stepped a side to allow the people within to exit. "We were going to have dinner and I was waiting for you at the bar as I had said I would be."
Robin crossed her arms and rested her back against the elevator wall, stubbornly refusing to meet Amon's eye. He nearly kicked the wall in frustration. Fine, his mind spat back. The doors opened and the two silently strode through the hallways to their room. Amon had removed his key, ready to unlock the door, but Robin reached it first, quickly swiping her key card and simultaneously giving the door a shove. The first place she went was the kitchenette, rummaging through the cupboards until she extracted a package of the instant ramen they had purchased earlier that day. Amon sat down at the bar separating the kitchen from the living area, choosing to watch his young ward stamp around the kitchenette. At this point, there was nothing he could say that would rectify the situation, so he instead settled for observing her childish antics.
"Do you want some, too?" Robin muttered as she prepared the kettle with water.
"Sure," he responded neutrally, struggling in vain to hide his annoyance and growing frown.
The water heating, Robin busied herself with organizing the cupboards. Normally Robin put away the groceries and liked the goods to be stored in a certain way. Seeing that she had no desire to communicate with him, Amon suppressed a groan and stood up from the bar. He paced the room a bit, coming to stop between the two beds. Amon's hand came up, covering his face as he thought of how to alleviate the problem. Happening to glance down at the bed, he stopped short as he saw a yellow piece of paper sticking up slightly from Robin's bag. It wasn't the note itself that piqued Amon's interest, but rather the fact that he recognized his brother's handwriting. What is this? Glancing covertly into the kitchen to check that Robin was still preoccupied, Amon extracted the note. His eyes widened as he skimmed the words.
Microfiche? Information?
A rising anger began to build within Amon at the realization. Robin somehow had obtained information and apparently turned to Nagira for help. She had gone to his brother instead of him. Amon felt sick at her betrayal of their trust. Robin had hidden something from him, preferring Nagira to her guardian. A flicker of movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention and he looked up to find Robin staring at him in horror. His face hardened and he held out the note.
"What is this?" Amon asked, his voice icy.
She rushed forward, grasping at the note. Amon held it high and just out of reach, eyes boring into hers, pinning her in place.
"You don't have any right to go through my things," she objected weakly, hands clenched at her sides.
"What is this?" Amon repeated just as coldly as the first time. She stood there motionless, a mixture of fear, dread and anger written on her face. "Robin!"
She started at the sound of her name, breaking out of her dread. "I was going to tell you tonight at dinner," she whispered.
"Tell me what?" he snapped back in an impatient tone.
Robin cringed. "I-I, um, found something within my mother's amulet." Amon waited silently for her to continue. "There was a small tube hidden inside. Na-Nagira said it was something called microfiche."
"And why didn't you tell me when you had found this microfiche?" he asked coolly. "Why didn't you come to me the moment you found this information?" Amon continued, his voice now growing louder in anger. Robin opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came. Before he could stop himself, Amon found himself asking the question primarily on his mind.
"Why don't you trust me?"
Amon's voice betrayed him, the hurt obvious in his tone. At his words, Robin anger emerged and she lunged forward to snatch the note from his hand. It crumpled as she turned away, her free hand covering her face. Amon stood uneasily to the side, unsure of how to proceed. After a moment, she turned towards him, a look of sadness on her face.
"You really don't know why I choose to go to Nagira over you?" At his perplexed expression, she explained. "I don't know what's on that microfiche, but it is most likely more information about my past." Robin shook her head. "You – your feelings on witches…me…I just couldn't tell you." Her voice was barely audible and Amon took another tentative step forward to hear her better. "I couldn't take the chance to alienate you even more until I was positive of what information the amulet contained." Robin lips turned upward into a small, sad smile. "I went to Nagira, because I knew he wouldn't…care. It wouldn't matter to him whatever more he found out about my past."
Amon stared at her as her voice trailed off, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. Robin turned away again and he took a few tentative steps forward. "Robin, you can always come to me whenever you need help. I take my duties to you very seriously."
Immediately, her head came up as she spun around. "Duty? I'm your duty?" Robin spat. She was so openly furious, even Amon was taken aback at her anger. "That's all you see me as, isn't it? You stay with me to make sure I don't lose control and harm others. What you said last night about protecting me wasn't true, was it? You stay with me to protect others, not me."
Robin turned on her heel and fled to the door instead of waiting for an answer. Amon barely managed to get to the exit before she did, letting her collide against his body. His arms came up to surround her, attempting to keep her against him.
"Move!" she shouted, struggling to get around him. Amon did not respond, passively preventing Robin from moving around him. "Stop it!" she cried, stumbling backwards as she pushed against his chest. Robin's hand formed into a fist and she threw a punch against Amon's shoulder. Her touch was so light, he barely moved at its impact. For a moment, Robin stared in disbelief at him, shocked she had had so little force behind her fist. Her anger returned and this time she lifted both fists, bringing them squarely down against Amon's chest with a solid thud before collapsing against him, exhausted and frustrated. Amon's arms came up again, pulling her tightly against his chest. He pulled the hair away from her face as she leaned against him, wishing that he could rewind time so the two of them could restart the day. Exhaling through his nose, Amon bent over and placed his cheek upon her head. As Robin slowly calmed down, he closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her body tucked tightly against his. Her knees buckled suddenly, leaving Amon little time to catch her before she fell fully. They fell to the carpeted floor, Amon resting his head against the door and bringing Robin back to his chest.
"I'm sorry, Robin," he murmured into her hair. She lifted her face, green eyes puffy and sad once more, gazing into his face curiously. He lifted a finger, carefully running it down Robin's cheek. "I shouldn't have confronted you as I did," he explained. "I was…angry."
"Angry?" she repeated cautiously.
"Yes. I was angry that you chose to go to Nagira first over me."
"I was going to –"
Amon silenced her with a finger to her lips. "It's alright, Robin. I understand why you did what you did." His eyes traveled south, resting on her mouth trembling slightly under his forefinger. After a moment, his gaze returned to Robin's eyes. She stared at him expectantly. Amon hesitated, unable to tear himself away from the sight of Robin's face, his heart pounding wildly within his chest. As he felt them incrementally move closer towards the other, Robin's eyes took on a hopeful look. Fighting back the inevitable, Amon furiously struggled to divert the situation.
"Are you still interested in that tattoo?"
Her face crinkled in confusion. "Are you serious?" she asked as she sat on her heels.
He nodded and brushed the hair from her face. "Yes. I'll get one, too." Amon smiled lightly as Robin looked to him in dismay. "Get your coat."
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A mere fifteen minutes later, Amon had managed to track down a reputable establishment. The two sat in the front of the store on bar stools, each leafing through a binder chock full of various designs. He fought down a smile as he watched Robin carefully study each design.
"Nervous?" he asked, leaning over to her. Robin lifted her face and shook her head no. "Really?"
"I'm not nervous at all," she replied confidently. She pushed her binder towards him and pointed to one in particular. "I think you should get this one," Robin announced.
Amon carefully took the binder and studied the one she had indicated. "A phoenix," he said slowly, a small smile forming on his face. He looked back to her waiting face. "I think it's a good idea." Immediately, Robin's face broke into a pleased smile.
Rising from his seat, Amon picked up the binder and approached the counter. "Would you be able to use this design to cover an existing tattoo?"
The man behind the counter stood from his stool and glanced down at the design indicated. "Depends on the original tattoo, but we should be able to work with whatever you've got. Rei is an expert at covering existing tattoos.
Robin had risen from the table and now hovered near Amon's elbow. "You're going to get rid of your old tattoo?"
Amon barely glanced down to her. "I no longer need it." Amon returned his attention to the binding, flipping through some more pages until a particular snake design caught his eye. "Where did you plan on getting your tattoo?" he asked of Robin without looking up.
She tilted her head to the side. "I was thinking about my left shoulder blade – possibly on my lower back."
"Left shoulder blade. The lower back is too stereotypical for females." He slid the binder across the counter. "You picked out mine, so I get to pick out yours." With that, Amon plopped his forefinger in the middle of the design.
"An oroborus," she said, looking up to Amon with a smile. "Alright."
"Very well then," the man behind the counter said. "I'm Takahashi and I will be doing the tattoo for the girl this evening. You two come back here and we'll get everything set up." The man led them behind the counter and settled them in different areas. Amon quickly unbuttoned his shirt when instructed, then stripped off his undershirt.
A different man – apparently the Rei that Takahashi had mentioned earlier – examined Amon's tattoo. "This shouldn't be a problem to cover up," the man said after a moment. "However, it will look different from how the design appeared in the binder." Without waiting for Amon to object, the man set about getting his supplies ready. Amon turned his head, nearly doubling over in shock as he found Robin lying face down on a table without a single article of clothing covering her top half, save a piece of cloth draped over her back. She attempted to remain neutral, but Amon had no difficulties seeing that she was uncomfortable. The flush over her face and body was evidence enough. Takahashi barely glanced at Robin's bare back as he prepared his tools. She met Amon's eye briefly, then glanced away.
"This will probably hurt, especially seeing as this is your first time," the man warned as he began drawing the design on her shoulder blade. Robin nodded back to him. Amon watched her carefully, letting himself relax gradually.
"You lift weights often?" the man at Amon's side asked suddenly, startling him.
"Not as often as I would like, but yes."
Rei nodded appreciatively. "Good muscle tone."
Amon glanced back to Robin, catching her staring at his bare torso. She started and quickly averted her eyes.
"So," Takahashi began, not looking up from his work on Robin's back, "what made you decide to get a tattoo? And especially at your age?"
"I wanted one," Robin answered airily. She smiled as the man laughed at the response.
"I see. It's fairly uncommon for us to see someone your age getting a tattoo." He stopped and looked to Amon. "It's even more odd when said person gets a tattoo along with their guardian."
Amon shrugged. "It was time for a change for me and an early birthday present for Robin."
Takahashi quirked an eyebrow as a third man came into the room. He had so many piercings, Amon's face hurt just looking at him. Holding a cigarette in one hand, the third man leaned against the wall and gave them a thoughtful look.
"I saw this show on the TV the other day about some city in the US where sixteen year old girls are given boob jobs for their birthdays." He gestured towards Robin. "In perspective, it's not that strange that she's getting a tattoo. At least she doesn't have to worry about saline ruptures."
The first man nodded at this. "I guess you do have a point, Johnny." He turned his attention to Robin. "I hope you don't regret it, though. We do get some people who were tattooed at a young age and who hate their choice when they get to thirty. Kind of like your, uh, guardian there." Takahashi paused. "At least you're getting a tattoo on your back, so you won't see it too often," he added with a laugh.
"I guess if I change my mind, I can always have it tattooed over like Amon," Robin said with a small, noncommittal shrug. She turned her gaze towards Amon, considering him in silence a moment before speaking again. "What was she like?"
"Who?" Amon asked with a puzzled expression.
"The woman you got the tattoo for."
He stared back at her in surprise, then dropped his head. So she knew from the start. "She was my first love."
Immediately, the ears in the room perked up at this bit of information.
"Oh?" Robin asked, feigning neutrality.
Amon dropped his eyes, smiling slightly at the memory. "Yes. I was eighteen and had been recently put in charge of my first unit. We hit it off immediately and though I wasn't supposed to be involved with a member of my team, I did so anyway."
"You got involved with an older woman, it sounds," Johnny commented.
"Yes, she was three years my senior."
The first tattoo artist whistled. "I dated an older woman once. Boy, let me tell you, the sex was great." Rei cleared his throat loudly and Takahashi quickly apologized to Robin.
"What about you?" Johnny asked, nodding to Robin. "Tell us about your first love."
Robin blushed as Amon's eyes widened slightly in alarm. "I-I don't think that's a good idea. Nothing happened anyway."
"Aww, come on," Johnny insisted, egging her on. "You have nothing better to do while you're here."
"Alright," she said after a moment of hesitation, making Amon's stomach lurched. "Well, he was in seminary training at the corresponding school from where I lived in the convent –"
"You lived in a convent?" Takahashi interrupted.
"Yes, I was orphaned and taken into a convent in Italy when I was an infant." Robin returned to the story. "This man eventually became a priest." She paused, blushing at the thought. "I used to go to him all the time for confession."
"What about when you needed to confess your thoughts about him?" Johnny asked.
Robin blushed more furiously and pushed her chin into the padding of the table. "I went to a different priest for those confessions – and I never mentioned names either."
"Was he tall, dark, mysterious and handsome?" Johnny winked.
"No," Robin ducked her head. "Actually, quite the opposite. I mean, he was handsome," she hurried to explain. "Very handsome – he could have easily been an actor or something -- but he was also very fair and he always made me laugh." Robin smiled, her eyes far away. "I was so in love with him at the time. It seemed so strange that he had joined the priesthood."
"How old were you?" Rei asked interestedly, breaking his silence.
"Fifteen," Robin responded with a nervous laugh. "I guess I was an early bloomer." She sobered. "It wasn't until after I had been in Japan a few months that I discovered that he had run off with a nun from the convent. Francesca." She said the name wistfully. "She was always so beautiful. It was no surprise that he had been in love with her."
"Were you saddened by this news?"
"Sort of, but by that point I had already gotten over him. Shortly before I came to Japan, I started a relationship with another boy my age." Robin frowned. "But I didn't realize what I had at the time…so, it was mostly one-sided." She looked up. "Then I came to Japan a couple of years ago."
"And since you've come to Japan, has there been anyone?"
"There was one person," Robin began slowly and once more Amon tensed, "but it was rather one-sided again. I think he understood, though, that I wasn't interested in him in that way."
Michael, Amon thought. She's talking about Michael.
"You seem to have a lot of love experience for one so young," the first tattoo artist commented.
Robin shrugged. "I guess."
"Does this mean you've already had your first kiss?" Johnny inquired with a raised pierced eyebrow.
"Yes," she replied and buried her head in the table, hiding the furious blush which had covered her face.
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The two crashed through the door to their hotel room, full of euphoria and laughing as they entered. Robin hurried to the bathroom, pulling her shirt over her shoulder and craning her neck to catch a glimpse of her new tattoo in the mirror. She frowned at her bruised skin.
"It looks terrible," she whined.
Amon came up beside her, pulling off his shirt to examine his arm. "Don't worry," he assured, "it will look better in time."
Robin turned to examine his arm. "Yours looks bad, too," she commented as she ran her finger over his upper arm. "Still, it already looks amazing," Robin murmured. Looking up to him, she smiled. "It's hard to believe there was something completely different there this morning."
"You're just happy I went with the one you chose," he retorted as he leaned in the doorway, extending an arm against the doorframe.
"We should celebrate by going to the bar downstairs," Robin suggested hopefully.
"Nice try."
Ducking under him, Robin flashed a smile and exited the bathroom. She flopped on Amon's bed with a giggle. Amon approached her, stopping at the end of the bed and crossing his arms over his chest.
"You're not going to bother asking anymore?" he asked with an amused expression.
Turning coy, Robin shot a glance over her shoulder. "Why bother? You never say no."
Amon smiled and flopped exhausted on the bed beside her. He shifted until he lay on one side facing towards the wall. Robin turned over beside him, snuggling up close to his back. A thought coming to his mind, Amon rolled over in place, propping himself up on one elbow. To his surprise, he found Robin's face much closer than he had anticipated. Unaware of the thoughts in his head, she smiled easily up at him, still happy and content from their evening together.
There's that face again I could wake up to every morning, Amon thought briefly before he leaned forward and kissed her.
His mouth upon hers. She was everything he had imagined and wanted: warm, sweet and soft, her breath floating lightly against his rough face. His hand came up then, sliding under her hair and around her neck, his thumb caressing her cheek as he kissed her. At last, he broke off slowly, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers.
"Shit," he whispered, biting his lip. Pushing away, Amon froze when he caught sight of Robin's face. She stared back in disbelief, incapable of comprehending the implications of their kiss.
"Wh-what was that?" she managed to get out. Amon nearly cringed, Robin looked so betrayed. "I-I thought that there wasn't anything between us…Amon?"
Finally realizing just how serious of mistake he had made with Robin, Amon quickly turned away and hurriedly exited the bed. "It was a mistake," he said quietly, reaching for his shirt. "I overstepped my bounds."
"Amon," she said faintly, lower lip quivering, "does this mean that there…that you…that you have feelings for me?"
His hands paused on the buttons of his shirt and he shot a glance over his shoulder, feeling more guilt at Robin's hurt face. Amon quickly looked away. "Yes."
"But I thought…you weren't…you didn't…" Robin's voice trailed off as her voice broke. "This whole time you let -- wanted me – to believe that you weren't interested."
"I let you sleep in my fucking bed, Robin," he replied lowly. "That should have been a clue as to how much I care for you." Finished with buttoning his shirt, Amon strode to the table, swiping the keycard and heading towards the exit. He stopped just short of the doorway, not turning around. "It's not right…what we have between us."
"Don't go!" Robin pleaded after him in a panicked voice. As he hand lit upon the doorknob, Amon heard her run up behind him, her feet hitting the carpet softly. Her hands grasped his arm, pulling him back.
"I need to leave, Robin," he replied with a shake of his head. "Clear my head, get a drink…"
"Don't leave me, don't go to her," she whispered desperately, burying her face into his shirtsleeve. "Please, Amon."
He stood there, his hand still on the door, weighing his options. Everything he had spent the day trying to repair was now torn asunder, lying in pieces in the rift between them. An image of the woman, Janet, appeared before his eyes, beckoning him with a smile. Amon knew that she would accept him gladly, but the idea of a one-night stand seemed empty and unappetizing.
Eventually, Robin backed away when he made no move to leave, retreating to her bed. She climbed in, still fully clothed, and turned away from Amon. Even so, he could see her shoulders shaking silently beneath the covers. Giving up in defeat, Amon gently returned his keycard to the table and slipped between the sheets of his bed, feeling empty by the lack of another presence beside him.
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Author's Notes:
Wow, a lot happens this time and I didn't need to edit anything out of the chapter. It took me a bit longer to release this chapter than anticipated due to my note fact-checking. Initially, I wrote Robin as crying throughout the microfiche/Nagira confrontation, but at the moment, I'm tired of girls always crying in those sorts of situations. Instead, she gets understandably angry and a little sad. When Amon tells her he cares for her, but can't be with her, then Robin can cry. The girl's had her heart ripped out by the man she loves and deserves the right at that point.
As you can tell, there are many notes for this chapter. I'm not good with subtle symbolism, but some elements need to be discussed more fully. I thought of removing them and placing them in my blog since there is much information presented here, but I really feel that these notes will help the reader better understand the premise and ideas behind the story. I don't really know too much about any particular mythology, just bits of pieces of various cultures. On the other hand, I do know quite a bit of history.
1. The bird and the snake
Of course, the title is a reference to the phoenix and oroborus tattoos the two get later in the chapter. Besides the overt symbolism of these mythological creatures yet to be discussed, the simplified symbols of the bird and snake can also speak of Robin and Amon's tumultuous relationship. Who is really the bird and who is the snake is up to the reader's interpretation.
2. Microfiche
Dang, for something that was so common when I was a young child, I could not find too much information on microfiche – not even on Wikipedia. I remember going to the library and having to sort through the microfiche files to look up books. Yeah, I'm so glad we switched to those nifty little things called jump drives. The idea for the rolled up microfiche comes from the COM type which is narrow and can be rolled, if I understand this correctly, although it actually originates from – this is so bad – the end sequence in the Rock. From what I could tell, that should also be a type of COM microfiche. Of course, Robin's is a bit smaller, but I'm guessing that in the future there are additional types of data storage. Hey, if people can hack into data systems just with their minds in Ghost in the Shell, then developing a new form of compact microfiche should be no sweat. Interestingly, microfiche is very good to use because it is an analog storage device as opposed to today's traditional digital storage and less likely to get corrupted. Since the letters are so small, it's not possible to pick up a piece of microfiche and read it without some sort of viewing device (like one of those high-tech magnifying glass thingamajigs).
3. Akhenaten and Tutankhaten
Few discussions about the Egyptian god Amun can proceed without mentioning the later sun disk, Aten. Amun was initially the god of air, though later he was fused with Ra and Horus to digivolve into Ra-Amun-Horus and was plastered to almost every Pharaoh's name. The Aten/Akhenaten controversy is arguably history's most interesting period. Unfortunately, this controversy hinders discussion because anything different than what is currently accepted by Egyptologists (who incidentally rely primarily on a book written nearly a hundred years ago and seem to ignore basic geological science) is not given any credence and ignored. I have read many books and seen many a documentary, but some of this knowledge is generally missing from what is available on the Internet, so I'm going by what's in my brain. But, my brain is pretty reliable at remembering written material. Misora discussed Atenism a bit in her story The Burning Time, although I believe Akhenaten was actually not the first person to introduce the Aten sun religion as written. I am quite positive that I read that his father, Amenhotep III, (and possibly even Akhenaten's grandfather) encouraged the idea of the monotheistic deity to the Egyptian people. Due to public opinion polls, however, the dude decided to leave the idea of an official new religion on the back burner during the reelection period and earned himself a rare long lifespan. (Note: ancient Egyptians did not hold elections and the author is fairly certain there were no opinion polls. And if there were, they were likely highly unreliable.) Smart thinking as this prevented him from being "erased" from Egyptian history as were his four successors. Akhenaten later forcibly proclaimed the sun disk Aten as Egypt's only god, ignoring his country's established belief system, economic state, international relations and choose instead to bankrupt his prosperous nation by building vast temples, a new capitol city and basically ignoring reality as the country fell around him (hmm, this sounds oddly familiar). Then…he mysteriously died.
Tutankhamun, perhaps today's most famous pharaoh, was initially born Tutankhaten to Akhenaten and his lesser Royal Wife, Kiya. There is a lot of controversy about Tut (unbelievably a lot), but it seems that contrary to what many originally believed, Tutankhamun attempted to undo the damage wrought by his father and was doing a good job helping restore Egypt when he died at age nineteen. He changed his name from Tutankhaten to Tutankhamun as a gesture to restore the confidence in the country's popular polytheistic religions. On an unrelated note, many believe that Tutankhamun's successor, Ay, stole the goods from the tomb of Nefertiti (primary wife of Akhenaten and, interestingly, daughter of Ay). This explains the surprising amount of wealth found in the tomb for a relatively minor, young Pharaoh. Many of the items found were actually created for a woman, including the trademark golden mask and his sarcophagus. The original face of the mask was cut out and the present one was inserted and bolted in the former's place. Nefertiti was beloved by the Egyptian people, despite the damage done by her husband. There is (even more) controversial evidence that suggests Nefertiti was Akhenaten's co-regent and quite possibly his successor as the Pharaoh Smenkhare (this is one of the most heated current subjects in Egyptology). For the longest time, historians didn't know what to think about the homosexual overtones of depictions featuring Akhenaten and the co-regent sitting on his lap until somebody finally read the hieroglyphic symbols and figured out it was Akhenaten's wife and not some other dude (reasons for this mix up: women were not given such official authority at this time, Nefertiti changed her names a few times, the symbols weren't always completed, Egyptologists rely on an outdated book, every official and accepted statement on ancient Egyptian culture is basically made by one Egyptian official, etc.). Whether Great Royal Wife or Pharaoh, taking the goods from her tomb would be the reason behind the vastness of Tutankhamun's tomb versus her very bare one. On an icky note, Tutankhamun married his half-sister, the daughter of Nefertiti, although that's nothing compared to Akhenaten, who took the same daughter as his minor wife and apparently bore a son at age 12. Ew! Akhenaten quite loved Nefertiti to make her his Great Royal Wife despite never giving him a male heir, but he really (really) liked his women. This daughter later married Smenkhare (who was possibly Nefertiti herself) and finally Tutankhamun.
Additionally, I came across some information in Wikipedia describing Amon as the marquis of hell. The article states that Amon "controls forty legions of spirits. He appears as a wolf with a serpent's tail, and breaths fire, or appears as a man with dog's teeth in the head of a raven, or simply as a man with a raven's head. He tells of things past and future, and reconciles feuds and controversies between friends." That's an interesting addition to the Egyptian mythology.
Anyway, in this chapter, Janet makes the reference to Aten as a counter to Amun – a sort of irony, so to speak. The reference to naming a son Tutankhaten is because he was the son of Akhenaten. One probably would not name their son after a rival, usurped god, so the suggestion is instead for the child of said god. The historical period of Akhenaten is incredibly interesting. I truly believe that in the future, Akhenaten will be remembered more prominently than any other Pharaoh of ancient Egypt.
4. Phoenix
Another symbol stemming from Egyptian mythology. The idea behind the firebird should be fairly simple. A (male) bird builds a nest then ignites it, burning up in flames. From the ashes a new phoenix arises. The phoenix can also regenerate from wounds if injured by an enemy. I thought I had read somewhere that the phoenix was female, but that may have been derived from an alternate firebird mythology (probably the Russian version since I'm more familiar with slavic history). Though the phoenix is clearly a sacred symbol originally associated with the sun god Ra, Christians later took the idea and used to symbol to represent Jesus Christ. The phoenix concept has to be the most used symbol throughout history, including Stravinsky's Firebird, which was beautifully captured in the Disney film Fantasia 2000. In addition, Jean Grey from X-Men becomes a phoenix and there is that city in Arizona...
I love using this symbol for Robin, given her craft and what happens to her throughout the latter portion of the series. To me, she has always been the phoenix. Since Robin already knows that the first tattoo of Amon's was inspired by a woman, she chooses a phoenix design as a representation of herself to "mark" him. Even if he does not love her, Robin can still ensure that Amon remembers her by way of the tattoo. Amon, however, actually replaces his old tattoo with the phoenix, which should have been a fairly blatant sign to Robin about his feelings towards her. Of course, she doesn't get it at the time.
5. Oroborus (or ouroborus)
The timeless symbol of a serpent or dragon eating its tail (because, hey, a big rat eating its tail would just be gross and makes a poor circular design). It's a compelling symbol of many meanings, including infinity and immortality, and considered one of the world's oldest mystical symbols. It has also been used to represent a type of Yin Yang, or the nature of duality, another favorite symbolism of mine. Again, the depiction of a serpent eating its tail originates in Egypt, though similar designs utilizing pig dragons have been found earlier in China. (It's good that time went with the serpent over the pig dragons, in my opinion.) The name ouroborus comes from Greek, meaning literally "tail-devourer". Amon partially chooses this design for Robin for the reason that she is an engineered witch and has the ability to restore and continue the lineage of witches as an "Eve". Robin can retain immortality by endlessly passing on her DNA to her offspring.
Referencing Egyptian beliefs again, the people believed the way to attain immortality was to remain in the minds of others over the years. This is the primary reason why the Akhenaten group was "erased" from all records in Egypt and completely omitted later. If people forgot about them, they could not truly attain immortality. This idea is kind of odd considering some of the tombs we have found of the "normal" people who had their portraits painted on slates and placed on their preserved body. By preserving their bodies through mummification and depicting what they looked like, modern people can remember those who lived thousands of years earlier. This Egyptian idea of immortality is surprisingly sound in some ways.
Amon chooses the oroborus symbol for Robin primarily because it is reminiscent of his immortal namesake. Well, that and the fact that it's a kick-ass design. Maybe he also likes the idea of remaining timeless, always a rock to support Robin wherever she goes and never leaving her side. Amon sees himself as her eternal guardian. This idea is tested later in the story. The oroborus can also be seen as a counter to Robin's phoenix, since both are used to represent eternal rebirth.
And that is the most symbolism I have ever put into any of my works – and there wasn't even that much.
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Coming Up in Chapter 3:
A new face…a familiar acquaintance...harsh confrontations and plaintive confessions. Those who appear unexpectedly will have a lasting impact on the future.