Chapter Five.
Grissom was holding Sara close to him, with his arms wrapped around her. Sara was crying into his chest, and Gil stayed silent. He wondered why Sara was given this life, she didn't deserve it, she didn't deserve it at all. Gil also wondered if Sara's father really would have killed her, would he go that far? By Sara's words, he would have, very easily too.
Gil brushed his fingers through Sara's hair gently. So many times that night, he didn't know what to say, there was nothing he could say to comfort her. Seeing Sara like this tore him apart, the pain was excruciating, but he knew that Sara felt so much worse.
Sara leaned back from the hug, but Grissom's arms were still around her. Gil wiped away her tears with one of his hands, and kept the other arm around her. Sara looked up at Grissom and made eye-contact with him. She could tell that he was worried. She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I don't know what to say," Grissom finally admitted.
"It's okay, you don't have to say a word and you still comfort me," Sara said softly. Gil smiled even though Sara couldn't see it. "I forgot that memory," Sara added.
"What?" Gil asked.
"I forgot my brother stood up for my Mom. I just... completely forgot about it. I've always thought of my brother as 'the guy who left our family the day he turned 16.' He wasn't there when my Dad was killed, he'd already left by then." Sara explained. Gil rocked her back and forth, which made Sara stop crying.
Minutes went by, then Gil thought of something and broke the silence.
"Sara, I want to know why you never told me any of this before." Grissom said softly.
Sara thought about it for a few moments before answering, "I guess I didn't learn to trust you yet, or I was afraid of what you'd think."
Gil didn't say anything, he just nodded. Then, Sara slowly drifted to sleep in Grissom's arms.
---
Awhile later, Sara woke up. She turned her head and stared into Gil's eyes. Gil blinked, and stared back at Sara. Neither of them said a word. The silence was broken by Grissom's cell phone.
"Grissom," he answered. A few seconds passed. He sighed, "Okay, I'll be right there." He closed the cell phone slowly and looked at Sara apologetically. "I have to go to the lab."
"Do you have to?" Sara asked quietly. She didn't want him to leave. Gil kept her sane, if he left, she was vulnerable again.
"It's urgent, they couldn't find someone else to do it," Grissom answered. He kissed her forehead and got up. "I'll try to get back as soon as I can." Then he left her apartment. He left her, alone again. Sara Sidle was all alone.
He left me again, so he still doesn't understand. Tears came to Sara's eyes. Why did Gil keep leaving her? Maybe he didn't want to deal with her problems, maybe he had had enough of her whining and complaining. Grissom kept her out of insanity, so why would he leave her.
Was Sara Sidle's future living in an insane asylum?
It wasn't really her choice, it was more of Grissom's. If Gil came back, he had a chance at saving her from insanity, and death. If he just left her, she could choose from suicide or an assumed identity of being crazy.