A/N: All right, that's seven, but I was on a camping trip, so I didn't have time to finish this chapter, so I'm sorry it took so long.
Ghosts of Her Past—Chapter Three—The Land of What-Might-Have-Been"Something was missing."
Glinda stared at Gabrielle with hollow eyes. Her gaze rested on the yearbook without really seeing it. Long-buried memories resurfaced themselves. Elphaba's laughter rang in her ears. Tears left her eyes without her noticing. Oh, Elphie, forgive me for telling. I had to. Please understand. Please.
"Glinda, I really should be going, it's almost lunchtime, and I have to feed my Cat." Glinda snapped back to reality.
"Oh, all right. You may—wait, did you say you had a Cat?" Glinda was confused.
"Yes, I have her food in my pocket, I had to pick some up." She showed her.
"Oh… you can go." The haunted look—that had disappeared when she was talking about Elphaba—returned to Glinda's eyes.
"Do you want me to stay?" Gabrielle almost hated to ask.
Glinda didn't answer, but her eyes showed that she wanted to.
"Okay, I'll stay. But, could someone take this to my house?"
"Go ask the maid at the door," Glinda said almost mechanically.
(Gabrielle's POV)
"Okay." Gabrielle walked out into the hall, and back the way she came to the front door. "Um… excuse me? Glinda wanted me to stay, but I need to feed my Cat, could you have someone take this to her?" She held out a small bag.
"Sure, I'll have a lunch for you sent up with Glinda's." the maid replied.
"All right." Gabrielle turned and went back to Glinda's room.
Inside, she could hear the sound of Glinda crying, and almost silent moans of "Elphie" or "Why did you have to go?" She knocked and entered when Glinda answered.
(Glinda's POV again, starting a few seconds earlier)
Glinda hastily wiped her eyes when she heard Gabrielle's knock.
"Come in."
Gabrielle walked in tentatively, as if she didn't want to interrupt.
"Um… Glinda? I realized that I never told you my name," Gabrielle said awkwardly. "It's Gabrielle."
Gabrielle. The name stuck an odd chord in Glinda's mind. It reminded her of something…but what? Was it in a dream? Or a dream of a dream?
"Nice to meet you, Gabrielle," Glinda said, and she slowly extended a wrinkled hand to shake. And just like that, Glinda felt she could trust Gabrielle. She'd connected with someone else—a hard feat since Elphaba died.
Gabrielle stared into Glinda's eyes and saw happiness and… betrayal? She was again struck with the thought that Glinda hadn't told her something.
"Glinda, is-is there anything you need to say? Anything at all? I can assure you that it would never leave this room."
Could she handle that truth? Could I handle the effort of telling it? Would Elphaba have wanted it told? Glinda's thoughts swirled in the black abyss that was her troubled mind.
"I-I can't." Can I? "I r-really can't." Elphie wouldn't want it, would she? Elphie… Elphie come back to me. Please, I need your opinions, your sarcasm, your intelligence, your individuality, your seriousness. I'm nothing without you. Nothing but a lost frilly, bubbly social icon gone mad. But… am I crazy? Or are the ozians the crazy ones? Is it my fault that the only other person to know the truth is a teenager that I barely know? Is it their fault that the Wizard lied? The Wizard everything comes back to that day with the Wizard. Everything. "That stupid man had to come here! Everything that went wrong was because of him! The Animals were almost extinct because of him!" When Glinda saw the blank, confused look on Gabrielle's face, she added, "Gabrielle, can you imagine a world where Animals don't speak? People discriminated the Animals because the Wizard came from a world like that. He tried to turn Oz into a… into a Kansas!" Glinda's shriek was heard down the hallway to where the eavesdropping maids stood.
"Glinda, the Wizard was wrong," Gabrielle tried to sooth. "Why didn't people see that? I was too young when he left to see the full extent of things. I was only three! I couldn't understand politics fully until I took political sciences at Shiz." Glinda's eyes widened at the mention of her old school. "It was when I was there that I saw the wrongs of what the Wizard had done. It was when I was there that I questioned the nature of Wickedness. You became my idol. But, I attended your speeches, and I saw… nothing. You were just an icon. An icon of Goodness. I did the research, and you were proclaimed Good without much reason. I'm not saying that you aren't Good, just that there was no reason given. After that, you were Good, but… I don't know. There was just… something. I shared your pain when you gave up. I didn't understand it fully until I saw the yearbook. That changed my views completely. I thought it through over and over and over again. Nothing seemed to fit… until I found a written copy of your speech the day of Elphaba's death. An ozian asked if she was your friend, but you said yes, but it was more like, 'our paths did cross, at school, but we were both very young…'"
Glinda was speechless. She'd figured it out. She'd actually figured it out. And I planted the seeds that bloomed into the truth. Glinda sighed.
"You-You've done what nobody even tried." Tears slid down Glinda's face again. "Not even my classmates cared why Elphie left. They knew her, but didn't question their former Headmistress. None of them… maybe Fiyero did. I didn't really know him. Not as well as I should have. He was just the airhead pretty boy prince from the Vinkus. Just like I was the airhead from the Uplands." Her voice dropped to barely more than a whisper. "Nobody cared. At all. The only person to really know me is dead. She died because she stood up for what she believed in. She did what was right. And when she asked me to go with her, to help, I said no. I couldn't handle that much of a life-changing situation. I didn't go with her. Instead, I worked for the Wizard. I was the opposite of her. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I was so ashamed when I ran into Elphaba again. It wasn't the best of meetings. She stole Fiyero from me. I didn't know what to do. The next meeting was, again, not very good. She was mad at me for giving Dorothy Nessa's shoes. I was mad at her for Fiyero. We actually got into a fight! I mean, I charged at her with my wand—her with her broom, of course—and we beat each other senseless. Until the guards showed up…" she trailed off, lost in memories.
"Lady Glinda! I've got yours and your guest's lunch!" the maid's voice rang out.
Glinda nodded to Gabrielle to get it. She opened the door and accepted the tray (a little over-enthusiastically) and set it on Glinda's desk. She pulled the lid off one of the plates and started eating. Glinda took hers, but mostly just stared at it. Gabrielle was concerned, she didn't think Glinda'd eaten much breakfast, either.
Glinda took a few bites with much effort. She abandoned her sandwich and stared out the window until Gabrielle finished. They said little, and neither wanted to break the silence. Finally, Gabrielle said, "Glinda, are you sure you can't tell the ozians? At all?"
Would that really work? Could I really tell them? But, would they believe me? Me, the supposed crazy social icon. No, they wouldn't. Or couldn't… Would they?
"I-I… I don't know," she managed. "I really don't know." Do I?
"Okay." Is she too quick to agree with me? Am I too quick in my decisions? Yes, I am. If I'd thought through Elphaba's plan, maybe I would've gone with her. Maybe I wouldn't have given Nessa's shoes to Dorothy until Elphaba got there. Maybe everything would've turned out okay. Maybe.
NO! I'm doing it again! Don't go to the land of 'What-Might-Have-Been'! Stay in Oz. Stay in reality. Stay focused. Don't do this again. Not again. Not again…
A/N: Okay, shorter chapter, I know, but I wanted to get it finished. I started this on Sunday, but we left for camp Monday. So, I tried to finish this yesterday, but I got stuck. So, please review this bad chapter, I promise that the next one will be better!