A/N: I may be two years too late, but I don't care. I'm pretty much now absolutely in love with this pairing. :) Anyway. This is post Dispo Day, and it's been sitting on my harddrive almost finished for about a month now because I could never get the ending the way I liked it. I'm still not completely happy with it, but it's probably as good as it's gonna get, heh. Usual disclaimers apply; I own nothing.
"Looks like a storm's blowing in."
Speed closed his eyes, groaning inwardly. He'd come out here to be alone, to think; and her cheerful, southern lilt was quite possibly the last thing he wanted to hear at the moment. Anybody else, Speed could have ignored, and they would've gotten the idea and left him alone. That was never the case with Calleigh. It wasn't the fact that she wouldn't leave him alone; Speed just couldn't make himself ignore her.
After a couple of seconds, he felt her hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. He sighed and opened his eyes, though he didn't look at her. Instead he turned his gaze out to sea, watching the clouds gathering on the horizon. She was right; it did look like a storm. Though on a day like this, Speed much preferred a storm to the sunshine.
Calleigh slowly lowered herself to the sand beside him, watching him worriedly. "What are you doing out here?"
Quickly he glanced at her, though he didn't answer right away. "I was just…thinking." He shrugged. "There's only so many places I can go where I'm completely alone," he said pointedly, slightly dismayed when she didn't seem to catch his message. "You know, by myself?" he added, more forcefully than he'd meant. She quickly looked away from him, and instantly he felt guilty. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry," he sighed.
Calleigh shrugged. "It's okay."
"I shouldn't have snapped." He shook his head. He honestly didn't mean to take his frustration out on her. "You're just trying to-"
"Tim, it's okay," she interrupted softly. "It's been a bad week for all of us." She looked down, shifting her position. "I've got some errands I can do, so I'm just gonna go, okay?"
He didn't exactly know what made him do it, but he reached out for her, clasping her hand in his. She looked at him in confusion, and he glanced away, letting go of her hand. "Stay," he said quietly. "Just for a little bit."
She nodded, then once again made herself comfortable on the sand. "You confuse me sometimes," she murmured.
He looked at her, for a second allowing a smirk to show before he turned his eyes once again to the sea. A short silence fell upon them, broken only by the waves as they broke just yards away. Calleigh watched him intently, fairly sure she knew why he was so troubled this morning. "Anything in particular?" she asked quietly, after another moment.
"What?" he asked, now his turn to be confused.
Calleigh smiled. "You said you came out here to think. About anything in particular?"
Speed sighed, looking down at the sand. Anyone else, he would have lied to. But, just like he couldn't ignore Calleigh, he couldn't make himself lie to her either. "No. Not one thing in particular. Just everything in the last few days, I guess." He picked up a shell, tossing it halfheartedly toward the ocean. Feeling her eyes on him urging him to continue, Speed breathed in deeply; the scent of salt and the coming rain mixing with the scent of what he'd come to know as distinctly Calleigh. It was intoxicating; oddly comforting, and suddenly, he could no longer hide what had been bothering him since the shootout. "I can't get past the fact that it should've been me," he grumbled.
Calleigh tensed, fighting the sudden urge to reach out to him, to touch him in some way. "That's not true, Tim."
"Sure it is." He shrugged. "You asked what I was thinking about, and that's it. It should have been me out there. Hollis - he had a wife. A family. He was happy. Me, I go home every night to an empty apartment. Get up the next day, do the same meaningless things all over again. I should have died the other day. Not Hollis."
"Tim…" Calleigh reached for his hand, but he pulled it out of her grasp. Just listening to him broke her heart, and the apathy; the ease in which he seemed to speak hurt her even more. "Don't say that."
"It's the truth." He scoffed. "Doesn't bother me to admit that."
Calleigh moved slightly closer to him. "It bothers me though," she said quietly. "I know I asked, but I still wish you wouldn't say things like that."
Speed let out a sigh, turning his head to her. He watched her for a moment, long enough to see the hurt in her eyes and feel guilty again for having put it there. "Anything for you, Cal," he said quietly, looking back out over the ocean. The words were spoken in a slightly sarcastic manner, much like almost everything else he'd say. But it surprised him, the amount of sincerity that lay just beyond the sarcasm.
The air seemed to thicken as silence fell around them. Calleigh shifted slightly, suddenly uncomfortable. Absently she drew random patterns in the sand with her fingers, attempting to concentrate on anything except the silence. Her instincts, as well as the low rumble of thunder in the distance, told her to run; to just get up and get out of there; but Calleigh found herself unable to leave his side.
Speed found himself watching her from the corner of his eye. He noted her sudden unease; her slight fidgeting, and the corner of his mouth twitched as he was reminded of just the day before. "I imagine you had one hell of a night," he commented, changing the subject and trying to ease some of the tension that had descended upon them.
It worked. Calleigh chuckled, turning her face away from him, somewhat embarrassedly. "Oh God," she mumbled, a tiny smile on her face.
Speed raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"
Calleigh let out a breath, tucking her hair behind her ears. "It was awful." She shook her head. "How people even stand that feeling is beyond me. I couldn't even sit still; I was that out of control."
Speed snickered, remembering. He'd seen Calleigh yesterday between the time she'd been dosed and the time Horatio sent her home, and in his mind, 'out of control' was an understatement. He smirked, knowing how much Calleigh must have hated that. She loved control, and to not have any must have driven her crazy; not that the cocaine wasn't doing a good enough job of that on its own. "Did you at least manage to get any sleep last night?" he asked, amused.
Calleigh shook her head. "No. At least, not until really early this morning." She groaned. "I couldn't stop tossing and turning all night long. I just had so much energy or something. My mind was all over the place; I was so hyper. Completely wired."
Speed grinned. "You mean, more so than usual?"
Calleigh laughed and playfully nudged him in the side with her elbow. Speed pushed her back, pretending to take offense, but smiling despite himself. With a giggle, Calleigh tilted her head, watching him closely. Speed blinked. "What?"
Calleigh shrugged. "Nothing," she replied dismissively.
He grinned again. "No, seriously. What is it?"
"Why don't you do that more often?" she asked, smiling.
"Do what?"
Calleigh held his gaze for a moment before replying. "Smile," she said slowly.
Instinctively, Speed tried to drop his smile, but surprisingly, he found it somewhat difficult to do while still looking at Calleigh. With a shrug he looked away. "I guess I just don't."
Calleigh nodded, looking away herself. "Well, you should," she said softly, once more drawing circles in the sand as again silence fell upon them. Though this time, the silence wasn't uncomfortable; it was companionable. Surprisingly, Speed found himself glad she was there, even if they were just sitting in silence. It was the first time in a while that he'd found himself not wanting to be alone.
He wasn't sure exactly how long he just sat there with her in silence, simply enjoying her company. He wasn't sure when she'd done it; but at some point, Calleigh had stopped drawing random circles in the sand and had moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. He supposed it was around that time that his arm had ended up draped lazily around her; he wasn't sure. But the one thing he was blindingly sure of was that, however they'd ended up in that position, it felt completely natural.
He heard her sigh softly, and for a moment he wondered if she'd fallen asleep. He ran his fingers through her hair a couple of times, deep in thought; what he'd done in the early hours of the morning coming back to him. "I did it, Calleigh," he said quietly, feeling an oddly strong need to tell her.
Calleigh slowly lifted her head from Speed's shoulder. "What?" she asked in confusion.
He kept his eyes on hers, though he wanted to look away. "My gun. I cleaned it this morning."
Calleigh gazed at him intently before a smile slowly crept across her face. She nodded. "Keep it that way?" she pleaded quietly.
He looked deep into her eyes, and suddenly, there it was. The reason why he'd felt compelled to get up and clean his gun at four-thirty that morning. Maybe it was also the reason why he'd been granted a second chance just days before. He didn't answer Calleigh right away; instead he leaned into her and kissed her softly on the lips. Feeling her tense in surprise, Speed started to pull back, but changed his mind once he felt her respond. He placed a hand on her cheek and deepened the kiss just slightly, hearing Calleigh moan softly. After a few more moments Speed broke the kiss, pulling back and waiting for her to open her eyes. Gently he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, simply holding her gaze for a moment before he spoke.
"Anything for you, Calleigh," he repeated, this time the sincerity not hidden behind sarcasm. Calleigh stared at him for a moment before she remembered what he was replying to; her lips curving in a wide smile as realization dawned. She leaned in and recaptured his lips with hers, kissing him deeply.
A loud peal of thunder sounded from just overhead, and Calleigh jumped away from him, startled. Speed gave a low chuckle at her reaction. "You were right," he observed, glancing to the sky. "It is gonna storm."
"Of course I was right," Calleigh sassed. "When have I ever been wrong?" She smiled easily, feeling the last of the earlier tension dissolving.
Speed grinned. "You mean, besides that one time you -"
Calleigh quickly leaned closer to him, pressing her lips to his and effectively interrupting him. "You weren't supposed to answer that," she said upon pulling away. She looked to the sky, noticing a few raindrops starting to fall. "We'd better get out of here if we don't want to get caught in the storm," she murmured, although perfectly content where she was. Still, she stood and brushed the sand off of her. "Come on," she said, grinning as she extended her hand to Speed. "You can buy me lunch."
Speed stared up at her. "Uh, excuse me?" he asked, attempting to sound incredulous.
Calleigh smirked. "You were going to offer anyway."
"I was not!" he protested, even though he really had been just about to offer.
"Yeah, you were." Calleigh winked, grinning. "Come on, Tim."
Speed sighed in mock exasperation. "Fine. If I have to." Calleigh giggled, and Speed took her outstretched hand, pulling himself to his feet. "You know, I should have pulled you back down onto the sand with me," he smirked.
"Yeah, and then you'd have been buying me dinner too," Calleigh said. Playfully she tugged on his hand. "Come on, Tim," she whined. "I don't want to get wet!"
Speed laughed, his spirits considerably higher than before. "So I'm guessing that picking you up and tossing you in the ocean is a bad idea?"
Calleigh stared at him. "You wouldn't dare."
Speed looked at her thoughtfully. "Yeah, you're right. You know how dangerous it is to swim in a storm," he said, beginning to walk up the beach. He smirked once Calleigh caught up to him. "I'll just save that idea for another day," he teased, completely expecting the playful yet forceful shove he received in return.