She sat in the same spot, bawling her eyes out in symphony with the other noises in the forest, before she finally dried the tears off her cheek, pulled herself together and left the scene of her shame. WIth a deep breathe she shoved all her feelings down into a small box and shoved it into a dark corner in her mind, she didn't have time to reflect on his words right now. Awa needed to go make sure her body was fine, or as fine as it could be after the beating it was given.
She stood on shaky legs, feeling the pins and needles travel through her feet and legs all the way up to the tips of her fingers. Before walking down the hill in front of her she shook her legs to get some of the feeling back to them. Tsu'tey had already seen her so there was no use in sneaking down into the hometree, him actually showing himself only confirmed her suspicions that they knew she was there, watching her. She was surprised that he recognised her in human form, she didn't think he would have paid that much attention to her facial features so that he could recognise them in human form.
"I only need to go down this hill, sneak past eventual Na'vi, and then rush to wherever they're keeping my body." She whispered to herself, trying to pep-talk herself enough so that she wouldn't freeze in fear. She had never actually been to the Hometree, she only made it to the outskirts before she stupidly challenged Tsu'tey.
"Oh fuck" She cursed and facepalmed. What was she going to do when she actually made it to her body? Just smile at whoever is there and say something like 'oh, who am ? I'm Atxa's student, who also happens to be human and you're um- you're taking care of my body over there'. No, she really hadn't thought this through. She really needed to start planning before she made more stupid decisions like this or the challenge. After she had made sure that her body was safe she was supposed to do what? Just walk back into Hell's Gate and get back in the link unit and then explain why she went through all that trouble. "I'm just going to wing it" She told herself with a sarcastic smile as she started her slow journey, all thoughts of planning flying with the wind in her hair.
It took maybe about 40 minutes to climb all the way down the steep hill, she fell only 3 times; one in the beginning because a bird of a flaming red color startled her and she stumbled on a rock, the second time because she was attempting to run down the hill, and the last time because she stumbled over her own two feet. She marvelled at the nature surrounding her, the fluorescent plant life, how big everything was compared to when she was in Na'vi form, and she marvelled at the feeling being here gave her. She had never felt more alive, more happy, or healthy than when she was in the forest. She never thought you could feel this way, she had always been sceptical about nature healing people but she didn't doubt it anymore. Atxa had introduced her and now it was up to her to continue that journey.
She had lost her shoes a kilometer or two ago, they were only distracting her and didn't really help with anything. The soles of her feet weren't used to the tough terrain but it was better than the shoes and she would welcome the pain after she was done with this adventure. Her mask still sat firm on her face, even after her clumsy reattachment of it after she dried her tears. Her heart raced just thinking about the dumb decision, she was so close to passing out and she knew that none of the Na'vi would help her even if they discovered her lying there dying.
The hometree grew larger and larger before her eyes as she continued her wandering journey towards it. She could see more of the flying Ikran now, in all sizes, colors and patterns. She dreamt often of having her own ikran, of being accepted into a clan and living amongst the Na'vi. She still couldn't see any Na'vi yet, which worried her. If they weren't there, then where were they?
...
She had snuck past the Na'vi she saw, and by that she meant that she rushed past the one Na'vi child that was sleeping on one of the low hanging branches of the tree. Her feet were just one big aching mess with massive splinters and blisters covering various parts. She winced with each step but she was so close now, so she held in all the noises and exclamations of pain that wanted to slip past her lips.
"What are you doing here?" A feminine voice drawled suddenly.
She jumped and let out a loud gasp. "I'm just going to the healers?" Awa responded uncertainly without turning around. Just her luck to be caught just before making it to her body.
"You're lucky it was me that found you and not anyone else, they would have killed you on sight" The voice continued as it got closer and closer, the steps from the Na'vi behind her sounding like thunder in her ears.
Awa didn't answer the female Na'vi, she was shaking with fear and sweat was building in her forehead. She didn't want to think about what they would do if they found her, she got lucky with Tsu'tey.
"You were the one that got into a fight with Tsu'tey?" The voice asked in a humorous tone that told Awa that the Na'vi behind her already knew who she was. "There's a special ceremony today so almost all of us in the ceremonial hall. You picked a good day to get your ass kicked."
Awa was still froze, it felt like the walls were closing in on her as the Na'vi moved even closer and then started walking in front of her. She couldn't move, her feet were stuck to the floor and her heart was racing at such a speed it was painful. "I-I" was all she managed to stutter out and even then her voice failed her.
"Don't worry, Awa, I won't tell if you don't" The female told the human, glancing back at her with a grin on her purple painted lips.
The Na'vi woman had small strands of whites and greys peeking out from the mess that was her hair, the only neat part of her hair was the tswin. She was the darkest shade of blue that Awa had seen in a Na'vi with some really light blue blotches across the arms and chest. She had a thin bone pierced through the bridge of her nose and a petite necklace with one one feather on it: a vibrant pink with strands of green in it.
"O-okay" Awa responded and gently began walking behind the Na'vi before her. Just the sight of her had pushed away all courage she had when dealing with people like Tsu'tey or Quaritch and reduced her to the stuttering mess she was in the beginning of meeting Grace. Men were no problems, it's women she was scared of. "What's your name?"
"Ngeha te Txanu Nu'itan" The Na'vi responded with a slight grin to try and put the human woman at ease. She understood her fear and cautiousness, if anyone other than her found her she would have been long dead. Humans weren't allowed here, and the only reason she was allowed in her Na'vi form was because Atxa insisted on it. "You're Awa, the one with the visions"
"Yeah, I'm Awa, the one with the visions. Visions that I've only had once, and have no idea if it was a one time thing or if it's gonna happen again" Awa trailed off with a frown on her face as she vented to this Ngeha she had just met.
"Sounds like you've got a lot on your chest" Ngeha noted with a slight humorous tone to her voice, before she sobered up. "But now isn't the time or place for it. Your body is just through here, I can give you five minutes but that's all."
"Thank you so much!" Awa exclaimed with eyes like saucers and mouth open in a silent squeal. "five minutes and then I'm gone."
"I'll be waiting here, do you need help getting back?" Ngeha asked Awa with hands placed on her hips and a raised eyebrow.
"I'll be fine" Awa murmured after stepping into the room holding her body. Her Na'vi body laid motionless on a table made of a dark wood and green vines twisting around it. Her eyes were closed peacefully, but her face had big swollen bruises on them, and a split lip. Awa winced and reached up to touch her own lip, she still couldn't believe she challenged him.
"Are you sure? It looks like the journey here took a lot out of you, darling, don't think you can make it back." Ngeha interrupted her observation, her voice low and slightly sceptical. "Besides you can't be seen by any of clan members, so it would be better for both of us if I brought you back myself."
Awa nodded with a grateful smile before Ngeha turned around and walked out of the small room. The human walked closer to where her body was, she was covered in bruises of a multitude of colors and sizes, swollen bumps, and angry red wounds that looked to have just begun healing. Her legs and stomach looked the worse, she could barely see any of her natural shade of blue and cyan through the dark bruises and bumps that covered her legs.
Tears welled up in her face as she fell to her knees. How could she be so reckless with her body after just getting it, she spent all those years dreaming of getting here and as soon as she does she starts a fight with one of the higher ups in the very clan she's being trained in, and she hurts her body. She had never seen a body that injured before, she just hoped no bones were broken. A sob wrenched it way up her throat and out of her mouth, why was she doing this? Nothing was going right. It all seemed so pointless. She thought she was ready and she had this vision in her head that Pandora would welcome her home like it was her home, and that the Na'vi would love her and that she'd be part of the people. So far she's only hurt herself, her Na'vi body, worsened her chances of being accepted by the clan and made a lot of enemies. She couldn't do anything right.
She fell to the floor as her body was once again enveloped in sobs that shook her entire body and tears fell like rivers down her tired face. She was just so tired. Suddenly warm arms wrapped around her like protective vines, enveloping her sobbing form into a cloud of love and heat. She hadn't had anyone holding her like this since before her parents died, Atxa had held her but it wasn't the same. It wasn't this motherly hold that she was currently in, and he didn't purr at her like Ngeha did, or whisper sweet nothings in her ear that made her sobs turn into sniffles and rivers of salt turn into lonely tears dripping from her red eyes. She started sobbing again but this time it was more because she finally felt safe again, she felt like nothing could hurt her as long as she stayed in these loving arms.
"It's all going to be okay, I promise" Ngeha whispered in that low, slightly husky tone that was so uniquely her.
"I keep fucking up" Awa shook her head and spoke through her tears, her voice coming out thick and full of hopelessness. "When I came to Pandora I thought it was all going to be okay"
"Everything is going to be okay, you just need to fight a little longer to get to your paradise. Leave your past behind and only look forward. Don't look back, Awa, you're not going that way." Ngeha soothes her and stroked a finger through her hair, careful not to get caught in one of the many tangles. "This is just a bump in the road, you knew it wasn't going to be easy."
"It all feels so dark and lonely" Awa whimpered and pushed herself closer to the Na'vi that was holding her. "I know there's so much hate between our species-"
"But you made up this fantasy world where we welcome you home with open arms? That we would just forget what your species has done to us and just immediately love you?" Ngeha finished with a knowing look. "We both know that's not possible. How would we know that you're different from them if you don't prove yourself. Even in our culture you need to prove yourself. These things take time, time and effort. It's going to be hard, it's going to be scary, I won't lie to you. Trust and loyalty is built over time, but I know you can make it and it will all be worth it in the end and all these bumps, setbacks and pain is going to make you stronger."
Awa sniffled a few more times before she grinned slightly at the Na'vi. "And Tsu'tey?"
"Ah, the young warrior. He's captured your interest, I can see that." Ngeha answered with a knowing smirk, letting Awa know that she's hiding something from her. "He will be difficult and probably your biggest obstacle but it is just that, an obstacle to climb over. Deep down he's the most loyal, kind and loving person I know. The humans have hurt us all, soured our hearts and brought out a hate we didn't know we could feel. He is no different from that. Now I will say no more about that, you'll have to talk to him if you want to know more. Now on your feet, we need to leave"
Awa giggled and beamed up at the female that comforted her and set her head right again. She hadn't had any time to actually work through everything that was happening and it had all bottled up. The world seemed like such a dark place without hope until Ngeha came and showed her back to the light."Thanks, I needed that"
"I know you did"