A/N: Thank you all for the extraordinary feedback. I greatly appreciate the "follows," "favorites." "reviews'" and "PM's." Please keep them coming, as they feed my energy and creativity.
I chapter 6, Sarah's walls came crashing down and she opened herself to Chuck, suddenly finding herself lost in his arms, his eyes, his lips. She felt a weight lifted from her soul and embraced the moment only to be suddenly pulled away for another mission. She left Chuck standing alone on the beach. Their beach. Will absence make the heart grow fonder or will old habits die hard?
This story has a mild T-rating for occasional coarse language, some adult themes, and some violence, but nothing too graphic.
I hope you enjoy it, and favor me with following or reviewing. It's the only way I can know if the effort I've put into writing this is giving anyone any sort of joy.
As usual, my thanks continue to go to Nevr for pre and beta reading. He is producing so many amazing stories that if you have not been following him or his work, you are really missing something. Thanks Nev!
Also as usual, I don't own Chuck or profit from writing this story.
Chapter 7 – Departures:
Sarah let the tears fall for the entire cab ride back to the Fairmont, the sudden sense of loss overwhelmingly powerful and new. Once she arrived at the Fairmont, however, Sarah snapped into spy mode, and managed to push down her newly discovered and bubbling emotions. She changed outfits, packed her bag and quickly checked out leaving a short note at the front desk for Carina Miller. Less than two hours later, she was pushed back into her seat as the CIA jet accelerated down the runway. As the plane gained altitude, she looked out the window towards the beach wondering if Chuck was still there, and felt a sharp pang in her heart. Could she have said no to Graham? Should she have? Yes. She should have. Unfortunately for her, the minute she heard Graham's voice, she automatically reverted to being an operative, as she had done every day for the previous ten years. Then her internal struggle began. Her heart was screaming to give this opportunity the attention it required or risk never being able to break free of the cold loneliness of the "spy life." Her brain fought back bitterly 'you barely know Chuck. You have basically spent a grand total of about three hours with the man, and you are about to throw it all away because you suddenly have some feelings? Do you even know what they mean? How do you even know he will stand by his word? How can he, now that he knows what you have done for ten years?' As she usually did when faced with a problem, Sarah worked it. She worked it until she felt she understood that both her heart and her brain were right. There was something about Chuck that was special, and there was no denying how he made her feel. Someone once said, "The heart wants what the heart wants." Chuck was worth the effort, and she would do everything she could to explore the potential for whatever it was that the two of them found on that piece of beach. Her brain was also right. Giving into the moment could have caused Sarah to second guess her decision, potentially resenting Chuck and ruining what she thought they might have. The decision to go was painful, but also tempered by having something to look forward to. Something that warmed her heart. She thought about the future for a moment, and smiled. She allowed herself to fantasize about what the future might hold for a few more minutes, then decided to put all her focus on the mission. The sooner she got it done, the sooner she could get back to Chuck. Her Chuck.
She opened the briefing materials and under her breath muttered, "Oh fuck!" She read the mission brief and she shivered. She was heading to Pakistan, and from there her mission was to find and terminate Mohammed Khan Al Bazeeri, one of the Afghanistan's most dangerous warlords, who was closely linked to a number of terrorist organizations. This mission was fraught with danger, and given the remote location of his strong holds and his security forces, it was going to take some time to find him, pull together a plan, and execute the plan, which hopefully included a realistic probability of getting out alive. It didn't help that Sarah would be a very tall and very beautiful blonde woman, trying to avoid standing out in a misogynistic society where almost the entire population was shorter and darker than her. Fortunately she was not completely alone. There would be a support team on the ground who would work to provide the necessary intelligence, and keep her safely hidden while out in the field.
The flight from Los Angeles to Ramstein Air Force base in Germany on the Gulfstream G-700 would take approximately eleven hours and cover almost 6,000 nautical miles. Sarah spent the first few hours reading and re-reading the mission files and checking her equipment before sending Graham a flash message confirming her departure and that she had gone through the materials and equipment. She then grabbed a blanket and tried to get as much sleep as she could. Unfortunately, once her mind was freed from focusing on the mission, her thoughts drifted to Chuck and the sharp pain she felt in her heart returned with a vengeance. Sarah understood now that the mysterious symptoms she was feeling were tied to her growing feelings for Chuck. What started as an unsettled stomach blossomed into an unquenchable ache deep inside her. She hated the pain, yet loved that she could feel. That she could feel with such depth. It meant her heart and her soul were alive and that ten years of loyal and unquestioning service as an assassin hadn't diminished her humanity. All it took was a special man to help her find her find it, pull it out of the darkness, and warm it with the light of his kindness. She had heard what Chuck had said about intimacy, love and passion, but now she felt it. Knew it. And while it hurt, she loved knowing that this was all because of him. She was going to get this mission done, and she was going to resign from the CIA. Then she was going to get back to him, and together they were going to start a new life, full of the things that mattered most. But right now, she needed to force herself to get some rest as once she landed in Germany she would have a short window to wash up and maybe grab a coffee before the second leg of her trip to Islamabad.
A few days later, a similar fate awaited Morgan, as Carina's vacation time ended and she left Morgan to report back to D.C. Their last night had been special for both of them and for the first time since they met, they made love tenderly, passionately and intimately until it came to part. Both were stoic as they separated, but both were feeling a deep sense of loss glancing one last time at each other as Carina walked through the "passenger only" security screening area on her way to her gate. An hour later, Chuck and Morgan met at a local brew pub to celebrate what they had found, and commiserate on what they seemed to have lost.
= ! =
"So, Sarah said she was coming back. Back to you Chuck. That is awesome. Any idea when that will be?" Morgan tried to lighten Chuck's spirits.
"No idea, Morgs. I have no idea where she is or what she is doing. And I have no idea when she might be able to come back." Chuck replied a little despondently. "But at least I have you, Ellie, and Captain Awesome. And I think I'm close to solving the problem with the algorithm on the new game, so we will have lots to keep ourselves busy. How about you? What's the story with Carina?"
"We are good. I really like her, and I think she really likes me, too. She's headed to New York for some assignment of some sort, but, you know….we never really talked much about what she does for work. Regardless, we are trying to see if I can pop out there for a weekend sometime next month, so hopefully that works out," Morgan replied happily.
"I'm happy for you pal. I really am." Chuck grinned.
= ! =
It had been three months since Sarah left Chuck standing on the beach with the promise of her return, and for the entire three months, Chuck had done his best to stay focused. He immersed himself in his work, solving the algorithm problem, and removing the last complex obstacle to finishing what he felt was going to be the most revolutionary game experience since the Atari game console came out in the late 70's. Instead of working with GameSoft, they managed to secure a line of credit from Silicon Valley Bank, which would allow them to produce, market and distribute their game without a third-party intermediary. Morgan and Chuck hired some additional staff, moved to larger offices, and contracted the manufacturing of the game components to a company in Taiwan. In addition to the new game, the big contract they had signed with GameSoft three months earlier was also paying dividends. Sales were ramping faster than forecast and additional revenue was coming from licensed product sales including branded clothing and merchandise. CBMG GameSphere was on the verge of becoming the next big thing.
On the personal side, there were lots of developments as well. Captain Awesome asked for Chuck's blessing to marry Ellie, which he had proudly given, and the happy couple was now busy planning a spring wedding. Even Morgan and Carina stepped things up agreeing to date exclusively, with the couple alternating travel weekends in New York or Los Angeles. Life was moving forward and it was amazing, except for the giant hole in Chuck's heart.
Every day, for the last three months, Chuck packed two sandwiches in the picnic basket, walked to the beach and ate by himself, hoping that would be the day she came back. He stayed strong and totally committed to her, but he felt lost, adrift. His heart ached for its missing counterpart.
Three months turned to four, then to five, without a peep from Sarah. Chuck had even asked Carina if there was any way she could find out where Sarah was or how she was, but Carina was simply unable to help. Throughout the period, Chuck quietly scanned every bit of news he could to see if there was international event that might give him a clue as to where she was, but he found nothing.
In the blink of an eye, Christmas was approaching, along with the six month mark, and life was going even faster. The six month revenue forecast for their GameSoft contract was shattered as actual sales hit just short of sixty million, effectively tripling the forecast, and spinning off almost twelve million to CBMG GameSphere, plus another three million in merchandise sales. The launch of Chuck's newest game, which was paired with the Occulus Rift exploded, setting a new release record. Chuck and Morgan were becoming materially wealthy and their gaming software development company was accelerating its growth. Still, a deep emptiness haunted Chuck as he waited and hoped. Taking their lunch to the beach every day.
On December 23rd, Chuck went to the bank and accessed his safety deposit box where he extracted his mother's lucky charm bracelet. He wanted to have it over Christmas so he could present it to Sarah, in the event she should appear. As Chuck prepared for Christmas, so too did Ellie and Devon, who would host every meal from Christmas eve dinner, through Christmas lunch and the subsequent Twilight Zone marathon. Carina had even planned to fly out on the 23rd to spend Christmas with Morgan, Chuck, Ellie and Awesome. Chuck silently prayed for a Christmas miracle, and that the woman he barely knew, who had stolen his heart and was pulled away from him, would miraculously appear. Then he chastised himself for being self-centered and greedy, and amended his prayer. He prayed that wherever Sarah was and whatever she was doing, that she was safe, and hopefully, she had not forgotten about him.
With his mother's charm bracelet in his pocket, Chuck drove to Lou's sandwich shop to pick up two sandwiches, some chips, and two Cokes he ordered on line. Once picked up, he slipped them into the picnic basket and drove to their beach for his daily lunch. He had no sooner sat down when his phone rang.
"Oh. Hi, Ellie," he answered with a tinge of sadness in his voice.
"Hey, Chuck. Instead of eating lunch on the beach by yourself, why don't you come over? We can eat together and talk." Ellie was becoming increasingly concerned with Chuck's behavior. She appreciated that he felt a special bond with this woman, Sarah, but he barely knew her, and hadn't heard a peep from her in six months. Every effort Ellie made to get him to talk about his feelings and pull him out of his funk was pushed back, and she was worried about Chuck going through a Jill 2.0 heart break.
"Thanks, sis, but I'm already eating, and besides, I like it here on the beach. You know this is where I do my thinking," Chuck added a little defensively.
Ellie had tip-toed long enough. "Chuck, I know you have a deeply romantic heart and that you felt a strong connection to Sarah, but after six months without a peep, I think you need to face the fact that she has moved on and isn't coming back. And…and I can't see you suffering and alone like this. I think it's time for you to let her go, and move on, too," she pleaded softening her tone.
"Ellie, I love you, and I know you are trying to help. And I really do appreciate it. I know it may not be a comfort, but I am fine, and I'm doing exactly what I want. I am a grown man, and if I want to put myself in this position, I will ask you to respect it," he spoke in a soft voice, but there was no mistaking his firmness.
"But you hardly know her, Chuck," Ellie continued to push.
"Ellie, that's enough! I love her. I love her with a depth I can't even comprehend. She is it for me, and I am committed to seeing this through, one way or another. And no one, not even you, is going to make me change my mind. So, please, I want to finish my lunch, then go back to work for a few hours." He paused and took a breath. "And Ellie, thank you for calling. I love you."
Chuck sat back on and bit into his still warm tuna melt on sourdough, and smiled. Damn, that Lou can sure make a good sandwich.
Please let me know what you think!