To: Bela Kiwiiks
From: Kira Carsen
Re: Surprise! I'm not dead

Master,

Yeah, so – I'm alive.

(Okay, that's kind of an understatement. Let me try again.)

I'm sorry I was out of touch for so long. I had to keep a low profile back when I was with the resistance, and afterwards… well, let's just say I bit off more than I could chew, and got myself into trouble. (Really surprising, huh?) Spent three years in carbonite. I'll tell you about it sometime.

Corellan and his Alliance found me. No surprise, right? I'm… 'reacclimating' I guess here on Odessen. He's been amazingly supportive, but then he's always been like that. I know he doesn't call himself a Jedi anymore, but he's always been that guy.

The people here are nice. I've even made friends with this girl named Vette. She's been great, showing me around, introducing me to people and everything. We have a lot in common. Both of us kind of grew up on Nar Shaddaa around the same time and I we both seem to laugh about the same things. (Hope the thought of that doesn't scare you.)

So it's been… good. It hasn't been easy, returning to the world of the living, but it's good.

I need to tell you two things, neither of which are going to be easy for me to say, and maybe not easy for you to hear.

First – I'm with Corellan.

I mean… with him, with him.

It's nothing sudden, either. We've been together for years, since just after I was knighted.

I know you're probably disappointed. Maybe you're even upset. I just wanted you to know that it wasn't idle passions or a fling or anything else. Most important, I wanted you to hear it from me and not someone else.

We're living together openly on Odessen, which has led to a couple of awkward moments, but I feel good about it. Honestly, even with everything that's happened to me, everything I missed, I'm happier than I've ever been.

I'm happy.

I remember when you first took me in as a Padawan, wanting to become a Jedi more than anything else in the galaxy. Oh, I've always had doubts. About myself, the order, and even my place within the galaxy. But I wanted it. I always wanted the Jedi to be my home.

Now… well, I just know I want to be with Corellan. And he wants the same. I don't know if that means I'm not a Jedi anymore, or not. I know there's no council anymore, and Master Ranos and the other Jedi here on Odessen say it's not their place to judge me. The Alliance doesn't quite feel like home yet, but it seems like the kind of place that could become home.

I know that might be hard for you to hear all of this. Maybe you'll think I've failed.

Maybe you'll even think that you've failed as a Master and a mentor. Please don't think that.

That brings me to the second thing I needed to tell you.

I know I've thanked you before for getting me off Nar Shaddaa. For giving me a home. For showing me that the galaxy is a place worth fighting for. For all of that. But I don't think I really told you what it meant to me. I never knew my parents. Between growing up on Korriban and then Nar Shaddaa, I never met anyone who I'd ever begin to look at as a parent. That all changed when I met you, because you were more than a Master to me.

You were the closest thing to a mother I've ever had.

I know that's another great whopping attachment to deal with, but I had to tell you that. And that even you're upset and decide to cut ties to me, to tell you that you never did anything wrong by me.

I just needed you to know.

- K

Author's Notes: My original plan with this series was to write it in chronological order. Since I got stuck on the next chapter I wanted to write, that hampered my progress, so I've skipped several planned chapters ahead. Don't worry – I haven't abandoned this.