It took me a few days before I could face Grace again, I knew what happened at the school wasn't her fault but a part of me just couldn't stand to see hers or any other RDA member's face. Not only did I need to process what I saw but I also needed to think about what actually happened to me. The old Na'vi told me I had a vision of the past, a gift from Eywa he called it. It didn't feel like a gift, it felt more like a curse. I didn't want to see little children being massacred, and only Eywa knows what else would trigger my visions.
When I finally ran into Grace again I threw my arms around her and sobbed, after my isolation I realised that what I really needed was some physical comfort and soothing words. This wasn't something I could get through on my own.
"Where have you been, kid?" Grace had muttered into my hair after she returned the hug. "You worried me when you ran off like that, almost had to bring Quaritch on you to bring you back."
"I met someone out there, a Na'vi. His name is Atxa, he's really old." Awa confessed with slightly reddened cheeks from her violent sobbing. She considered herself very lucky that a Na'vi had chosen to show himself to her and talk to her. He was kind to her, soothing her worries and reassuring her that it's okay and that she couldn't have possible changed what she saw.
"A Na'vi spoke to you?" Grace asked surprised, out of all the things she expected Awa to have run into in the forest a Na'vi wasn't one of them. Especially an old one.
"Yes" Awa confirmed with a proud look on her face. "I talked to a Na'vi"
"That's surprising, usually they won't reveal themselves to us and if they do it's usually not for good reasons. Relations between the Na'vi and us get worse by the years and that idiot Selfridge is only making it worse." Grace cursed the man in both english and na'vi. She truly hated that man, more than she hated anything else. God help them if the Na'vi actually decide to fight back against what they're doing, the little attacks they have on bulldozers and stray humans are nothing. "I don't remember an Atxa"
"He's really old so I doubt he went to your school, Grace" Awa retorted with a playful grin. "Though I suppose he could have been one of your students, just look at how old you've gotten"
"Excuse you young lady, I am not old." Grace grinned back, not taking offense of the playful words. "Guess you're one of the only people here who've had any interaction with the natives since the school closed" She continued sadly, lost in her memories again. Closing down that school broke her, Awa remarked, having to be degraded from a friend of the Omaticaya to an enemy must be so difficult for her. To be associated with the same kind of people that massacre their people can't be easy.
"You'll see them one day again Grace, I promise you that."Awa swore, holding above her heart and a slightly bowed head. That's the least Grace deserves for all she's done for Awa. She could only imagine the hurt the older woman carried around within her, and to have to look at the person who ordered that attack everyday is something Awa didn't think she could handle. No, Grace was a strong woman. Awa wished she would someday be as strong as her. "Now I need to go train and you need to go stare at some samples."
"There's no other drivers out there right now so you'll have the whole place to yourself" Grace told the other woman with a quick wink before she walked away, leaving Awa standing in the empty corridor by herself.
She shrugged and then walked to the linking room and quickly linked to her Na'vi body after saying her hellos to the workers there. The most underrated people in the whole RDA was the linking technicians, without them this wouldn't be possible. She'd have to remember to bake them a cake or something.
Awa cleared her mind and then she woke up in her other body. She stretched out her limbs with a big yawn before jumping out of the uncomfortable bed she had woken up in. The beds in the sleeping shack was lumpy and hard, not the good kind of hard but like a rock hard hard. She couldn't remember how many times she woke up with a sore back because of it, and a sore back was never a good thing to have on Pandora if you were a newbie like her.
She walked out of the building, still stretching her arms and rolling her neck to get out all of that stiffness from the long nights rest. A few loud cracks from her neck and elbows later and she was good to go. The dreamwalker switched between jogging and sprinting as she made her way over to the obstacle course that she had yet to actually finish without either falling to her face or make overly cautious moves that would get her killed in the forest/ jungle out there.
She climbed up on the first ledge and stared down at the ground that was so far away from where she was standing that she could feel a slight tingle in her toes that stretched up to her fingertips. Her tail was swishing in small movements along the ground, showing her nervousness loud and clear. "I can do this" She told herself after a long period of silence consisting of her staring at the ground and breathing louder than a woman just before the first push when giving birth. It was embarrassing really.
"It won't get any easier just because you stare at it, if anything the longer you doubt yourself the longer it will take until you can do it. It's all in your head, Awa, you need to trust that your body can do it or it can't." A familiar voice scolded her playfully. Scrawled out on a branch in the tree nearest the high fence of the Avatar yard was Atxa. His arm was hanging lazily over the side of the branch along with his tail. "How many times have you fallen down that same hole?"
"I don't want to talk about it" Awa muttered, shame and embarrassment bubbling up inside of her. She was well aware that she should trust her body but it wasn't that easy, her insecurities won each time. "I'll get it this time"
She crouched down slightly and then she jumped, pushing hard from the small ledge and then she was airborne. It felt like time was slowing down but she knew it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She could see her coming closer to her goal, her arms and legs twisting and turning in all directions, and then she was falling and time went back to its normal pace. She fell to the ground with a large thump and she let out a loud groan. She didn't make it this time either, but she was closer than most times she's failed.
"I told you it wouldn't work." The Na'vi sing sang from his place in the tree, a smirk on his lips and playfulness glinting in his eye. He was enjoying this, she noted. "Now usually I don't talk with sky people like you but you're special so I will give you this offer only once. Do you hear me Awa? Only once and if you say no then I'm gone but if you say yes you have to do your best at all time. Failure, as you know, isn't an option"
Awa sprang to her feet with a surprised look on her face, he was offering her something? "What is the offer?" She ask curiously as she looked up at the Na'vi still lying on the branch a small distance away.
"You have to come here to hear it" He informed her and then sat up. She would have to prove that she was willing to trust herself and willing to change before he made the official offer. "Prove to me that you're worthy of that body you're in" He continued, pointing with a small stick at her figure.
Awa growled slightly at the words, of course she was worthy of the body, she's earned it. She's made more sacrifices to be in her true body than most could understand and now this Na'vi was questioning it all? Who does he think he is? She growled in her head.
Atxa beckoned her to come to him with a hand, almost daring her to do it. Awa looked at him, calculating the best way to get to him. She would have to make the jump he had seen her fail then another one and then she would have to jump to the highest part of the fence. Then a short drop waited her and lastly she would have to climb up the tall thick tree. No biggie, she tried to convince herself.
"Here we go!" She exclaimed as she positioned herself to make the jump once again. Her thighs tensed in preparation, she squared her shoulders and then she pushed herself to make the jump. Her strong muscles propelled her into the air and she looked down stunned at how high she had jumped this time, time slowed again and she was briefly worried that she was going to fall down again but then her feet touched the hard cemented ledge opposite of the one she jumped from.
She turned around to face the Na'vi ,while making a small victory dance consisting of awkward jumping and fistpumping th eair, who sarcastically clapped his hands at her jump. "What are you waiting for? Make the other jump, that jump is nothing compared to what you will face later, celebrate your victory only after you're safe."
She pouted slightly but quickly stopped after she realised how childish she was behaving, as soon as she got a challenge she backed down and then pouted at her failure that was really her own fault. She's had a small victory but she isn't done yet so she shouldn't be celebrating.
Awa took a deep breath and then made the second jump, flying over it as easily as the first one. She was beaming by now, the feeling of success fueling her next jump to the highest part of the fence. It felt like she was flying, and then all of a sudden she was losing height and she desperately stretched out a hand to try and grab the fence. She managed to grab the fence, her hands holding on to the thing pieces of wood and metal.
The woman placed her forehead against the fence and sighed, her whole body was still tingling from the near fall and she doubted it would stop for some time.
"You're very close now. Don't give up" Atxa urged her when he saw that she stopped moving for a few minutes. He didn't want her adrenaline to wear off because then her insecurities would come back and she would never make it to where he was. He would of course still offer his services even if she didn't make it all the way, she had proven enough, but he wanted to see if she would push herself this last bit.
With newfound strength she pulled herself up to the top of the fence, her muscles flexing with each movement and her breath coming out in short pants. She was going to make it! She cheered in her own head. She was almost there!
She let herself fall down on the other side of the fence and then stood up again. Now she only needed to climb the tree, something she was confident that she could do, she's climbed a ton of trees in her youth and on Pandora.
It took her about 5 minutes to reach the branch he was now sitting up on. She was feeling the exhaustion catching up to her, her last pulls lacking the same precision and strength as the previous one. She plopped down besides the Na'vi with labored breathing and shaking limbs. The workout had taken more out of her than she had expected.
"I'm here now" She whispered to him in between pants, her voice was weak because of what she just did. "What's the offer?"
"I'm offering to train you" Atxa grinned, proud that she had made it to him.