The Second Horse
"Don't you ever forget that! You are not needed."
(Akito to Rin, Vol. 14)
"Mother, why can't I hug Kokomi?" A five year old Akki asks her mother, bright crimson eyes gazing up at the woman questioningly. For a moment she thinks she sees anger flash through her mothers face but it was only a flash and the woman smiles kneeling and embracing her daughter tightly
"Why because I only ever what you to hug me sweet little Akki. I'm the only one who loves you so you should only ever be hugged by me." She says
"Mother, does that mean Kokomi doesn't love me?" she asks as her mother pulls away, the woman nods
"Your brother hates you, but that's ok because you're my pretty little girl." The woman says smiling.
She is 15...
Standing before her mother desk, it is winter holidays, a week home from boarding school to celebrate Christmas. The woman looks up setting down a letter, piles of papers and a letter opener are on her desk as well as a picture of her elder brother Kokomi, Akki's picture is not there.
"Mother, why is my name demon? With our last name I am called demon child... why is that?" she asks, her long dark hair is loose, her likes how the waves blow in the wind, her mother looks at her in disgust it has been years since they last hugged. The woman face now has age lines, and her beautiful black hair has classy streaks of grey.
"Because that's what you are Akki, a worthless demon child." The woman says coldly, Akki needs to hear that, for years she has suspected that her mother never loved her, why else would she be sent away, Akki's nods
"Why am I worthless to you?" she asks, her mothers movement is quick, the woman stand and she feels the aged hand slap mercilessly across her face, Akki's head snaps to the side with the force of the blow but she does not stumble or cry
"Because of you, I had to leave your father! You are a worthless child! I hate you! I wish to damn you to hell but that is not my place, you will never be allowed to join god in heaven! Demons are not welcome in the holy land!" she yelled Akki listens to her mothers cries her face emotionless, inside she feels everything break, her mind is in turmoil, she wishes she could make her mother happy
"Do you want me to die mother?" she asks the woman simply, a pause, the woman who had buried her face in her hands looks up at Akki. The young girls face, so like her fathers, was series, the older woman nods
"Yes, I want you to die, I wish you never existed." She said simply
"Will it make you happy?" Akki asks, the woman nods, it is the truth. Akki can see it in the woman's eyes, nothing would make her happier then to see Akki lifeless, on the floor gone from her life for eternity.
"Then kill me." Akki says turning her back to her mother. The woman stars at the girls unmoving back her finger grabbing the letter opener
"Your fault..." she muttered "It's all your fault he was locked away, you are not my child." She says firmly raising the letter opener Akki watches her reflection in the glass of a framed poster for one of her brothers acting jobs. Pain fills her back as she feels the sharp blade tear past her skin. She is on the floor, she does not remember falling.
"I'm sorry mother, Please be happy... all I want, is for you to be happy." Akki says what she want's so say, she vaguely hears the letter opener hit the ground, the door opens and she can hear a maid shouting, then everything is black.
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Akki sat up quickly her breath coming in panting gasps, her back throbbed with the memory of her wound, the scar was still there. Glancing around she frowned slightly, where was she? She remembered being in Shigure Sohma's house and eating cakes with him and his family, then she remembered them sitting and talking.
"Oh Kodomo-san your awake." She looked over Tohru was holding a tray with soup and bread
"Shigure said he found you sleeping in the living room." She said Akki nodded assuming he was the one who placed her in the room
"Where am I?" she asked Tohru smiled
"This is my room, Shigure-san was wounding, if you rested at all after landing, if not he says you're probably suffering from jet lag." Akki nodded
"Yes, that makes sense, no I didn't rest, I didn't think I needed it... guess I was wrong huh?" she said a slight chuckled escaping her Tohru smiled
"I'm glad you're ok, when I came to check on you earlier it looked like you were having a bad dream." Akki shook her head
"Oh no, just a memory of old times, no need to worry Honda-chan." She said evenly and smiled pushing her self up
"I'm sorry I caused you such problems." She said
"Don't worry about that Kodomo-san I-" Akki put up a hand
"Please My name is Akki." She said Tohru nodded
"Akki-san, I was saying, that it is very late, so Shigure has offered to let you spend the nigh if you had no where to stay for now." Akki blinked
"How did he know I didn't have a place to stay?" she asked Tohru smiled knowingly
"Shigure-san knows lots of things; he has ways of figuring things out." She said Akki frowned a little but nodded
"I'm not sure I fully understand that but, ok then." She said shrugging and sitting up Tohru stepped forward
"Are you sure you should be getting up?" she asked quickly, Akki raised an eye brow
"Actually I was just sitting up so I didn't make a mess with the soup, unless that's for someone else." She said Tohru blushed
"Oh no this is for you... I forgot, please, forgive me, she said suddenly frantic, Akki watched her for a moment then laughed
"Your absolutely adorable Honda-chan, its fine, and I'm sure if you made it, it will be as good as those cakes." She said smiling Tohru se the tray on the bed and left Akki to eat her meal in relative silence, she could here the T.V. on down stairs.
"I can't believe I'm actually here in Shigure Sohma's house, and Invited to stay... this is... like a dream come true for me..." she said between spoonfuls of soup. She paused her back was still throbbing reaching back, she touched the scar through her shirt, memories flooding her mind, she gazed unseeing at the tray. She sat like this for sometime, during that time, Shigure had silently entered the room and was standing by the door watching her with interest
"If you're trying to bend the spoon, it's better to use your hands." He said after a moment. Akki jumped violently and looked over at him
"I-I'm sorry I didn't know you were there." She said looking down a light blush on her face he chuckled lightly
"Obviously, but if you weren't trying to bend to spoon with your mind, what were you doing?' he asked taking a step forward and examining what he could of her face. The crimson color of her eyes reminded him of someone, but try as he might to remember who, his mind drew a blank.
"Shigure..." her soft word brought him from his thoughts and she looked up at him
"Did you mean it... could I...? I mean... May I stay here? It'll only be till I find a place of my own... but, please?" she asked he smiled and nodded
"Of course." He said lightly she smiled pushing the tray away and pushed away the covers and stood, for a fleeting moment he thought she was going to hug him and he took a step back, instead she bowed
"Thank you very much Shigure Sohma-sensei." She said evenly.