Chapter 3

"Timmy let me play!"

9-yearold Tim stopped bouncing the orange ball long enough to look down at his 6-yearold sister. She was dressed in a pink flowered summer dress, her hair up in pigtails, and her bright brown eyes staring up at him in such innocence.

"Haley you've never even touched a basketball before, why would you want to play now?"

His voice was calming, soothing to a stranger but it still didn't stop the pool of tears that spurted in Haley's eyes. He hated to see her cry; he broke when he was the reason for it. Tim Smith was the ultimate bad boy, he snuck out, partied, and yet he was only just hitting his teen years. For a boy living the life he was though, what else could you expect? His father threw money at him to get him out of the house, and his mother was too busy with the twins to ever take notice to him, but his baby sister was different. When she looked up at him with her sparkling eyes he felt needed. He had one weakness, one part of him that could shatter his entire existence if any harm ever came to her. He loved her more then anything in this world.

She made living seem worthwhile.

"I just wanted to hang out with you."

Her bottom lip quivered and Tim immediately sunk down to his knees to be eye level with her.

"Come on baby sis. Don't cry."

He watched as she slowly nodded her head trying to obey him but her breathing just became more pressured and her chest was starting to heave. Tim panicked as he felt his own heart rate beginning to skyrocket and he quickly let out a hasty sigh before handing her the orange ball.

"You want me to teach you how to shoot?"

Her appearance took a 180 as the ball touched her small, delicate hands. Her pout turned into a beautiful smile and her eyes sparkled with happiness from the attention Tim was showing her.

Tim walked behind his little sister and positioned her arms and hands so that they were in the shooting form. He lifted her up and she raised the ball above her head and watched as it soared through the air. It went down and made a perfect "swoosh" sound from the net. Haley clapped her hands in delight as her brother ran to pick up the ball.

"Someday when we're older Hales you'll be so good you can beat me."

Haley gave her brother a toothy grin before snatching the ball from his hands.

"I can already beat you Timmy!"

His smile matched hers and he ran to swoop her up in his arms.

"You're just too cute to argue with baby sis."

Haley let out a squeal as her brother throw her up and caught her in his arms. He then proceeded to run around their spacious backyard with Haley laughing and smiling from her position on his shoulders.

She could still feel the muscles in her mouth cramp as that memory came flooding back to her. She was smiling so wide that day that she had to ice her cheeks when they went back in side the house. She missed that feeling.

Smiling to wide.

She walked into the small office and looked at the name platelet on the overly large desk. "Dr. Williams", her new therapist.

God she hated these places. They want you to open up and express you feelings but yet they sit in front of you with a pad of paper and scribble down things that make you feel like the ugly girl in High School. It's like sitting there and watching someone make a burn book about you, but yet you pay thousands of dollars for them to do so.

The door opened and Haley watched as a gray haired man walked in, gave her a charming smile, and then sat behind his desk while folding his hands in front of him.

"Hello Haley."

She looked at him with curiosity and held up her small hand in the waving position.

"Hi."

He sat there still smiling at her, waiting for her to say something else, but when nothing came out of her mouth his smile grew wider as he leaned back in his chair.

"Tell me why you're here?"

And the good times begin. Of course he knew why she was there. He didn't have to play dumb, or treat her like she was suicidal, it was all laid out on paper for him to read, and if he expected her to just open up and rehash out all her old stories, well he was in for a very rude awakening.

Haley turned her eyes from the man and looked out the window.

"You should know, my file is sitting right on your desk."

Her eyes glanced away from the barren window and onto the old man whose eyes in return to her statement widened with amusement.

"Tell me about the night then."

She kept her eyes locked on his and couldn't help but notice how kind they were. He didn't fidget and grow uncomfortable around her, like many others who knew of her past, and he didn't hold any pity in his voice.

She appreciated that.

"Which one?"

He opened the file and took out a pair of thick glasses, which he dusted off and then placed on his head.

"How about we start with the night your father left."

Haley nodded her head as she licked her lips and shrugged her shoulders.

"What do you want to know?"

His eyes glanced up from the papers and he looked Haley over taking in her tough demeanor. She watched as his stare went right through her and her hand started to shake once she realized he could see right through it, and it terrified her to know that he was different. He wouldn't put up with her dodging the questions, and he could tell when she was lying. This was new for Haley.

Most therapists frankly didn't give a sh.

Or were just too stupid to believe anything else.

"What were you doing when it happened?"

Haley folded her hands on her lap to keep them from twitching and then she let out a small sigh.

"I was watching tv."

His eyes squinted and he leaned back further into his chair. He took off his glasses, closed the file, and then crossed his arms over his chest.

"Did you know you have a tell Haley."

"A what?"

"A tell." She looked at him with confusion as the doctor leaned forward in his chair and placed his arms on his desk.

"It's a thing people do when they're lying."

Haley's eyes immediately darted to the floor.

"You see, some people blink in one eye, or tuck a stand of hair behind their ears, but I have to say this is the first time I've seen yours."

Haley pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth and she could feel her anxiety growing in her chest. She felt suffocated, trapped, and like the walls were slowly closing in around her protection layer.

Her lies.

"You see when you lie Haley, your eyebrow just above your left eye slightly rises."

Haley's eyes snapped up to the doctor's and she could see him trying to pry open her soul.

He wanted her to be honest with him. Something she had not done with any human being in a long time.

"So are we ready to get started now?"

Haley sat there clicking her teeth together, her emotions running haywire throughout her body, and the only thing she could register to do was give a simple nod of her head.

"When your father left Haley, what were you doing?"

"I was…" She brought her hands up to her face and gently rubbed at her eyes before slinging them down and letting her voice trail in a whisper.

"I was watching from my window."

"Watching what?"

"I was watching him load suitcases in his car."

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and could almost taste her blood in her mouth. She felt her eyes water, but she tried her hardest to push back the pain.

"How old were you?"

"I had just turned 15."

"Did you try to stop him?"

Haley sat in the leather couch, feeling engulfed in it's size, she felt like she had the night she watched her father leave, powerless, weak, useless. She shook her head at his question as her right leg began to shake.

"Why not?"

Haley let out a jagged sigh before shrugging her shoulders.

"I wanted to be him."

"What do you mean Haley?"

Haley looked up at the ceiling to keep from focusing in on the old man's eyes. She felt her walls collapsing. Her security was faltering, and now here she was telling her most inner emotions, the ones she had worked so hard at to hide.

"I wanted to be able to run away too."

Her eyes slowly lowered from the ceiling and her throat became raspy as she sucked down all her tears. The salt stung her throat as it trickled down her mouth.

"You didn't have that option?"

Haley shook her head.

"I couldn't leave my mom and Jake."

"Why not?"

"The guilt."

"The guilt of what?"

She couldn't say it out loud yet. She couldn't allow herself to speak what her mind had been haunting her of every day since it happened. She wasn't ready to reveal her dark secret yet.

She wasn't ready to admit the source of her destruction. The reason behind this "new" Haley as Jake called it.

She was still so fragile to it all, so broken to the truth.

She wouldn't tell the doctor the reason for her guilt; not when she couldn't even tell it to herself.

Haley released her bottom lip from her teeth as she let out a pained sigh.

"They were both still so broken you know?" Haley felt her body shaking as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I had to stay to hold them together. I couldn't just leave."

"But your father could?"

She shook her head as she lowered it.

"It was never about leaving us, to my Dad. It was more about survival."

"What are you trying to say Haley?"

Haley's eyes came back up to meet the doctor's curious stare.

"If he stayed with us he would have died."

"From what? Your family? His job? What Haley?"

"Memories."

Her voice came out in a pained whisper and she could see the shock rise in the eyes of the old man.

"Memories of what?"

Haley's mind started to cloud as his voice began to filter through her head.

"Umm I…" Haley shook her head and tried to clear her intoxicated state. It was one thing knowing her father's reason; it was another thing saying it out loud. "His childhood maybe, I don't really know."

"Your left eyebrow just raised Haley."

Haley's eyes glanced to the window as the tears brimmed her lids.

"Memories of what?"

Haley turned her head and looked at the doctor as a solitary tear fell from her eye.

"Tim."

The first tear to fall in a year.

"Memories of my brother."

"Meet me back here in an hour?"

Haley's eyes scanned the Scott's beach house, which was filled with drunken teenagers and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Hales are you okay?"

She didn't like the party scene. In Seattle she was invited to them, countless times, but she never went. It just felt like she was out of place, like she didn't belong. It also felt like she was letting him down. Tim was a partier, and he always told her how he didn't want her to turn out like him.

He expected so much more from her.

Haley's eyes came up and met Jake. He was scanning her face and looking at her with worry written across his features.

"I'm fine Jake. Be here in an hour, I got it."

Jake looked her over, his features making it evident that he didn't believe her.

"You're sure?"

She nodded her head while giving her brother a small smile.

"I'm okay, I promise. Now go have fun."

He looked her over one last time and then finally shook his head before walking away from her.

She knew she was hurting him, every time she lied, but she couldn't stop it. She wasn't ready to open up to him yet, and she couldn't find any other alternative to still letting him be apart of her life without officially cutting him off.

She also knew that he was one of the few people that could see through her bull. He never questioned her though, he was afraid she would lock up even more, and she knew that she would.

She was too fragile to be opened up.

"Haley?"

A small involuntary smile came to her lips as she turned around and faced the voice behind her.

"Hey Nathan."

She watched as his blue eyes lit up and a smile curled his pink lips.

"When did you get here?"

"Just now."

He nodded his head and took her hand in his. He then bent down and his lips lightly brushed her ear.

"Can I show you something?"

She hesitated. His voice sent chills down her spine and her nerves began to jumble throughout her body. She couldn't answer him; her voice seemed caught in her throat at their close proximity, so instead she just nodded her head and watched as his smile seemed to grow wider and he led her through the crowd of people.

They were entering the kitchen when a high-pitched voice snarled from behind them.

"Well isn't that just the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

His body seemed to tense as the female walked in front of them. She had long brown hair, piercing green eyes, tall and slender, and she was dressed like a 10-dollar hooker.

"Theresa not now."

"What tying to protect your new play thing Natey?"

Haley's eyes glanced to the ground wanting to escape from this situation. She tried to pull her hand from his, but his grip just tightened with each tug.

"She isn't any of your business."

Her eyes narrowed in on Nathan before glancing over to Haley and looking her up and down.

"Nathan do us both a favor and at least pick a girl that's an upgrade from me."

Haley's mind started to scream at her, telling her to get away. She couldn't handle this.

"I've got to tell you sweetie you're not his type, so do us both a favor and leave."

Her voice dripped with venom and Haley could feel the blood rushing from her face.

"He'll just bag you and leave you little girl."

Haley could feel her eyes watering as she ripped her hand out of Nathan's touch and took a few steps away from him.

"Theresa-"

"What Nathan! Don't try and hide the truth now!"

"I'm going to go-"

Haley pointed over her shoulder signaling her departure but before she could leave Nathan reached out and took her hand in his.

"Haley wait-"

"Well this is defiantly a first."

Haley's eyes glanced away from Nathan's pleading stare and locked on to Theresa.

"I've never seen a girl run away from Nathan Scott."

Theresa's eyes glanced at Nathan and then back at Haley as she narrowed them in.

"He usually does the running, and trust me it doesn't happen this early in the night."

Haley took in a huge gulp as her eyes left Theresa's and then slowly came back to Nathan's. They weren't shinning with anticipation like they were before, now they held a different emotion.

Guilt.

Haley didn't have to question him on it to know what this girl was saying was the truth. She didn't want to deal with getting her heart broken again. It had already been through enough damage to be destroyed once more.

Haley gently pulled her hand from his and gave him one last meaningful look before turning around and walking out of the kitchen. She was almost to the door when she heard his voice calling from behind her.

"Haley wait!"

She let out a deep sigh and stopped walking but kept her back facing him.

"That wasn't what it sounded like."

Haley's eyes lowered to the ground before she turned around and stared back up at Nathan.

"So you don't have meaningless sex with girl's and then leave them the next morning to wake up all alone with no explanation, or are you the nice type and actually stay there and look at them with pity as they get up and collect their clothes to leave?"

"Haley…"

Haley held up her hand to stop any more words from leaving his mouth as her eyes glanced to the side.

"You don't owe me any explanations Nathan."

He reached out his hand to grab hers but she took a small step back lengthening the distance between them.

"I just don't want you to be mad at me."

She shrugged her shoulders as she let out a small sigh.

"How could I be mad Nathan, this is who you are."

She waved a hand around the house motioning to the drunken teens barley making it up the white stairs.

Her eyes finally came back to rest on his and she could see the regret and hope splashed all over his features.

"It's my fault for thinking you were something else."

Her eyes stayed locked on his and she watched as the hope vanished and his eyes took over a look of sadness.

She walked out of the house and onto the streets where she started her long walk home.

When she finally arrived to her red brick house she didn't even notice the silver Bentley sitting in the driveway. As she walked through the door she didn't see the man sitting in her living room. She put one foot on the first step when his voice froze every moving part of her body.

"Haley bear I'm home."

Her eyes closed in pain at his nickname and as she turned around and took in the stranger's appearance she felt as if her whole world had shattered once again.

She looked across the room to see her mother's broken body sitting on their couch but yet making no move to say anything, just sitting there, the light in her eyes darkened without any trace of a sparkle. Only one man had ever been able to break her mother into the person Haley now had her stare transfixed on, and that man was now sitting in their living room and staring at Haley with a wide-toothed grin.

Jimmy James

Her father

-Sarah