Title: An Awful Thing Chapter 11: Sparkly Fire Ex Machina
By: Jedishampoo (Jedishampoo at aol dot com)
Rating: PG-13 overall, averaged out I think
Summary: Howl and Sophie get mixed up in magical and dimensional doings, and Sophie is less mixed up now. Humor/Adventure/Romance thingie. Crossover between Howl's Moving Castle and Terry Pratchett's Discworld.
Author's Notes: This is movieverse!Howl and company. I've read the books by Diana Wynne Jones, and so a little bookishness may creep in here and there, but the movie is what made me fall in love with the characters. Comments, constructive criticism eagerly welcomed.
A little bit shorter chapter, but I've changed my mind about later stuff so it'll be a couple more chapters before the end. Sometimes the story writes itself. Thanks for hanging in there!
xxx
Chapter 10: Sparkly Fire Ex Machina
Howl brought them through the 'door' directly onto the balcony-yard of his flying castle. He took a brief moment to congratulate himself silently on his returned wizarding skills. They were home! He'd been so fevered and loopy for the last hour that he hadn't been absolutely sure he could accomplish the task of getting them here. It might have had something to do with being knocked on the head, but Howl suspected it had much more to do with Sophie.
He looked down at her, standing beside him. She looked up. They didn't go inside, just stood out in the cold, staring at each other like idiots.
Sophie's hair shone in the dark, pale as the damp clouds that passed around and through them. Something had changed about her, in Ankh-Morpork. Her sweetly stubborn independence had come full-circle, or something, and she was in charge here. Whatever she wanted, he would give her. Her little hands had a careful grip on his heart, as they had for months.
What did she want? Time to decide? She'd seemed pretty damned decisive, in Ankh-Morpork. He'd waited in that little room for a halt that had not come-- well, from Sophie, anyway-- and now he was off-kilter, unsure.
Sophie stepped closer, decisive once more. Howl was still careful; he let his hands run over her, let them remember the shape of her and the way she breathed. Then he pulled her close, as close as could be. Making sure she understood just how much he wanted her.
She didn't back away, and her breath formed little misty clouds of white as she stood on tiptoe to kiss him.
She'd said she wouldn't leave him. And Sophie nearly always told the complete truth, when it was really important. He loved her so very much, if love felt like being punched in the stomach. Or if it made one feel that the blood was rushing so madly through one's veins that the flesh was unable to cope; the flesh must fall.
She made the most extraordinary little noises. That grass over there looked nice and soft--
The door was opening. That purse had definitely carried an interruption spell, Howl decided with a sort of nihilistic resignation
"Sophie! Master Howl! You're back!"
"Well, look, if it isn't the sleeping princess, being kissed awake at last."
"Huh?" This was Markl again.
He would never be alone with Sophie again Howl thought. What he said aloud was, "hello, everyone," complete with the falsest smile he could muster.
"Hello Markl, Granny," said Sophie, releasing Howl and turning towards the door. She didn't sound upset in the least, though she did pat his arm in her best consoling manner. "Is Heen all right? I didn't hurt him earlier, did I?"
That was Sophie, always caring. The dog, hearing his name, followed Markl and Wilhelmina out the door, wagging his tail and wheezing with glee. And yes, to make the crowd complete, there was Calcifer, hovering over Markl's head.
"You were gone all day, Sophie!" Markl cried.
"You left everything here, Howl," Calcifer said.
"I know!" Howl said with a sigh. There was still so much to deal with. Dammit.
Wilhelmina laughed. "You should be in bed, Markl," she said. "I'm going to stay out here and watch the ice melt."
"Huh?" from Markl again.
"You're always so cynical, Granny," Sophie told the old lady with a kiss on the cheek.
Howl waved his arms. If they all had to gather right now, and if he had work to do while they gathered, then he'd prefer to do it somewhere comfortable. "It's cold out here. Why don't we just go inside, and Sophie will tell everyone all about it?"
"Did you bring me anything?" Wilhelmina asked, shuffling through the door.
"No! But we did run into one of your little sabotages," Howl told her with narrowed eyes. Her, at least, he could be cross with. "To punish you, I won't even tell you any more about it."
"Whatever it was, I'm sure it happened a long time ago," Wilhelmina snorted. "If you can be forgiven, then so can I."
"Can we just go inside, please?" Wheeze. "Thank you, Heen."
At last they all bundled in the door. Calcifer jumped into his grate, crackling the logs and filling the room with warmth. Howl could see everything was as they'd left it-- the circle on the floor around the chair, all of Dibbler's junk piled on his kitchen table. The room still smelled faintly of sausage.
"You'd better go search W-- Granny's room, Markl," Howl told the boy. "We'll need to get rid of absolutely everything, or this whole trip was for nothing."
"And Sophie calls me cynical," Wilhelmina said, laughing again. "I haven't got anything."
"We have heard that before, Granny," Sophie reminded her. Good for Sophie! At least someone was taking Howl's side.
"I don't have anything. Really. All that man's stuff is junk, anyway," the old lady said.
"Where did you go, Sophie?" Markl wanted to know.
Sophie set out the teacups and started some water to boil, then sat down at the kitchen table with Wilhelmina and Markl to tell them about Ankh-Morpork. Howl knelt down at the grate to talk to Calcifer.
"The wizard there said Illivin's Fire. When he said fire, I thought, Calcifer's the demon to talk to." It never hurt to butter up Calcifer; Howl had learned that from Sophie. "Can you help me with that one?"
Calcifer looked a little smug. "Hmmm... is that the blue one with all the sparkly lights?"
"Yep."
"Got a little curse to get rid of too, then, don't you?"
"Maybe." Damn Calcifer. Howl's mood was deteriorating moment by moment. Not only was he having to put up with sauce from everyone, but this job would most likely take hours. If he did it thoroughly; that was, if he included setting the spell to locate all the other items that might be scattered around Ingary, and then destroying them right where they were, whether lying on a table or walking around Kingsbury in someone's pocket or handbag. That would take finesse. He wasn't sure he had the patience right then for finesse. But he was determined to finish the job. He had to finish something, or he would go mad.
At least Calcifer seemed to feel like being helpful. The tops of his flames snapped, throwing little sparks into the air. "Bring 'em on," he said.
"That's a good fire."
"Don't push it, Howl."
"And there was a large orange ape who was a wizard and a policeman!" Sophie was telling Markl and Wilhelmina. Thankfully, from what Howl was hearing, she also knew what parts to leave out of the story. "He was very nice. Usually. He had the most interesting ways of saying ook."
Howl began grabbing Dibbler's stuff from end of the table where the others had pushed it. From what he could tell, it looked like everything was there. He eyed the chair, and wondered if that was tainted and should go as well. Then he shrugged. He could always make a new chair. He rolled up his shirtsleeves and went to work. Everything was piled on the chair-- the odd black-and-glass boxes, the other horrible little items with pictures of Mary Lynn Monner on them. Dibbler's stick with the jangling bits all over it he propped against the chair. Howl had to wipe his hands after he'd touched that.
A few more drawings on the floor and soon Howl was engrossed, to good effect. Howl would whip up a spell in the air and Calcifer would give it a good shot of flame to ignite it. Thankfully, the blue sparkly Illivin's fire worked on the items in his kitchen. Once he finally got rid of them, the smell of sausage vanished.
"Oh! You wouldn't believe the wizards in Ankh-Morpork," Howl thought he heard Sophie say at one point. "They all have beards and wear pointy hats. Except for the ape I mentioned, of course. But that's how you know they're wizards, there. I think. And one of them told me that the entire point of going to Unseen University is learn how not to use magic. Isn't that odd?"
Odd is right, thought Howl, idly. He hadn't remembered hearing that. He wondered how long he'd been unconscious and just how many wizards Sophie had chatted with during that time. It had probably been she who'd initially charmed those hormonal youngsters who had set him and Sophie free.
"Not to use magic? But that's dumb," Markl said.
"You got that right, kid. Sounds like a stupid idea to me, too," Wilhelmina said. "Were any of 'em good-looking?"
"Well..." Sophie said. "I wouldn't say handsome, precisely."
Howl and Calcifer kept working. The location spell took much longer since it was for an unknown number of items. Thankfully, it seemed, Dibbler hadn't sold too many knickknacks before Howl and Sophie had caught him.
The other worlds Dibbler had passed through-- Howl could do nothing about them. They, and whatever wizards they possessed, were on their own.
Time passed. Things grew quiet around him. Howl was concentrating so hard on finishing the damn job-- and focusing on it as he'd been told to-- that he hardly noticed when Sophie kissed his cheek. She said something, and he said okay, took a second to wonder what she'd said, and then had to concentrate some more. People bought the strangest things, and stashed them in the strangest places.
But when he and Calcifer were finally done, Howl was pretty darned confident that all the trinket-stragglers were taken care of. The unlucky temporary owners, Dibbler's customers, shouldn't even wake to find scorch spots on their tables or clothing. Howl was that good.
He set his hands on his hips and closed his eyes to gloat for a few moments. He wondered whether he should send a snarky note to Suliman. Maybe he'd write one line only: "Done with Everything. H." Or maybe it should just say "Done." And should he sign it, "Love, H.?" just to be ironic? Nah, he ultimately decided. Suliman would only laugh, and he didn't feel like giving her any reason for amusement.
Howl opened his eyes and looked around the castle kitchen. The smell of sausage wasn't the only thing that had vanished. Everyone else had vanished, also. At some point Granny, and even Markl, who should have at least offered to help, had gone to bed.
And Sophie was gone also. Howl could hardly believe it. She hadn't even waited for him to be finished. So it was late morning, already-- big deal. She could have at least waited a few hours for him, after all they'd been through.
Or at least she could have made breakfast.
Howl had been abandoned. He was cranky, lonely, and tired. The near-afternoon sun was shining happy yellow beams through the Kingsbury window. Even the weather wouldn't cooperate with his mood.
"Well, I guess I'm the only one who cares, then," Howl whined, to no one in particular.
"Don't know why you're telling me," Calcifer said in a sleepy voice.
"Grrr," Howl said. He briefly considered taking a bath. Then he had a better idea.
He stomped to the door, and turned the knob to yellow. Sunny. Ick. He tried blue. A few rain-splatters hit the window.
"Perfect," he said. He opened the door, went out, and slammed it behind him.
xxx
End Chapter 11
Like I mentioned, the ending has changed and so chapter 12 is being re-written. I'm a pretty fast writer, though. For good or bad. ;) PLEASE share your thoughts or comments, good or bad!
Disclaimer: HMC characters owned by Diana Wynne Jones and/or Studio Ghibli; Discworld characters owned by Terry Pratchett. I made no money writing this; it is purely for fun.