Part 2

It was 1pm. Surgery was finished for the day. Normally, they'd all head over to the Officer's Club to drown their sorrows in alcohol. I rarely joined them, since I never could stand being in the company of drunkards, especially Pierce and McIntyre. As usual, I headed to my tent, planning to stop by at Margaret's later on. As I opened the door, I received quite a shock to find Pierce sitting on his cot, holding a ubiquitous martini in his hand, looking at me strangely.

"Pierce! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the Officer's Club?" It was rare for Pierce to return to the Swamp after so short an O.R. session.

"Who says I should be anywhere?" Pierce took a sip of his martini.

"Pierce, I have a, er, question for you." Feeling ridiculous at the thought of asking Pierce anything, I made my way over to my cot and sat down.

"Oh, whoopee, look at that, Frank has a question, isn't that fabulous?" He seemed, if anything, slightly irritated, and took another sip of martini.

I didn't appreciate his remarks, and told him so. "I need to ask you something."

"Ask me something? Frank, you're getting too civil and friendly in your old age."

I decided to let it go. He paused, noticing I was serious. "All right, what is it?"

"Pierce, why did you stick up for me in the O.R.? We can't stand each other, we barely say a good word in each other's direction and now you're sticking up for me? If anything, you're getting too civil and friendly."

Pierce was evidently thinking hard about my question, for he had set down his martini next to his cot.

"You're right. Normally, Frank, if you had asked this question I would say I had mistaken you for someone else and I was defending the wrong person," began Pierce. "And normally that would be the case. But this time, I don't think I mistook you for someone else at all. Maybe the war's getting to me, or Trapper's put something in the Still – both of those I highly doubt – but I honestly believed that Trapper was being a pain in the neck, and I needed to tell him so."

I couldn't believe my ears. "Well, er, thankyou Pierce, but…"

"But what, Frank?"

"I, er… have you lost your mind? You hate me!"

"That I do, but as I pointed out to Trapper, we need to be able to get on in the O.R."

"But McIntyre's your best friend!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Pierce, annoying as he is, is a) being civil and b) sticking up for me!

"True, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need a kick in the tush every now and then."

He picked up his martini, but slammed it down before taking another sip.

"Geez, I can't believe we're talking like this… you should have yelled at me by now. Where's Frank Burns gone? Instead we've got a calm-tempered, civil Major sharing this tent!" Pierce threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

I wasn't in the mood to be lecturing, as I usually did. Besides, I was so taken aback at Pierce's niceness, I instinctively didn't yell at him, in the hope of making it last. Stupid, I know, but…

"What's gotten into you, Frank?"

"What's gotten into you, Pierce? You're the one being nice. You're the once defending me against your friend's teasing and taunting. You're the one being civil!" I almost yelled at him, something I didn't want to do.

"Oh, so it's a bad thing, now? I make an effort to be pleasant to you and this is what I get for it!"

I nearly regretted shouting at Pierce, but I managed to pull myself together. This is Pierce we're talking with. Any effort to take him down a peg or two should be applauded, not regretted! I began to wonder… what was getting into me?

"You know what, Frank? Since we're all behaving so strangely, I think a drink's in order."

I was honestly tempted to say no, in the usual fashion ("That stuff's disgusting, I'm not touching it") and almost did…

"All right then."

What the hell did I say that for?

Pierce poured me a glass. I was surprised at how bad it didn't taste, not unlike what I could get at the Officer's Club. Maybe this still of theirs wasn't as bad as I made it out to be…

"Well, I don't know about you, but I have places to go, people to see… You coming?" Pierce drained his martini glass and got up.

"Well, people would be mightily confused if they saw you and me talking in a friendly fashion. Besides, you'll get drunk, and I hate drunkards."

"Well, if you can't beat them, join them… Variety is the spice of life, Frank you fuddy-duddy. Try it. Being drunk might extract some life out of you, if there's any there… " Pierce hesitated, almost as if he wanted me to go. This was getting ridiculous… but he'd get drunk and hate me tomorrow, as usual. What did I have to lose? Well, my dignity and pride, for starters…

"Frank? Hello Frank, anyone home? Coming or not?" I hated how Pierce always interrupted my daydreaming.

"You'll regret this tomorrow, Pierce, and so will I," I grumbled as I got myself up.

"That I might, but there will be other people in the Officer's Club to remind us."

Before I had a chance to say anything, Pierce had forced me out the door and in the direction of the Officer's Club. I turned around just in time to see (and hear) the door shut with a deafening SLAM. Even with his new-found civility, Pierce still couldn't close doors properly.

That's Frank for you, old habits die hard… but what is getting into him? And Hawkeye? R/R, ideas always wanted, flames always appreciated. Part 3 coming whenever I get around to writing it. Currently working on another story, so this one may take a while. Don't tell me you weren't warned.