Me: Attention readers! I have put my other narrators away. Mimi, Angel and Nadia are all sleeping after I put them out with Nyquil. Ducky and me will be narrating for this chappie. Oh and for the record "He-ing and she-ing" means straight sex, he-ing and he-ing means guy on guy, and she-ing and she-ing means girl on girl. The last one will make sense after that. This is a joke a girl at school told me.
Ducky: Yayy!
While the protest was still being finished, our heroes realize that tonight's the nite that Father O'Reily was coming over. They had a plan to really spazz him out and make sure he never messed with the bohos of Avenue A. It was almost eight and he was due any minute.
"Okay so we all know our cues?" Maureen asked them all.
"Yes"
"Now remember don't start until he starts huffing and puffing."
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Jason went to go get it.
"Come on in!" he said cheerfully.
The old priest and his assistant the Mother Superior sat down and looked at the sight of 10 disheveled looking adults and children and sighed. "Well I just came to introduce myself since I moved next door a few weeks ago. I've been sent here from my parish to minister to the Alphabet City and my first assignment was here."
Mark sat there looking at this old cronie "We're not going to church one because I'm Jewish and two because the rest of us are fine dancing by the full moon and worshipping Satan" he said with a snicker.
This statement appalled Father O'Reily. "Do you all know the paths you will end up at if you keep up this lifestyle? To the fiery bowels of Hell! The parish was right this house is full of sin! Do you want to raise these poor children in a home where there's he-ing and she-ing going on all the time?"
This got all them rolling as Rachel and Kyle jumped up and started dancing.
He nearly fell out of his seat "Well it can't be any worst than he-ing and he-ing!"
Everyone nearly died as Mark, Roger and Jason got up and took bows.
"Oh great Holy Spirit in heaven please tell me there's no SHE-ING and SHE-ING going around!" said Mother Superior.
Maureen and Joanne got up at that time as the rest of them fell over in hysterics.
Father O'Reily saw that one person didn't get up at all, which was Collins. He looked over to him and said. " Well bless my soul at least there's one person here who's sane. Are you saying you haven't been he-ing and she-ing or he-ing and he-ing?"
Collins slowly rose up and stood on the table. "Nope ever since my boyfriend passed it's just been some ME-ING and ME-ING for me!" he shouted as his family cheered.
La vie BohemeFather: You make fun yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
That's full of reckless sin
Bohemia Bohemia
Will soon destroy your head
The good Lord has spoken
Bohemia is dead
The bohos got up as Ryan began reprising his dad's solo. Ria laid down on the table as if she were dead.
Ryan: Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes
Jason and Mark: Dires Irae Dires Irae….
Ryan: Here she lies no one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
Like the nights when we celebrate the birth
In the little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass
You BET YOUR ASS too
LA VIE BOHEME!
All: La vie Boheme 8X
Ryan: To days of inspiration
Playing hooky
Making something outta nothing
The need to express to communicate
Ria: To going against the grain
Going insane going MAD!
Jason: To loving tension
Collins: No pension
Jason: To more than one direction
Ryan: To starving for attention
Hating potation
Hating convention
Ria: Not to mention of course
All the kids: Hating dear old Mom and Dad!
Mark: To riding your bike midday past the 3 pieces suits
Roger: To fruits
All: To no absolute!
Rachel: To Absolut!
Ria: To Choice
Mark: To the village voice
To any passing fad
All: To being an us for once
Instead of a them
LA VIE BOHEME!
Mother Superior sat there in shock as Mark kissed Roger
Mark: Hey Mother…he's my brother!Jason: Would you like some miso soup, seaweed salad, soy burger, tofu dogs, or pasta with meatless balls?
Rachel: EWW
Ria: It tastes the same
Jason: If you close your eyes
All: WINE AND BEER!
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
To apathy to atrophy to empathy to ecasty
Jason: Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game
Collins: TO MARAJUANIA!Jason, Mark and Roger: TO SODOMY! It's between GOD AND ME!
All the parents: TO S&M! LA VIE BOHEME!
Collins: In honor of the sinfulness known as Bohemia an impromptu salon will now commemence! Maria Davis will play Musetta's waltz on her dad's old Fender guitar. Which she has never studied!
Ria: And Jason Collins will do the Carmina Burana while ontop of the fire escape!
Father O'Reily was appalled by this. He and Mother Superior were getting ready to leave but were stopped by Ria.
"Before you go there's one more thing we should tell you"
All: To dance!Ria: No way to make a living muscle spasams pain perfection
Chiropracters, short careers
EATING DISORDERS!
All: FILM!
Ryan: Adventure tedium boring locations
Darkrooms faces ego Hollywood
And scheme!
All: Music!
Roger: Food of love emotion
Mathamatics Isolation
Rhythm feeling power harmony and heavy competiton
All: Anarchy!
Rach and Collins: Revolution Justice screaming for solution
Forcing changes risking danger
To making noise and making pleas!
Mark: (in O'Reily's face) To faggots!
Maureen and Joanne: LEZZIES DYKES!
Jason and Collins: CROSS DRESSERS TOO!
Rach: To me!
Ria: To me!
All: To you and you and you you and you!
Jason, Collins, Roger, Ria: To people living
Living with, NOT DYING FROM DISESAE!
All: LET HE AMONG US WITHOUT SIN BE THE FIRST TO CONDEMM!
LA VIE BOHEME!
Ryan: Any one out of the mainstream?
Ria: Is anyone IN the mainstream?
Jason: Anyone alive with a SEX DRIVE?
Collins: Tear down the wall aren't we all?
Roger: The opposite of war isn't peace
All: It's creation! WOOO!
La vie Boheme…..
The old priest and nun were heading out of the loft. Ria shouted "Before you even THINK about messing with us again remember…."
All: VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!They watched as the two old geezers ran outta the loft.
"That oughta fix his holy wagon!" Ryan shouted as they all cheered.
Little did they know that their problems had just started.
Ducky: Now what?
Me: I've officially ran outta ideas
Ducky: Where's our friends?
Me: Sleeping.
Ducky: R&R!
Me: I'll give you candy!
