Four

Amanda smiled as both of her girls knocked on the front door impatiently. It was opened promptly by Lucy, who greeted them with a big smile. The girls immediately ran inside and joined Noah in front of the TV, where the movie Inside Out was playing.

"She's in her room," said Lucy as she shut the door. "Why don't you join her? I think she could use some encouragement to get her out the door."

Amanda nodded and returned the smile. Lucy knew her boss well, just as Amanda did. She made her way down the hallway towards Olivia's bedroom. The door was shut, and she knocked. "Liv? Can I come in?"

She heard a muffled curse before Olivia called, "Yeah, Amanda, come in." Amanda opened the door and slipped inside, closing the door quickly behind her. Olivia was standing by her dresser, struggling to put on a delicate gold bracelet.

"Here, I'll get that for you," said Amanda, walking over to her Captain and taking over.

"Thanks, Amanda," sighed Olivia.

Amanda's fingers made quick work of the bracelet, and then she took a step back to look at Olivia. "Damn, Cap," she said with a grin. "You lookin' to get lucky tonight?"

Olivia smacked her bicep with an eye roll, but the corners of her lips couldn't help but turn up at the compliment. Olivia did indeed look beautiful. She wore a black, floor-length gown with long sleeves and a modest V-neckline. The black fabric sparkled in a subtle way, and the cut of the dress flattered Olivia's figure perfectly. Her hair was down, loosely curled and looking full and healthy. Her make-up was just enough to bring out her substantial natural beauty. For jewelry, Olivia wore a modest pair of diamond studs, her favorite "fearless" necklace, and the afore mentioned gold bracelet, which Olivia knew was a birthday present from Noah (with some help from her, Fin and Carisi).

"And if you want to call someone a knock-out, Amanda, look in the mirror," said Olivia, gesturing to her detective. "You look beautiful."

Amanda grinned. She herself wore a long gown of soft silver, with capped sleeves and a slit up the side that was just high enough to be flattering and not desperate. "Thanks."

"Makes me wonder if you're the one who really wants to get laid tonight…or at least kissed by a certain ADA we both know."

Olivia's tease was gentle, and she smiled at the blush that creeped into Amanda's cheeks before her detective cleared her throat and replied, "Well, I wanted to look good on that little dais when I make my speech."

This sobered Olivia's expression as she took a step closer to the blonde woman. "Amanda…you really don't have to do this."

"I want to do this, Captain."

"But you hate public speaking as much as I do."

"True, but you deserve this, and that's worth it. I wouldn't be half the woman I am today if I never knew you. This is your night, and I'm honored to be a part of it." She reached out and squeezed Olivia's hands. "Take a deep breath and enjoy this. It'll be a great night."

Olivia followed her advice about the deep breath and nodded, trying to reassure herself. "I hope so."

With Manhattan traffic, it took Elliot and Kathy about a half an hour to get to the hotel where the ceremony was being held. Elliot pulled up to the front, where a valet was waiting. Elliot handed his keys to the man after both got out of the car, and together they walked into the hotel. A sign in the lobby indicated that Olivia's ceremony was on the seventeenth floor, so they walked to the elevators.

During the elevator ride up, Kathy could hear Elliot controlling his breathing, deeply in and out as if he were gearing up for a race. She reached over and took his hand, and he held onto it tightly. The elevator pinged and the doors opened. Awaiting them was another sign pointing in the direction of the ceremony. In the next minute, they were walking hand-in-hand into the large space where the event was being held.

It was fairly crowded, full of small groups of people chatting amongst themselves. All wore formalwear and most were standing around tall, circular tables with drinks and appetizers. Elliot and Kathy stood just within the entrance for a minute, looking around, not sure where to go or what to do.

However, that question was solved when a familiar voice coming from a familiar figure approached them.

"As I live and breathe, the prodigal son returns!"

Approaching them was the older, wearier, but unmistakable figure of John Munch. Kathy had only met him a handful of times, but like Fin, he was impossible to forget. She felt Elliot both clench and unclench beside her, if that were possible. Kathy realized that this was a night for Elliot to reunite not only with Olivia, but who knows how many other people he had worked with and then walked away from. She squeezed his hand reassuringly before he let it go to shake his old colleague's.

"Munch," said Elliot, and he looked and sounded genuinely happy to see him as they shook hands. Munch, in turn, looked more pleasantly surprised than anything. "I would've thought this last year would have turned you into the complete recluse you've always dreamed of being."

Munch laughed before he sobered. "Very nearly, but there are some things worth risking a few viruses for." He pinned Elliot with a piercing look. "Clearly, you had the same idea. And about time, too."

Before Elliot could respond, they were joined by two more familiar people they both recognized immediately: Fin Tutuola and Don Cragen.

"Elliot!" Cragen softly exclaimed, clasping Elliot's hand in both of his. "It's good to see you again."

Simple words that were said by many, but Don Cragen put a decade's worth of feeling behind them. Elliot said, "Same here, Cap," with a look and a voice that matched that depth of feeling, and Kathy averted her gaze. Cragen had always been a good boss and support for Elliot. Because the shadow of Olivia had loomed so large, it had been easy to forget the others that Elliot had cut from his life. Don Cragen must be the next in line behind Olivia that Elliot regretted letting go.

Fin shook Elliot's hand next. "Glad you showed up, man."

"Glad you told me about this, Fin," replied Elliot.

The group of five all fell into catching up after that, and both Stablers relaxed somewhat now that they were discussing safe topics. Elliot and Kathy told them how they had come to live in Rome and about their life there. They learned when Munch and Cragen had retired, and their new lives now.

Fin remained the quietest until he enlisted Elliot to help him get drinks for everyone. Sensing the sergeant wanted a private word, Elliot didn't object and neither did Kathy. Munch and Cragen were eager to know how her children were doing, and she could talk about them for days.

"You won't find her."

Elliot blinked and looked back at Fin. Both were standing at the bar, waiting for their drinks order. Fin had clocked Elliot looking not-so-subtlely around the event space. "Huh?"

"She'll come out in a few minutes," said Fin. "When it's time for her to receive the award and give her speech."

He nodded towards the dais, where a podium was set up. Elliot winced. "How much is Liv hating this?"

"You should know from speaking to her," said Fin, turning a sharp gaze to him. Elliot's face blanching to the color of eggnog was all Fin needed to see to learn what he had begun to suspect. "Stabler, you rat ba –"

"I know, I know," Elliot pleaded, running a hand over his face. "I tried, I don't know how many times. But it didn't feel right over the phone. I went to her old apartment building, but she's not there anymore."

"Yeah, she moved out of that place eight years ago," said Fin in a more somber tone than Elliot expected, but he pinned that to Fin being rightfully pissed at him. "And now, you're going to catch her completely by surprise when you know how much she hates surprises."

At that moment, the bartender placed the drinks in front of them, and the two men collected them. As they walked back towards Kathy, Munch and Cragen, Elliot softly pleaded. "Look, Fin, I know I've gone about this all wrong. For ten years, I've let her down. But I want to do better – be better – for Liv. That's why I'm here tonight."

"And after tonight? How soon are you going back to Rome? Are you going to go back to pretending she doesn't exist and use the distance as the perfect excuse? Because if you do, my threat still stands. You'll meet people here tonight who will not only go through with that threat, but further."

Elliot had no chance to respond for they had reunited with the other three of their group. They gathered at one of the tall, round tables so they could set their drinks down and be a bit more comfortable. No sooner had they done that though than a change came over the crowd and a small smattering of applause started.

Elliot, Kathy and his old squad looked towards the dais. A blonde woman in a soft, silver gown came onto the dais from behind a curtain and stopped at the podium.

"Good evening, everybody, and thank you so much for coming," the blond woman said with a smile, her voice holding the tint of a Southern accent. "As most of you know, I am Detective Amanda Rollins with Manhattan SVU. I'm not much for speeches, and I'm not the reason we're all here, so I'll try to be brief."

Another smattering of applause, which Amanda Rollins waved away. Kathy looked at Elliot, but he looked just as curious as she did, so she must have joined the squad after his departure.

"Moving from small town Georgia to big city New York was nothing compared to the culture shock I experienced when I joined the Manhattan SVU team in the early fall of 2011. No one can truly be ready for the work we do, day in and day out. I struggled my first few years a fair amount. But a big part of what got me through it was Olivia Benson."

So, she joined the squad right after Elliot left…I wonder if she became her new partner, wondered Kathy. Sneaking a glance at Elliot, Kathy could see he was wondering the same thing.

"Doing this work, day in and day out, it would be so easy to just sink into despair and stop seeing the good in the world, to stop believing in it, even. But every time my mind went down that path, Olivia would gently pull me back and help me look at the light as well as the shadows. She did this both directly and indirectly, through her words and by her example. Our relationship has had its rough patches – mostly caused by me not being as good and wise as she is – but now I can safely say that I hold her among my dearest friends.

"I've watched her rise the ranks from detective to sergeant to lieutenant and finally captain. I've seen her overcome things no one should ever have to and come out even more strong than she already is. I've watched her become a mother, and she's watched me become one, too."

Kathy more felt than heard the gasp that escaped from Elliot, for she let one out herself. A mother…Olivia is a mother…Kathy's heart filled with warmth and happiness for Olivia had almost brought tears to her eyes. Her husband looked just as close to tears as she felt.

"Now, this award tonight, I think we all know that there is no more deserving woman than Liv. In a field that's been so masculine for centuries, she stands as proof positive that this is a field where a woman can not only work, but thrive. And Olivia Benson thrives because of her unbreakable strength, her unyielding moral compass, and her limitless capacity for empathy and justice.

"It is my honor and privilege to bring out the woman of the night, the very best of us, Captain Olivia Benson."

The crowd burst into applause, including Elliot and Kathy, as Amanda Rollins stepped away from the podium and turned to the curtain where she had come out of. It fluttered, moved…and then there she was.

Out came Olivia Benson, in the flesh, and looking like she belonged on Wonder Woman's island. She was smiling modestly, embarrassment clear on her features, but she walked straight and tall. She bore herself differently than ten years ago; this was truly a leader in front of them all. Her black gown sparkled softly, her hair was long and loosely curled, her skinned almost glowed. When she came to Amanda, she hugged the blonde woman close before going to the podium herself.

It took a good minute before the crowd settled down. Kathy clapped as fiercely as the rest of them, and was relieved to feel none of the terror she expected to feel upon seeing Olivia Benson again in the flesh. She was caught up in Rollins' heartfelt speech, her own memories of that strong woman in her mind, and seeing how far she had come filled Kathy with pride.

"Alright, please, settle down, I'll embarrass myself," said Olivia through shaking laughter, urging the crowd to calm with her hands. Her voice was just as Kathy remembered, it, just richer with age and experience.

Kathy could not ignore the urge that had been pulling at her neck since Olivia stepped into view anymore. She turned her head to look at her husband.

And that was it. In her core, in her heart, seeing Elliot and the way he was looking at Olivia, now that he had seen her and heard her voice…Kathy knew it was over.

Olivia gave a speech that was modesty and humility itself, insisting that she was only a helper to the survivors, who were the true heroes. How she only tried to work and live by example for her son and her squad, to see justice done and healing begun.

It was in the middle of a sentence about how the fight for justice must never end that Olivia's speech faltered. She seemed to freeze as her eyes, which had been wandering over the crowd, found Elliot's. She only froze for a moment, and then pulled herself together and continued the speech to its conclusion without another hiccough.

But that moment was enough for Kathy to see what she needed to see. Even with the distance, the crowd between them, and the fact that the moment only lasted for a second, it was crystal clear to Kathy. The veil had dropped from Olivia when she laid eyes on Elliot for the first time in ten years. Any doubts that Kathy had over her husband's promises that he'd been in no contact with her for a decade disappeared. The utter shock in Olivia's eyes was proof of that. In that shock, Kathy also saw the briefest spark of joy immediately followed by anger. The hurt was expressed more in the way Olivia pulled herself together immediately, the veil being replaced by a wall, and the way her eyes never went near them again for the rest of her speech.

But Elliot's eyes, and his expression of pure pride, sorrow, joy and guilt, never wavered. And Kathy knew that those eyes – and Elliot himself – would never leave Olivia again.