Awa's legs shook with fervor, it felt like they were going to burst as she took slow steps across the destroyed ground where the powerful beast had plowed through just an hour ago. Her eyes were still wide with fear and bloodshot. That had been closer than she would have liked, way too close. Atxa was lucky to still be alive, to have survived the attack of a beast of that caliber and walk away with minor injuries.
Crimson red dripped down her arm in thick, red pearls and formed little rivers that clashed against the blue of her skin. It had nicked her when it grabbed Atxa, slicing its claws through her skin like one would butter. She hadn't even noticed it until the adrenaline cooled down and a pulsing ache began in her arm. She too had survived an attack by the fearsome palulukan, but not as Atxa had. Sure she had been the one to rescue him, but she was also the reason he had to be rescued.
She pressed her other hand against the pulsing wound and hissed at the sharp sting it let out when her dirty hand came into contact with the fresh wound. Tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Her mouth was dry and her body cold and shaking. Awa raised her head and catched the hard eyes of Tsu'tey.
"Tsu'tey" She whispered, her voice calling him to her but too tired to put any power behind her words. Awa stumbled towards him even though his eyes frowned down on her with that same hatred still swirling in his eyes. "I didn't mean to"
"Mean to do what, demon?" He asked with a deep scowl on his face that made him seem much older than he actually was. His posture was tense and knuckles clenched so tightly together they turned a very light blue. His brows were furrowed tightly and his shoulders squared and tense.
"Make Atxa get hurt" Awa answered with a lone tear falling from her eye and running down her cheek. Her voice shook and trembled with suppressed sorrow and sobbs. A hand came to rest above her heart where she clenched it into a fist.
"What did you do?" He snarled, his eyes unforgiving and angry. Tsu'tey took a step forward but then stopped himself from walking closer to her, the strain of the restraint showing on his face. " . ?!"
The dreamwalker flinched backwards and a shaky sob came from her. "I don't know what happened. One second we're running from the palulukan and then, and then" She shook her head and tears starting rushing down her cheeks like waterfalls. "then I don't know what happened, I just felt this need to rush to her. I don't know why"
Tsu'tey hissed at her with his mouth slightly open, showing his elongated canines. "This is why bugs like you are not allowed here. All you do is hurt, all you do is kill, you are worthless. You will never be one of the people!"
Awa stumbled back as if the words hit her right in the face. Hurt soared through her body like fire, burning through each of her limbs and lighting it on fire. She choked up before she laid her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries. "I didn't mean to! I helped him! I killed the palulukan to save him!" She screamed at the Na'vi while slightly crouching down, her ears laid flat against her head, her tail stood ramstraight behind her and her face were screwed up in hurt.
"'I didn't mean to'" He mocked and then snarled at her before pushing the arm he held the bow in up in the air. He dropped it back down but his posture was anything but calm and relaxed. His jaw was clenched so tightly it almost looked like he was going to crack his teeth. "I do not care for your excuses! They are worthless. You did this! .this!"
She shook her head with the heavy weight of her guilt weighing down her shoulders. "You don't think I know that? I'm aware that I did this, believe me I'm more than aware. But that doesn't change the fact that this wasn't what I meant to happen. I never wanted to get attacked by the palulukan, and I never wanted him to take the hurt for me!" Awa gestured wildly with her arms, as if trying to get her point across better, but Tsu'tey was having none of it.
"You are lucky he will not die from this. If he did I would hunt you down and kill you myself. Slowly and painfully." He answered, his eyes glowing with the promise and a smirk grew on his face when he saw the fear on her face and her body that was practically shaking. Tsu'tey then firmly turned around and walked away, away from her.
He doesn't mean that, she tried telling herself. He's just angry and hurt, she added but her heart still broke. The tears were running down her face nonstop and her heart clenched painfully with each beat. The guilt was eating her up inside, and Tsu'tey's words only sprayed salt in her bleeding wounds. She thought they had something, that he was finally growing to accept her, if even slightly.
A few days later and Atxa had been patched up and was already up and running as usual. Awa on the other hand was not as upbeat as Atxa was, the guilt of what happened weighed heavy on her conscience and didn't seem to let up. Didn't help that each time she saw Tsu'tey she was reminded of his words, and they affected her a lot. Words from an individual had never affected her as much as the ones that came from Tsu'tey did.
"Are you listening to me? Awa?" Ngeha snapped waved her hand in front of Awa's face when the avatar zoned out for what was probably the 100th time that day. There was a vacant look in the human's eyes and a heaviness to her walk that hadn't been there before. No one blamed her for what happened, not even Tsu'tey who had confided in Ngeha that he had overreacted.
"Oh, yeah, sorry" She responded with a sheepish half smile on her face. "I got distracted"
"As I was saying, this is how you make tsaheylu. The bond" Ngeha clarified and motioned to the two neural whips on the big pa'li in front of them.
The creature was panting softly and stomped its hooves impatiently while staring at the two females. It had just finished eating the nectar from a couple of flowers below it and was now waiting for them to tell it what to do next.
"You connect your tswin to their and then mount it gently. For you I recommend mounting first and then tsaheylu, might make it easier for you not to startle her." Ngeha advised Awa with a thoughtful frown on her face as she looked between the avatar and the horse-like animal. She had one hand placed on her cocked hip and the other hanging limply by her side.
Awa sighed frustrated through her nose. "I know, I've studied all of this before"
Ngeha hissed at her and then slapped her right over the head, making sure to catch her sensitive ears in with the slap. Her eyes flashed dangerously at the avatar in front of her. "You say you want to learn but your mind is closed. You have not studied from us, you know nothing. Until you want to learn from us I can't teach you."
The avatar winced and rubbed her sore head, sporting a pout on her face. " I'm sorry. Continue" She realised in that moment how ignorant she had sounded, she got the chance to learn from Ngeha herself and she spat the Na'vi right in the face when she tried to do so. "I'm working on my attitude as well."
The Na'vi stared down her nose at her and then nodded once, accepting the apology but she had a bit of skepticism in her eyes that lingered. "Mount her, and then make tsaheylu. This lesson will only be about learning to ride a pa'li."
Awa nodded and walked forward to the animal with slow steps as to not frighten the gentle giant. She hushed it slightly when it flinched when she reached up to pet its flank. Awa hummed for it, the sound vibrating in the front part of her mouth. She reached up and placed a hand on the back of its mane and gripped it lightly before placing her other hand slightly to the other side of its back. She stroked the skin there and then jumped up on the back of the animal but quickly fell back down again and into the dirt. She sputtered and then forced herself up on her feet again with a determined scowl on her face.
It took about five times of her falling on her behind before she managed to sit up straight on the animal in the correct position. It made a soft whinny when she first sat down properly but calmed down as soon as she stroked a hand down the neck of the animal. Awa reached back for her tswin, gently grabbed it and then brought it to rest next to the neural whips. "So now I just connect them?"
At Ngeha's nod she grabbed both her tswin and the right neural whip and carefully brought them together. She took a deep breath before she pushed them together, making the tendrils entwin and form a bond between the two. Awa's eyes closed as she felt a rush and then a glowing connection that warmed her. She could feel the pa'li's breath on her legs, the muscles tensing and relaxing, and so much more.
"Look over there" Ngeha urged her and she turned her head around to see what the Na'vi was pointing at. It was two Na'vi walking together, one holding a bouquet of colorful flowers and the other holding a bow in his hand. The female Na'vi had several armrings, high-ranked clothing made from the best fabrics and a nice necklace. The male had an armring, good quality loincloth and a piece of clothing covering the upper parts of his ribs.
"Who are they?" Awa asked stunned.
"It's my son and his betrothed, Neytiri." Ngeha replied with a big, proud smile on her face that spoke wonders of how much she loved her child. "They're going to be the future leaders of this clan. He's a strong leader, already showing much promise, and she shows great courage and instincts."
Awa nodded and stared after the couple even after they walked out of her sight. She would be lying if the pair didn't intimidate her, though not as much as Tsu'tey did. Not even close to Tsu'tey, but still intimidating. "I see" She managed to whisper out after a while.
"Atxa was the one who taught him, he's very proud. You will be his last student, you couldn't have gotten a better trainer so I suggest you make the most of it." Ngeha advised but there was a bite in her voice that didn't go unnoticed by Awa.
The avatar shifted in her seat and then turned around to face her teacher's mate. "You have no idea how much I appreciate what Atxa is doing for me. My gratefulness to him is beyond anything else. I thank Eywa for him everyday"
"Good. Now ask her to walk forward. Slowly!" Ngeha cried out when Awa and the pa'li sped away from the Na'vi and out into the field they were standing in.
Awa whooped as the two soared through the tall grass with her hands straight up into the air. The strong legs of the pa'li thundered the earth below them and grunted softly every now and again. She could feel through their bond that the pa'li was enjoying the run, and that it felt good to let out all that energy it had been storing for awhile. "Now slow down, we don't want to worry Ngeha too much or she'll hit me again."
A loud scream etched itself out of her when the animal came to an abrupt halt and in the process made Awa fall off and hit the ground hard. She landed on the ground with a heavy thud that she felt throughout her entire body and hurt her ribs. Awa pushed herself to her knees and winced at the scrapes she had gotten on her knees and palms.
"I told you to take it slow, you stupid girl!" Ngeha's voice told her and then Awa felt the Na'vi's gentle hands lifting her to her feet again. Ngeha brushed off some of the dirt Awa had gotten on her back and legs but let the rest of it sit there, as somewhat of a punishment for not listening. "I thought you told me you studied the pa'li and was an expert."
"I guess I overestimated myself, again." She muttered the last time bitterly, her mind snapping right back to the multiple times she had humiliated herself since starting her training. It was the fight with Tsu'tey, lots of mistakes with Atxa, things she wouldn't remember until it kept her awake at night, and now this.
"You did well, not many make it that far." The Na'vi complimented Awa with the beginning of a grin on her face and a glimpse of pride in her eyes that Awa leached onto.
"Thanks, didn't think she would run that fast. Guess I was unclear in my thoughts." Awa said and scratched her hair in thought. All her hours in simulation meant nothing in the real world, all those things she had mastered in simulation she hadn't even tried in real life. She had never experienced tsaheylu before today and all that training had made her cocky and next thing she knows she's lying on the ground covered in dirt.
"Having an unclear mind is never a good thing." Ngeha shot back wisely with amusement in her eyes. "You should find out what's making you unfocused and deal with it. Or him." The Na'vi murmured under her breath and Awa only smiled at her, having not heard the last comment the Na'vi made.