To: The Federal Bureau of Investigation
From: Office of Naval Intelligence
Re: Yuugi Mutou Interviews Enclosed

Not all of the children were quite willing to answer the questions presented to them. But after careful consideration, we decided it did not deter our investigation.

Attachment: Transcript

0500 Hours, August 11, 1998
USS Autumn, Office of Naval Intelligence
Atlantic Ocean off the coast of New York
Re: Hiroto Honda, Age 17

Q. You've known Yuugi Mutou for six years, correct?

Does it matter?

Q. For the purpose of our investigation, yes. Please answer the question.

Your 'investigation'? So this is why my friends and I are still here, huh? Why? Do we pose a threat to national security?

Q. That information is classified.

Go figure.

Q. We are conducting interviews to determine your – and your friends – involvement in the recent events.

'Our involvement'? Huh. So why didn't you ask me about Jounouchi? Or Anzu? Hell, even Kaiba? Why did you only ask me about Yuugi?

Q. That isn't relevant.

…It must be, otherwise you wouldn't have asked. But, seriously, I think you should stop with all of these interviews. I'll tell you right now what they're going to do for your investigation.

Q. What?

Absolutely nothing. By the way, how much is this costing you? This interview here?

Q. Why does it matter?

I just want to know how much my time is worth. Somethin' to tell the folks when I get back home. I think a million in American currency. That sound alright?

Q. Do we have a problem here?

At a million dollars an interview, I think the answer you want is 'yes'. Hey, you the guy who's typing all this, add this to your list of questions. 'What could have that million dollars been spent on instead of this'? Now, now, type my answer –

Q. Stop this immediately.

First of all, your schools. I don't know what you've been teaching the current generation, but every American I've met is rude, doesn't know anything about any culture but their own, and makes no effort to learn about the different culture they're in! They barge right into another country, making demands, calling people by their first names – it's rude! Us Japanese make all the effort in the world to be polite to foreigners—

Q. Please desist.

Next, your law enforcement. I went to San Francisco, and do you know how many police officers I found. One. And the guy was on a horse. In the age of really fast cars – which by the way, all your cars are crap – do you really think an officer is going to stop someone on a horse? Yeah, yeah, I know San Francisco is pretty crowded all the time, so you can't use your fast cars all too much. But when the streets are filled with people, it's going to be hard to catch someone on the horse without trampling innocent pedestrians!

Q. Mr. Honda.

And the one time my friends and I needed police assistant, the nearest officer we found was ten blocks from the scene of the incident. Ten blocks! By the time we got back, we were lucky no one was dead! It was pathetic! I mean, come on, what if it really was serious, something that concerned America's national security! And the only officer was ten blocks away and -- /Unable to translate/

Q. Mr. Honda, cease this at once.

And you're so rude! Whatever happened to 'please'? Look, man, I'll tell you this much. My friends and I came here under the invitation of Pegasus J. Crawford, owner of Industrial Illusions. Kaiba helped bring popularity to his game because of his holographic technology, and Yuugi was the one Crawford declared the 'King of Games'. We came here on business, and now that business is taken care of, we're going to some fun stuff. Not everyday some Japanese kids come to the great United States of America, y'know?

We'll do a little sightseeing. Eat some expensive food. Jounouchi can't wait to get some steak and lobster, and Yuugi is looking forward to gorging on hamburgers. Then, we'll go back home, go back to school, and be polite and tolerant of all Americans who come to sight see.

Q. Are you finished?

I'm worth a million dollars of your time, sir! That's up to you, isn't it?

Q. It is. And, I only have one question for you. Tell us about Duel Monsters. What is it?

Please do not tell me you spent a million dollars to ask me that.

/END TRANSCRIPT/