I own nothing but my OC.

Chapter 46: Little Talks

A couple of weeks later…

To Sumiko's surprise and relief, Kazama had been doing a rather good job of behaving and keeping his hands to himself, though he would occasionally do something to tease her, as if he found her reactions amusing. He had also gotten in the habit of bringing the cat with him once he realized she talked more with it around to distract her.

"It still feels kind of surreal to be sitting here with you like this so peacefully." She commented as they sat out on the porch outside her room together. She was well enough to get up and walk a little on her own now, and if she had to keep staring at the ceiling much longer, she was going to start ripping the threads out of the tatami mats. "You haven't been acting like your usual self."

"Then, how should I behave? Do you want me to attack you?" Kazama asked, leaning in close.

"Um, no. That's okay… I actually really appreciate you acting like a gentleman." She said as she leaned back, sweat-dropping.

"I'm surprised you haven't tried to escape." He commented as he took the hint and backed off, looking slightly disappointed that she hadn't given him the green light to pounce.

"Well, you gave me a really ominous warning not to, remember?" She replied, feeling a little chagrined that he seemed to think it was sign she was getting attached to him. Well, maybe she was… sort of… in a Stockholm syndrome kind of way…

"I'm still waiting to hear your answer."

"And I'm still thinking about it."

"Why are you so against me?" Kazama asked, frowning. She would allow herself to be shot and stabbed in order to protect her friend, yet she wouldn't agree to marry him?

"Osen-chan's right. You really don't know anything about women, do you?" Sumiko asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "When some random guys show up in the middle of the night saying they're there to take you away, whether you like it or not, the first thought to flash through any normal girl's mind isn't: 'Oh, how romantic!' It's: 'Rape!'. Your presentation left a lot to be desired. No matter how good your intentions, there's no way we'd trust you after that. How do I know you won't go back on your promise to leave Chizuru alone after I give in to your demands?"

"Because Oni always keep their word." He answered seriously, frowning slightly as he realized just how terrible their first impression of him had been. "Maybe you think that I'm an animal or a beast. But Oni do value manners and old tradition. If I am to make you mine, it won't be at just any time or place, so don't worry about it. I'll keep my word." He said resolutely, staring out into the courtyard. Sumiko watched him for a moment in silence before replying.

"Okay." She said with a small smile. She could see that he was seriously trying, even if his methods were a little out of whack… but she was starting to suspect most of his perceived callousness was due more to a lack of common sense than malice. He had probably grown up a well educated but sheltered young master, which left him a bit socially inept now that he was an adult…

"You should be careful when you smile like that." Kazama warned her with a frank tone. "It makes people want to push you down."

"Eh?" Sumiko said, blinking, as her smile fell. 'Does that mean he's thinking about pushing me down right now…? Uwah! This guy really is dangerous…!' "Ah, um… can I ask you a personal question?" She asked, clearing her throat nervously as she tried to think of a way to shift the subject to something less dangerous for her. "Why are you so against us being with the Shinsengumi? Why do you have such a problem with the idea of us getting along with humans?"

"Don't you have any self-awareness as an oni?" He asked, furrowing his brow as he glanced at her. "Oni may appear to be the same as humans, but our wounds heal in seconds, and we can break out unexpected power if we let our rage out. So humans will treat us like monsters and use us."

"They would never do that." Sumiko stated calmly with an unnerving certainty. "Hijikata-san and the others are not those kind of people."

"For humans, oni will always be oni. Those Bakufu dogs will do the same thing sooner or later. No matter what they say or do now, they'll eventually reveal themselves. Those crude intentions are always hidden in the painful essence of humans."

"Hmph. You think I don't know that?" Sumiko asked calmly, surprising him, as she looked up with a rueful expression on her face. "I've been living with humans this whole time. Did you really think I survived this long by being naïve? Of course there will be people who want to use you and hurt you. That's the way of the world. Being shunned or bullied just because I'm different is something I've had to deal with since day one. I've always known I was a freak. Nothing's changed. The only difference between now and then is that now I know why. The way the world works, they way people are, and how I fit into that bigger picture… none of that's really changed." She smiled slightly. "But it's because of everything I've been through, that I can tell the people I can trust apart from the people I can't, and I can say with certainty that the men of the Shinsengumi are honorable and trustworthy. I can sit here with you right now without having to constantly worry about Chizuru because I know she's with them."

"Even if they're on the losing side?" Kazama asked. "You said the Bakufu will fall."

"The Bakufu will fall, but until then, they'll continue to fight, and they'll protect Chizuru with their lives. That's the kind of men they are." Sumiko said with a sad smile. "They're my friends, and I want to save them, but… I'm starting to get the feeling that whatever I'm going to do has already been done, since I know how this ends… but that doesn't mean I can let my guard down just yet. Right now, at this moment, time is still in flux. Whatever's going to happen hasn't happened yet, so I still have to be careful not to screw everything up… The outcome of this war is important to the future of the whole country. I guess it's sort of like that feeling you sometimes get when reading a book. If you skip ahead, you'll know the ending, but even so, if you're in the middle and something bad is about to happen, you can't help but think 'No, this isn't over yet! It can't end this way!' or 'Things are going well. I can't see why the ending has to be so sad.' Even though you know what's coming, while you're experiencing the story through the characters' eyes, you can't help but feel like there's more to the story than what's been written as their predestined path. There has to be some way of escaping it. Until you turn the next page and see what's written there, anything is possible because time is still in flux for those characters. You don't know what else is written yet. It's kind of like that, if that makes any sense…"

"It does, a little… but mostly it doesn't." Kazama replied, frowning slightly in confusion.

"Well, I guess what it really boils down to is, I don't think I can change the future, and I don't think I should. While I was still with them, I was determined to see it through and accompany them to the end, but now that I've been away… I think I might be a little scared to go back. I'm so tired of watching the people I care about die." Sumiko said with a heavy sigh, cradling her face in her hands. "It feels like everyone I care about ends up leaving me too soon…"

"… Who have you lost?" Kazama asked quietly.

"I lost my parents the day I was born… Then I lost Annie when I was eight. She eventually had to quit and leave after being diagnosed with MD, a type of inherited disease that causes muscle weakness and muscle loss. Some forms of MD appear in infancy or childhood. Others may not appear until middle age or later. The different types can vary in whom they affect, which muscles they affect, and what the symptoms are. All forms of MD grow worse as the person's muscles get weaker. Most people with MD eventually lose the ability to walk. There's no cure. She left so I wouldn't have to watch it happen." She said, bowing her head sadly. "The Miyagawas died a few months before I came here in a traffic accident. They were hit by a drunk driver, but at least it had been quick, not drawn out like Annie… You keep calling me a komainu, but I'm not that great. The truth is, I'm actually really selfish. I'd rather die protecting someone I care about than have to be the one that survives and gets left behind again. I've had enough of that." Kazama stared at her for a moment in silence.

"I won't leave you behind." He said solemnly, causing her to glance up at him. "I won't die before you, either."

"… Promise?"

"I promise." Kazama vowed gravely as he stared into her deep, dark eyes. Sumiko smiled wanly. Normally that would be that last thing you'd want to hear from a kidnapper, but for some reason, it felt reassuring coming from him.

"I've heard similar promises before… But when you say it, I feel like I can believe it."

Kazama smiled slightly.

"That's because you can." He said loftily.

"Because an oni always keeps his word?" She asked wryly.

"Now you're catching on." He said with a smirk.