Garrus looked out the window.
He wasn't usually one to work on weekends, but he'd been trying to stay ahead of schedule lately, so here he was. Besides, there was something comforting about the laziness of a Sunday morning when there were maybe three other people at the embassy.
Today, it was just him, Shepard, and the salarian attaché, which gave the usually busy embassy an almost peaceful mood. No civilians coming and going, asking for help with one problem or another, no noise, no distractions - just himself, his work, and maybe a cup of coffee.
Time just flowed slower on the weekends.
It was peaceful.
"It's been five months since the end of the First Contact War now," Shepard said casually as she stirred her coffee. She looked at Garrus from across the empty office and smiled. "Which makes it our six-month anniversary."
He returned the smile. He walked up to her and grabbed her free hand. "Six months," he purred. He put his mouth plates to her forehead and gave it a chaste kiss. "Half a year in the making."
"Hm." She smirked. "I made sure to clear this evening, you know."
"Oh?" Garrus absently traced circles with his thumb on the back of her hand. "I'll meet you at the shooting range?"
"Our usual spot, then."
Of all the dates they'd gone on, the ones both of them considered the most fun had been either at the shooting range or the arcade. Maybe not the most traditionally romantic venues, but those were where they both felt most comfortable.
The shooting range had become Shepard's favourite place on the Citadel, actually. Garrus had always been restless when he couldn't do anything physical, but Shepard had taken the breakout from their former military lives even harder than him. Sometimes he couldn't believe how much she liked shooting. It would have almost been concerning if it, unfortunately, hadn't also been very hot. Shepard knew how to make a gun dance in her hands and, even though Garrus would never admit it to her face, she never missed. Between the two of them, he didn't know who the better shot was. His pride wanted to say that it was him, but common sense suggested Shepard was just as good—if not better .
So they visited often. They'd had membership cards made eventually, because at that point it only made sense. Garrus knew that Shepard went to the shooting range much, much more often than him, but he didn't mind. If that was her way of blowing off steam, he wasn't going to interfere. He knew better than anyone that with all the politics they had to deal with at work, sometimes shooting something was the only way to keep oneself from going insane.
Contrary to Shepard's preference of the shooting range, Garrus liked the arcade. The combat simulator, in particular, had become his favourite. It stimulated him in a way simply shooting down targets just couldn't, and was probably the closest thing to real action that he would ever find on the Citadel. He still remembered the day he'd finally beat Shepard in the online rankings. Maybe that was why she preferred the shooting range. Both of them made rather sore losers - a fact they'd only caught on to when challenging each other.
And challenge each other they did.
At first it had been innocent little things like a shooting contest or even a race who'd finish more paperwork in a set time limit. With time, they'd found ways to keep even the most mundane parts of their daily life interesting by challenges and bets. It worked perfectly because, as Garrus was quick to discover, they were both naturally competitive. He liked winning. He didn't hide it. But Shepard liked winning too, and it made for a very particular kind of tension between them sometimes... They'd ended up settling a score by sparring a few times, and more than a few times it had escalated into a different kind of tiebreaker.
Besides, they liked challenging each other. It pushed them to grow, and all things aside, every smallest competition between them was always based on love and good will, and never on spite.
When Shepard was better, Garrus accepted it. Sure, he liked winning, but he liked her even more, and he couldn't deny that he was often impressed by her multitude of skills. Even after months spent working closely together, she sometimes still managed to surprise him.
He absolutely loved that about her. That woman was like life itself - never fully free of surprises.
This day, life had another surprise for him.
Garrus hadn't expected to find any other of his former military comrades making a living on the Citadel now, so bumping into Chellick at the C-Sec Academy while he was getting ready for his date with Shepard was something of a shock.
"I've been working at C-Sec for a few months now," the turian explained bashfully once they'd gotten past the initial surprise and had moved to the water cooler so they could talk in peace.
"Really?" Garrus felt kind of embarrassed. "I had no idea. I actually work..."
"At the embassies, I know." Chellick shook his head. "Of all people, I wouldn't have expected you to go into politics."
"Life's got a funny way of sneaking up on you."
"Sure does... Hey. Is it true what they're saying?"
Garrus didn't even look up. "What are they saying now?" he asked flatly. He wasn't very interested in gossip.
"You know the human ambassador, Shepard? They say she's having an affair with a turian diplomat—romantic stuff. With a turian. I figured, since you work with her, maybe you'd know something."
Garrus almost doubled over. "Who says that?!"
"Just... people."
Garrus clenched his fists. "See?! This is why I hate politics! Everything you do is suddenly public business. No privacy. No—" He winced. Great job, Vakarian. You couldn't be chill about it? What an idiot.
Chellick clicked his mandibles.
"...How long has this been going on?"
Garrus hesitated, on some level kind of ready to deny everything. Eventually he sighed, giving in.
"...Before the war even ended," he said. "I found her half-dead on the battlefield and nursed her back to health. At that point I didn't know she was an important officer in their army. We got to know each other and... Grew fond of each other. It scared me, so I let her go. But then the war ended and... And now I'm a public person, apparently, and people are looking into my love life as a source for water cooler gossip."
"A human..." Chellick nodded his head slowly, thinking. "But you're serious? You're really considering this? Interspecies dating is complicated enough as it is—now throw in a completely new species into the mix. Is it a good idea?"
Garrus shrugged.
"I love her," he said simply.
"Love he— Oh. Spirits, you're serious. I thought you were just fooling around. I had no idea you were in love... Fuck. That's... That's heavy, Garrus, you know?"
"Yeah," Garrus agreed half-heartedly. "Heavy."
A moment of silence, charged with tension as Chellick tried to judge if asking too many questions would make the other turian uncomfortable.
"What is she like?"
"Shepard's... unlike anybody else." Garrus chuckled, massaging the back of his neck nervously. "I don't know where to even begin with her. She's got this aura of complete authority, you know? You walk into a room and you immediately know she's in charge." He flared his mandibles. "It works in the bedroom too, for that matter..." He covered up that last part with a cough. "Um. Anyway. She's just... She's amazing. She's strong, a crazy good shot, intelligent, resilient... Your regular warrior woman."
"And you're into that?"
Garrus blinked. "Well, yeah. It's Shepard."
"But..." He looked around. "Well. You know. She's human."
"It's Shepard," Garrus repeated. Shepard was human. Did Chellick not know that? He didn't know how he could have made himself clearer. "And speaking of... I actually have to get going. I have a date."
"With...?"
"Yes," he responded curtly.
"So two are really serious, then."
"I mean... I guess?" Garrus felt his shoulders tense despite his best efforts to stay relaxed. He didn't really like discussing his dating life with anyone aside from the person he was dating. And even then he found himself awkward and nervous. "We're not officially together just yet. I— I don't think we can be. Even aside from the whole Relay 314 fiasco, it's... complicated." He poured himself a cup of water. "I'm a subordinate. Shepard's my boss... No idea how that works for humans, but you know it's not the best setup."
"Spoke the truth," Chellick nodded along. "Hey. If you ever want to change that dynamic, give me a call. I could get you into C-Sec, probably. Maybe it doesn't pay as well, but it's closer to home than whatever you politics people do behind closed doors. And you wouldn't be working for Shepard anymore."
"Thanks, but, no, thanks," Garrus laughed lightly. "I'm good where I am... I don't think police work is the right fit for me, anyway."
"Suit yourself." The other turian shrugged. "Consider it a standing offer. I owe you for all the times you pulled my ass out of the fire."
Garrus smirked. "I'll keep it in mind." He downed the entire cup of water in one swig. "Thanks."
Garrus nervously adjusted his coat, cursing himself for wanting to dress more formally for tonight. His outfit wasn't uncomfortable, but it was more stiff than what he was used to wearing at work.
He hadn't told Shepard about it, but he'd synced up her vitals with his visor—only as a precaution, not because he was expecting her life to be in danger anytime soon. Nonetheless, he'd grown to find peace in seeing that data in the corner of his vision. Also, it comforted him to see that she was just as nervous as him, if her slightly quickened heartbeat was any indication.
He looked up and there she was, shyly waving at him from across the street. Perfectly on time, according to his omnitool. He silently wondered if she simply had a natural talent for timing or if she'd spent the last few minutes waiting around like he had.
Garrus had to admit this dating thing was still fairly new to him. Even if he and Shepard had been together for a whole half a year now, the number of times they'd gone out on an old-fashioned dinner date could be counted on the fingers of one hand. His hand, not hers. So yeah, he was excited. Nervous, too.
"Hi," Shepard said as she approached him. He'd been waiting by the entrance to the restaurant she'd chosen. Not the shooting range, as they'd initially planned. They'd decided to be classy at least this one night.
"Hi." Garrus absently looked around before kissing her on the cheek - just a faint brush of his plates against her skin, nothing too serious. It still caused several people to look away.
"Oh. What a lovely young couple." The asari doorman smiled at them so warmly that Garrus felt her words were genuine. "Someone will be with you right away."
Garrus glanced at Shepard. She was wearing a lot more face paint than usually, which he'd already noticed was something human women did on important occasions. He didn't really understand why she would go out of her way to do something only someone of her species would appreciate properly when going on a date with him . But then again, he'd buffed his plates specially for this occasion, so maybe he wasn't one to talk.
"Nice outfit," he complimented. Shepard had never worn dresses and skirts, not once since he knew her, so he wasn't sure why he'd even thought she would tonight. Instead of a fancy dress, she was wearing a pair of elegant, black pants and a formal white shirt with fringe on the hem. Easily the fanciest outfit Garrus had seen her in.
"Right back at you." Shepard eyed him up and down, a small smirk dancing around her lips. "Looking good."
Garrus extended an arm like the men in all the old human vids he'd watched.
"I learned from the best," he replied smugly. "Shall we?"
Shepard hooked her arm around his, smirking up at him. Garrus shyly returned that smile while the waiter led them to a free table.
Some scattered laughter could be heard from around the bar.
"What do you think that turian gave her to get her to go out with him?"
A snicker.
"Whatever it was, I bet it was expensive. What a shame. Pretty girl like that..."
Garrus stared at the floor, pretending he didn't hear the passing conversation of the three human men sitting by the bar. It was far from the first time he'd heard some passing remarks like that - it happened nearly every time they went out together in public. Thankfully, most of the time, he got the brunt of it. Shepard's small stature meant people were more likely to see her as a victim. Which wasn't ideal, but at least they weren't focusing on her.
"I could never." This one came from an older turian in a corner. "Disgusting."
Garrus clenched his fists.
"Hey. Did you see that couple?"
"I know. They're really cute! I had no idea humans could be so open-minded."
"They're both quite attractive, too. Good for them!"
Garrus darted his eyes around the room, but he couldn't find the source of that conversation.
"Hey. Are you alright?" Shepard reached over the table and put her hand on his. "You look distracted."
With those external earlobes, humans gave the impression of being more acute listeners, so Garrus often forgot Shepard's sense of hearing was worse than his own. She probably hadn't heard most of what people were saying about them.
"It's fine," he said quickly, actively tuning out everything around them and focused only on the woman sitting before him. He smiled. "I'm fine."
Maybe he shouldn't have gotten so worked up about it... What did it matter what other people thought? He was exactly where he wanted to be.
So." Shepard smiled flirtatiously. "How come have I never seen you wearing this?"
It's stiff. I prefer to wear blue. There was never an occasion. It makes me look too mature. Doesn't go with my visor. Garrus thought of countless possible answers in less than a second.
"I've got to have some secrets," was what he said aloud. He chuckled. "Wouldn't want you to get bored with me too soon."
"I've never been bored with you, Garrus." Shepard quirked an eyebrow. "Not once since I met you." She leaned back in her chair. "So I don't expect that to happen anytime soon."
"Good. Because I don't plan on letting go of you anytime soon." Garrus flared his nostrils, inhaling sharply, when he realized how that had sounded aloud. "Not that I— I mean… That wasn't to mean—"
"It's okay. I… I know what you meant. I feel that way too."
Garrus nearly sighed with relief. With Shepard, it was easy. Even if he got awkward when things turned to the romantic, she still understood his intent. And not for a moment did he doubt that her words were honest.
"Um... Excuse me."
"Can I help you?" Shepard raised an eyebrow at the young human man who'd shyly approached their table and was now staring at her with wonder.
"You're Commander Shepard," he whimpered.
"Oh." Shepard laughed bashfully and Garrus noticed a hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Um, yeah. That's me."
"I was wondering… Could I... get an autograph?"
Shepard bit down on her cheek. She clearly wasn't very comfortable with the situation.
"Sure," she said eventually.
"Wow! I can't believe it!" The boy held the signed piece of paper she'd passed him like it was the greatest treasure in the world. "I have an autograph from the hero of Shanxi! Wow!They say you killed hundreds of turians during that war!"
Now Shepard was obviously uncomfortable, her eyes darting to Garrus every now and then.
"The casualties totalled at barely above seven hundred... I really doubt I personally played a big part in it," she said curtly. "I don't generally take credit for the First Contact War. I was out of commission for most of it."
"You're still a hero! What you did at Houston or when you—"
Shepard held up her hand.
"I'm so sorry, but I'm actually in the middle of something right now..." She pointedly nodded at Garrus, who'd been silently listening to the whole exchange.
The human nodded quickly. "Of course—I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have bothered you! I'm sorry!"
He ran off before Shepard had the chance to respond.
Silence.
Awkward, tense silence.
"So..." Garrus quirked up a brow plate, elongating the word, drawing out the syllable, awaiting her to explain.
Shepard didn't say anything.
"...So you're famous, then."
She looked away. The blush had spread from just her cheeks to cover nearly half of her face.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because... I like you. I didn't want to screw up what we have."
"How would saying that not only are you intelligent, beautiful, funny, strong, and brave, but also famous, screw anything up?"
"I don't want you to look at me like that. Like I'm some sort of hero or celebrity. I didn't want you to think I was "above" you or something stupid like that... Why do you think I've never dated anyone before you? Human men get so weird around me."
Garrus felt a tug in his heart.
"So you lied." She'd said the reason she hadn't settled down with anyone before was a military lifestyle.
"I didn't lie . It's true, you really are the first person I ever felt this close to."
"But only because you never gave anyone else a chance."
Shepard frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Shepard, why are we together? Really . We're amazing together, but we don't make any sense... I just don't understand how you could ever fall in love with... with someone like this." He spread out his arms. "I'm not— You could easily get any human man you wanted, I'm sure they were lining down your door... Why me?"
"I love you."
"I... That's now , but... I don't understand it, Shepard, I never have. Why would you ever go out with me in the first place?"
Shepard smiled at his nervous stance. She put a hand on his cheek.
"Because you were the turian soldier who saved my life. You had no idea who I am. When we met, when we first became friends, on Shanxi... You didn't know who I am and you treated me like an equal and... Damn it, Garrus, that was the first time in years I had an honest conversation with someone. You weren't looking up to me or treating me with this creepy adoration, just... just this honest, human respect." She swallowed. "I'd almost forgotten what that feels like, but you were the first person in a long time who saw me for me. Jane, not Commander Shepard."
Garrus looked down.
"...So that's the only reason we're here?" he asked quietly. "I didn't know you were famous?"
"Well, yeah." She smiled. "What else could it be?"
"I see." He stood up. "Thanks for letting me know that's what this is."
She reached out to him. "Are you okay?"
"I thought we—!" He gritted his teeth. "I thought you liked me for me . Turns out you only wanted someone who didn't know you."
"No, I..."
"Save it, Shepard. I... I just really don't want to do this right now."
He left the restaurant without caring about all the people looking at him. Hell, they'd been staring from the beginning. Why shouldn't they? What a freak show he was. A turian, so desperately in love with a human who only ever saw him for what race he was.
She'd said it herself, she didn't want to go out with human men. He should have known that's why she was with him.
"Garrus!"
Shepard had run outside after him. Which he probably should have expected, all things considered. No matter how their relationship had started, there was no denying the love they had for each other now. Garrus knew she cared. It was part of why it hurt so much.
"Garrus. Talk to me." She grabbed his forearm and spun him around. He'd forgotten how strong she was despite her small stature. "What's the problem here? So what if I never told you?"
"So what? So our entire relationship is based only on this thin little coincidence that I didn't know you're famous! Because if I'd known, you never would have considered going out with me, apparently!"
"But you couldn't have known! You're not—"
"Human?"
Shepard didn't respond; she only looked down.
"...Of course." Garrus clenched his mandibles. Even if he'd been expecting to hear this, he hadn't been prepared it would hurt so much. "I love you, Shepard. Not because you're human. But thanks. You know. For letting me know what's my defining characteristic in your eyes."
"Garrus..."
"Tell me that you aren't dating me only because I'm a turian," he blurted out. "That should be a simple thing to say."
She opened her mouth, but no words came out.
"You can't say that?"
Shepard looked at him with shining eyes. "Does it really matter to you so much?" She whispered.
"How could it not matter?"
"Because... It's just a part of who you are."
"Is it? If I were human, would it—" He gritted his teeth. "Damn it, would you have even looked at me if I were human?"
"But you're not human."
"Maybe that's the problem." Garrus shut his eyes. "You know, everyone tells me we're crazy for doing the interspecies thing! And I always say that no, that it's fine and that we're making it work, but..." He paused, hating every part of this conversation. "...I don't think this is working, Shepard."
She looked at him, her eyes shining and her lips trembling as she shook her head ever so slightly.
"...What are you saying?" she whispered.
He held up his hand.
"I need... I need some space right now. Please don't follow me."
He walked away quickly, hoping she wouldn't go after him. I really need to be away from you right now. For the first time in his life, he was angry at Shepard. He didn't want to stay around long enough to do something he'd regret.