Awa turned around at the sudden silence that fell over the Omaticaya clan. Her eyes widened almost comically when she saw the figure walking towards her. Her bow fell to the ground with a harsh clank and her jaw dropped.
Grace walked out of the forest with shy steps, just barely gracing the ground before she moved on. The scientist was wearing her normal outfit when in Avatar form and her hair was braided the same way as always; all of the hair in one big braid except for a few of them that were braided into smaller parts, decorated with red pearls and framing her face. She had a beaming smile on her face and that sparkle that Awa had only seen in pictures was back in her eyes, which lit up her entire face.
"Grace" Awa forced out, her voice hoarse and throaty. Her limbs were frozen, her feet refused to move and her chest tightened. She never thought she would get to see the day that Grace was allowed back in the clan. She was ashamed to admit that she had only asked the Olo'eytukan once and never brought it up with anyone except for Tsu'tey again.
Grace laughed, a real belly laugh that was bordering hysterical. "Jake asked them to let me back in. It's amazing, isn't it?" She answered Awa's unspoken question and shook her head after finishing her sentence. "I can't believe I'm back here"
Awa slowly took a step forward, her breath still stuck in her throat while staring at the scientist. "I-, I never thought they would allow you back here"
The dreamwalker laughed and threw her arms around the former human, squeezing her tightly and even shaking her a little. "Neither did I. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go see some old students" Grace winked at Eywa and walked, no skipped, over to where a bunch of Na'vi children stared at her with wide eyes. The children kept on staring at her the closer she got and as soon as Grace fell on her knees they were onto her, touching her hair and bombarding her with questions.
Awa looked at the scene fondly before a warmth enveloped her right hand. The familiar hold that belonged to her mate tugged at her gently and she followed the movement without tearing her eyes off Grace and the children.
Her eyes flashed over to Tsu'tey when he snarled and the hold on her hand tightened almost painfully. "What is it?" Awa asked him, concern seeping into her voice.
"Come. I'll explain later" He replied through clenched teeth and a deep frown on his face that had a hint of pain on it. Awa's eyes flickered around his face and her eyes widened slightly when she realised what was wrong. The anger mixed with old, but never forgotten, trauma and the wince of his lips told her all she needed to know.
The two sat down on a branch high up in a tree after Tsu'tey practically had to drag her up there. Awa had never been a climber, never learnt how to do if good even after all the training she and Atxa went through. She still felt bad for being such a bad student but still felt proud over how much she learned in such a short amount of time.
"Want to tell me what all that was about? I know you don't like humans but that was a bit extra, even for you" She gave him a pointed look and rubbed her ribs as if remembering their first meeting. Tsu'tey winced and shuffled when he noticed her actions, his heart clenching painfully at the memory.
"Seeing her reminded me of things." He vaguely answered and stared right forward, making sure that not one part of him touched her. "Of the school and the past."
Awa's hands twitched in an urge to touch him but she reigned herself in. Instead she opted to just stare at him and try to read all the facial cues tp learn what he wasn't telling her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
For the first time since the two had left the hometree he looked at her. His eyes pierced into hers, telling her more than his words ever could. Without hesitating he connects their tswins and sighs in both relief and displeasure. "I'd rather show you." Tsu'tey told her and pleaded her with his eyes, his voice cracked slightly.
"Y-yes" Awa responded in shock at the emotional state he was in. She could count the number of times he had been this vulnerable with her on her fingers and toes. Awa nodded her consent and closed her eyes before clearing her mind so that he would have an easier time showing her his memories.
A flash of white blinded her even though her eyes weres till closed and when she opened them she wasn't sitting in the tree with Tsu'tey anymore. Awa was standing besides a group of young Na'vi children, most of them young enough to only wear loincloths but a few of the older girls had a fabric that covered their chests. There was one girl who wore a cover in a vibrant green with pink spottings. She also had big feathers braided into her hair and a multitude of bracelets and necklaces.
"Come on Tsu'tey!" The girl yelled at Tsu'tey, or at Awa. "Sylwani has found the humans. We need to hurry!"
Adrenaline started pumping through her veins and her limbs trembled in anticipation of what was to come. Though Tsu'tey's body was happy and looking forward to what was to come, Awa was the opposite. She knew what the results would be and the memories of that vision washed over her in big waves of old but not forgotten pain.
"I'm coming!" She unwillingly opened her mouth but it was not her voice that came out, but a more younger and more high-pitched version of adult Tsu'tey. Awa tried to resist what Tsu'tey wanted to do, by Eywa did she try to stop him but since it was a past memory she was powerless to what had happened and what was going to happen.
She held a flower in her hand. It was a pale purple and looked rather dull compared to the other flowers around them but she felt pride over it, like it was something rare and unique. Excitement rushed through her and a slight twinge of nervosity reared its ugly head when she twisted the flower in her hand. It was for someone, Awa deduced, a girl.
Awa's legs pumped beneath her steadily, her breathing steady and her hand clutching the fragile flower gently as if to make sure it remains whole until she gave it away. As soon as the whooping sounds of her peers could be heard another great flash of white blinded her.
When Awa opened her eyes again she was back on the branch, in her own body and was tightly embraced by Tsu'tey. She shakily touched his arm and then nodded again, showing that she was ready and strong enough to see it all. Awa would do this for him, just like she had seen all those things back then. It was her burden to bear.
This time she welcomed the flashing of white and didn't even bother closing her eyes. Instead she stared right through it defiantly. If her mate got through it and recovered as good as he did then she could bear looking at the experiences that shaped him with bravery.
"Sylwanin!" She felt her throat force out the desperate wail before she could even see what was going on. She could smell the thick smoke of whatever they were doing, it was forcing itself into her mouth and nose, making it harder and harder to breathe through it. Awa could feel that the bravery she previously possessed was dimming slightly at the sheer heat that she was feeling against her body.
"Tsu'tey" An equally desperate shout answered her and she opened her eyes. The sound calmed the raging worry inside of her and... love flared up in her chest.
There was a great fire in front of her, one that was bigger than some of the trees in the surrounding area and that lit up all the cheering Na'vi's faces up in different shades of victory. Accomplishment and pride made her puff up her chest and let out a echoing shriek that without a doubt could be heard kilometers away from where they were.
"We did it, we did it, we did it!" Voices shouted all around her. She shivered at the sheer power the words held and then she looked around her. Twice as many children as she had seen before were dancing in front of the fire and whooping and laughing.
"We brought down a human machine!" A voice from besides her cheered. The words made Awa shift her eyes over to where the fire was, observing it.
A gasp tore its way through her throat, though it was inaudible, at the sight before her. The big fire was in reality a bulldozer that the children together had brought down and set on fire. No doubt that the humans inside of it were all dead or had run away from their posts.
Once again she was brought back to Tsu'tey and this time he had pulled her onto his lap and was possesively and defensively cuddling her closer to his chest, shielding her from the outside world.
"We were only teenagers when we did it. Sylwanin and I weren't the oldest. The youngest had just started training." His throat contracted in pain and he swallowed before continuing. "We thought we were making a difference and helping the clan. We did, and are, but we did it the wrong way."
"It's okay" She whispered to him with closed eyes before placing a hand on his cheek and leaning her forehead against his. She cooed gently at him and caressed his cheek. "You did all you could"
Right before the bright light hit her again she felt him shake his head against hers.
This time she was running. She was holding someone's hand in a deathgrip. Awa could feel the exhaustion that came with her visions creep upon her, or that's what she thought it was. This exhaustion wasn't hers, it wasn't she that was slowing down or panting like crazy. She was in a memory. She was holding Sylwanin's hand in hers, dragging her along with her.
"Run!" She snarled back at her but her voice wavered in fear and anger. "They can't catch us!"
Awa knew this path. She had walked it before, with Grace. Her heart dropped to her stomach and all she wanted to do was curl into a ball on the ground and cry. Tears clouded her vision but she knew they wouldn't fall. As long as she was in the memory she wasn't in control of her movements or in this case visible tears.
She wanted to scream, shout and yell at them to run back to the hometree. To not hide at the school. God her head hurt. She sobbed when they got even closer, she so desperately wanted to shake Tsu'tey by the shoulders and yank both him and Sylwanin away from the path they had chosen. Her throat contracted and she felt nauseous. Awa wanted to scream until her throat was raw and her voice gone.
"Grace will hide us" She whispered back to her companion, her voice hopeful and confident. Inside Awa felt the opposite. The words brought her pain, so much pain that she had no words for it. Grace couldn't hide them, she never had a chance. Frustration boiled inside of her, anger threatened to make her blow her top off, but the sadness and pain ebbed it all away and all she had left was the overbearing feeling that she wanted to cry. "She has to" She repeated, though this time her words sounded less convinced than before.
"They warned us not to do it, but we still did it." The thing that brought her back from the memory this time was the sheer heartbreak in Tsu'tey's voice. It didn't matter that she had heard the story from him before, it had been vague but she had gotten the gist of it and she had bawled her eyes out afterwards, but seeing it was another thing entirely. Seeing the event from his eyes couldn't even compare to hearing stories or even seeing the visions. "We lost too much that day"
"Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known!" Awa insisted and pressed a small kiss to his brow. "You couldn't have known" She repeated before being sent back into the memory.
Warmth surrounded her. A wetness enveloped her and tears flowed down her eyes like the strongest of waterfalls. Heavy sobs shook her body and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Awa winced at the pulsing pain in her ear but it was nothing compared to the heartbreaking feeling she felt when she looked down in her lap.
Sylwanin's cold, dead eyes stared right up at her and blood painted her mouth a bright red with a matching stripe running down her chin. Awa rocked back and forward with heavy wails coming from her sore throat. "Sylwanin!" She was screaming over and over again until her voice could only muster a weak whisper.
The body was still warm but Awa felt the absence of Sylwanin's soul in her body. If anything that made her shake the dead Na'vi's body harder, as if trying to shake her back to life again. She shrieked loudly but it quickly turned into a sob that turned into another wail.
Awa leaned down and pressed her forehead against Sylwanin's cold one but when the head flopped to the side she broke into tears again. Gunshots echoed around her but all she could focus on was the body in her arms. She felt like she was dying, like the death of Sylwaning was the death of her. All of her purpose died with her.
"Come back to me" A voice murmured and Awa could just barely hear it over the sound of her own heartbreaking sounds. "Awa come back to me!" The voice was more desperate this time, but she had spent too much time in the memory.
Someone was shaking her. "Awa! Don't leave me! It's just a memory!" The voice screamed at her and shook her even harder. "I love you! Please don't leave me" The voice cracked at the end and she could feel drips of liquid drop onto her face.
"I love you too" She whispered and with a fierce cry broke herself away from the memory she had almost trapped herself in.
The scene melted away and as soon as she stirred she was crushed into someone's chest. "I thought I lost you" The voice, Tsu'tey, whispered with wide, frightened eyes that stared right into her shocked ones.
"I-" Awa begun and she could feel tears forming in her eyes. "I am so sorry."
Tsu'tey whimpered slightly and frantically brushed a hand through her braids. "Don't be, please don't be. You couldn't do anything. It's in the past, Awa, that's all it is. A memory. " He almost hit himself when he realised what had just happened. "Eywa forgive me. I never should have showed you it. I forgot." His words quieted down until all she could hear was a mess of words that he was spitting out at a pace she had never seen before. The sheer panic and pain in his eyes made her stop for a moment before reality came crashing back.
She sniffled, trying to reign in the sorrow that was eating her up inside. With her gift it wasn't just a memory. With anyone else that memory would have just been a memory, being played in front of their eyes like a movie. But she had a gift, and that made it so that she couldn't have the privilege of that. No, she lived through the events she was shown. Felt the emotions they felt, the pain, the anger, the sorrow, everything. It ate her up. Just because the memory ended doesn't mean the emotions does. She could still feel Sylwanin's hand clutching hers only to be laying limp in the next. Awa could still feel that pressing sense of sorrow that overwhelmed her and that was so intense it hurt to even breathe.
"You're safe now" Tsu'tey whispered and pressed her forehead against the back of her head. "I'm so sorry Awa"
AN: Okay, late update. I've been exhausted these last days, for a multitude of reasons but finally I've scrambled up an update for you. I'm not saying it's a filler but it kinda is (all stories need some fillers, y'know". I don't think I did the event justice, it was really hard to describe it in a way that you would understand the feelings. Anyways, hope you liked it!