Chapter two: Explosions

Akikami:I noticed the seriously huge time jump I created during the beginning and end of chapter one. 7.35 to 10.00 for homeroom? Oops. 9.35 I meant. I hope I didn't completely screw up flag football in the little part it has. I've really never cared enough to learn the rules completely. And thank you to the five people who reviewed me. I hope the badly created title didn't throw you off.

- - -

3-30-06

10.00

YUFFIE'S INNER DIARY-THING

ENTRY THREE

It's a good thing Sora's in almost all my classes. He still hasn't admitted to his gayness!

He can not deny it for long! His resolve is weakening, I can feel it!

…ahem. Anyway, even better: Riku is in my class too.

They will not be able to resist my all powerful ninja powerful…ness.

…Too bad it's gym class.

END YUFFIE'S INNER DIARY-THING

"Today we're playing flag football!"

Yuffie ignored the pained groans from the insignificant weaklings around her. Instead, she focused on Riku, who was surrounded by girls and looking positively ecstatic and grinning in a very…for lack of better word perverted way.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind a nearby girl squeeled something about his smile being 'so-O sexy!'

Disgusting.

"Okay," the extremely overweight gym teacher, Mr. Phil, continued, either not noticing or not caring of all the swooning girls that made up about half of his class, "I know that most of you ALWAYS get mad because I don't let you pick your own teams. So, I reconsidered…"

Everybody cheered.

"But, then I decided I really didn't care what a bunch of whiny brats thought. Right half of the gym team 1, left half team 2. Get outside. NOW!"

Everyone groaned again and began to drag themselves out into the searing summer heat.

Well, everyone except for Riku.

He was still just sitting in the same exact spot, a daydreaming grin plastered on his face.

"Riku…"

Nothing.

"…Riiiiiikuuuuuu…"

Still nothing.

Hmmm…

'Now what to say to bring him out of whatever freakish daydream he's in?'

"Uhhh…Oh my god all the guys have somehow lost their shirts in a bizarre heat laser and are now running around…uh…shirtless!"

Riku blinked, a strange and confused look on his face. "What?"

"Hah hah! I KNEW it! You're gay aren't you?"

"WHAT?"

"Ahhahahahahahaha! You will never deny it!" Yuffie screamed and then proceeded to run out of the gym, leaving a very VERY confused Riku behind.

Vaguely in the back of Yuffie's mind she wondered, 'I wonder how Kairi's doing.'

- - -

"BURN! BURN I TELL YOU! BUUUUUUURN!"

Kairi flinched as a gob of neon green muck splashed across her protective goggles. Her lab partner, Axel, continued to laugh maniacally and up the intensity of the Bunsen burner, looking positively evil as he did so.

Yes, Axel was Kairi's lab partner.

No wonder she had a D in this class.

"Axel, if you make it any hotter it might-"

BOOM!

Everyone within ten feet of them was coated in burning green sludge, screaming their heads off and running to the bathrooms.

"Ahhh! My eyes!" Ariel, the resident cheerleader who had 'forgotten' to put her goggles on.

"Heh heh…I TOLD you to put those goggles on!" Mrs.Maleficent snickered from behind her desk. She made no move to help with the pandemonium that had been created.

"Ack! My hair!" Kairi's long, beautiful, tresses were practically seared off to the shoulders, the ends charred and burned (1). For a moment she just sat at her desk in shock, staring at the charred and smoky smelling ends of her once long hair.

"Oops…uh…sorry, Kai…I-"

"MY HAIR!" Suddenly murderous, she lunged across the desk to grab a fistful of Axel's red hair and yank it mercilessly, screeching like a banshee. "You pyromaniac butt! YOU RUINED MY HAIIIIIR!"

"AHHHHHHH!I'M SOOORRRRRRYYYY!"

As all this went on, Roxas watched (at a safe, twenty foot distance) as his lab partner, Demyx, taped the attempted murder with a snicker. "Demyx, what are you doing?"

"I'm getting footage for my myspace of course (2)."

"Oh…Why do you have a camera in your backpack then?"

"So, I would be able to savor moments like these for allllll eternity…hehehehehe…"

"Demyx…you're starting to scare me…"

---

Meanwhile, Yuffie's team was getting pummeled.

Not that it was their fault or anything.

I mean, COME ON, Selphie was on the other team! Nobody could win against that inhuman bundle of hyperactive sugar-induced madness! Nobody I tell you, NOBODY!

Selphie whizzed past Yuffie to tackle the poor boythat was currently in position of the ball.

"Ahhhh! My spleen!" the young black-haired boy wailed, fliling helplessly as Selphie giggled and pulled off his yellow flagged belt.

"Selphie, get off of Eric (3)! You know he has a rare spleen disease!" Mr. Phil yelled from the sidelines. "And, this is FLAG football! No tackling! Selphie, are you listening to me? Seeeelphieee!"

Needless to say, Mr. Phil's cries were ignored. Everyone was still a bit bitter at not being able to pick teams.

And, watching Selphie tackle random people with rare (INSERT VITAL ORGAN) disorders was fun in Yuffie's opinion….as long as it wasn't her.

"We're doomed! Dooooooomed!" Pence, the 6th grader from that morning wailed, falling to his knees.

"You stupid 6th grader! We are NOT doomed!" Yuffie yelled in irritation. Why oh why was she cursed with a class made up of all four grades?

"Pull yourself together man!" Hayner, another 6th grade, exclaimed, roughly shaking the obese boy by the shoulders. Once releasing him, Pence groaned something about being dizzy and fell over.

"Poison the water!" another nameless boy screeched and promptly ran away (4).

"I am surrounded by insanity," Sora sighed.

Yes, Sora was also on Yuffie's team.

Did I forget to mention that?

"Whatever, they're kicking off…"

And indeed they were. Well, Riku was if you want to be exact.

The ball sailed through the air like a bird about to crap all over your face, sending all of the Yuffie's yellow-flagged team running in an attempt to catch it.

"Yay! I caught it!" Yuffie heard Sora exclaim.

Just as she turned around about four bodies slammed into the brunetteand they all fell over in a tangle of limbs and yellow and red flagged belts.

"Owww…"

"I TOLD YOU KNOW TACKLING!"

Now in a pile was from top to bottom: Selphie (holding all their belts, including her own team's), Pence (wailing like the little girl he was), Olette (a 7th grader, screeching about a broken nail and gushing blood from her finger), Riku (with a football jammed in his gut), and lastly Sora, looking blue in the face and about to pass out.

Nobody said anything.

The only sound that could be heard was Selphie's insane giggles as she hopped off the pile and ran around waving about the belts.

Oh wait, she seemed to have something else…

Yuffie gagged, her jaw dropping.

Selphie also held a very large pair of gym shorts.

"My paaaants!" Pence wailed.

"AHHHHHHHH! GET HIM OFF OF MEEEEEEEE!" Olette (poor poor Olette) screamed.

"Victory shall be miiine!" Selphie laughed.

Yuffie shook her head.

Uncovering Riku and Sora's 'secret relationship' would have wait.

She needed to get Pence's pants and what remained of his dignity back.

---

"Hey Kai-what happened to you?"

Yuffie gawked at Kairi across the cafeterie table.

She was sure Kairi's hair was at least waist length during homeroom. But now it was cut to the shoulders, looking ragged and unkempt, very unlike the conditioned sheen it usually held.

Kairi's left eye twitched.

"Axel, the pyro lab partner happened. I skipped the last two periods getting my hair cut in the clinic."

"Oh..are you-"

"No. I'm not."

Yuffie meeped. "Uh..okay. Sorry I asked!"

"…Whatever."

---

3-30-06

12.07 PM

YUFFIE'S INNER DIARY-THING

ENTRY FOUR

Kairi's very scary when it comes to her hair.

I wonder what happened….

I better ask Demyx, he's in that class and keeps that kind of stuff on video usually.

I don't think I'll be able to prove everyone's gayness today, but by….the end of this week I WILL PROVE IT!

Hey, DEMYX!

END YUFFIE'S INNER DIARY-THING

"Demyx you weirdo! Come back here and let me see that video camera! I must know what happened to cause the demise of Kairi's hair!

"Demyx, are you listening to me….

"Don't laugh and pretend I'm not talking to you! Get your scrawiny butt over here! DEMYYYYYXXXXXX!"

TBC

Akikami: Yay, another chapter finished. And it only took around a week to do! Yay! I actually have reviews! It makes me feel very special!

(1)- Kairi's hair was the same length as in KH2 but now it's around the length of KH1.

(2)-Everybody at my school is obsessed with myspace. At my church I am one of TWO people who don't have. (sniffle) I feel so alone.

(3)-Eric from The Little Mermaid. I just couldn't help but put him in. He's so stupid and oblivious in KH2 and he just popped into my head when I was thinking of who Selphie should tackle.

(4)-that is the brief cameo Neb gets (if you've ever read any of Mistress Zelda's fics like Sugar and Steel Don't Mix you'll see him there too). He's my friend with an account on that tells my other friend MZ that sos and so should poison the water whenever she asks what should happen in a story. She never does it though.